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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Very nice.
Very amusing.
two dates at the same time at the same place, classic!
and dashes date is *drum roll* apple bloom. ok maybe not but that be helpful right now, more problems later but for now it be helpful. really curious as to what she is going to do 3 mares but only one heart.
well.....buck
This is getting all kinds of jacked up for Scootaloo!
I really hope she doesn't turn into some kind of filly whore, or something to that effect.
Also, filly Rarity x Scootaloo clop scene!
Great chapter... Cept the clop part. You really am trying to make me dispise every dirty word there is are ya? If you are then you are succeding horribly well.
1929040 Evidently not applebloom.
I loved the first one
I don't know if it was intended but (for me at least) it was such a funny mind fu*k, yet it was a pretty good story and enjoyable clop in some places
I was reading it and wondering in my head "wow, wonder where NOW will we go with this" and it did not disappoint me till the end! it was just...perfect in what it was
Yet, this one...i don't know, its not a flame because i really tried i REALLY REALLY tried to read this and enjoy, yet i can't. Seems so...chaotic without a purpose (not like the first one lol which might feel like it, but wasn't) and...dunno, forced?
Don't know exacly why i commented, perhaps i wanted to tell you how much i loved the first one, yet the second seems so out of place.
Cheers
1933718
No not forced, it's a matter of i started out with a plot i hated, thought about wiping it, stuck with it but kicked it to the curb within the plot, and now i'm working on a whole new plotline.(which always start out slow) I always pride myself on doing things that haven't been done before, and with this fic I'm doing exactly that. I'm shipping two characters who (to my knowledge) have never been shipped before, I've created a realistic environment.(What? did you expect things to work out like surgarplums and gumdrops?) Giving Scootaloo an in depth character.(She's a preteen filly with her own set of problems and is having to deal with everything else on top of it) and showing the darker side of the fashionesta.(You can't expect her to be chipper and up beat when the world around her has been warped beyond comprehension to her mind.) That's one of the things that can drive readers away from my stories the fact that a lot of my fics do take a realistic approach.
1933718
Another thing to note is that this is all building up to a climax. Don't stop reading just yet because it's gonna get good within a a few chapters.
1933841
soo...you want to tell me that the first one was...well...how do I put it "not the stuff you wrote your stories are" ?
Because i really liked the first one : p it was fun to read, and i mean REALLY fun to read, I lost alot of my sleep hours because of that damned story (which was good xD)
its not THAT, its just...i dunno. Its just to much lol, its like you're throwing everything at us, hard to say whats "not okay" for me with this one ugh...
BUT, okay i will trust you with this one and will read till that climax appears.
hope its worth it, because i would really love to enjoy this story some more
1933871
The belle tolls for love was all me, but what i mean is that the opening chapters to this one i didn't like and attempted to write out with success, and if your having that much trouble sorting out "what's right" then the direction i am taking this story is doing the right job, i aimed to blur the line between "right and wrong" with this story to make the reader truly question the characters in this story but not in a bad way. So if you feeling conflicted with trying to judge one pony as bad or good, then don't feel bad, that's the point.
Your prose, spelling and grammar have definitely improve since the first one, but plot-wise this is a bit of a mess. I'm really not interested in yet another story where someone tries to go on two dates at once.
1935781
It's all about the build up, patience young grasshopper, you'll see what i have planned.
Oh Scootaloo....you are in waaaay over your head! Great story! Loving every second!
I can see the shit storm and the massive industrial sized fan getting ready
Aaaaaargghhh!
Why, Scootaloo?! Why must you ruin your already screwed over situation? I can take the feels, but I already have too much awkward in my life! Why?!
Aw crap.
Cap
_________
sense
____________
Applebloom >> Apple Bloom
_______________
*grabs popcorn*
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