[Warning: this is an economical and caricatural reflexion without much humor]
Pinkie Pie was just enjoying a sunny day. But an encounter with the cutie mark crusaders and the leftovers of their latest creation lead her to build her own invention, the "Superpinkiastrolophilosothingything".
A pony comes and buys it, which Pinkie Pie accepts because it makes the pony happy and she loves making other ponies happy. But as other ponies come too to buy their own "Superpinkiastrolophilosothingything", Pinkie Pie begins to have some difficulty understanding what's happening and how to control it before something goes wrong...
Even if you could think this text is an economical satire, I have to warn you that this is just the way you interpret it. As for me, I just wanted to write about Pinkie Pie inventing the "Superpinkiastrolophilosothingything" and describe what purpose it had. If you want to be lectured, go see Twilight, that's her domain after all...Silly.
cdn.head-fi.org/b/b5/314x314px-LL-b56fd831_clap.gif
That machine is useless. The answer was seventy eight, anyway; everypony knows that.
Where is the random tag? This NEEDS it!
Also, I've found so many mistakes I won't even bother to list them all, unless you want me to.
If you need to start defending your story in the synopsis, you might want to re-think your approach. Also the mistakes. The horrid mistakes.
If you need to start defending your story in the synopsis, you might want to re-think your approach. Also the mistakes. The horrid mistakes. (My favourite was "spings"). Bad grammar, worse typos and you got yourself a downvote before I could even get 500 words into the story.
The mistakes... I really try, Word helps a little.
But I could use to know what mistakes I repeat over the whole texte. Those I could probably avoid easily if I knew them.
I'll try and check the text once again. But to be honest, I'll consider just sticking to writing french stories if my mistakes in english are that bad... As I said, don't want to waste people's time. Your time.
[edit: put the random tag]
Chapter 6's title is totally not a Portal reference. No
Oh it is. I love to put references all over the place. And I love portal so... yeah.
I mean, chapter one is pretty obvious for futurama.
I want it now for Applebloom.
For what it's worth was an attempt to do play of words ("jeu de mots" don't know how to translate that).
1774320
HITCHHIKERS GUIDE TO THE GALAXY
OH YEAH