Navy Vet working IT, I usually write about whatever inspires me.
Souls are immortal, what you do with them throughout incarnations determines their strength. A man becomes a god, destined to save humanity, only to fail, its own corruption and greed ending all life on the planet. Sealing himself away, will he ever find peace and happiness in the new world he awakens to?
Mar 3, 2016, Cancelled because I'm over OP self inserts. Imagine a final battle with volanoes and stupid op stuff that makes little sense.
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yay
I need a cover image...
I think I'm gonna like this one.
this is EPIC I can't wait for the next chapter IDK what I was thinking when i said the prologue might not be good
I think these guys look somewhat immortal but not sure it these are what you need...
i641.photobucket.com/albums/uu136/Serpent-God/LifeofDeadwood-1.jpg
i641.photobucket.com/albums/uu136/Serpent-God/SerpentKing-1.jpg
i641.photobucket.com/albums/uu136/Serpent-God/aya-1.jpg
122566 actually if you don't mind, the first image portrays the human character quite well, able to feel the energies of the world around him and such.
Man this is not just good, its real good, many HiE stories suck but i can already tell this isn't going to be one of them, you gave a very good and detailed description of the character and his background in the opening, with leave so much to work with and so many ways you can take this, its going to be fun reading the next chapter, cant wait to see how the main 6 and the princesses will react to him.
I have read many HiE story but this is the first one there the main/human character is said to be a god, i was not realy sure at first but by the looks of it, its going to be epic
Its good to see that you didn't make the protagonist/human omnipresent and all powerful, you made make him powerful as hell but whit limitations, it wouldn't make a good story if he was all powerful immortal omnipresent and all knowing, i mean you can´t work whit that if you plan to make him a character they are going to interact whit.
So good to see you made him more like lest say Celestia and Luna with limitations. (but i still think he shod packs more of a punch then both of them)
I wonder if there will be a villains/bad guy in the story and in that chase how or what, not to say there need to be one, just take Hiatus by Vargras for exempel, its on my 5 top fanfic list and no deaths or villains in it.
Having the Jeff trying to fix small things/problems and have him try to adapt to a normal life in ponyville (or whatever he desire to live) who'd be still as interesting to read if it was well written and edited,
So in conclusion this was a very good start on what i am a sure will be a very grate HiE fanfic, will definitely be tracking this.
I wait to pass any "final judgment" on it jet, sins theirs only one chapter and not much to judge a thought thru decision yet. (but i must say it does look promising)
You were in the navy?
I have a friend who's in the navy, and we got him a giant gaming laptop for christmas
I WANT IT.
BTW: Yay, no hate mail
It not my they're just old pics l found on my computer so fell free to use it/them
122688 Yes I'm a navy veteran, I'm using a Mac running Windows 7 Pro as a gaming/work computer. and yes, being out to sea for extendid periods of time under a lot of stress fucks with your mind. I actually started a trend to carry around rape whistles to blow whenever the upper chain of command "raped with a razor blade dildo." creative swearing was also something i started.
122632 Thank you
im about half done with the next chapter, then i need to revise it several times.
122566 ok thx, uploaded!
good to know your a fast writer
123786 I usually spend a day or two devising how i want to create the character, personality and such. then i write out my ideas then fill in the blanks
Excellent
Sorry to anyone expecting longer chapters but the pace of the story requires me to cut it up a bit.
122889
>raped with a razor-blade dildo
What the fuck?
131399 indeed.
needs more chapters
I feel special getting to read the chapters before anyone else.
I loved how those two revealed themselves:
Ok, let’s do ‘Dramatic Reveal 46,933’”
“Grrr….Fine.”
I especially liked the part when he called them “A peguunicorn” lol
131528 well 1.6 billion years is a long time to wait, your bound to lose your mind and think of strange things. a lot of strange things.
This story... is the best HiE I have ever read... I NEED MOAR!
Sweet chapter for sure.
Only thing i think you shod do in future chapters is to skip the first person angel or at least switch it up whit a new point of view, from time to time.
It got a bit irritating around half way into the chapter.
132340 I went with first person because while in third person some plot points were revealed too early.
Wow I was expecting a shitstorm from the god-squad. good story.
Excellent
Tracking, on account of wanting more.
Woot so the human character in this story is sort of the god of Equestria?
140289 spoilers
140308
Spoilers only us two get to know.
This is sweet but do gods fart?
146741 their biology is explained in a later chapter, but for now "yes"
“Fang?”
“Hm?”
“Fart and you’re sleeping outside.”
Lol!
awesome chapter. i cant wait to see where this goes from here.
Wouldn't it be "For the Horde!"?
148234 indeed. I should dunk my editor in a pot of boiling water a few times.
This is EPIC
Excellent
this chapter just got even more interesting then the first one, well done indeed.
154304 Now if only EQD would post the link.
148283
Nou. I haven't played WoW in years and i was enjoying the story more than actually editing it this time.
"For the swarm!"
bean more then a week now and no more updates, your killing me here Lunafan1k ^^.
175880 I'm so sorry!!
I've been marathoning Full Metal Alchemest Brotherhood the last few days!!
I'm on the last few episodes so it'll be up soon I promise!!
Oh brother, well done, well done :P heehee
but seriously though, this was pretty great. I still think you should add your beloved little sister into the plot to make things interesting. heehee :3
179961
lowbird.com/data/images/2011/03/1299943493450.jpg
180392 myfacewhen.com/images/3.png
WOOHOO! Another chapter! I like where this is going and the way that jeff is not exactly "all powerful" but just nearly should I say. Keep up the good work!
uh when Jeff and Fang started eating the meat shouldn't there of been a more disgusted reaction
yeah, the whole meat thing felt off.
aside that, great chapter,