"The humans? They were here. This history book says so."
Shortly after the return of the Crystal Empire, Twilight Sparkle borrows a book from the Crystal Empire's library, and it speaks of Equestria before Celestia and Luna lived among the other creatures of Equestria, when they lived just as the sun and the moon.
But the book also speaks of a species that was banished from Equestria,
the humans.
Twilight, intrigued by her new found source of knowledge of a species she has never heard of before, decides to look deeper into the study of humans.
Chapters (3)
Barrow? That's all I have to say about the description.
Well let's see where this goes, you've caught my interest
Although the formatting could use some work, but that's about it
Interesting.
Someone call Lyra! she'll like to read this book here
Oh, great, another misanthropic HiE. I'm out.
"Then there was a sound,
a sound of angles singing,"
Also, what Guardian said. But I will stick around and see where this goes.
1637115
oops, fixed it.
Finished typing this at about 12:00 Am, sorry bout that.
1637425
Sorry to see you go, but here's some love
1637494
Are you expressing a dislike towards that part, or simply quoting It?
Please let me know, as I wish to make this fic enjoyable for everyone
1637164
The formatting looked much better when I typed it up in Word, but I had to practically redo most of the formatting when I pasted it into fimfiction's text editor thingy.
Thank you all for the feedback!!
Looks interesting, keep it up.
I suppose it is possible, but I doubt even Celestia has the power to move an army of thousands over the distance of a few thousand light years, maybe to another place on the planet. I dislike the setup but am hoping for some technologically advanced humans to come back and take back what is rightfully theirs. Or is this not that kind of story?
Yeh I am wiht romaniamiam on this one about humans thake back what's theres. I mean when Celestia and Luna arrived they treated every one race as there own but they are complely full on douchebag mod when they judged the humans this war whas like when the troubled child in the family start to treate the other childrens in the family and then the "parrent's" come in and if they are responsive parent's they give a punishment on him/her to learn it's lesson and hope thet the troubled children woud open up and become like the other childern loving trustable etc and they make it sure thet they will be there for him/her. What happend here? For me in a nut shell: the troubled children do something bad (humans go in war becouse they are full on greed mod agan I think Celestia and Luna coud prevent this if they cared at all about the human race) the parrents shove up (agan they only shove up when the ponies are treatend wiht war they didn't give a flying pegasus feather about the dragons griffons etc) and go fully punishment wiht out a realy lesson which only cause pain and more negative feeling from the troubled children to it's parrents and his/her siblings. (yeh becouse trowing out the troubled children out from the family house on the first problem to the big nasty word alone is the profe of perfect parenting
...lol no). And then they revard the ponies becouse they did so much good on there part (no they didn't do anithing but get a lot of things for nothing.....I so hate it when a parent favour one if it's child to the suffering/neglet to the other 
). And not forget thet the griffon and dragon mayority yoined to the humans in this war yet they didn't get banished from there home and left alone. Also later Luna trying to kill every living thing on the planet by ethernal night meanwhile the humans only whanted to rule the word not kill it (which in my opinion is a hell of a less sin) and what she get? 1000 year of banishment on the moon and efter thet she get hit wiht a rainbow and it's all sun shine and butterflyes for her and Celestia is completly happy thet her sister is back and not chare at all thet meanwhiel her sister spended 1000 year in the moon for a atempt to overtrowe her and kill EVERITHING ON THE PLANET COMPLETLY her children the human race spended thousad of thousand of years fighting suffering dying hardship and banishment from there home millions of light year becouse they started a war which coudn't realy happen becouse of the two stoped it befour it woud happen. 
(yeh I kinda raged a little whiel reading this even if I didn't judged this by the view of a human I woud say thet this is waaaaaaaaay to unfair what happend to the human race meanwhiel Celestia and Luna problably didn't chared why the humans become so greed filled you know nobody and I say NOBODY born as evil.)
tl;dr: Celestia and Luna is worst parent every in this fic and the humans shoud come back and after all the unneaded suffering they got for a realy small sin (Luna whanted to kill everithing wiht here eternal night whiel she whas NMM humans only whanted to be the dominant race) they shoud get back whats theirs.
1637660
Stay thirsty, my friend.
1637876
Thanks for your input!
1638087
Oh, now you're just being cruel. Is this a story leaning in the favor of humans or ponies? Or is that considered a spoiler?
1638152
Only time will tell.
1638087
Oh yes please don't keep us hanging I woudn't like thet humans woud get more punished in this story or anthing (but it's not my fan fic so eh you do what you think is best in your story) but I woud realy like to see them get justice and peace maybe open up Celestia and Luna eyes on there fail parenting methods and maybe become the loving responsible parrent's for humanity it's nead (I don't know what you think but in my opinion the trouble kid's only nead is realy love and charing from it's parents to become good agan becouse if you favourite one of your children to the harmy of a other and completly neglet the other then don't except thet kid thet it's love you and behave to you). Or humans get there justice by coming back and forecfully rip out there share from the word. Maybe since Celestia and Luna there parent's whas completly douches to them they try to seek out a new parent which love them maybe Discord is the caring father which the human race realy neaded? Or the human greed and hatred origin whas nothing more then the careful planing and manipulation of the chaos god to pull chaos on Equestria?
Come to think about it if corupting the humans whas Discord idea then I say it is a master plane first if the humans win then the land will be consumed by chaos what he whanted. And if it woudn't worked which happend then they woud be kicked to a unending suffering and hatred by being abadonded by there parent's which didn't see the corruption in there children and asume thet they are evil and then completly cut off any simpatetic feeling for them (agan realy worst parent's every a charing good parent if caught it's children doing drugs first priority woud be to make sure thet it's children woud be safe and monitored and helped and punished reasonably and be there for him/her to help get throught the addiction and second woud be too seek out the sorce of it ,the dealer and beat the every loving sh*t out from him/her to make sure it's children woudn't be treatened by the dealer corruption agan) portraying them in the human eyes as a evil noncharing enemy instead of loving parents. I mean what coud be more evily ,chaotic then turning a children or parent agans't each other and whatching them tearing each other apart? Which make me sad 
misanthropic HiE fic? Great, just great. you pretty stomped on all of the good things that Humanity has done.
This Is kindly why I believe We have so many haters for this group.
1638228
It better be humans.
Few wise words from me, a crtitic that would be considered a serial killer if handed a tool of death:
DON'T.HAVE.SUNSHINE.ENDING.
RAWR.
Also have humanity kick ass. Cuz that's we do (death glare at TCB)
1637598 Okay, so mabye I will stick around to see where it's going, as long as it doesn't go full out misanthropic. Sorry if I sound like a jerk, I'm just sick and tired of all the misanthropy on this site. Especially from the HiE fics.
Well I hope you all realize the history book was written by a pony, so it is indeed biased against humans...
Just wait guys, just wait.
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1638782
1637425
Please view 1640030
1637598 I was quoting an error. I think you meant to say Angel, not angle.
1640284
Oh celestia, that is rich. I'll be sure to fix that, ha ha.
1640030
God damn ponies.
Also I bet your last name is Disson
Is this gonna be one of those fics about how evil humanity is? Because if that's so, I'd like to tell you precisely how, why, and what sharp objects you can go fuck yourself with. Because seriously, misanthropes suck and should go read some goddamn Ayn Rand rather than subjecting us to their idiocy.
1643928
Dude, calm down, its just the first chapter.
Also you're implying my writing reflects my views on humanity.
Which it does not.
Just pour yourself a cup o tea and just wait.
1643928 also 1640030
will there be humans in this fict or just talk about them
Well, its a book written by a pony. Doesnt really mean its true.
So best thing is, to wait for the next chapters.
Too many people taking as fact a passage in a book written over 3000 years ago, by an unknown author, during a time that most couldn't write, and written by the victors.
One that also sounds horribly biased - "Punish ALL the humans, but not the griffins and dragons that nearly completely supported and helped."
Before the misanthropic title can be thrown around, we need to hear what actually happened in the story canon.
1648796
There definitely will be
1659620
Thank you
1661451
Thank you even more, you are a gentleman and a scholar
I think it would be cool for humanity to have felt neglected and that's why they waged war, the whole evil human thing is bringing me down but I'm interested I wont lie
1676976
Glad I aroused your interest
and their motives for "war" will be revealed in time
Also, I doubt 100% of humanity fought on the human side, it just doesn't seem likely to me. Seriously, it's about as likely as two races meeting and NOT fucking
. there would be at least some defectors on the pony side as well. remember this, and i'm glad they have a reason (even Nazi Germany had a reason, they were a very downtrodden people post WW1)
1841297
I'm finding a lot of intrest and potential in this story and I would love to continue reading more so please update!!
1845464
b)holiday season 
c)laziness 
] But I'll work on chapter 2 just for you right now! 
Sorry, been slacking, due to [a)finals
1859309
I feel special Thanks you
1859732
Due to your comment, as of the time of this comment being posted, I have written 366 words more to chapter 2.
Ohhhhhh I can't waite for the other chapters since I first read the 1 chapter of this story I realy whanted to know what will happen later.
Also Celestia Luna realy?
"Celestia put the lack of knowledge of the species aside, as if the questions and suspicions had never been there before. But somewhere, somewhere deep in her mind, in her deepest thought that was being blocked by something she could not control..."
Forgeting one of your child after ridiculisly punished compared to there sin them and banished them to ho know what kind of hostile planet and completly forget about them? Yep my statment is still there worst parents of the universe!
It seems a bit rushed, but thats obvious as why. My only concern is that you make humans, by nature, out to be an extremely evil race. Its unimaginative, and it is very frustrating when people dont put any thought into it and go "humans are evil, blah" all over the place... and I am "worried" you may be doing that with this, based on the "ominous" "humans are evil" being proclaimed with the first chapter... I brushed this off, thinking you may do something along the lines of "history is written by the victors" but I can see this going in that direction.
Please, I beg of you, dont become another dime a dozen author with this story. Dont be the author of whom people complain are filling the Human genre up with same-y crap. Come up with an interesting way to portray humans, because we are an interesting, diverse race. We are good, evil, neutral, isolationist, social, intelligent, thick skulled, helpful, and hurtful, all at the same time.
P.S. I decided that I couldnt be the only one complaining about this, and so I decided to look up the comments from the first chapter, which I never read, to see if you had responded. Im sated with "Well I hope you all realize the history book was written by a pony, so it is indeed biased against humans...
Just wait guys, just wait."
The ominousicity of this is only applified by this musical construct.
That said, this is looking good! A hearty wunderbar to you my friend!!!
"nearest convince"? I didn't know Twilight needed to convince Celestia to talk at her convenience....
1866629
Me:
1866620
I appreciate your feedback and your taste in music
1866343
What does he mean?)
Sometimes things are just out of their control (
1866643 You're welcome.
Ahem..might want to remove the Pony
On a completely related note, you don't have to reference other episodes of the show. It can create plot holes and it's unpleasant to read.
Also you should try to keep standing on the 'serious' part of writing. We are discussing a terrible secret from the past after all.
1866899
Thank you, but what do you mean by referencing other episodes and making plot holes?
1866931
Well not really plot holes, just really screwed up timelines. Say there is gonna be an episode about the mane 6 doing something at some point in the time that may be relevant to your story. And then if you are going to mention them doing that stuff in your story, you can create a plot hole because that stuff could either be really helpful to the conflict, or the characters in your story were doing something different than the characters in the official MLP storyline.
So unless they have some sort of pocket dimension that operates on a completely different timescale and events, then the official storylines events did not happen and you have created a paradox.
You may get confused while reading this so I will just sum it up:
Official MLP events badly collide with fanfiction events. Don't do them if you have a preset plot
1866989
The only episodes I plan on including/referencing are the Crystal Empire and the ones previous. I may mention terms used in later episodes, such as Saddle Arabia or Gesundhoof, but I don't plan on "integrating" episodes if that is what you mean.