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Troutking

Joined May 2012
90 followers

I am a guy, and that's about all there is to me.

Stories (3)

  • Remnants of the Crystal King
    Twilight discovers the journal of King Sombra, and the unexpected secrets within.

    7,246 words · 4,004 views · 184 likes · 10 dislikes
  • A Brand New Canvas
    An artist decides to join the royal guards.
    7,505 words · 150 views · 18 likes · 0 dislikes
  • Behind the Masks
    Twilight begins to see her friend's inner demons
    17,646 words · 359 views · 20 likes · 5 dislikes

Blog Posts (18)


Twilight discovers the journal of King Sombra, and the unexpected secrets within.

A special thanks to my editor Stereo_Sub for such amazing editting.

Also a thanks to Gela-G-I-S-Gela for the coverart

First Published
22nd Nov 2012
Last Modified
22nd Nov 2012

Comments ( 60 )

#1 · 93w, 6d ago · · 1 ·

DAT CLIFFHANGER!

#2 · 93w, 6d ago · · 1 ·

This may be a problem... Things are going downhill at this rate. Also I'm getting sick of well placed cliffhangers.

#3 · 93w, 1d ago · · ·

At this point I know that it is only a rough draft, but my inner Grammar/Spelling Nazi just dove off a cliff into a lake of death and hatred.

Anyways, past all the twerking and twitching I was doing... I love it. Stupendous. Bravo, well done, I enjoyed this. Now, CONTINUE THIS OR I WILL EAT YOUR BABIES! :flutterrage:

#4 · 92w, 5d ago · · 1 ·

Epic in no uncertain terms.

-Sturrn

#6 · 92w, 5d ago · · ·

love it :D

#7 · 92w, 5d ago · · ·

Oddly i had an thought of making an sad/tragic entry #0 from thos story

#8 · 92w, 5d ago · · 1 ·

Shit son, that's good. Real good.

#9 · 92w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1662188 {re-reader perks, BITCH! *dance*

Io
#10 · 92w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1643434

BORDERLANDS!!

#11 · 92w, 4d ago · · ·

Hot dam, that is dark. Way to make Sombra scary as hell.

#12 · 92w, 4d ago · · ·

Lol I like this :yay:

And Sombra Sparkle :trollestia:

#13 · 92w, 4d ago · · ·

:twilightoops: What has Twi gotten herself into this time?

#14 · 92w, 3d ago · · ·

This is pure gold and the ending lets the reader imagination go wild :rainbowwild:

9/10 might read again:pinkiehappy:

#15 · 92w, 3d ago · · ·
#16 · 92w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1662188

Peeps get first dibs son. :P

#17 · 92w, 1d ago · · 1 ·

Please, troutking, write another chapter or sequel sometime soon. Sombra is my favorite villain-type character and Twilight makes an amazing successor for him.

Isn't that right, Twilight? :twilightoops:

#18 · 92w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

>>1684170

now that you mention it actually..

I was planning on having two other chapters.

But Im prob going to do them only if people want me to do them.

So yah if you can get people to want more then go ahead.

I will be ready to write

#19 · 92w, 1d ago · · 1 ·

Amazing!:ajsmug:

#20 · 91w, 3d ago · · 1 ·

We Need moar !!!

#21 · 91w, 1d ago · · ·

DUN!! Dun! DUUUNNNN!!!!!!!

#22 · 90w, 1d ago · · 1 ·

must have more :D

#23 · 90w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1770934

I might make a sequal but first im perfecting this one to get on EqD

Thanks by the way

Io
#24 · 87w, 1d ago · 2 · 1 ·

Congrats, you got Featured on EQD

#25 · 87w, 1d ago · · 1 ·

Oh man that was awesome. Dat plot twist...

#26 · 87w, 1d ago · · ·

A truly great fanfic. You completely captured the essence of King Sombra and his further fall into darkness. Twilight was very interesting to follow and you made it very clear to see her corruption. My eyes were glued to the screen, a feat that a few can do. I congratulate you on this wonderful piece of writing.

Ezn
#27 · 87w, 1d ago · 2 · ·

I remember in A Brand New Canvas you wrote prose scenes and then rewrote/summarised them in letters. Here you've written journal entries and summarised them in prose.

Most of the prose bits I didn't like. The journal entries were interesting, but the scenes with Twilight smacked of doing the reader's thinking for them, and telling them how to feel ("Twilight was appalled because of the obvious reason why she would be apalled"). I suppose they served their purpose, nonetheless.

The exception is the last scene. Very nice twist. That just... oh man, that is really cool.

#28 · 87w, 1d ago · · ·

Entertaining read. Dialog was a bit cliche but no gripes aside from that. If there is a continuation of this story I will gladly read it. I'll leave you with this:

#29 · 87w, 1d ago · · ·

congrants on the EQD thing

#30 · 87w, 1d ago · · ·

WE WANT MOAR

#31 · 87w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1879927 THERES NO MORE!

#32 · 87w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1880519 OH COME ON MATE

#33 · 87w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1880753 I KNOW RIGHT?

I WISH THERE

WAS MORE

Comment posted by Field_Marshal_Luna deleted at 1:30pm on the 31st of December, 2012
Io
#35 · 87w, 1d ago · · ·
#36 · 87w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1880959 srsly?........ WOW

#37 · 87w, 1d ago · · ·

Twilight seriously in badass there in the ending. Twilight who rules the world? With dark magic and stuffs? I know Twilight has gone bad or corrupt, but for some reason I like Dark-Influenced Twilight. I can give a 10/10 on this one...

#38 · 87w, 1d ago · · ·
#40 · 87w, 19h ago · · ·

>>1662188 Haven't seen you in a while Regidar! How've ya been? Still stalking everybody in FIMfiction?

#41 · 87w, 19h ago · · 1 ·

>>1882795 Silently, per knighty's request. :ajsleepy:

#43 · 87w, 8h ago · · ·

>>1879000

This, pretty much.

#44 · 86w, 5d ago · 1 · 1 ·

more

#45 · 86w, 5d ago · 1 · 1 ·

>>1684213

YES PLZ  WRITE MORE

#46 · 86w, 20h ago · 1 · 1 ·

we want more plz don't be like this

this is just so painfull to read plz write more

#47 · 85w, 4d ago · · ·

And I don't think MOAR is needed. It's perfectly fine as it is. Leaves room for thought and fantasy. Although if you do decide to continue it, then by all means, be my guest :ajsmug:

#48 · 85w, 2h ago · 2 · ·

This was okay, really. Neither spectacular nor mediocre.

The twist was obvious at least by the halfway point of the story, if not before then. That wouldn't have been so bad had the setup for the twist been entertaining, but it really wasn't; I found it, and the story on a whole, boring and repetitive. This thing really should have been longer and delved into her consciousness and identity slowly breaking down due to the book's influence. If you decide to do something like that in a later work, you'll definitely want to work on your prose to make it less telly. Just saying she was upset by him being evil but then saw some wisdom in his ideas and kept reading is dull, especially when repeated so often. We need to experience the psychology.

On the subject of the book: the entries seemed more like memoirs (who writes evil plans into a book after they've come to fruition? Wouldn't it have made more sense for him to have planned out his schemes in the journal as he wrote them? Also, who signs their own journal? It's like writing a reminder to yourself in second-person and signing it) and the beginning of his writing seemed rather arbitrary (wouldn't he write about his discovering the crystals and the stuff they taught him? Again, wouldn't he have used the journal to plan out his takeover?). A related problem to this is the lack of explanation as to the beginning of his fall from grace. What's up with these seemingly alive crystals he was talking to? Where are they? Did they take over his mind? Why didn't he write anything about them? All we got is an implication of feelings of jealousy/inadequacy (that's it? Really?), which I'm not convinced he would feel given he's a highly intelligent magician.

On the dark side, he does some rather heinous stuff here and the twist was perfectly in character. There are a number of good ideas here, to be sure.

Don't let my judgment discourage you too much. Keep writing, and may your next works be much better than this one.

#49 · 84w, 6d ago · · ·

>>1964181

Thanks for the review man

I kinda see what your talking about now that I reread my work and I promise I will work to improve them IF I do a sequel.

Also concerning the last few question involving the crystals, childhood and the journal.

1. He was quite egotistical so he would write his name various times just to see it

2. The journal was started when he took over the kingdom as little reminders to himself to enjoy if he feels nostalgic

3. No one starts out as a great magician

4. The crystals speaking are spoilers which will be better explained if I do a sequel

5. His jealousy which i'm assuming towards his brother stems from childhood when he wasn't strong

Also thanks for the compliment on my Sombra!

Alright well I better get to work since I now see alot of faults...

I swear I dont understand why they accepted this in to EqD now...

Alright bye

Signed, Troutking

#50 · 82w, 3d ago · 3 · ·

Ja, we're screwed.

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