Age:14 Favorite pony: Rainbow Dash That's all you need to know.
Twilight Sparkle had been planning to try a new spell. But, it goes all so wrong. And the results are far from good. What was supposed to be a simple universal travel spell has them ending up in a dark twisted world beyond their wildest nightmares. ( Special thanks to deviant Riygan for letting me use his characters. Go check out his work, he's awesome. http://riygan.deviantart.com/gallery/)
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portals 101.........was it written by Chell...?
intresting...
Slow down there champ
I think you've got a great story here but too much is happening in too few words. Try fleshing things out a bit more, it makes for a more pleasant reading experience. 
Other than that, I am enjoying this greatly! If that image is anything to go by then the mane six are in for a surprise.
To be honest this chapter was way too short to give an opinion.
I like the idea for the plot though and I hope you work it out well.
iambrony.jsmart.web.id/mlp/gif/mlfw3915-3203264_12ca5656e73dfd3f1693be40183363e9.gif
But I am liking it so far. However expanding it more would make it better.
So please, continue...
1562774 Don't worry. I promise that the next chapter will have a HUGE improvement.
OOOOOOHHH 1 LOV3 TH1S SO F4R!
1563581 If by huge you mean longer then I say good idea.
People don't like stories that go too fast that much.
Why are you so good at horror. I want to look away but I can't!
Why are they so quick to lose hope? They've had worse before, haven't they? Also, I wonder how long it'll take before they too become corrupted.
Poor Dash, she's always the first to die. I assume that the others will meet their end at the hooves of their counterparts as well?
1567930 Indeed
1567927 they won't be corrupted.
1567216 That's the best compliment I have ever received, thanks!
RAINBOW DASH WHATS WRONG?! DASH! DASHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Great scene, but I can not finish this is the 5th story TODAY where RD the Best perishes.
1570968 I know. Rainbow Dash is best pony. But, I just had to get somepony, I'm having quite some difficulty with AJ's death, and I feel like Pinkamena VS Zalgressa should be pushed back a bit more further.
Holy shit, this is good. Keep it up.
Mother of God....... Amazing!
Just how I like it, bloody and merciless
I like the idea but if it was written by me I think it will only be Twilight and Rainbow together going into different universes. Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Fluttershy, and maybe Applejack are not adventure types. I was going to write something like this and maybe I will still but I'm just saying
I can't stop reading this. I love it!
1578201 there with you but...um...I'm not sure I like it though but for some reason I can't stop
1567216
My thoughts exactly
You know, reading about my favorite pony getting slaughtered was easier to read than I thought
We found this amusing...
We found this amusing...
well, another good chapter of course, but it seemed like this one hasn't as much 'soul' and 'love' as the others, it's kinda emotionless, no offense.
It is still a good chapter
1637920 I had to write this chapter with a headache, so sorry about the decrease in quality. Probably not the best decision I've ever made.
my 'alternate universe me' killed Zalgy Cake? me gusta
So, Zalgy Cake lost, but Pinkie as well... Leaving Stone to kill two ponies... DAMN IT STONE! YOU UNFAIR PLAYER!
This gon be good.
short is okay, as long as they're well written, like the rest of the chapters
Cooool
I'm not sure whether to cry or to laugh
1647358 Why?
[youtube=PK8vRykx2hI]
kinda has a sad atmosphere in it...
Dark ending is dark, and very well done
We cannot wait for the last ending
Hmm, can't decide which ending is better...
1647411
I listened to this while writing.
cdn.derpiboo.ru/thumbs/1500/800/2012/09/23/23_03_55_664_105087__UNOPT__safe_scootaloo_caption_transparent_awesome
1649290 Awwwww, thanks!
To be honest I like this so much I really would love to see a sequel.If enough people vote on it of course.:)
1649887 Well, I plan on doing just that. If it get's popular enough of course.
I dunno, this one's a bit dull when compared to the other's deaths. Dimmed Star's a necromancer of sorts, right? Why didn't you play around with that? Have her kill Twilight, then bring her back for more suffering
Anyway, I liked this story.
1650179
Okay Cool.:)
1648711 I listened to the Soundtrack while reading that chapter... and listened to this while reading THIS one
[youtube=toAWvBd7FXY]
kinda of sets the mood...
With your double endings, one is usually good and the other depressing. This is an exception. I wish I knew how to spell exception.
1651007 Well, i didn't say exactly what happened to Twilight right?
1651624 But, I'm gonna have a bit of a problem writing it though seeing as how the mane 6 are already killed.
1654612 How about they enter the mane 6 universe and pretty much conquer or destroy it?
1654684 Hmm, could work.
1654703 Yeah but it would have to be planned,you know just saying.