Dr. Atmosphere's memoir

by Rarity Belle

The aftermath.

So here we are once again. I suppose it is time to tell to the outside world, how we did it. This is not going to be pretty at all.

I remember the very day that we tried the machine for the first time as if it was yesterday. The first time those shiny, new gears turned themselves around, the first time the chains went down and up. I was amazed, my vision, had become a reality!

We were ready, we could do it. And we did it. The powerful device was ready. It was more than ready to make rainbows out of pegasi who failed their tests. Those who have been labeled as unworthy of being part of the pegasi race. Load by load were they brought in. Each of them was terrified for their little lives as they should and would soon realize.

I watched from a distance was it all happened, how my little Dashie spoke towards them all. Her way of talking indulged them with fear and when the device was turned on, it only got better. But my nightmares had only began. And I was foolish enough not to realize it.

One single pegasi, was good for two kinds of spectra, red and the color of their coat. All what I remember of making it into a rainbow is that the ‘pure spectra’ needed to be separated from all the waste in the blood. How this process has been done however, I do not remember sadly enough and I think that by now they changed the ways of it anyway.

More, more I can tell about the creation of rainbows, for I just want to forget it. But the images are forevermore burned on my retina. Years I have tried to forget it and the only reason why I told this here, today, is in the vague hope it finally leave my mind. Probably will not however.

---

It still surprises me to the day that nopony has found the facility and that in its time not even princess Celestia came to inspect and thus witnessed its horrors. My staff thought about it since she saw the rainbows, she was happy and didn't need to know the story behind them.

Rumor spread around that she does know about the horrors we did but she does not interfere for it would mean the extinction of the rainbows for her magic is not powerful enough to raise and the sun and the moon and create the rainbows. Poor mare that she is. Banishing her own flesh and blood away, in the blink of an eye.

---

During my time here in this cabin here in ‘noponyland’, as I gave it the nickname a long time ago, I have been trying to forget it. But in dreams it just keeps returning like a sledgehammer. There have been times where I was planning to end it all, but simply just couldn't. It was either my own stupidity or bravery that kept me going. At the cost of my, so little, healthy mind.

I, I haven’t been one hundred perfect honest before. I did saw Rainbow Dash as my daughter yes. But the more time I spend here, the more I came to realization what I have done. I did not raise a daughter in love and caring. I raised a daughter to become a monster! A monster unseen like anything, lurking on its friends, hidden in plain sight before deadly yet silently wounding them, leaving them for dead and thus for the crushing gears of the device.

I had made plans to kill my Dashie yes, I won’t be able to deny that. I made them all the time, in my head, on paper. But I never, ever had the courage to just leave the safety of my four walls and do it. I just couldn't. Not after what I did. The reach of the weather department goes deep. Ponies could recognize me for who I was and start to ask questions, it, it was something, it was a risk I was not willing to take. Not after everything what has happened to me, to her.

But as I soon would realize, time caught up with me, my joints became stiffer and my coat older. I was getting old. I could deny it all I want, but I was old. So I left the plans alone, hidden deep inside of me and the ones written down somewhere where I can not find them anymore.

---

Now I have to admit, most of those plans are downright stupid and the chance of succeeding was slim. I gave up on killing her in the end What point would it make in the first place? They would find a replacement for her, probably find out I did it and I get banished to the moon or something like that.

So years of mental suffering caused by my own delusive ideas, taken the innocent life of a young filly and killed thousands of pegasi... The question is, why am I still here? Because I am too scared to go outside? Because they do not know? Just, just some of the questions that race through my head every single day. I can take this no longer, I am on the brink of another collapse, my last collapse. The ‘shattering’, it is something only myths speak about, but it a mind is so tormented and things kept being added, when a pony collapse, the mind can be heard shattering. Something I truly deserve.

---

What I am writing now, is a couple days after what is said above, I, I am broken. I am truly broken now... The mailmare came and delivered the newspaper, and what I saw in that, is, is, is unspeakable even by my standards.

My little Dashie, has been killed. Slaughtered by the hooves of a pink earth pony mare. Rumors say she was turned into a cupcake or something. My little daughter, became a baked treat! A treat everypony can eat nonetheless! I have been reading that article for hours, crying my eyes out every single time... I, I can not take this any longer. It is time for me, to be able to rest in peace as well. I hope that my Dashie, and maybe the world, can forgive me for my actions.

‘Life is cruel, why should the hereafter be any different...’

The time had come, to find that out...

~Dr. Atmosphere

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[Rarity Belle]

1574551>>1551180>>1548379 Second and final chapter is up and running. ~Rarity