Short stories about ponies and the things that happen to them, or don't.
Helper: Spike finishes the last of a long series of days helping Rarity with her chores. [Romance] [Slice of Life]
Court Song: Lyra, the court musician of Canterlot Castle, is first-hoof witness to an unprecedented event. [Alternate Universe] [Dark-ish (maybe?)]
Cumuliform: Rainbow Dash stumbles into a sudden existential panic. Clouds. [Slice of Life]
A Quiet Cave: Rumble returns to a small, dark cave, intent on nursing a wounded friend back to health. [Sad] [Dark]
The Snow Is Falling: Derpy finds a familiar friend in the form of winter. The caress of the cold is bittesweet. [Tragedy] [Slice of Life] (This might technically count as a prose-poem).
Darkness In the Sky: A reflection on Luna and the spirit of her guilt. (Another prose-poem). [Dark]
Party: Years have gone by. Pinkie Pie throws a party. Written for the /fic/ mini-fic writeoff For Old Times Sake. [Dark]
The Ocean and the Clouds: On a cliff by the sea, Derpy reflects. Inspired by Dubliners. Written for the /fic/ mini-fic writeoff For Old Times Sake. [Sad]
Inspired by Cold in Gardez's Shorts.
Your short description Darf. And a story NOT labeled Mature? That's... refreshing, coming from you.
Hrm... I like. But... I'm having trouble putting my finger on what's bothering me about this chapter. Something's off and I'm struggling to figure out what.
My best guess is that, despite it being contrary to the whole concept of brevity, it could use a bit more elaboration at points. Overall though, I rather like it
daaaaaamn, the feels are strong
That ending.... This is such a great, well thought out story, Darf.
This. I like this.
Seriously. Only you, darf, could write such a thought provoking story in only about a thousand words. You're awesome!
This is the first of these stories I read, because I have a long, ongoing RumbleLoo fic and I figured I might as well see what you did with it.
Scootaloo being dead the whole time and Rumble being too naive/afriad to accept it was quite the twist.
Now I shall add this to my "read later" list so that I can read the other ones...Later. Because this one hit me hard-ish and I'm afraid to look at the others.
Wtf I started to cry reading this. Poor scoots. :'(
This was very well done, but you killed Luna.
2643493 Don't worry about the other ones they're fine.
2643874 Besides Celestia going apeshit and Luna dying at Lyra's hands?
...
On second thought, that was better, because it was fucking awesome.
Oh, Mr. darf, is the "incomplete" status a mistake or is more planned?
2643890
jesus christ dude
spoiler your stuff :/
and it's 'incomplete' 'cause i might do more later
How come every time I come into this site I always see a Darf story in the new story list.
Great stories by the way. This one made me cry, and that is great
Dash closed the door behind her, took a deep breath, and looked up.
Celestia had already set her quill down, and was making a show of levitating her pile of scrollwork off to one side of the desk. "Rainbow Dash," she said, eyes bright, smile genuine, tone sincere. "It's so wonderful to see you."
"Yeah," Dash said, rubbing the back of her neck with a hoof, heat rising in her cheeks. What had she been thinking? "Thanks. For the audience, I mean."
"I would do the same for any pony who had saved Equestria multiple times," Celestia said with droll understatement, "but that's not why I'm happy to see you here. I hear so much about you from Twilight's letters, and I've enjoyed the times we've chatted. I had been hoping I would someday get the chance to speak with you more personally. Tea?" She gestured to the sideboard by the door, where a pitcher of iced orange-brown liquid sat, sides glistening with condensation.
Dash suddenly placed the scent of orange-blossom and herb and sugar her earlier breath had hinted at. Her mouth watered. Sweetened Qilinese citrus tea. Her favorite —
No. Focus.
She drew in another breath of sweet distraction, and exhaled deliberately, the scent clinging to the inside of her nostrils. "No. Um. No thank you, Your Highness. Actually, um … I just came to ask you something."
Celestia caught and held her gaze, resting elbows on table and muzzle on forehooves, an easy smile on her face, her mane gently floating in some intangible wind. "Of course. What can I do for you?"
Dash stared back — feeling intensity tighten her forehead and twitch at the corners of her mouth. One of Celestia's eyebrows quirked up several degrees: a silent statement of curiosity — an invitation to confide — maternal and welcoming — an impossible wealth of emotion for a simple muscular shift. Then her smile broadened, making Dash feel as if they were sharing a private joke.
It was utterly disarming. Dash almost laughed, and couldn't quite keep a smile from her muzzle. She gave into it as gracefully as she could, flashing teeth, then cleared her throat behind the mask of a hoof, and blurted out:
"Do you know what day it is?"
Celestia's expression froze.
It was only for a moment, but it was unmistakeable. Her face went perfectly blank, the smile tightening into pleasant insincerity, and in that moment her eyes were a mirror in the fearsome, featureless frame of her face, and Dash saw herself writ larger than she had ever imagined she might become.
"Of course," Celestia said before Dash could fully process the thought. The mirror cracked. Her smile relaxed. "It's Haypril 3. Two weeks past Spring Equinox. Three days before the Robins' Ball. The ninth birthday of the gryphon ambassador's daughter. The anniversary of the founding of Fillydelphia. The traditional start date of the Rose Fair in the Canterlot outdoor markets — even though they pushed it back this year due to some late-scheduled spring storms."
Dash stared mutely, heart thudding in her breast. She had seen it. For that split second, she'd seen it.
Celestia's smile fell. She stood and paced to the window, staring out into the courtyard. The room fell into an uneasy silence, punctuated by the regular shouts and hoof-falls of a Guard drill far below.
At length, Celestia asked softly, "What day is it, Rainbow Dash?"
Dash walked up to the window, staring down at the ponies marching in formation.
"I don't know," she said.
Off to one side of the courtyard, a mare and her foals were sitting on the grass, eating lunch and watching the drills. The youngest filly was squealing excitedly, pointing at one of the stallions in armor, and marching up and down the grass at the edge of the practice yard with exaggerated swings of her hooves.
"But it was Wednesday yesterday," Dash added. "I'm pretty sure. I was talking to Applejack. That's what she said."
Something touched Dash's back. She almost leapt out of her skin before she realized that it was Celestia's wing, resting gently on the crest of her spine, curling maternally around her side. She drew in a tense breath and sidled in underneath the shelter of the princess' feathers.
"I don't know either," Celestia said.
Dash knew. But it still helped to hear it.
"But Wednesday's just a name, Rainbow Dash," Celestia continued. "It's a way of parceling up time, trying to force it into the little boxes of our lives. Weekdays are a very Twilight way of thinking about time, aren't they?"
"Heh," Dash said. "Yeah."
"So, Rainbow Dash, what happened yesterday?"
Down below, the guards halted at a shouted command, reversed direction, and marched toward the grass. The filly squealed, dashed out onto the hard-packed dirt, and hugged the leg of a soldier. He staggered to a halt, trying to dislodge her, and the formation bunched and broke.
"I. Uh. Talked to Applejack. Had Twilight send a scroll to the castle. Packed my things. Thought about flying here and sleeping in Canterlot overnight. Thought about cancelling and not coming at all. Went to bed and told myself I'd see how I felt in the morning. Couldn't sleep. Got up before dawn and watched the sun rise mid-flight. Although I guess that was today."
The drill sergeant was screaming in the soldier's face. He was standing rigid — if slightly askew, with the filly clinging to his leg — and staring out into the distance. The mare on the grass was cringing apologetically, beckoning the filly back.
"What about you?" Dash asked.
The filly finally disentangled herself from the soldier's leg and shuffled back to the grass, head drooping. The soldier snapped a salute to the drill sergeant, red-faced, and began galloping around the perimeter of the exercise yard.
"I had dinner with my sister," Celestia said. "Mixed nuts and imported dried sweetfruits on a bed of chilled steamed dandelion greens." She waved a hoof, sunlight gleaming off of the golden solleret. "Also signed a treaty that will shape our relationship with the gryphon kingdoms for a generation, negotiated a budget that will keep the wheels of Equestria grinding for another decade, hosted a groundbreaking lecture on magical theory at Canterlot University, and won my annual game with the national lapides grandmaster. But, you know. Usual stuff. Hardly worth mentioning."
Dash looked up at Celestia's muzzle. The gentle smile was back.
"And dinner with Luna was?" she asked.
Celestia's lips curled into an impish grin. "It was a very nice dinner."
"The sort of dinner you'll remember in thirty years?" Dash pressed.
"No," Celestia said.
Dash sighed, turning her gaze back to the window. Down in the courtyard, the mare on the grass gave her filly a hug.
"But I'll remember that I enjoyed it," Celestia added quietly. "And sometimes that's enough."
2643891 I'm a fucking idiot.
But all is well now! Mankind and ponykind alike saved by the great Spoiler.
Now in order to make this comment worth something, I must say that I'm quite excited for further 1-3k wordiness.
I enjoyed this one, a short simple piece regarding Spike and a potential outcome of what might become of his over zealous attitude to do every bit of Rarity's bidding. But it does leave me wondering what you might be implying with that ending. Had you said that she leaned against the door and sighed I might imagine that she feels sympathetic and guilty towards the poor dragon working himself to the bone for her sake, but you didn't. You said she smiled, and that question will linger for more than a moment. Why would she smile? Perhaps she finds it cute that he would go to such great lengths for her? Maybe there's a legitimate return of affections not being overtly stated. Could it have been one of those sarcastic grins we get from time to time as we recall something horrible we've done or are doing that eventually lead to some deep soul-searching and posing of morality based questions? Is this the Element of Generosity's singular act of selfishness? Keeping the one she loves in the dark, but just close enough to make out his silhouette without ever granting herself the privilege of touching him? Questions for pondering, but I can't find the exit.
Loathe,
Your Antagonist
You're using opening quotation marks as apostrophes for "'em" and "'specially"; you should be using closing quotation marks.
That should be "thirty years' worth", with an apostrophe.
Oh, goddammit.
You know those times when you read something and you don't really think about it until the most inopportune time?
I got thinking about this story again. In bed. On a school night.
Aaargh, I'm conflicted as to whether Rumble is clingy and desperate or just delusionally childish. I want to see this story played out further. Longer. I would kill to see Rumble break down further from guilt, shame, naivety.
It won't happen, but hey...
But yeah. Nothing like getting lost into thought about a story when you're lying in bed trying to sleep. Somebody turn on the fucking Tears for Fears.
I liked this chapter, though commas litter it in odd places. Still, good read.
2643841 Canterlot may be glad that it was Luna who was killed. If we consider that Luna tends to overreact and we set Celestia's behavior as a standard one for the situation, chances are that Luna would simply wipe the whole city away from face of Equestria just to be sure she got the murderer
Impressive. I did consider the possibility of her being the culprit at first, but the sentences:
created some confusion and ultimately made me reject the possibility, given that she was apparently expressing her honest thoughts to the reader up until then. I considered the first sentence to be her honest opinion and I thought the second one was there to merely make her look fair. It seems I was not careful enough. Excellent choice of words! Well played!
Also, I found a little mistake:
It seems "the" should become "then".
Meant to comment on this story before! They're all very dense, for being as short as they are. #2 and #4 are straightforward, but well-executed. Rumble's panic and denial are easy to identify with, and I'd like to hear more about the kind of Lyra you portray here.
#3 is thought-provoking, but I had trouble identifying with Dash's concerns. Maybe I just manage to fill up my life in the same way as Applejack? It reminds me of the Pink Floyd song Time--the prospect of looking back and not knowing what your life was spent doing is a horrifying one.
#1 is the one I understand the least, mostly because I can't get into Rarity's head. I think I need to reread it a few times and muse some more. The only thing I can think is that Rarity seems to put a lot of effort into giving Spike things to do for her.
2644037
This little piece of fanfic-fanfic added a ton to #3 for me, and got me thinking about it on a deeper level. Well done!
I didn't see that one coming.
Gosh, Darf, with this and Upon a Grey Cloud, you really do love killing Derpy don't you?
I can't complain.
My heart can. And my brain.
Because now I'll find it tough to sleep.
I... Was unsure of whom this was about and now I find this story to be a bit more saddening....?
aaaaand i'm crying again X'C
this was so good, so perfectly written XD
Beautiful in this trademark melancholic way of yours. I find it interesting how there is not a single serious hint about the mare's identity inside the text itself. This adds to the poetic atmosphere, somehow...
I suppose it was directly inspired by this particular short?
2734766
not at all. while i like CiG and his short stories, i found that one to be offensively cloying and overdone in its attempt at emotion. i favour subtlety whenever it is available.
i just think there's something beautiful about the snow, and for some reason, a pony falling into it spoke to me in ways i wasn't sure how otherwise to articulate. i'm not sure why Derpy (i think the bubble mark, pegasus, and 'grey' are enough clues, but i suppose that's up for debate) was the mare of choice, but maybe as IBP said above, i have a fascination with her misery. i feel some sort of connection to her in that regard.
maybe we all wish we could let the snow or rain wash away our lives. maybe just not as drastically as Derpy has here.
2734773
I can see that the theme is different in your short, what I was basically wondering was whether you picked up the idea of snow being the story's focus by CiG. You said yourself that you always favoured the idea though, so you didn't.
You are right about Derpy, it makes quite a lot of sense for her to suffer from misery. Stories that explore this concept are probably the ones which give the most depth to her supposed character. Although, I haven't seen too many stories of this sort... I am glad someone like you has made use of this concept, because you do it really well.
As for letting snow or rain wash away our lives...if only it were that simple.
Beautiful, but too subtle for me at the end. "The red seems almost like an insult."--this comes out of nowhere, and we never find out what happened. Did she impale herself on a tree deliberately? Was she already bleeding before she came there? Even if I never know just why she killed herself, I'd like to at least know how she did it--I mean, physically, what happened.
2793269
i usually favour ambiguity in poetry rather than directness, though sometimes at the loss of the message. it's something i'm working on. that said:
the giveaway is in this bit.
glad you liked it despite the shift.
2793276 the giveaway is in this bit.
the giveaway is in this bit
I do not think that word means what you think it means.
2793324
well geez, if you want me to spell it out for you, you're not gonna have any fun
I love the simplicity of this chapter. It covers how much Spike is devoted to bringing forth joy in Rarity's life by wooing himself to such great lengths. The ending left me thinking about Rarity though... Does she have similar feelings for Spike as well? Or is she just happy that he is merely attempting so much to win her heart? All in all, this is a great chapter and I hope to read many more like it. Good job, Darf.
...and now I've favorited this. I hope you're proud of yourself.
Oh look this story again
But on the subject of this chapter, I really liked the way that it read, not so much a story but more as a poetic vignette. Brilliant imagery, and not naming any names was a good move too, makes this stick out among all the stories about Luna's banishment.
Darf delivers yet again.
You are some kind of word wizard! Why the crap are you writing horsefiction?
Excessive ornament.
Was this supposed to feel post-apocalyptic?
The last mare on earth and the party that never ends.
These new chapters are most satisfactory.
2972573
stop changing your avatar
2972710 Never! I will remain as unidentifiable as possible!
I like this one.
For quite a long time I was wondering if this has the same theme as A quiet cave or if it is a postapocalyptic madness. But I guess it is "How Party of one could have ended" For me the last sentence was the darkest part.
Ubuhhhhh
A little too mysterious. We don't know if there's been an apocalypse, or everypony hates Pinkie. But even if we knew... all we have here is that Pinkie is crazy. No whys or therefores.
I didn't comment on this before, but I really like this story. I get this feeling sometimes; not the day of the week thing, but the feeling of "what am I doing with my life?"
Fortunately, I long since arrived at the solution, even before I started asking myself what day it was. It is just easy to forget sometimes.
I reviewed the following stories in this collection:
- Helper
- Court Song
- Cumuliform
The reviews can be found here.
Dangit, the last line killed this. D:
Surprised this wasn't published on its own. I wonder why.