I am not contained between my hat and my boots.
The Writers' Group56,418 stories ·9,294 members
One-Shots18,920 stories ·2,369 members
Gilda711 stories ·954 members
Villains of Equestria3,419 stories ·1,808 members
Completed Story Compendium21,058 stories ·1,701 members
Authors Helping Authors8,593 stories ·2,462 members
The real Gilda comes to Ponyville... but she doesn't get the welcome she was expecting. For some reason, everypony seems to already hate her... Will she ever find a place where her and her half-pony daughter can live in peace?
Also read:
Last Impression by Typoglyphic -- A wonderfully dark and morally ambiguous short story about what happened to Changeling Gilda.
Page generated in 0.278 seconds
Total duration
973 users online
1,347,975 hits today, 1,872,792 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Finally time to go big-time and publish this fic for real!
(Now that I finally got my automatic .rtf to BBcode formatting process figured out, woohoo!)
Be sure to tell me what you think. And don't be gentle! It's my first time ^.^
*Eyes word count*
Did you do that on purpose?
Meh, either way, reading.
1542672
What else would you expect from a fic published on Haloween?
Its called a hippogryph a half horse half griffon
*Finishes reading*
Perfection.
Good job. This deserves a sequel
1542723
Oh, I know.
If you read it, you'll see I used that term.
(Though I spelled it hippogriff, consistent with the MLP spelling of griffon.)
1542750 why you no put that in description then ?
Wow... perfection, huh?
Not bad for a first try!
(No plans at all for a sequel right now though. ... but if I should happen to get some plot ideas from the comments I might be tempted to! ^.^)
done reading cute story
yay hoopla
1542754
It didn't fit nicely in a short description... and not everybody knows that a hippogriff is half-pony, half-griffon, so saying half-pony instead makes it clear to everyone.
Meh... at any rate, it gets the point across.
Too much happiness can not fight it. This is definitely how it should be in the show. Season three Gilda not really evil.
CHANGELINGS, it is always the changelings.
Why the hell would gilda acept the apogolize of rainbow dash? Thats some crap, she deserved all the hate, the worst is that i expect something like that from dash, thats why she is the only mane 6 i do HATE.
good read
1542935
Thanks!
1542906
She could have rejected the apology and kept on fighting (her uncharitable look as it was offered suggests she wanted to reject it)... But then the town would continue hating her, and she wouldn't succeed in her reason for coming to the town for the first place.
All she wanted was a safe, accepting place for her daughter, and she realized that rejecting that apology wasn't the way to get that.
(In a nutshell, her motivation to find a good place for her daughter overcame her motivation to get even with Dash.)
1542818
I know right! ^.^ This is my take on how Gilda might not be a bad griffon after all.
Yes, changlings are the answer! The answer to making evil, good!
Slight awkwardness durring some of the senes with gilda and gloria, as perspective seemed to change a bit, but otherwise a well written, enjoyable story.
1542982
Ah, hmm... I did try to keep the perspective shifts as clear as possible... But it is true that I shifted around a lot... probably more than really necessary.
Glad you still enjoyed it though! ^.^
Personally, I think you did a great job for you first fic.
The idea is well executed, and overall the characters reactions are believable (I was gong to say that maybe the kids were a little too harsh with Gloria, but then I remembered that kids are dicks).
I totally see Rarity as the pony thats trying to help Gilda fit again.
Well, as Annaila said, the changes between Gilda and Gloria "scenes" seemed a little abrupt (for example, you got Gilda running away from Applejack, then we switch to Gloria in the school, and then we get back to Gilda and she is confronting the Doctor), but since this was a one-shot fic, I think it's understable, but I think it's something to keep in mind, specially if your planning to write longer fics.
Also, maybe Gloria got figured out the changeling thing a little too fast (I don't remember anypony saying, at least in front of them, that Gilda was there before), after all, that misunderstanding is what forces Gilda to go through all that trouble in the first place.
But anyway, this is just my critique attempt, since I never have gave one before (I know right?).
So I hope it helps you, keep the good job.
On a side note:
(Don't pay attention to my dirty mind)
I wonder exactly why changeling Gilda, from all the ponies, wanted Rainbow Dash as a love source?
1543136
^.^ Original outline called for Fluttershy... but then I remembered, A) Fluttershy's terrified of Gilda, and B) Everybody's story has Fluttershy taking in the newcomer... So, I ended up trying to think who else might.
I-de-aaaa! Rarity's available, and she has motivation to: they were intolerably rude to Gilda at her own welcome party! Rarity would want to make amends for that. ^.^
Rainbow's out of the question, and didn't want to use Applejack; that would mess up her later scene.
But then I was like..
True... I was thinking that a bit sudden as well when I reread it. Though other ponies have said that Gilda was here before... Rainbow's first line, for one.
I'm glad I was able to get that across without stating it blatantly ^.^
I really like this story, most of the time I pay little attention to one-shots because of the way I read (which is obsessively), I'm normally one to go for longer stories but this won me over.
The premise is kept simple, the characters are good, and the ending was exactly what I was hoping for. I was SO glad to see Gilda being portrayed as a good character without being made into someone completely different for the purposes of justifying it. I also think it was refreshing to find a story in which changelings were not near-infallible in their disguises, because, if anything, what the changeling invasion of Canterlot proved, they are not. Otherwise they wouldn't need to invade.
Anyway, great story, and I have to say, I would love to see more of Gilda and Gloria in the future (I know it's unlikely, but one can hope).
If I could I would add you to my watch list but I can't, because it doesn't work.
This was a pretty brilliant idea! It makes perfect sense.
I have to say I was hoping for the story to go more into the whole changling accusation. I mean there was not any proof of this. Knowing how Twilight is, I would kind of expect her to investigate that. It pretty much felt like you hit the delete button on Fluttershy, Applejack and Pinkie by the end of it.
It would have been great to know how things turned around for Glida and Gloria in more detail.
All in all, It was good.
Thank you for using your time to write and share it with us.
I demand a sequel.
1553669
Yeah... I do see that as the weakness of the story now.
No plans to revise though; I'm on to other things!
And yeah... I did hit the delete button on a few of the mane 6...
It's a short one-shot with non-mane-6 leading characters... There just isn't room to fully involve them all.
So, yeah, Pinkie gets completely ignored, Twilight, Applejack, and Fluttershy become minor characters... and Rainbow gets to be the antagonist. ^.^ ... gotta admit though, she fits that role well!
1546076
1557103
Sequel?
More of Gilda & Gloria?
*le sigh*
Okay, I might... need to come up with plot ideas though.
I mean, trying to finish convincing the rest of the town to accept them would do for a while... but what after that?
Hm... maybe Gloria could get a cutie mark...
1564563 Please do continue. You could detail her adventures/misadventures with the CMC and explore the real gilda more. Maybe bring in the changeling gilda and her affect on the real gilda's life? (Identity theft is a bitch.) maybe explor how gloria came to be, who the father is, how her family/friends reacted. maybe she meets ditzy/derpy seeing as she was in a similar situation with dinky. Also hippogriffs are awsome.
1568948
Okay, you've convinced me.
A sequel to this story is now officially on my list of future fic ideas.
Already got two very different ones in the pipeline though, and they'll be finished before I even think about starting a sequel here.
1569018 Well it'll be awhile but... YES YES YES YES YES
1569018
so awesome! I would love to read it XD. I also like the fact that this is one of very rare fics that have Gilda being a parental figure.
I wonder if she'll interact with Fannon (my headcanon) Derpy/Ditzy doo family (minus the doctor)... I think it be something of interest.
hope you don't run into heavy writer's block XD
1589034
Oh yes... If I write a sequel, Derpy & Dinky are very likely to make an appearance, seeing as how they're my favorite mother/daughter pair, and also the only fanon single mom I can think of. ... Not to mention that Derpy knows a thing or two about being thought little of by the public as well.
Oh, and don't worry about writer's block. I never have it.
Love it, it's amazing. Written to perfection in my eyes, and I've always like griffons :)
so you are going to make a sequel about this are you
1670587
Due to popular demand, yes I'm planning a sequel.
1633070
My next story will involve griffons as well, though not in so major a role.
1676513
I would definitely read a sequel, no questions asked. Also, if there is anything I can help with, don't hesitate to ask.
1680073
Well, it will be quite some time before a sequel for this one... I've got much more exciting (to me anyway) ideas to get done first.
1680656
I'll stick around, read them then :P
I wish they would somehow redeem Gilda in the actual show :/ or introduce another gryphon...
1684466
Okay then; hopefully I won't disappoint!
My next one will be very different, but after that, I should be moving on to more stories like this.
i must say that was terrible... TERRIBLY AWESOME! I LOVED IT!!!!!!!
1746827
Thanks!
It suddenly occurs to me that the Changelings are a perfect Deux ex Machina for editing out any bits of canon characterisation you don't like. Need your chosen character to be nicer? The nasty version was one of those bug-pony things!
1764865
Trixie fic resembling this one in 3... 2... 1...
Fiction is good. Me like it.
2018635
Thanks!
While I did really like this story (and The Clothes Make the Mare, for that matter) I do kind of question Ranibow's comments about Gilda and the pegasus she was with. I find it hard to believe that Rainbow would say things like that, she seems like the type to utterly lose her shit when someone is being a bigot nearby. Other than that, I quite liked this.
2042102
Maybe so... but I have to admit, it is fun to portray Rainbow as the villain.
She makes a good villain!
*grins and applauds* I've never seen this idea before and you executed it beautifully!
2089380
Thanks
(So, I noticed this was in the group "Authors Helping Authors" and didn't have a review just yet. Seeing as how this story was published quite some time ago, I wasn't sure if it was appropriate to give you criticism on it and ask for some in return. However, I did so anyway just because it was still in the group. I hope you don't mind!
)
This review is brought to you on behalf of the group: Authors Helping Authors
Name of Story: First Impression
Grammar Score: 8.5/10
Pros:
-Very original idea with a twist.
-Fun title and nicely portrayed characters--including the OC. I adored every showing of Gloria.
-Happy and fulfilling ending.
Cons:
-There were a few errors all around, and could use some polishing.
-Ended too quickly, and with the overly used "X is/was a changeling" idea.
-Not introducing all characters in the beginning.
Notes:
This is where I will elaborate on some of my points above. A lot of stories commonly have their conflicts resolved similarly where changelings are involved--It makes sense, yes, but it's been overdone. While I personally don't like Gilda very much as a character, I've tried to read and review your story without that influencing how much I like the piece. (While this isn't so much a critique as it is a complaint, I would've liked to see Gilda apologize and seek forgiveness rather than have the blame be tossed to a changeling.) Moving on, at the very beginning where Gloria was first mentioned: I wasn't sure who she was or who her mother was. This led me to re-read the first couple of paragraphs in my confusion, only to find that Gilda was mentioned below in the dialogue. What I'm getting at is not to use "her mother" too much; this confuses the reader where we didn't need to be. We already knew the story was going to revolve around Gilda based on the description and cover photo, so there's no need for mystery. There were some grammar errors, just small things, like so:
Because the following is a dialogue tag and is part of the same sentence, "the" wouldn't need to be capitalized, and after "Eeyup" there would be a comma. Also, between "said" and "simply" a comma is not needed because he is saying something simply, and not saying something while doing an action simply. Overall, I think this was an excellent idea and story that was pulled off well. While I haven't read many Gilda fics, I think this one is original in the fact that Gilda returns (technically for the first time!) to Ponyville with a daughter and has to prove her innocence.
Great job, and best of luck in your future endeavors. I hope my review was helpful, despite it being done quite a while after your story was!
Have a thumbs-up and favorite. 
Enjoy your review! Please help me out by looking at my story and leaving a review: Oh My... Did I Misread the Signs?
2794530
Thanks!
Such an old story is new to the group because I just discovered the group.
(This is actually the first story I ever published.)
And, yes, I do plan on taking a look at yours, but it may take a while, I'm afraid to say. I leave for a two week camping trip tomorrow. I WILL get to it though, just be patient. ^.^
2794594
You're welcome!
Haha, no worries. Take as much time as you need; there's no rush. The story I actually linked is an old one of mine as well, with about a thousand less words than yours.
On a completely unrelated note that I hope you don't mind: Two week camping trip?! That sounds awesome. While you're going to have fun, I'm actually going to be packing tomorrow to move to a new house.
...I think we know which of us is going to have a better time.
Interesting idea and nicely written.
2831901
Thanks!
Dat 6,666 word count