This is the story of how an entire fandom has overlooked one of the most popular character's true royal duty.
*EDIT* True duty as in why she raises the moon she is and forever will be the Princess of the Night
*Further EDIT* I am aware that there is nothing in canon to even suggest this other than physics not completely being ignored in Equestria and as such is a direction I hope the fanon will agree is a good one. This was written with the hopes of inspiring a new take on Luna stories.
Chapters (1)
Wow... Ok.
First off, excellent premise.
I never really thought about that, and your characterization of both Luna and that bitch who likes bananas (Yes I saw what you did there) is prettymuch spot on.
However.
There's not quite a grammar holocaust here, closer to a grammar ethnic cleansing, but it's close. I highly recommend you find yourself a prereader or an editor. Sentence and paragraph structure are all over the road, and punctuation's curled up crying in the trunk.
Please don't be discouraged, you have an excellent idea here, and the bare bones of a good story, but it really does need a lot of work.
Wow... That was kinda harsh, but I understand what this is trying to get at. Without the moon, there would be no tides. I think that the idolization of the night was the hypothetical, "straw that broke the camel's back," So to speak. This story just needed to be a little bit longer, but it gets the point across quite well.
i.chzbgr.com/completestore/2011/5/17/89ee4800-0c65-4e84-923c-2789d7a628b8.gif
You're essentially trying to say that the entire fandom overlooked your headcanon, and nothing more.
Yes, the moon affects the oceans and the tides. Yes, this also means that the seas are more or less under Luna's jurisdiction as well. This does not mean that this is her 'true' duty. Within the show, she's been titled as the 'Princess of the Night', and has even referred to herself as such. Her own cutie mark is a moon.
Side duty? Maybe. True duty? Absolutely not.
In addition to this, your fic is riddled with numerous grammatical and spelling errors.
The story was ok, executed well for what it is. But your grammar does kinda suck. I think the thought crossed my mind before, but I didn't invest much brain resources in pondering it. Makes perfect sense though.
Here, have a thumb.
Plenty others have already mentioned the grammar concerns, so I won't bring that up again.
But I love the idea behind it. Just so you know, I did read (ok, ok "hear' on a fan-reading) another fanfic that addressed Luna's connection to the seas, but that one dealt more with sailor ponies navigating their way home by the stars when they got blown off course by a storm than the actual tides. Awesome concept there, my friend.
I give it a hoof-up!
1541991
Why does everyone make Celestia out to be a bad pony... I just don't get it. Although I'd say she's clearly considerably ignorant on some subjects.
1542044
I concur. Still I should she has every right to be mad that Celestia wouldn't notice such a big chunk of stuff involving the moon.
It's an interesting notion, but if it were me, I'd make it so that Celestia's casual moon raising had made the seas not safe to travel. I.e. she puts more attention to the sun than the moon or raises the moon at exactly the same time all year so that the tides are mucked up somehow.
It's not like the moon is up there solely to makes tides... I'd insert another word in there, see above.
In any case, Luna and pirates seems potentially interesting.
I think you should play up that bit about Celestia maybe not even knowing what it is that Princess Cadence does though, maybe as a side plot?
To all it concerns:
1)I thank you for the grammar fixes and I have fixed those brought to my attention, (it was rushed more than I should have allowed)
2) this is marked complete and was practice at characterization and testing the waters for a pirate Luna endeavor. Luna would not have a way to know if sailors suffered and Celestia would not know to look.
3) The act of moving the sun and moon would not be easy and if it did not accomplish something useful would they really continue to spend all that energy on it.
4) all I did was apply physics to the rules that have been stated as canon.
Tilt in earth orbit around sun causes seasons-> Celestia's sun goes around equestria = Celestia makes seasons
sonic boom= sonic rain-boom -> whips break the sound barrier when cracked... (Lots of fun to be had with this and RD)
Are you suggesting that Celestia is self-absorbed to the point that she doesn't really think about what any of the other gods and goddesses do? If so... well, you're probably correct.
I reviewed your story tonight you can find it here