Michael Walker is a middle-aged man, who has a passing interest in My Little Pony : Friendship is magic. On one particular Saturday morning, he awakes to find himself transformed into Twilight Sparkle. How will his wife, her youngest daughter and two grandchildren react upon this new form? And how will he react once he manages to transport himself and his wife to Equestira? How will Twilight react to seeing a double of herself from another world? And what sort of events happen after he and his wife return? What happens after the Princess returns to his world, requesting his assistance in helping to defeat Discord? And what happens next?
Cover Image by iFoxTrax of Deviantart.
Chapters (17)
Nice try.
1526218
You just love to hate on people, don't you?
1526218 tbh, I have to agree with 1526240 's sentiments. The comment's i've recently seen from you have been a tad disparaging.
Anyway, onto what I think of the story.
I like the concept. No, I LOVE the concept. A man becomes a pony, and has to deal with human life... as a pony, and all it comes with.
I've already seen a really well written one where a guy becomes Lyra, and has alot of problems. I just wish he stayed in the human world...
The problem is... you don't execute it that well. I couldn't really get into it. The guy just kinda' woke up as Twi, so I have no idea what he acted like beforehand, or what other things he did. Furthermore, I would think that his family would be more... surprised? livid? terrified? compassionate? They kinda' blow his condition off entirely. Then that leads to effectively an HiE, which does become a Bronies to Ponies story.
I'm personally looking forward to a story about a person who knows about bronies and MLP, and becomes a pony, to his utter dismay.
Anyway, I suggest expanding on just about everything and having characters react appropriately to the situation.
I like the concept, I just want to see it done better >.^
Ave,
Axôlú
1526240 No, just people who feel like they have to write in this genre. There has been a boom of these stories, and none of them good. There is a difference between critical and hatred.
1526290 Whatever. I just wish a good fic would show up now and then.
1526300 I may be misinterpreting your comment, but based on your 10+ favorites in the last 4 days, I think you've found plenty of good fics recently.
If you're talking about good HiE's, then yea, I can understand that...
1526325 Those fics are mostly older ones, or ones by already recognized authors but a few good ones do show up now and then.
But you're right, I should have phrased that differently: I wish a new good writer would show up. The stuff these people pump out is not good. It's been a particularly bad week for fics, I'm a bit pissed. Along with this sudden barrage of Brony/human becomes a pony fics, I've nearly lost faith in this site.
I felt like I just had to downvote, given what's been already said... The story starts with no idea of who this person was before being a pony. The transition doesn't make sense. And it all just comes across so painfully bland. Not to mention, the prose just feels thin in terms of lack of detail. I just don't like this at all-- sorry.
1526380
>I've nearly lost faith in this site.
Oh, goodness, I've had my faith gone for months upon months now-- it's like I lose faith more every single day even though that shouldn't be possible.
1526447 Fortunately you still write good things.
1526481
Thanks!
1526380 Agreed, after the first 'Why am I Pinkie Pie' fic and that one with Lyra... meh.
But as I said in my small semi-review, I'm still lookin' for that good knowledgeable non-brony Human becomes Pony and deals with social life.
I mean, if they were a highschooler, American society would force them to go, and probably send officers in search of them, in which they find an equine in place of the expected human. Likewise, if they held a job which required them to come in every day by law, same thing. Then the insanity would resume from there, assuming the author could find a way to get them into their school/job after the whole nasty legal process. Even so, under human laws, would a sentient (I'd like to say sapient, but I find it hard to with our scientific name being homo sapien, even though sapientia/sapeientiae is Latin for wisdom, and I'm going on a tangent) non-human species get the same treatment as a human, especially if they were human before?
I think it could get incredibly messy in the psychological/sociological/legal departments, something I haven't seen in any HbP (Human becomes Pony?) yet.
1526531 No problem, I really do mean it!
1526540 The whole absurdity, and the sheer amount of it is what turns me off. This trope has gone the same way as fallout equestria, and that pisses me off more than anything.
1526558 Fair enough. I personally dote on the absurd, so I guess it's just a matter of opinion >.^
1526576 It's not a funny absurd, it's a dumb absurd. It's just gotten irritating.
1526584 I meant absurd in general. I like absurd. To each their own.
I dunno what to say
Are he stupid or something?
"Call me twilight" Pfft.
Unleash the horde! Heads will roll! Villages will burn!
Good morning, young one. If it is possible for me to suggest, and I wish that you don't take any offense to my notions, but you have a few errors I would like to point out before initiating myself into reading this 'Twilight for a day' story.
First off, I would like to point out your title: Twilight for a Day
If I didn't know any better, you need to capitalize the 'for' in your title. The only words that you cannot capitalize in a title is on, of, the, is, or, and, and a. Unless there was some unique change in the English language during my absence, I do believe that is how the title should be properly titled.
Second, there are things I would like to point out in your description:
Child, a one-shot, if I am not mistaken from skimming the new 'slang' of the days, is when it is a one chapter story and nothing more. You explain everything in one chapter, and you leave it at that. If this were to be a 'one-shot' story, then you need to combine your chapters into one big chapter.
Lastly, that sentence of yours is a run-on sentence. You are not properly using the commas, and's, and explanation. How it should properly be written is like the following:
I hope this helps out a lot, my young friend. If you ever need any further assistance, you can let me know of your troubles. I am willing to help my citizens; of the people, by the people, for the people. Thank you.
Abraham Lincoln
:1527788 Thanks for the help. Will try to fix if/when I can. I meant to say that the whole story is a one-shot, broken into bite-sized pieces.
As for grammar/usage/punctuation, I thought I did fairly well. I don't have complete mastery of language, and my writing skills are quite rusty, given the fact I never wrote a term paper in High School, nor took any such courses in College. I tend to consider myself a stickler for spelling/grammar/usage as best I can. Thanks again.
-Mike
1528270 Indeed, your grammar/punctuation/usage is above fair, indeed. I am just here to help make sure everyone learn something new.
Abraham Lincoln
great job so far. cant w8 fer more and hope all your other stories you write will be just as good
edit: also FIRST!
edit: SECOND!
Also good story lots of potential. BTW maybe when they get back they teleport back brenda is a pony and mike is still twilight. Huh? Huh? *winks*
1533544 That would be wild, but the story keeps going after they get back home! I don't want to spoil what's coming, it'll be too good!
Oh gosh a paradox~!!!
1533604 Yay it continues!!!
Can I haz Moar Please
This is good I'd say
Just because he looks like Twilight doesn't mean others have to call him so -.-
well...fudge muffins... thought it'd be over
. KIDDING! cant w8 for more 
set phasers to moustache
cliffhanger dun dun dun
Approved.
well its obious to me that you have not signs of stopping. no matter what it keeps going. i think ill just sit back now and enjoy the ride
THIS AWESOME,
I want that car.
1558027 It's not for sale.
first and LOL
clop inbound?
also still enjoying amazingly! I doubted that I would keep interest in this one at first but you hooked me!
To all of you dislikers and haters of this story, I LOVED it!
Btw, in the human world on this story, is the human world cartoon, or real-real life? 
If it's real-real life, I can't picture Berenda as a human being in Equestria.
If we were meant to picture the human world as cartoon, then the story kinda goes down the drain when you can't imagine you being a cartoon pony in the human world. 
Other than that, I just loved it! 
I tried my best to picture this story while reading this. 
Your grammar is excellent, even if there are some mistakes in it: twilightsmile: Can you please make a sequel of this story? I would love one. 
1560362 i beleive its like a reverse of roger rabbit. just imagine real ppl in cartoon worlds
1560105 It's not going in that direction...he's going to see her true reflection in the mirror...
1560362 Not quite finished yet, some really weird stuff is going to happen...
Well fuck...agian... this is going really fast and yet theres just more and more. my guess is because of the demensional travel theres been a rift allowing anyone powerful enough to cross over, purposefully or otherwise. anyway great story so far
woah woah woah I just barely finished digesting the info changling queen being killed and then nightmare moon happens and then she bails just as soon as I come to terms with her being there!
could we slow down a bit here, it's starting to feel a bit rushed!
still enjoying this all but lets down shift ther gears here and hand out some info slower!
1562516 More to come, keep your seat belts on! We're in for a bumpy ride!
the changeling death sounds God-of-War inspired, is that true?
1563445 Actually, no it's not. Never played that game.
Wellllll mike listen buddy...(WARNING CRITISISM INBOUND!) they audience is right you need to slow things down a bit. I mean this would make a really good...And i mean REALLY GOOD fic if this was slowed down a bit. Like instead of jumping from one villians death to another villians defeat. describe a bit more. Add conversation to the encounters. These are some of the elements of a good fic. Now im NOT AND I REPEAT NOT saying its bad it just need some more added to make it amazing. (END OF CRITISISM) That is all. Thank you and please dont take this response the wrong way.
Looking forward to future chapters.
