Liquid_Rainbows
Joined 29th Dec, 2011 ·
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So if you're reading this, Gypsy, thanks a ton! I was originally a little skeptical on how it might turn out, but at the very least, I had a ton of fun writing this one, and I don't even know why. Something about writing happy, go-lucky stories puts me in a good mood!
tikitumble.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/brilliant-cigar-man-500x375.jpg
You sir, are a gentleman and a scholar.
Great story, just that i would call caramels coat color..well caramel
correct me if I'm wrong but... The amount of sensitivity a unicorns horn feels is ten times that of a male's member wouldn't that constitute instant unconsciousness from sensory overload ?
103113
I don't know, I'm not a doctor.
103104
I don't know. Maybe I'm just color blind, but I see orange.
Nonetheless, I changed it, since you sound more right than I do.
this...this!...THIS WAS BEAUTIFUL!
everythingwentbetterthanexpected.jpg
thanks bro, this means a lot!
103245
No problem! And thank you for the idea.
103261
can't wait for the next fic
I LOVE YOU BLAAAA*gurgling noises*AARGH!!
103220
*shrugs* his name is caramel and his coat similar to the color caramel
images.wikia.com/mlp/images/0/09/Caramel.png
Orange: upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/d3/Orange_colour_box.svg/375px-Orange_colour_box.svg.png
Caramel: http://www.art-paints.com/Paints/Acrylic/Palmer/Prism/Caramel/Caramel.gif
Caramel does sort of look orange, a pale, lighter shade of orange
I find this disturbingly interesting and at the same time..."exciting"
Hoping for more from you soon xD
@Liquid_Rainbows
basically : go with light brown, or brown that should keep them nitpickers at bay
Very nice. You're going on my Artist Watch list. Take these 5 stars. You earned'em
104204
Thank you!
Seemed to have progressed a little fast, though I feel you really weren't intending to write out a long narrative.
5 starred, faved and all of that. This was a really nice clop fic, going beyond what is considered acceptable around here, in other words;
arch.413chan.net/shut_up_and_take_my_money-(n1299989040607).jpg
I noticed a few issues here and there. "Kind" sized bed, an instance of ".,", the conversation in the restaurant had the action associated with the wrong speakers. But on the whole, lovely. I love Fleur.
YOU'RE ALL WELCOME I GAVE HIM THE IDEA! lulz
I jizzed when I saw this was put in that story thingy up at the top of FiMFiction! Lul I should have written this but it wouldn't have been as good as my man Liquid had done it that's for sure
Annnnnnnnd boom goes the dynamite
I am all about more fics containing my pony! :D
... and Caramel shipping, for that matter. He's so cute~ People need to use him more.
This...
I'm sorry, but this was garbage. I'm certain you've heard of what it means to show, not tell. Unfortunately, your fic does just that - it tells, tells, and tells some more. I was not drawn into the story at all. I'd go so far as to say I actually had to work just to read the fic. The character 'development' was very rushed and out of place. The lemony part of the fic is kind of...hell, it's extraordinarily hard to read. I felt embarrassed just skimming it. Make it less...oh, I don't know, BLATANT? And the apple cart's location is dropped immediately after Fleur finds Caramel. Yes, it does bother me. Would somepony like Caramel forget an apple cart (completely)?
Your style leaves much to be desired. Actions are not correctly joined with speakers. Yes, this is important. It makes this harder to read.
1.0/5 stars. Fix these issues.
105180
Hey buddy, no need to tell him to fix something that's already perfect. Not to mention doing it a bit rudely.
Anyways, you seem to be the only disliker. Don't ask him to change the story for your sake. You are simply the 1%.
105180
no u
105180
Character development in an admitted clopfic? Really?
All I can say about this fic:
wurst.fronk.at/saved_pictures/1267316251839.gifhttp://wurst.fronk.at/saved_pictures/1267316251839.gif
Go damn it, here fixed:
All I can say about this fic:
wurst.fronk.at/saved_pictures/1267316251839.gif
excellent fic.
Dude that story was so detailed on the orgy parts it made me laugh i'll give the story a (10/10) good job bro XD
Well I was not expecting a clopfic (I dont really read tags very often), and let me say, this is very well written.
5 Stars and mustache Spike is your reward for this amazing story.
105180
I'm sorry, but you're reading a clopfic. Subtlety is not exactly a common practice in these sorts of things. As for your other issues, yes, I suppose I could have mentioned the apple cart later on, I'll give you that. And sorry if my writing style isn't your personal cup of tea. I can't do anything to make you change your rating, but I just hope you understand where I'm coming from.
105057
I tend to identify the speaker before hand and write the other characters reaction after the speaker is done talking, sorry if that's confusing.
Thanks for pointing those out! Small errors can be easy to miss. Oh, as as for the for the conversation scene, that's actually just my writing style.
105180
Oh, it wasn't THAT bad. There are waaaaaaaaaaaaayyy worst clopfics out there. This one in particular is very well written (certainly better than the crap i put out) and very satisfying.
105211
>perfect
Not quite.
>rude
Fair enough. I suppose I was a bit harsh. I still think my argument stands, though.
>1%
...
Yeah, no.
105299
Criticize me all you want; I'm willing to accept I'm not perfect (and as fate would have it, horrid).
...then again, this isn't a criticism, is it?
105340
>character development
I've seen it, believe you me. And...well, it's amazing. It makes the entire thing that much more satisfying to read.
>admitted clopfic
The only thing hinting at this was the "Mature" tag. IT WAS THE ONLY THING.
106041
>Subtlety, or lack thereof
Break the damn mold, then! I've seen it before, and it makes everything better!
>Writing style
Well, beauty is in the beholder of the eye and whatnot. I just hope you take my criticisms seriously and not just pass them off.
106432
>not that bad
Uh...kinda.
>Better than the crap he puts out
...but I liked your stories...
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Yes, yes, I get it. This is a clopfic.
That doesn't make it good on its own merits.
106635
critisize? Admitting you're not perfect?
how the hell did you get that out of a "no u"?! lulz you're reading in between the lines when there's nothing there bro
106635
CheeseDeluxe, I respect your opinion, I respect that you have a certain outlook, and I respect that you didn't like the story, but I think we both know that responding to their comments is only going to start trouble. I could easily just delete comments, but I'd rather resolve his civilly before things get out of hand. I understand that you want to respond to these comments, but it would really be easier to just walk away now. You've stated your opinion, left your rating, and I would kindly ask you to be done with it, now.
102984
Deadpool is Bronie
i couldn't be more happy 
106739
Good resolve and fine writting skills, marry me
106753
I'm flattered, really! Thanks a bunch, OpticBlast
106739
You're right, perhaps I was a bit too harsh.
Although there were some grammar mistakes they didn't detract too much from the overall story. Idk if you have someone pre-read them but that could help. Also caramel is generally portrayed as being very forgetful add that to the fact that he's spending time with a beautiful mare and it's not a very large stretch. Also I was kinda wondering about the money since he's a farm pony yada yada yada but it's a clop fic so most people aren't exactly in it for he plot...well not in he traditional sense at least. Regardless this could have been a pretty good multi-parter if it was slowed down. Admitadly you would probably have had to eliminate the clop to have done that but it is what it is and I think it's pretty good. Sorry for the long message it kinda got away from me hahaha
Beautiful story, very enjoyable. Stranger things (and ships) have happened, so working within the confines of the show, i am very impressed with what you were able to formulate. Keep up the good work.
107431
I will write multi-parters again one day, but when it comes to requests, I don't want to dwell too long or I'll end up never getting anything done. If I get a request that I think I can expand into a multi-part story, I just might, but I have way to many right now to start doing that. Anyways, thanks!
107431
I wished it was a multipart and who said you have to remove the clop to do that?!?
111382
ehh you don't have to but I think it would be easier to expand on the plot
if you didn't have to focus on clop. Granted I've read some good clop multiparters. Regardless I think this would have to be redone for a mulitiparter. which he probably isn't even going to do anyway so it really doesn't matter haha.
115455
the clop coulda have been held onto until the end or near, but yeah I wished for a multipart too
Very nicely done, and to SOMEPONY who seems to think this was sooo unbelievably bad that it deserved a 1 star, either realize what the hay your reading or calm the hay down; the stories are written to be enjoyed, not argued over. If you can't read it because of little mistakes, that's your problem.
I, for one found this to be very well put together, and it had a great deal of development for a clop. Keep up the great work.
(And sorry for the rant in the beginning, but these people aggravate me to no end.)
136008
Thanks!
And I guess these stories just aren't everyone's cup of tea.
I found this really sexy myself and very well done.
Lucky bastard
5 stars!, you should make a sequel!