• Member Since 6th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Dec 4th, 2019

Mihail Frost


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Twilight Sparkle has a big day coming up, and a dragon around to remind her of it in no uncertain terms. But her heart doesn't seem to be entirely in the swing of things, and she can't understand why. Sometimes, it might not be such a good idea to listen to your heart.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 18 )

That was a very sweet account of what must have been an awkward, painful moment in pony time for Twilight. She's a good friend to bear such woe despite her own selfish desires, yet... yet she'll always be forced to wonder "what if", hm? The song notes this point perfectly, adding emotion and lament to what is otherwise a jubilant time - the flashbacks and the present painted effortless into each other - wonderful.

There's one slight error I noted, where you've got "En" instead of "An", but I only point fault after enjoying the entirety.

Thank you for a nice, entertaining read!

:pinkiehappy: - What er... what SONG WAS THAT!? GYAAH! Now it's driving me nuts! Is it called Scared of Heights? Is it THAT obvious?

1452442 - Thank you! Ooh, I love it!

This is a good story. A sad story, but a good sad story.

I really liked this story, despite how sad it was... Living with the burden of 'What If?' is something that I wouldn't wish upon my worse enemy...

1452287

I REALLY don't like Mane 6 shipping, but I find myself liking this quite a bit. I don't think there is anything else to say besides that.
Well done.

Well, that was a nice read^^ :twilightsmile:
Just a few little grammatical improvements I'd suggest:
"she more she felt as if something was off" --> the more
"she feeling of something being wrong" --> her feeling
:heart: Ship ALL the ponies! :heart:

Also, loved some of your language! "prosody" <3

How the hell do we start with Twilight blushing cuz Spike told her she was beautiful, and end up with Twilight remember a time when she got DRUNK and almost confesed herself to Rainbow? :applejackconfused:
Aside from that, and the fact that I hate this and all the lesbian fanmade parings, this was a pretty good story. The detail of the narrative was great and you preserved the character personalities very well.

1452287, 1452442 Thank you both very, very much. This goes for everyone who's commented, but seeing these comments here when I logged on the site this morning just made my day. Thanks, Twifight, for noticing the slight error. I'll be sure to fix it up when I get a chance. Just been really busy today. Also, thanks to Iron Hoof for having the good taste to pick the very version of this song I was thinking of when I wrote the story. :twilightsmile:

Also, if you'll forgive me the indulgence, you both said you read the story as being about the "what-ifs". This is self-evidently true, but there's also something else there, in the title and in Twilight's final revelation. If she was socially awkward and struggled with friendships, then how much more daunting the prospect of love and committment for an adorably awkward, overthinking little nerdy book pony? Twilight's prison is one of her own making, a prison, to rip off the Matrix, for her mind.

At least, that's what I tried to write. I'll take it as a lesson. :twilightblush:

1452529 Wow, that's...quite the compliment there. I'm happy you liked it, especially given your self-professed dislike of the genre. :rainbowkiss:

1452733 I'll say the same to you as I said to Twifight and Iron Hooves: thanks a ton for your comment, and I'll make the revisions when I can. And yes, prosody is a nice word, isn't it? Doubly useful when I checked up on it again today, since it apparently applies in slightly different ways to both poetry and putting words to music. :rainbowderp:

1454241 If I'm reading what you're saying correctly, I can tell you that we get there by the first interaction being affectionate in a familial way, and the other romantic. Seriously, I could never see Spike and Twilight as anything but family.

The whole exchange, short as it is, is of course open to interpretation, but my intent behind writing it was to give the hint that Spike is more than likely rather more perceptive than most would have thought, and that he's figured most of Twilight's situation out. Or at least, he's not blind and he has seen that something has been bothering her, for at least two years.

So, he compliments her to try and make her feel better, in short. She's touched because, well, it was a nice thing to do regardless of intent.

I hope I didn't come off as antagonistic, that wasn't what I meant to do at all. I accept your compliments humbly, of course, but regardless of what you'd have thought of the story, I would have been happy that you took the same leap of faith as cloudedguardian did and gave the story a chance. Props for that! :pinkiesmile:

1457846
Thanks for the explanation. But dude, did you read all my review? I did read the story. And even though I hate almost whenever someone turns one of the elements (or any other female chatracter, for that matter) into lesbians, I did liked this story. Cuz it is well done. The plot, the narrative, the characters, and specially the vocabulary you used, makes this an overall great story :raritywink:
Plus, this may be one of the very few "Sad" rated stories I've ever read so far on this page that are ACTUALLY SAD, and not just the author improvising bad plot devices to make the characters life miserable. Just for that you can bet I'll clap as hard as I can.

1457846

That's what makes the story so good. You captured the element of Twilight's introversion perfectly within your writing.
images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/25100000/Twilight-Sparkle-is-a-super-mega-nerd-my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-25103678-668-629.png

I am slightly pissed at Rainbow for completely ignoring Twilight's confession.

So what if she's drunk? So what if she's slightly unreliable when saying it?
A confession of love must ALWAYS be taken seriously, be it from someone drunk or sober. What if the person/pony confessing is actually serious? Imagine the feeling of getting your deepest emotions and hopes, mercilessly shattered and whisked away as a joke. It's not something I would want to happen for anyone. It's simply too cruel, and I am amazed that she acts as calmly as she does.

1458418, 1459117 Now I just feel bad. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to try and patronize anyone. The reason I commented on the interaction between Twilight and Spike was that I'd rather people didn't think I ship them. But yeah, I did assume you had read it all, Rennes. And thanks again for your wonderful compliments, I'm not worthy. :scootangel:

1462371 You know, I...never really thought about that possible interpretation when I wrote it. I guess I just supposed everyone would understand Rainbow, at least. Cause we all have that one friend who's a sentimental drunk, don't we? That is the way it goes, often; suddenly, all you need is indeed love.

I didn't even see it as a confession from Twilight's side. Or well, not something she expected to have reciprocated, anyway. More like, one last chance to actually say those words to her crush, at a time when it was acceptable. Before she had to shut herself down completely.

All the same, if the Dash in my headcanon wasn't almost prohibitively dense when it comes to anything that's not flying and the Wonderbolts, so that I could think that she would have understood Twilight's situation without being spoon-fed it, and she had still acted like that, I'd have been pissed too.

Still, thank you for having read the story. That's right nice of you, right there. :yay:

1463985
I wouldn't really call it being 'Dense' to ignore a confession getting thrown right into your face. She was, as you explain it, spoon-fed the confession. There was no way she could've not realized it...

I'm sorry if I make it sound like I'm raging at you, it's just that I am very sensitive when it comes to playing with hearts. I've helped my friends through their harder times, even aided in stopping a (possible) suicide. So even if it is a story, I get stirred up when someone acts like that.

1463985
I have... No idea why you used the word "patronize". :rainbowderp:
Anyway don't feel bad. And even though it is good how you want to keep it humble. Sometimes you just have to accept people's kindness. Specially if you do, deserve it.
Till next time. :raritywink:

That made me sad. My two favorite ships are Twidash and Twiluna and I really don't care for Flutterddash or Appledash.

Damnit... it hurts to read this story... close to the end I almost hoped they broke up peacefully and Twi got together with RD anyway:fluttershysad:

It feels like someone have taken my heart and pressed a big ball inside it. Then put it back in. Thats what it feels like reading this story.

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