Derpy Whooves, resident mailmare for Ponyville, enjoy's a regular day in her life. We follow her as she delivers mail to our favorite ponies.
Chapters (4)
- Member Since 28th Sep, 2012
- offline last seen Jan 5th, 2023
frostfauna
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frostfauna
Joined 28th Sep, 2012 ·
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Sorry if it's a little tough to read. I haven't figured out how to use the bold and italic features on the story editor yet. We'll just have to settle for 'apostrophies' and THE ROYAL CANTERLOCK.
1455759
Sorry about that. I'll be sure to pay more attention to tense in future chapters. Thanks for reading.
It's an okay start apart from the Flanderization of Derpy's muffin thing to the point where it actually distracts from the dialogue and narrative.
I think you got all the characters' personalities right in this story.
Pinkie's warning has the feel of a Pinkie Sense Incident. Let me guess: the Crusaders are trying for their 'Pony Cannonball' cutie marks.
>>BenRG
I may have overdone it just a bit in the first chapter. The second is much better.
>>BenRG
I did my best to keep their personalities intact. I was going for something believable here, being a 'slice of life' story and all. I was very happy with how this chapter turned out.
Thanks!
1453690
If you haven't figured it out yet, just wrap them in the appropriate tags. [i]Italics[/i] = Italics. [b]Bold[/b] = Bold. Wrap them in the tags wherever you write, then when you bring it over here, you'll get the results. You can also highlight the text you want and then use control+B (Bold) or control+I (Italics).
Though I'd say keep using caps lock over going to bold. And, with either, they should rarely need to be used.
1481477
Thanks for the info, I'll try it out, but I think I might just stick to caps in place of most italics As far as bold is concerned, I doubt I'll be using it. I appreciate the help. Hopefully I can get it to work.
This chapter felt a bit rushed. It just didn't flow from my mind to the keyboard like the second chapter did. I hope it isn't too bad.
Simple story, but I'm enjoying it. Going to favorite now.
1481989
Woot! Got another fave! Thanks for reading, norspark.
Oh? Trixie's show with Vinyl kept Twilight awake? Well, I think that's a revelation that would make a certain show-mare even happier this morning!
1485515
you like'd that little part, did you? I'm glad. I really wanted Trixie in here, so I found an opening. Now how to deal with lyra and bon-bon... This will be good.
About this chapter, I was going for something a little different with the ending. I wanted something a little more emotional, but I'm not too sure how well I pulled it off. Please let me know what you think, and what I can do to improve.
This is something that I haven't seen in a portrayal of Derpy before - that she occasionally might deliberately stir the pot a bit, using her bubble-brain act to escape negative consequences. Possibly, she has learnt the art of gently nudging people and events in the right direction whilst appearing an eccentric bumbler from the Doctor, who is a master of such methods.
It is in-character that The Doctor would not notice that Derpy is about to bite out Colgate's throat. Or, rather, it is in-character for him not to appear to notice. With him, you are always dealing with an enigma hidden in an anagram that's sealed in a puzzle box at the centre of a maze with a false wall as the entrance.
1521454
Anyway, I'm glad The Doctor was represented right. Thanks for commenting.
Yeah, as I've said before, I'm trying to keep the characters' personalities intact while I do this. I wasn't sure how well I managed to pull it off in this chapter, since I was dealing with so many background characters. Speaking of those, I still haven't figured out how to deal with Lyra and Bon-Bon.