Ten:
Heartless
The Everfree Forest was untamable. It had been that way since long before the ponies had lost their country to the eternal Winter and relocated in the realm they named Equestria. Pegasi had no more control of the weather there than earth ponies had of the twisted plants that grew, and unicorns could sense the wrongness of that place, if they were sensitive; magic itself seemed to be bent and twisted there into something dark and terrible. Nopony in her right mind would spend more than a few hours there.
Celestia and her friends had been traveling through the dark woods for days. Deeper and deeper into the gloom they ventured, following Page’s maps, searching desperately for the only power that might rescue the ponies of Canterlot from the power of Discord: the Elements of Harmony.
“Let’s make camp here,” said Luna, when she saw Page stumble over a particularly gnarled root.
“I-I can go further,” Page protested. She didn’t want to be the weak one in the group, but a lifetime of studying the outdoors from behind the pages of a book had done nothing to prepare her for the sheer physical trauma that was hiking.
Luna smiled gently. “It’s getting dark. I don’t think we should push ourselves.”
“Besides,” said Victory, “I’m getting tired too.”
Page noticed that the earth pony had barely broken a sweat all day, while her own coat was drenched. She wanted to argue, but found she didn’t have the strength for it. I’ll do better tomorrow, she thought.
“What are you talking about?” said Celestia. “There is an hour’s worth of light at least.”
The others exchanged a look. Celestia had been acting strange ever since her encounter with Discord. She had become colder, somehow…almost uncaring. Whatever the creature had done to her had left her changed in ways that frightened her friends.
“We don’t want to be too tired when night falls here,” said Luna. “We may need our strength if something… unexpected happens.”
Celestia’s eyes narrowed. “Fine,” she said, and turned away from her sister.
Luna stared after her. She was more worried than she let on in front of the others. Where was her sister? Her real sister, the one that traded half of her life and power to bring her into the world, the one that gave Luna her name. She looked at the gray pony that had her back to her. Come back to me.
With a spark from her horn, Luna lit the campfire and they huddled around it, all except for Celestia, who stood some ways apart, still as a statue, staring off into the darkness between the trees.
“Do you think the Elements will… help her?” Victory whispered.
“I do not know,” said Luna.
“They are definitely powerful enough,” Page said. She had her maps out, and the two books that they had recovered from the ashes of Starswirl’s house were laid on top of them, open. “The Book of Harmony says that friendship’s power can save a heart that is lost.”
“Is that what happened to her?” Victory asked.
Luna felt her insides tighten. “I don’t know that, either.”
“But even if it is, why would we need the Elements to do that? We are her friends. Why can’t we just… I don’t know… be powerful enough by ourselves?”
Page shook her head. “Magic doesn’t always work like that, Victory. Sometimes friendship alone isn’t enough.”
Victory frowned. “That sounds like something out of that other book. The dark one.”
“It’s called The Sea of Night, and while I don’t agree with everything it says about magic, it is what gave me the clue about where to find the Elements of Harmony.”
“But you said that passage wasn’t even in pony language.”
“I translated it from the original dragon tongue…”
“But you don’t even speak dragon. How d’you know you translated it right?”
Page sighed. “I guess we’ll find out soon enough.”
Luna said nothing. The truth was that they all trusted Page, if only because the Elements of Harmony were their only hope now and her clue was their only lead. She watched Celestia, wondering if she was listening to any of what they were saying, wondering if she even cared…
As it turned out, Celestia was wondering about the same thing. She had felt the change in herself when Discord had touched her, felt her heart go dark in an instant. She had heard her friends whispering about her amongst themselves, knew that they were concerned. I just don’t care, she thought. I don’t. She even tried, as an experiment, remembering what she felt when she stood before Luna’s mirror on that night, but even though she could remember what she had been feeling in that moment, when Luna had crashed into her arms for the first time, she could not duplicate those feelings now.
Not caring had its advantages. Things had never been clearer to Celestia. Before Discord had touched her, she kept countless memories behind locked doors in her soul that she never opened. Things like her time on the streets of Canterlot. Being able to love would surely make some of those memories painful… perhaps unbearable. But not anymore. Now she saw where she went wrong as a filly, back when she refused to fight and steal and kill for her life. She saw how much of a foal she was to be taken in by Starswirl. Really, who takes in a useless filly without any thought for his own personal gain? She should have seen his betrayal coming miles away, and she would have, had she not been blinded by that emotion she had once thought so precious.
Her friends were still important to her, of course. She needed them to help her find the Elements so she could defeat Discord. He had hurt her, taken her magic and her wings, and she would see him bow to her for it. Then she would make Starswirl pay. After that… who could say?
Celestia knew that she was thinking differently. Maybe some part of her even knew that what she was thinking was wrong. But she no longer cared about that, either. And not caring felt painless, fearless… wonderful.
The chattering, whispering quiet of the Everfree Forest was pierced by a shrill cry. The ponies’ ears perked up at the sound and they leapt to their hooves. That sounded like a pony! And it was close. Luna, Victory, and Page ran into the darkness, toward the sound of the scream.
In no hurry, Celestia followed.
They reached the source of the cry. High up in the dark trees, a massive web stretched between crooked branches, silvery threads gleaming in what faint light reached it through the treetops and from the ponies’ campfire, which burned a stone’s throw away. And there, tangled in the giant web, struggling and crying, her wings bent at odd angles in the sticky trap, was a lemon-colored pegasus.
“Help me!” she cried.
“Hold on,” said Luna, leaping into the air and flying up to where the tangled pegasus was. Her horn glowed, illuminating the pegasus’s shocked expression, before her spell dissolved the web.
A spider the size of a full-grown stallion jumped at the pegasus, fangs dripping dark fluid. With a yelp, the winged pony dodged it, just barely. Luna’s horn flashed and the giant spider shrieked as the spell struck it, knocking it back into the branches. There was a rustling noise as it climbed away into the darkness.
“Wait!” called Luna after it, sudden guilt stabbing her insides.
“What are you doing?” the pegasus said. “Let it go!”
“I might have hurt it!” Luna said. She was actually fond of spiders.
“It was going to eat me!” the pegasus whined.
Luna cocked her head. “I… suppose so,” she sighed.
Slowly she and the yellow pegasus drifted down to the ground, where Luna’s friends and sister waited. She noticed that Celestia’s expression showed not the slightest trace of concern and silently cursed Discord for whatever he had done to her.
Immediately the pegasus was bombarded by questions: “Are you okay?” “Who are you?” “What are you doing in the Everfree Forest?”
The pegasus filly shrank back from them, eyes darting from one concerned face to another. “Th-thank you for saving me,” she said.
Luna’s eyes narrowed. “Come on. Join us by our fire. You are safe now.”
Once they were safely back at their campsite, Luna got a better look at the young pony. Her mane was wispy and as white as a cloud, and her eyes, which gleamed eerily in the firelight, were a cold blue. Luna couldn’t help but notice that she hadn’t yet gotten a cutie mark.
“I’m Wind Chime,” she introduced herself, ruffling her wings and forcing a smile. “I’m sure glad you happened by when you did.”
“It was… fortuitous,” said Luna. She and Victory and Page introduced themselves.
Celestia, who looked bored, said nothing and watched Wind Chime carefully. The only question she cared about was whether this new pony would be a help or a hindrance to her in her quest.
“Why were you flying through the dark forest?”
Wind Chime swallowed. Her eyes lowered. “Oh! You’re a winged unicorn!” she exclaimed. “I never thought I’d see one.”
Victory and Page exchanged a glance. “You’ve heard of winged unicorns before?” Page asked. She was thinking of how much studying she had done before she had stumbled upon a reference in a fairy tale.
“Well, everypony in my village knows the legend,” Wind Chime said. “My village… that’s what I was doing, by the way. I mean, in the Everfree Forest. We live here.”
Looks of horror dawned on Page and Victory’s faces. Luna frowned. Celestia’s expression did not change, but her gray eyes sparkled with interest.
“You live… in the Everfree Forest?” Page croaked. “But nopony lives in the dark forest. It’s… it’s…”
“Dangerous,” Victory supplied.
“Exactly! I can’t even imagine a single pony wanting to live here, let alone an entire village.”
“Where is your village?” Luna asked.
“Oh. It’s deep in the forest,” Wind Chime answered. “We live in the darkest part of the forest, where the sun never shines.”
Page brightened. “The deepest, darkest part of the forest? Luna, it’s just like the book says!”
“Book?” Wind Chime asked, uncertainty flitting across her face.
Page leaned so close to the pegasus that their noses almost touched. “Do you know of a castle that the sun never touches?”
Wind Chime shrugged. “Maybe somepony in my village would know that. Where did you hear of such a place?”
“A legend. Maybe I’ll tell you if you tell me about where you heard of winged unicorns.”
The pegasus giggled. “Okay. The night is young. We can trade fairy tales.”
While Page and Luna entertained their guest, Victory’s eyes wandered back to her princess. Celestia had turned away from the group again, but every now and then Victory would see one of her gray ears twitch, and knew she was listening. What is she thinking? Victory wondered.
It would not have pleased her to know the answer to that.
“In my village there are legends of a great prince who used to rule the land… before the Everfree became the way it is now. His kingdom was said to have all kinds of ponies in it: earth ponies, pegasi, and unicorns. They all lived peacefully together. In fact, they lived in such harmony that sometimes ponies would have foals of different races. Can you imagine that? A unicorn having a pegasus child? But that was the way it was. And this prince was a winged unicorn. Because he was could not die, his reign lasted for centuries.”
Page listened with interest. Wind Chime’s legend seemed to confirm her theory that ponies had lived here before the three tribes had come to Equestria. What happened to them? Was Wind Chime’s village a remnant of that ancient civilization? Why did they live in the Everfree Forest?
“But if he was immortal, how did his reign ever end?”
“A sad story,” Wind Chime said. “Maybe you can tell me first what you want in a castle in the darkest part of the Everfree Forest?”
Page looked to Luna, who nodded and said, “We need some help. We can’t keep on wandering like this. My sister is…” Her voice caught and she looked away.
“We are looking for the Elements of Harmony,” Page said.
“The E-Elements?” said Wind Chime. Did she just shiver? Page thought. “But they don’t really exist.”
“We think they do, and they had better because we need them. I have a book that once belonged to the greatest unicorn wizard that ever lived, and in it there is a poem, written in the dragons’ language.” She intoned,
“In the heart of the shadowed wood
Where once the greatest power stood,
Before the Light of Harmony’s divide
And Cauchemar had chosen her side
Shall stand in darkness near complete
Stones the sun shall never meet:
Castle Dusk where love once failed,
And the end of Dreams was hailed,
Where fate decrees a choice still waits
The one who passes through Magic’s gates,
And bright Elements once were forged
For hearts that knew them long before.”
As the last line of the poem fell from Page’s lips, Wind Chime visibly trembled. She knows something, the unicorn thought.
“That sounds like something my village headpony would know about,” the pegasus said in a hushed voice.
“Then we would be honored if you would take us to your village,” Luna said.
Wind Chime nodded and flashed a grin. “I can’t let you try to get there on your own, after all. This forest can be dangerous for those that don’t live here.”
Nopony mentioned that she was the one that was nearly spider food.
That night, nopony in their little camp slept soundly. Their fitful dreams clawed and scratched at Luna, who eventually gave up on the idea of rest entirely and joined her sister, who stood watch, facing the darkness.
“What do you think?” she asked.
“I think she will help us find the Elements,” Celestia said without emotion.
“She’s hiding something.”
“I know.”
“Sister…”
Celestia did not answer. She wondered idly why Luna continued to call her sister, even when they were alone. Was she actually deceiving herself into believing the lie they had concocted to explain her existence to the unicorns? Love, she thought, rolling her eyes. It blinds everypony.
They passed the night in silence, bodies close enough to touch, hearts as far apart as the sun from the moon.
“What’s her story?” Wind Chime asked Victory the next day.
The pegasus was leading them to her village, which she assured them was only a two-day journey on hoof. With a tangible goal ahead of her, Celestia set a fast pace. Luna was worried for Page, who struggled to keep up. Wind Chime had a habit of never setting hoof on the ground when she did not need to, and so she flew around them in a way that reminded Victory of a bee buzzing around her head.
“She’s the princess of the unicorns,” said Victory.
“Really? But she’s not a unicorn.”
Victory found herself getting annoyed. “She is more than a unicorn. But she’s…” Oh great, she thought. Now I’m gonna go and cry in front of her.
“Is something wrong with her?”
“Go ahead and tell her, Victory,” said Celestia. She was smiling without any trace of kindness. The earth pony shivered.
“She’s my princess and my friend, but… this monster did something to her, and…” Victory hesitated.
“You don’t need to worry,” Celestia said. “I won’t mind whatever you are going to say. I promise you I won’t care.”
“That’s the problem!” Victory cried. Then, to Wind Chime, “She’s lost her heart!”
And that was when Wind Chime reacted in the last way any of them expected: she laughed. Her laughter was clear and musical, not the laughter of somepony who is finding amusement in somepony else’s calamity, but the sincere laugh of somepony who had just heard a hilarious joke for the first time.
Victory felt her ears grow hot and she asked through clenched teeth, “What is so amusing about that?”
“You can’t lose a heart,” said Wind Chime. “Hearts are powerful. They can be wounded and even broken. They can grow cold and they can be hidden, the way the sun is hidden by the clouds. But even then, all it takes is a strong enough wind and the gray sky will be broken through, and the light will shine again. Hearts are like that.” She was beaming, then she blushed suddenly and looked away. “Nothing as precious as a heart could ever be lost. Whatever has happened to your princess, she still has a heart.”
Victory looked at her gray princess, who was not the least bit moved by Wind Chime’s little speech. Her colorless coat did sort of remind Victory of a gray sky. She gave Celestia a watery smile. Princess… shine again. Please…
“You’re okay, Chime,” Victory said. “I think we could be friends.”
The pegasus blushed an even deeper rose. “All of you need to cheer up. I’m the one who lives in the spooky Everfree Forest and every single one of you is gloomier than me.”
The mismatched band of fillies walked all day. They spent the hours talking. Mostly it was Victory and Page and Wind Chime that did the talking. Her natural shyness and the fact that she felt like the burden of leadership was on her made Luna quiet. And Celestia barely uttered a word. By the end of the second day since meeting Wind Chime, only hours from their destination, they already felt that they were becoming fast friends.
That was when they were ambushed.
It happened so suddenly that Luna did not have time to cast a spell. There was a rustling in the dark brush surrounding them and things leapt out. The fading daylight that filtered through the treetops revealed creatures that were made of wood, with broken branches for claws and teeth—teeth they clamped on Victory and Celestia’s necks before the glow of magic could light the horns of Luna and Page.
“Surrender, ponies!” a sharp voice hissed, Luna couldn’t tell from where.
Luna glared and her horn shone with near-blinding light. A few of the wooden beasts drew back, but the ones that had their fangs around pony necks tightened their grip, piercing coat and skin until Victory cried out.
“They die,” said the voice. It seemed to be coming from all around them. Luna didn’t know where to fire her spell, and even if she did, she might not be fast enough to save her sister and Victory. Even her dream-weaving and illusions needed a moment to prepare. With her friends’ lives in the balance she did not dare attempt it. Bitterly, she let the magic fade from her horn.
“I surrender,” she said with dangerous softness.
Page followed her example, eyes wide with fear. A wooden beast scooped her up and closed her in a cage of jagged claws. A thorny vine wrapped itself around Luna, tightening around her neck like a noose.
“If you summon a single drop of magic…” The voice let the threat hang in the air.
They were caught. Luna blamed herself. They had let their guard down since Wind Chime had offered to guide them to her village, trusting that the pegasus knew the forest around her home.
That was when she noticed that Wind Chime was the only one that wasn’t in the claws of one of the wooden beasts. Her ice blue eyes watched with pity as they were carried off into the darkness.
They were taken to the place Wind Chime had called her village, but it was not a village for ponies. Glowing parasprites hovered in the darkness, giving the dark village its only light, a sickly green glow that covered everything. Page saw manticores and burly minotaurs, scaly creatures from her books that she’d never thought she’d see in real life, a cockatrice that shot her a glance, prompting her to clamp her eyes shut until they were carried even deeper. When she opened them again she wished she hadn’t.
A great black dragon met Page’s gaze and she thought she would wet herself. Its eyes glowed like hot coals, searing their way into her. Drool fell from its slimy lips in thick ropes. The monster flexed leathery wings and stretched a body covered with glistening dark scales that looked like wet stones.
“Welcome to our humble coven, ponies,” his voice rumbled. Then his burning eyes found Wind Chime, who stood before him without any trace of fear, as if he couldn’t devour her with a single snap of his jaws. “Are you certain that one of these is the one? They don’t look like much to me.”
The pegasus filly bowed her head. “I’m sure.”
“Y-You…” Victory’s strangled voice rang out in spite of the wooden teeth clamped around her throat, “…traitor!”
The dragon frowned, his glowing eyes sweeping from Luna to Page to Victory, and finally to Celestia, who stared back at him without feeling.
“Take them to the cages. I will ask the priestess which one she wants.”
Wind Chime nodded and gave an order to the wooden beasts, who took the ponies away. They were locked up in cages made out of the same living wood that the beasts were made out of. Luna felt a twisted magic coursing through every branch and thorn. She drew her wings close and tried her best not to touch the bars of her prison.
“Why are you doing this?” Victory asked.
“You wouldn’t understand,” said Wind Chime. All the joy that had seemed to possess her over the last two days was gone. It was as if she were a completely different pony. To Luna she said, “Don’t try to escape. I know you are powerful, but if you try to cast a spell, the cages will know and they will kill your friends.” As if to punctuate this statement, sharpened spikes that lined the bars of the cages quivered.
“You’re right. I don’t understand,” Victory said. “What is a pony doing living with a bunch of monsters?”
Wind Chime did not answer.
“What do they want with us?” Page asked, finding her voice for the first time since coming face to face with the dragon.
“They don’t want all of you. Just one. A suitable offering for our goddess.”
“Goddess?” Celestia asked, raising one gray eyebrow.
“Yes. She has chosen one of you.”
“Which one?”
“The one whose heart is as dark as her own.”
“That is none of us,” Luna said.
“Are you so sure?” Wind Chime’s cold eyes lingered on Celestia.
“You can’t have the princess!” Victory said.
“I’m not the one who wants her.”
“I won’t let your stupid goddess have her, either.”
“What choice do you have? You are an earth pony. You don’t even have magic to call upon. Tonight, a great friendship will be destroyed. And with its death, our goddess shall finally have a doorway into this world. The power of light will be shattered and the night will las—”
“You want to destroy a friendship?” Page interrupted, shaking her head. “How can you even think about doing that?” She glanced at Victory. “We could have been your friends. We would have. Why would you want to serve a goddess that wants you to be alone? Do you even have a heart?”
“No!” Wind Chime shouted with sudden fury. “I don’t! I’m not like you ponies with your precious hearts and friendship and love. I was born empty.”
“What are you talking about? Nopony is born empty.”
The pegasus filly smiled a horrible crooked smile. “I never told you the rest of that legend, did I? The one you were so keen about hearing before. You want to know the truth, Page Sparkle? About the kingdom of peace you admire from your fairy tales?
“Once there was a prince who ruled a magical kingdom. He wasn’t any ordinary prince, either; he was the chosen bearer of an Element of Harmony. The prince wielded the Element of Laughter. Then the one you ponies call the Enemy struck him down. He died. He should have stayed dead.
“But then a,” she spat the word, “phoenix made a choice. For the sake of Harmony it gave its life to save the noble prince, and brought him back from the dead, an alicorn. The kingdom of Harmony thrived for centuries under his rule. But the power of darkness waited, and one day it found a way to the prince’s heart. He fell in love with a pony that grew old and died, and everything changed. He lost all joy, and the power of Laughter was finally broken. Eventually his heart was corrupted and fell to the darkness. He betrayed Harmony and the power of friendship and led his entire kingdom astray. The once-peaceful ponies learned hatred and cruelty. They fell to the Enemy, who cursed them, turning them into living ghosts without hearts.
“The last scraps of the forces of light fought against the lost prince, but how do you defeat somepony who is immortal? It took the might of the phoenix court itself to subdue him. They cast him into the well of life and the light swallowed him once again, but this time he brought corruption with him. His soul was torn into pieces, but still he could not die. Eventually his spirit was recast from countless twisted lives, not as an alicorn anymore, but something even greater. No longer bound by Harmony, a creature of pure chaos… who once was Laughter.”
“Discord,” Luna growled.
“Yes. But what of his little ponies? The ones your Enemy cursed? I am young, but I have heard the story of how my race was born. How we were made to feed on hatred. You are the smart one, Page. Have you figured it out yet?”
Page’s face had lost its color. “You can’t be. You’re a pegasus pony!”
“A glamour, a trick of magic our priestess taught me so I could find a pony whose heart is as cold as that of our goddess. But don’t be fooled. I have no heart of my own. What I do have is cold…”
The temperature in the air dropped so low they could see their breath. Frost formed on the wooden bars of the cages. And then, with no more use for deception, Wind Chime’s disguise cracked and shattered into thousands of frozen pieces and she hovered before them, a living ghost, her ice-blue eyes glowing, mane streaming.
“What?!” Victory said, unable to accept it.
“She’s a windigo!” Page said.
“Indeed,” Wind Chime spoke in a voice like ice cracking. “Another monster, born to serve the Arch-Enemy of Friendship, Cauchemar.” On her cheeks, Luna noticed two frozen trails. Tears? “Or, as the sad, stupid ponies who became my race called her long ago… the Nightmare.”
Read it will give a detailed comment soon.
I hope they fix Celestia soon...if not for the fact that they need someone without a heart for the ritual, although being honest they might just nab Luna years later and turn her into Nightmare Moon, then because they need her to fight discord.
My god! This is great, favorited. Although, I don't really like how celestia is discorded right now, think you can fix that in the near future? I look forward to reading more.
2811077 I concur
All right. Very nice, but I don't think this origin for Discord matches what the show has told us (not that it isn't good and interesting). Also, rhymes don't translate.
Still, things are getting very good and interesting.
I enjoyed this chapter, as I am enjoying this story. Though, I am looking forward to Discord's defeat. I guess this is one of the down sides for doing a story like this. We know the final conclusion, at least in the Celestia vs Discord part, simply because we know what happens a few thousand years in the future. Though, I guess you could shake things up and change some stuff around
Just a note, this line was a little confusing because it wasn't clear which pony Wind Chime was asking about.
2811516 We don't really have much on the origin of Discord, cannon lore at least. Really the only thing that we know of him is that he caused ponies to live in a world of chaos and then Celestia and Luna used the Elements of Harmony to strike him down.
2812722 We know that he never had a friend before Fluttershy.
2812941 Not necessarily. We just know that he doesn't remember having a friend before Fluttershy.
2810986>>2811116 I won't leave Celestia Discorded for too long.
2811077>>2811132 Thanks!
2811516 Thank you. There is a saying that the thing that is lost when you translate poetry is the poetry. (But some translated poems do rhyme; the rhymes are just different than the original. Some translated songs do this.) Uh oh; maybe I didn't make Discord's origin clear enough. What I was going for was that he was not Discord before. So he really did never have a friend. That was another life. Is there anything of that old existence left in him? Maybe a sliver, but it's lost in the chaos. Now he is Discord, something the phoenix court never expected and can't control.
2812722 Thanks! (Personal pronouns are my nemeses.) Yeah, that's the challenge with the story. Everyone knows what's going to happen to Discord, and Luna. I try my best to spice things up and add things so that the readers can think, Well, maybe it did happen like that. But hopefully there's enough mystery, and questions like, "How did Celestia and Luna discover the Elements of Harmony so they could defeat him?"
And there is a running main story with Starswirl and his master plan, the Nightmare, and Celestia's destiny. (There are little things here and there, such as the poem in this chapter, and the fairy mythology that is connected to Luna's origin. All of this, if I do it right, is leading somewhere, so that the reader has a thread of mystery in a story that often tells you exactly what is going to happen even before it does.)
Thanks for reading, everyone! Next up: My Celestia (Which should have been the title of this part of the story, but I broke the chapter into two for dramatic effect. You're welcome.)
2813457 Looking forward to it!
Though, I guess at this point I'd say I'm pretty interested in the world building. You've built a pretty cool world and I loving seeing more of it.
Well shit...
Awesomeness is over9000!!!
Can't wait for more.
2813929 Indeed.
2814618 Thanks!
The whole time, I was thinking Changelings, so the Windigo thing threw me for a loop. Good Job.
2814693 WELCOME :D
2814700 Thank you. (I'm saving the changelings for later...) I love the windigos as the show represented them: these ghostlike beings, like living winds or ice elementals or something, but feeding on hatred. (Also, I like how they are like the opposite of phoenixes.)
I always wondered what happened to the country the pony tribes left to come to Equestria, the land that was lost to Winter...
2814777 There are some headcanons that believe that it was Paradise Valley from Gen 1. Or that it's what is labeled as the Frozen North on the official Equestrian Map.
2812946>>2813457 Fair enough. It does leave some dark implications for what will happen when Fluttershy dies though.
2811516>>2813457 I'm afraid I have spotted a hole in your plot.
The origin of Discord that you have depicted in the narration in chapter ten. More than having a hard time matching the show, it's missing one key element.
Draconequus: Discord species has being mentioned to be the one creature to be stronger than an Alicorn according to Phoenix and Clover the Clever.
Why is he now more powerful than he was as an Alicorn.
Where did discord receive the extra power.
How was this power created.
So that wasn't his true origin, or it wasn't the whole story.
If this is the story you want to use then please make sure you provide an explanation for his power.
I'm not sure why , but I feel is rather important.
Thank you for another great chapter, I didn't expect you to get into Nightmaremoon until many years after Discord, I am happy when the author doesn't mess around and gets strait to the point. However I still expect you to take at least another ten chapters before you finish CiE.
2815555 Think positive Discord is likely to make more relationships as the show progresses.
He is one of the most popular secondary characters, and he clearly has a lot to learn about friendship. XD
God Damn this story is AMAZING!
2815622 Hmm... I think part of the problem is that I've relayed Discord's origin through Wind Chime, who is young and knows it as a legend/story. Maybe I need to clarify things, show things from the phoenixes' point of view. There was a corrupted alicorn and to defeat him, the phoenixes imprisoned him in the well of life (where Celestia was born as an alicorn in chapter two), but because he was corrupted by the Nightmare, he poisoned the well with chaos (mentioned briefly in the same chapter), which is why monsters like cockatrices and manticores were born. All of that life force took him apart and recast him, very like what happened to Celestia but twisted by chaos, and he was remade as a draconequus.
An alicorn's power comes from all the "stuff" of life that goes into making one. So Celestia is a composite creature with earth pony, pegasus, unicorn, phoenix, and maybe even other lives as a part of her. (Luna has half of Celestia's power, but she was not made into an alicorn in the "usual" way, so she retains certain fairy powers, such as her dreamwalking and illusion magic.) Discord, as a draconequus, basically has all the lifeforce that goes into making an alicorn + all the twisted/chaos-born monster life forces, which is why he is more powerful. (Once he was freed by Philomena, the phoenix court can't just imprison him again, because while an alicorn may have been defeated by an army of phoenixes, a creature that can warp reality has nothing to fear from them. Essentially there is only one force powerful enough to stop him now.)
(Okay, I have a place where I can conveniently go into this in a natural way two chapters from now, so I'm going to do it. I want everything to make sense to those who are following this story and not feel like I just pulled it out of my... er... hat. Thanks for letting me know that I need to fix up my exposition!)
Yeah, there are quite a few chapters left, I'm afraid. I try not to dally, but I want to take as much time for Luna's character arc as it deserves.
2815555 To be honest, I had this origin in mind for a while, even before the Fluttershy/Discord episode, and even then that never occurred to me!
2815695 Thank you!
2815820 I like it,
Don't worry about making the story too long at this point.
personally, the more chapters you feed me the better .
I'm currently sucked at the middle of a 160K word story. Lines and Webs, and then it has a second part with 250K.
The only thing that you should really be concerned is yourself, because with publishing a single chapter or so per month, with all likelihood you will be still writing CiE a year from now.
I hope that isn't too much of a mind blown because a lot can happen in a year.
anyhow thank you for the response and explanation.
2815893 Ha ha! I just want to finish it before the show airs an episode that doesn't match up with the canon I've got going here. (Hmm... hopefully I'll update a bit more often. The next chapter should come quicker than this one, at least. And the chapter after that will be a short one. Let's see how much I can get written tonight!)
That is a nasty, nasty pit to get stuck in. It is cold, withering, and you end up so very alone and isolated. brrrr...
"Please don't go..."
"We will protect you forever!"
Shades of Story of the Blanks here.
What is a pony? A miserable little pile of friendship!
Damn. Those technicalities sure can be a killer.
blink. blink.
Whoah. That certainly is an epic backstory. "Nightmare Discord" certainly has a sinister ring to it. It certainly explains why he and Pinkie can relate to one another.
2820278 Thanks! I've never read Story of the Blanks. Is it good?
Well, Discord did say in The Return of Harmony, "and Pinkie Pie's is a personal favorite of mine: Laughter."
2820803
Story of the Blanks is actually a little creepy-pasta, NES style flash game by Donitz (nothing too squicky or terrible; it would probably rate a low 12 in the UK / PG-13 in the US).
If you have ever wondered where those pictures of Applebloom and the red/black zombie ponies came from, look no further.
Here is one of the best art pieces (IMHO) derived from the game:
fc03.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/225/a/9/story_of_blanks_by_slightly_stratus-d46e1bz.gif
Story of Blanks by Slightly-Stratus
You can play the game on DeviantArt here
2888719 Thank you so much. It actually does get a few more likes/favorites every time I update, so... I just need to post more chapters! (On that note, chapter eleven is finished and with my pre-reader right now. Hope to have it up soon.)
Thanks for reading!