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More Stories9

  • T When Suddenly a Manticore...

    So what is the deal with all these humans who go to the Everfree Forest and fight manticores anyway? Well sit down, kids, and let grandpa tell you the whole story.
    7,344 words · 2,160 views  ·  251  ·  3
  • E Discord: House of Chaos

    A recently freed Discord tries to reform a pair of thieves in a chaotic game.
    10,435 words · 2,679 views  ·  160  ·  4
  • T Discord: Part of a Pantheon

    In the depths of space, Discord and an old enemy come face to face.
    1,501 words · 270 views  ·  41  ·  0
  • T Discord: End of Empires

    This is not the story of how the Dragon Empire fell. This is the story of why it happened.
    8,120 words · 458 views  ·  61  ·  1
  • T World of Traitors

    Imprisoned in Tartarus once more, Tirek tries to rationalise what he did.
    1,055 words · 280 views  ·  36  ·  0
  • T Decomposition

    The last moments of King Sombra.
    4,439 words · 639 views  ·  83  ·  3
  • T Van Helsing

    The life and adventures of a famous vampire hunter.
    16,642 words · 734 views  ·  75  ·  4 · gore
  • T War Machine

    After a mysterious phantom reveals to a young unicorn that many of his memories are false, he sets out with him to make it right again.
    54,420 words · 970 views  ·  65  ·  9

Blog Posts108

  • Friday
    File 7GBQ-RR3S2654B: DISCORD

    Taking a suggestion I got, I've now discovered a use for the forums on my new group, the Borderworld. As it is a group dedicated specifically to this world I'm trying to create, I've decided to use it to host supplementary material for all my fics set in it. As an example of how this'll go, I've started with File 7GBQ-RR3S2654B: DISCORD, a backup piece to Part of a Pantheon for those who wanted to know more about this version of Discord in the context of a wider universe, and what exactly his presence means for everyone living out there in the cosmos.

    It's not exactly a story, as it's more of an in-universe document, but it is 3K words, longer than the fic it's based upon. I won't be making blog posts like this every time I add something there from now on, as I expect to add a lot to it over time there. So if you're interested in seeing more stuff like this in the future, join the group and turn on thread notifications. Otherwise, feel free to ignore it.

    1 comments · 38 views
  • 2w, 2d
    The Borderworld

    Ahem. Yes. Well, long-time followers? Do you remember like ages and ages ago when I kept making references to something called the "Secretverse", of which House of Chaos and Decomposition were meant to be a part of? Well, the project went through a few retools, including a name change, but I think I'm finally ready to work on it in earnest now that Human's out of the way. And so I made a group for it. It's got an icon, a banner, everything.

    From now on, you can expect the vast majority of everything I write to be a part of this. Not everything, mind, but most of it.

    Join it, or don't. Whatever you want. I-I mean, i-it's not like I care or anything...

    5 comments · 63 views
  • 2w, 4d
    This Is Bad And You Should Feel Bad: Episode 5 - The Holy Trinity, Part 2

    Creating and developing a character is probably the most insanely hard thing for a completely inexperienced writer to do. A character is a person, and we all know how complex people can be. There are so many elements, a lot of people don't know where to begin. Now, I'm one of the lucky ones who this came more naturally to, and by the time I started writing ponyfic, I'd already basically figured it out. However, years later, I would happen to read a compedium of advice on how to write good characters, which I thought did a damn good job of explaining how it's done if you don't already know.

    With that in mind, I'd like to give some acknowledgements before this blog begins, and say that a lot of my advice here will be paraphrasing from one Mr. Perry. No, not John Perry (although you should be reading his blogs anyway), but David Perry, author of David Perry on Game Design. Yeah, not the most obvious source for good advice on writing characters, I know, but bear with me here.

    If you read episode three, you'll already know how divide to characters by importance depending on their role, but once you've decided to start work on creating, for example, your hero, you'll need to start thinking of basic characteristics. David Perry singles out seven of the most central characteristics as the character's age, ethnicity, gender, economic status, social status, marital status, and name. Here, right away, we face an important choice in how we want to approach character creation. How much is fiction, and how much is reality?

    When creating a character, it's natural for us to draw on personal experience. This is a double-edged sword in many respects.

    If you put a lot of yourself into a character, then it may help you write them more realistically. If you write what you know, then what you write could be more genuine and true to life, potentially resulting in a more complex character and a greater nuance and understanding of that character and what they've been through. For example, if we're writing a story about what it's like to be on the receiving end of homophobia, a homosexual author who has indeed been on the receiving end of homophobia will obviously have a lot more insight than most.

    However, the flipside to this is that by investing too much of yourself into a character, you lose objectivity. You develop a bias, and it affects your judgement as an author. An author must be able to use their characters as tools to create a story with. If you start thinking of them like real people because of the real people you see in those characters, then you'll start acting on those biases through your power as an author. A self-insert is so often a Mary Sue because the author can't treat themselves as mere characters, and are unwilling to put their insert through the conflict that a good story needs, instead preferring to keep the author insert generally happy, like they'd want to be. That shit can't ever happen, or you've already failed. If you're writing an epic adventure story and you realise that it'd be really poetic and fitting if the main character died at the end, you need to be able to kill them, which you won't do if they're a surrogate for your beloved real life sister whose tragic death you're still mourning.

    Alternatively to this, you could get creative. If you write what's unfamiliar, then you give yourself greater freedom to act as an author within the best interests of the story, with the caveat that you'd better make damn sure you know what you're doing first.

    When creating Second for Human, I made a conscious effort to do something different with him. Many HiE stories have protagonists between seventeen and twenty-five year old, because that's the age of most of the bronies who write those kinds of stories, and they write what's familiar. I did not want familiar. I explicitly wanted a character, and I put very little of myself in him by making him as different from me as possible. So subsequently, he's a far older character than me, with a whole lifetime of experiences already behind him, and I just had to put myself in his mindset and think creatively when in my writer's chair. It's more demanding to do, but I think it's worth it to produce the best story possible.

    Once you've decided how you're going to approach character creation and came up with those seven central characteristics, then we need to start thinking about smaller ones. It's the little things that make us who we are, so let's think about that. Create a character with me right now in your head. Decide on their seven cental characteristics, and then as we go through this, answer my questions about them and fill in the details with me.

    What does the character do as a job? Are they unemployed, self employed? Blue collar worker? Office job? Are they a bigwig suit working on a board of directors? What do they fear? What are they afraid of? What are their hobbies that they do in their spare time? Or what are their general activities? Where do they hang out, who do they associate with? Who are their friends? Do they have pets? What's their favourite food, or music, or form of entertainment? What about sexuality? What are their sexual preferences? How do they manage stress?

    Then you can think about other things about them, like their usual emotional states and moods. Are they cheerful? Angry and bitter? Uncaring? Stoic?

    Consider the situation that introduces them into the story. How do they meet the protagonist, or how do they make their entrance if they are the protagonist? First impressions count for a lot, and could determine much of the entire dynamic between two characters. What are the character's goals? They must have something they want to accomplish, whether they actually do or not. This motivation may be what drives them throughout the story. Consider how they will change over time trying to meet those goals, i.e. the character arc. They should ideally be different somehow when the story ends from how they were at the beginning (a vengeful man lets go of his hate, a naive young woman becomes world-wise and shrewd, an aging retiree gains a new lease on life, etc.)

    Traits and quirks are something to think about too. Any of those? Maybe a character scratches their nose a lot, or has long hair and has to brush it out of their eyes routinely? Or maybe they have a weird way of walking? Real people have a lot of these sorts of traits. What about behavioural traits? Might they ask a lot of questions, as if distrustful of others? Yell and curse if they don't get what they want? Not react well to change? Or constantly lie about themselves to be appear better to others? Are there any speech traits? Stuttering? Fast or slow talking? Have a common word of expression, (think Big Mac's distinctive catchphrase)? Accents or dialect? And then there are action traits. Lighting up a pipe or cigarette when nervous, sweating profusely, drinking a lot, scratching, eyeing up attractive women, walking with a limp, all sorts.

    Contrasting traits are the most interesting, like a tough and mean character afraid of spiders, or a brutal, evil character who has a soft spot for children or animals, or a magnificent performer who is shy and socially awkward off stage. Things like that. They make for interesting dynamics, and something that could be explored.

    Flaws and limitations versus strengths is also important. Strengths and flaws could be emotional, physical, or in terms of skill or ability. When thinking of flaws, think back to fears. Indiana Jones has a major flaw in his extreme fear of snakes, that often pose an obstacle to him when he's raiding old ruins and tombs, while his strength comes in his tenacity and intelligence, and physical prowess that allow him to overcome traps or fight off his enemies.

    Think about a character's religious or spiritual beliefs, or their morality. Their sense of humour, if they have any. Their relations with the other characters and how they interact with them. Do they have any special abilities or powers? What's their usual means of transportation? Think about their family background, particularly parents, siblings, grandparents, or anyone else they might be close to. The people closest to you often shape who you are, and you can often shed some insight into what makes a character who they are by exploring family background.

    You should also give thought to the kind of story this character is in, and how the situation would affect them and that character's individual goals in relation to that setting. What story are you wanting to write about this character? Revenge? Self discovery? Identity issues? Stranger in a strange land? Romance? War time? Social drama or comedy? There's a million different ways a character could act in those stories depending on who the character is. Make sure the character matches the story and vice versa.

    These are all things that can help in developing a character, because each of these things I've listed and made you think about can all affect who we are and how we behave in day to day life. A character who experiences or possesses all the qualities that you've decided about them from reading these paragraphs will act a certain way. Decide those details about their life, and follow them to their logical conclusion. A character abandoned by their parents at a young age for example might be very sympathetic to or protective of children, and this could be apparent in their interactions with them.

    What's important to remember, though, is that though you've decided on all these background details about your character, you don't need to show them all or explain them all. What's truly important is that they're in your head. You visualise your character, and knowing all those details about them, you have the information in your head to write them a certain way. Your audience doesn't need to know a character's life story, but you, the author, know their life story, and you know exactly why they're doing everything that they do. You write your characters with depth that way.

    This can come out in the most simple of ways. You have two characters, henchmen of the main bad guy, and they have to kill some woman for their boss. Even though these characters are minor, and the audience will never learn their backstories, I've decided in my head that one of them is a cold, professional type who doesn't care about morality, but that the other was once a good man who lost his way, and that he doesn't truly belong in this line of work. The audience will never learn the backstory of either of these men. They just appear in this one scene. But with those backstories in my head, I can build a dynamic and interesting relationship between these characters for their single scene, perhaps with the more moral of the two unable to watch as his partner does the job, or expressing mild contempt for him when he's not around.

    If you do this with every character who gets a place of prominence in a scene, using this method of crafting an unseen complete profile which you use to inform the logical actions the character takes that we do see, then that character will be doing so in a way that feels natural, and every moment where they take an action that is informed by their character that you have fully formed in your head, the reader learns more about that character, gradually working out the details for themselves through the hints you provide. It makes a circle. They take certain actions because they are a complex character, and we learn about how complex a character they are through these actions. Great, isn't it?

    Ideally, though, you want to keep it simple. There's this thing called a character diamond. This is a creation of David Perry's, I believe. A character diamond posits that you should be able to point to five distinctive traits about a character that will make them interesting (three if they are a minor character). Any less, and they might be considered a little flat. Any more than that and the reader is bored by the convolusion of it all.

    Let's use Discord as an example of a five-point character, and break him down to get our diamond:

    1. He is the Spirit of Chaos, and chaos defines much of his personality, especially his sense of humour.

    2. Discord has great powers, which he frequently uses to either wreak havoc or amuse himself, but he has limits.

    3. His body is a bizarre mishmash of a number of different creatures, representative of his chaotic nature.

    4. He only rarely feels empathy, and as such, he can be very cruel and selfish depending on circumstances.

    5. Discord is arrogant to the point of overconfidence, and is often humbled by a surprise defeat he didn't see coming.

    As we can see, Discord fits neatly into five-point character diamond, being exactly as complex as his importance to FiM's story suggests he should be. However, it's very easy to overdo it, even for major characters. It's a rare character who can get away with having too many unique traits for five points to describe. This is why it's also good to avoid piling up those traits. Your OC doesn't need to be a half-pony hybrid and a long lost relative of one of the main six and the secret seventh Element of Harmony and cursed by an evil wizard. That way, Suedom lies.

    I would talk more on the subject of how to not make a Mary Sue, but in all honesty, I don't think it's necessary. Just heed the advice I've already given to make your character complex and flawed, keep the character diamond in mind, make sure that they're not the centre of the universe and you don't have a bias towards them as an author, and just try not to be an idiot. Besides, I think too many writers nowadays are too worried about trying to not make Sues. They get so hung up on not being bad that they forget to try to be good. Don't be one of those people.

    But writing good characters isn't always easy, and you can never hear enough good advice, so anyone who still has questions can feel free to ask me in the comments.

    2 comments · 70 views
  • 3w, 2d
    That's right!

    TWO Halloween stories this year, bitches. Discord: Part of a Pantheon, and chapter 1 of my new multi-part horror story, The Winter. Get on my level, plebs.

    ...Yeah, but seriously, happy Halloween. I know I don't usually post stories or updates for holidays, but I think I'm going to start. Maybe I'll have something for Christmas this year, too, hmmmmm?

    As for Just Dodge!, the story which everybody is actually expecting from me, it is complete and ready to post, I swear. I'm just waiting on my cover art. Patience, my children. Any day now.

    0 comments · 55 views
  • 5w, 1d
    DANNYJ REVIEWS: MY LITTLE PONY: FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC: EQUESTRIA GIRLS: RAINBOW ROCKS: REVENGE OF THE UNICORN GOD-SLAYER: PART 2: THE RETURN

    I guess since it's all we have to talk about in hiatus that actually has something to do with a show, we should discuss the latest Equestria Girls movie, which I finally had the privilege of seeing the other night, thanks to a based /mlp/ anon who uploaded a high-quality rip to Dailymotion. You know who you are, anon. You're a cool dude.

    So anyway, before I get to talking about Rainbow Rocks, I should probably talk a little about the first movie, since I didn't do a review-style a blog like this after I saw that, even though some of my long-time followers will remember me making a blog around that time telling the sandwich-board doompaulers to calm the fuck down.

    To make a very long story short, I thought the first Equestria Girls was a mediocre movie that I nonetheless had a lot of fun with. I went in giving it a fair chance, hoping (if not expecting) that it would be genuinely good. It wasn't, and if you want my exact reasoning, I think it best to point you towards Tommy Oliver's four-part video series on the movie, which broke down the core issues for me pretty conclusively (while also being a pretty funny homage to Red Letter Media's (also hilarious) Star Wars prequel series reviews). But despite how seriously I treat my writing, I very rarely get super srs about my horse cartoons, and I didn't become part of the ball of rage that most of the rest of the fandom at the time turned into. I just thought it was kind of stupid, in the same way that True Blood is stupid, or Shadow the Hedgehog is stupid. But I enjoy that kind of stupid just fine. So I guess I liked it.

    Now, Rainbow Rocks in comparison is a far better movie in pretty much all the technical aspects. The story was tighter, characters were more interesting, the soundtrack was great, and think even the animation has been stepped up a level, too. Additionally, I think a lot of the fan references this time were simultaneously both a lot more overt but a lot more well-handled. A lot of them seemed to have actual purpose this time. Like, Octavia, Vinyl and Lyra all have music-themed cutie marks, so it makes perfect sense for them to show up and get some screentime here. And Trixie was actually a fairly important character here, with her own B-plot and everything.

    Sunset Shimmer and the Dazzlings were the real highlight of the movie for me. The Dazzlings had really good villain songs, and Sunset was well-used as a character. I'd argue that she's actually more of a main character than Twilight is this time, and I wouldn't mind her carrying forward the EG series as the new protagonist, because she's clearly got the potential for it.

    Flash Sentry was in the movie less this time, which I guess is a positive for anyone with a hateboner for that character. Personally, I never really minded him in the first movie and just thought he was kind of bland. For what it's worth, his few scenes in this movie did go some way towards giving him something resembling a real personality, even if it's kind of undone by the fact that it was all magic from the Dazzlings. He still doesn't really have much of a point to being there, but after EG1, his presence kind of had to be addressed.

    My only real point of contention is that the main six minus Twilight in this world were all a lot more aggressive towards each other than was warranted. I'd heard plenty of talk before watching about how Rainbow Dash was a cunt in this movie, and I just kinda rolled my eyes at that; Dash is probably the one pony who gets the most undeserved flak from the fandom, largely because a lot of the people who so deeply despise her utterly fail to grasp the point of her character and look at all her actions the wrong way. However, in this movie... yeah. She was being a cunt. Almost to the point that I'd call it out-of-character. The other four have much the same problem, just in a less pronounced way. I get the purpose of emphasising their negative traits this way, but it still feels disingenuous to me.

    Other than that... really, I think most of my remaining core criticisms for the movie are rooted in its concept and in things carried over from its prequel, which is hardly a fair thing to critique it for, as there's little it can do about that. But those carryover elements are still mostly of the "enjoyably stupid" variety, at least for me, rather than anything that caused real irritation. And everything else was handled about as well as I could really expect. There are minor plotholes and a few small elements I could nitpick, but overall, it was pretty solid compared to the last movie. It was the difference between laughing at Spiderman 3 and laughing at an early Simpsons episode, if you get my meaning.

    So I was satisified. It's not so brilliant that it transcends its concept and allows you to take it as seriously as the show (so if the concept is the main reason you hated Equestria Girls, it may not change your mind), but anyone who was willing to give the first movie a fair chance should know that this one delivers in a way that EG1 did not. Give it a watch.

    4 comments · 401 views
  • ...
 2,638
 23,357

In Equestria's far future, one thousand and five years after the return, a dysfunctional group of argumentative ponies must quest to defeat the most dangerous enemy of Equestria to ever live; the malevolent Lord Second, one of the only known members of the race of elder gods known as the humans, and the ancient cult who worships him, the Brotherhood of Man.

An over-the-top surrealist comedy, with slight serious elements. Expect a steady decline into insanity.

Cancelled, due to reasons of severe cranial trauma

Published on Equestria Daily, and now with a YouTube audio reading, and prequel spin-off stories, Shades of Grey, by Draven Eclipse and Van Helsing.

First Published
30th Dec 2011
Last Modified
8th Sep 2014

"Vault 3G, that's the Elements of Harmony...4K...the uncensored history books. 9F, the alien spaceship, 4Q, Luna's foalhood drawings, 4Z, Metal Gear, 3D, those damn glasses, 5T, the elder scroll, 2W, that compass that doesn't point north"

epic, so bucking epic :rainbowlaugh:

MOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!

"4Q, Luna's foalhood drawings, 4Z, Metal Gear, 3D, those damn glasses, 5T, the elder scroll" This right here :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

Oh god this is awesome, I'll keep on reading it :pinkiehappy:

Also, I'm pretty sure that those glasses are mine :raritywink:

-Glassed

SO GOOD!MOOOAAARRRR!!!

Oh I loved this xD I couldn't help but keep smirking through the entire thing.

I hate Human in Equestria stories on principle, because they're all usually the same, and there are new original ideas.

But I see now, I was wrong. :pinkiesmile:

More please! :pinkiehappy:

Thats... interesting. Waiting for more.

"Their clothing would have disguised them perfectly were it not for that. Even though some were unicorns, some were pegasi, some were earth ponies, and at least one of them was a huge zebra"...wait a sec, A HUGE ZEBRA?!:pinkiegasp:

As may have said before me... MOAR, I NEED MOAR. (That means great fic, keep up the good work x9001)

I'm withholding judgement based on two things.

Number one, are we ever going to have ponies whose names aren't just things? (Iron Hoof, Gold Coin, Etc.)

And number two, has Second matured any since being statue'd? Because I'm sure as heck not going to sit through an entire fic of that if I can help it.

Need more! Just too awsome for words!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

that was great!.. and alien spaceship? lol! and why would there be 3D glasses they don't even have television? or do they! this also proves those consperasy ponies were right after all!

can't wait for the next chapter:pinkiehappy:

*GASP* Metal Gear! We meet again!

Original idea, love how humans aren´t affected by magic

Buck, I left my window open...

:twilightblush:

5 stars and tracked!

Axz

I like this story, its going to be fun to see what happens when they revive the human, will he be resentfully, hatefully or forgiving, friendly, will he hate evryone for imprisoning him... etc

regardless this is gonna be a blast reading whatever you have in store for us:pinkiesmile::pinkiesmile:  

Love the vaults, cannot wait to read more!:pinkiehappy:

Wow very different from most HiE fics as Axz said. Need moar. :pinkiehappy:

Sir, your story is way too amazing. I especially like the characterization of the humans (from Celestia's recalls). Theres also this sort of sacarstic replies made by different characters that really makes me laugh IRL. And this sentence is awesome >>>> "When ghosts wanted to scare each other, they told human stories"

MMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAARRRRRR

:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

Great set-up and the humans. I especially love the humans interacting in Celestia's memories. It really seems that they weren't very malicious but could also be incredibly malicious. Gives an air of mystery to the humans. Can't wait for the next chapter!

Already, I can tell I'm gonna like this! I personally (ponyally?) think we need more human fics on this site. Maybe even add it as a category.

i lol'd at the dragon heart reference:rainbowlaugh:

Holy 9,00 words Batman! I better get started

"Let's see," she muttered, "Vault 3G, that's the Elements of Harmony...4K...the uncensored history books. 9F, the alien spaceship, 4Q, Luna's foalhood drawings, 4Z, Metal Gear, 3D, those damn glasses, 5T, the elder scroll, 2W, that compass that doesn't point north, 7S...Oh. Oh dear."

Celestia looked up from her record book.

"Somepony check 7S! I swear if they took anything from 7S then we're all-"

"They didn't take it your highness!" one of the pegasi on the upper levels called back.

Celestia breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank goodness," she said, "The colonel would kill me if I let somepony steal his secret recipe."

Oh my god :rainbowlaugh:

Make moar of this please :rainbowkiss:

Great first chapter, hope ch 2 will be upload soon.:raritywink:

If they have Metal Gear why wouldn't they just destroy the statue to prevent any possibility of him returning?

Sounds like a pretty good insurance policy to me.

>>98332

Wouldn't that involve... you know, killing him? Alternatively, the magic might break to prevent it, which would explain why they never broke Discord's statue.

The author has my attention, I shall withhold the judgment of the stars until I have a better sense where it is going. I find the human's attitude to be entertaining, and the idea of a pair of friends bumping around ancient equestria entertaining themselves while having little major impact on history (despite being essentially unstoppable) amusing. That being said, something happened that ruined that happy dynamic, and I can't help but wonder if 'the reapers horn' isn't a firearm. Of course, it being a horribly powerful magical artifact is more likely, but then from whence did it come?

I LOLd at the vaults :rainbowlaugh:

I would imagine at the vault were would be The dragonstone or something other than The elder scroll.

O my sweet baked beans... MAKE MOAR!!!!!  Please, it's sooooo good!  Here take my stars.  All of them.

Wow, I thought the "awakening of ancient evil" would stale after Past Sins, but here it's better than ever! :yay:

Gotta say, the humour is very attractive, and the plot is promising, so for the love of all that is good, keep up the amazing, work, cause I want MOAR! :rainbowkiss:

They'd better not steal mah secret recipe. :pinkiecrazy:If they do, I might just have to start making cupcakes instead.

Let me guess: He can manipulate Equestria by drawing in the air?

So Spike became a badass huh? Wexellent :moustache:

Celestia: "That thing that shall never be named"

VOLDEMORT?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?! :pinkiegasp:

This is really an interesting story and I await the release of the next chapter.:pinkiehappy:

Personally, I liked the pop culture references. It made the humans look like they were just a couple of idiots who just happened to fall into Equestria, and got in over their heads when they tried to have a little fun. Honestly, that outcome would seem to be the most likely. Most of the stuff the characters in HIE stories pull would get them trapped in stone.

Also, I think it's great that the story takes place a thousand years after the show. I  love the characters to bits, but it's nice to see someone doing something original with the setting.


Fluttershy is still best pony. Even if it's not actually her at all!

Although Explodey McGee is a close second, even if his powers turn out to not be real.

I actually liked First (Anthony?) and Second's antics. No angst, just two dudes messing with everyone in a "Well, we're here, might as well have fun" sort of way. And since the duo didn't actually get all that much screen-time, it never got annoying.  Looking forward to chapter three.

Eagerly waiting for more.

I cannot wait for Second to go badass on these ponies.  Seriously, this is one of those stories that I have to root for the villain(Second) in.  I get the feeling Sliske is going to be more a secondary comedy villian.  Finally, Spike the Eternal?!  Just plain awesome.

lol... i bet the other humans name is Ian. I bet it is SO Ian. :trixieshiftright:

This story is absolutely brilliant, only two chapters in and I am already hooked.

First and Second's conversations and sarcastic demeanors are utterly hilarious. The characters you have created fill each of their niches in the story well. What I like best about this story is that it's not predictable; the scene changes are so jarring at times it scrambles my thoughts as I'm reading it, but that's a good thing! So much information is put into each chapter, and it flows well.

I demand that you continue this superb, thought-provoking work that gives HiE stories a good name. :twilightsmile:

The comedy works, and the plot is interesting. I like how the chapters are big, but will new chapters take long since the chapters are long ? I didn't expect to see ch2 soo early.

I want the second to win he is just to awesome and they killed his best friend even though they never actually killed any pony.

the false goddesses need to pay for their crimes.:trixieshiftleft:

Great so far, looking forward to more.

Keep up the awesome work.

:twilightsmile:

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