The Wild Card

by Tyrant

My Kindred Spirit

You'd think they'd have a law against this. Seriously, this was torture in some form yet to be discovered I'm sure. Have you seen half the laws created in the states? There had to be SOME law against this!!

"Easy. EASY! I bleed just like you ponies do."

The self-proclaimed expert on PonyVille fashion huffed at my protests and continued to check for any adjustments needed to the new pants I would be using. If she wasn't the only seamstress in town I swear I'd be elsewhere, granted she was an awesome talent to her job but her attitude was starting to irritate me. "Twilight, can you use a spell to silence his insistent ramblings?"

"Ramblings? Lady if you want me to ramble I swear I can oblige you to--" Twilight made a slash across her throat pleading at me to cease my ranting. Hah, rambling. I haven't even begun to ramble! Taking a breath I attempted to stand perfectly still until I felt the prick of a needle accidentally jab into my leg again! The 'professional' seemed to notice my sudden involuntary movement and clicked her tongue in annoyance that I instinctively twitched at the invasion on my leg.

"Ziggy, could you just try to be patient for a bit longer?" Twilight looked like she was really caught between a rock and a hard-place. Though Spike seemed to be ogling at Rarity's every movement and for the moment I wonder what he saw in this infuriating woman. However I merely chalked it all up to being angry at having been pricked with that damned needle for the seventh time since she wanted to readjust these pants. What made it worse was it wasn't even necessary! They fit fine! There was enough leg room to where it slacked just how I like it. She could easily make a profit off me as I'd buy them in bulk, if she wasn't so insistent that something was wrong.

"So when is this party happening? That pink friend of yours was talking so fast I think half the words just went through one ear and out the other." I asked Twilight trying to get my mind off the pulsing feeling in my leg, and try to tell if I had blood dripping down my shin. Please tell me she didn't break skin, because I swear I will give her an earful to the point Spike will have to hose me down with his fire-breath.

"Well, Pinkie Pie usually has parties for newcomers to PonyVille. There really is no reason as to you being any exception. I'm sorry but you can't get out of a Pinkie Pie welcoming party." Twilight seemed glad at the chance to get my attention away from her friend. She probably took it as a sign that I was not angry. I'm afraid not Twilight. Anymore stabs and I'll lunge at her like a certain unholy bunny I dealt with yesterday.

"Ah, don't worry about it. I was able to be under her radar for this long, eventually she had to find me, no? I'm more curious what your welcoming parties are like. I mean I've never seen a pony dance and the idea is really amusing to me."

"Oh, well I'm not a bad dancer. Not the best though, I just started going to parties since I arrived in PonyVille. So I'll try not to disappoint you." I had to bite down a laugh otherwise the needle would have probably found itself in my leg again by 'accident'.

“Does she do this often? Is it like some sort of pony ritual I don't know about?"

The look on Twilight's face told me that she was trying to pick her words carefully. Than with what sounded like a sigh of defeat she bowed her head slightly keeping eye-contact with me. "No, it really is just a Pinkie thing. You will find out she is one of the friendliest ponies in PonyVille, and I actually think has the most friends anywhere on Equestria. She just tends to be random, and sometimes can appear out of anywhere as if she were waiting just for you to show up."

"So one who defies the laws of physics and becomes an anomaly? Something along those lines Twilight?" The look she gave me was priceless, as if I couldn't accept Pinkie's antics so easily. However I think she failed to understand that I was an alien on another world, trying to understand things was already thrown away my third maybe fourth day here.

"Finally! Thank you Siegfried, I'm done with your pants now. They look magnificent, though why you insisted on these denim jeans I’ll never know. Honestly you would look so much better in some trousers darling." Rarity eyed the pants as if she were just trying to find something wrong with them so she could make one more adjustment. I decided to jump down quickly off the platform before giving her the chance.

"Just be glad I didn't ask you to make me some cargo-pants. Or worse yet, some Jnco's, you'd faint if you had been around during that fashion disaster Miss Rarity." Oh to see the look on Rarity's face as some jeans were half-dragged across the floor, she'd faint at the sight of it. Sadly I don't feel like torturing the poor girl, I'm glad to have some decent fitting jeans on me again.

"Well ladies, I'm completely satisfied. Miss Rarity, I'll be stopping by for some more work. How are you at hoodie-jackets?" I headed for the exit and heard her start boasting in her own abilities. Yea, she was good but she loved to toot her own horn. Sadly I had no argument to counter her abilities so decided to make haste for a party with my name on it. We said our good-byes with Twilight having to drag Spike out by the tail.

"Man I tell you, these things fit better than the one's I brought from my world. I can't wait to break these bad-boys in." I had bought a few pairs of jeans and had at least a few other t-shirts made. I couldn't continue to walk around in my favored batman logo shirt, though for the moment I wondered if I could help her design some other vintage shirts from home. Ah, I'll think on that later.

"I'm glad you like them Ziggy. I was worried you were going to just leave angry and I would have had to explain to Rarity that you weren't used to custom made clothes. It's very interesting that you humans always wear clothes, but I suppose that kind of equals to all kinds of fashion. Rarity would probably love to visit your world."

"Twilight, she would have some serious fashion meltdowns. Half the stuff people wear is just to make a statement, and even than that statement doesn't even seem to make sense. Honestly, imagine pants that can be used as a parachute."

"Oh my goodness, you're serious." Poor Twilight, she had no idea half the fashion disasters humans could come up with. Although I suppose some of them kind of were great as a fad. Whatever. We had stopped at Twilight's home to drop off my new clothes and than locked up to head to Sugar-Cube Corner. Thankfully Rarity had these clothes ready by today, we couldn't keep pushing the date for this party back anymore with that Pinkie girl getting impatient to throw me a 'Welcome to PonyVille' party.

As we arrived I could make out that a crowd was starting to form around the entrance. Honestly I was becoming a bit of a buzz in PonyVille. I suppose you know, alien coming to their town and not trying to conquer, scored some really good points with the locals. Not to mention a few of them had seen me coming and going from Twilight's, and a few were even nice enough to greet me in the mornings on my way to Fluttershy's.

"There you are! Glad you could make it, the parties just getting started but now that you're here we can really get things started. Oh, oh, oh! Do you have any specific games you wanna play? We got pin the tail, darts, and someone actually brought a bounce house." Pinkie Pie was more excited than I was supposed to be, but I found myself becoming infected by her enthusiam. This was a bigger turn out than I had anticipated too.

"Pinkie, I swear you are in charge of any party ideas I have in the future. This is huge, did you invite all these people?" Part of me wondered if half these ponies just showed up when they heard party. Another part had this strange assumption that they showed up only because Pinkie had asked them to. It would be true she had alot of friends if that were true, and I myself felt like I could be considering her a friend if she was this cheerful with everyone.

The party seemed to be a blur, for me. Possibly too much punch, possibly with me just having too much fun. At one point me and Pinkie actually had a dance battle against one another. I'm not even sure how that had started but it was clear I was outta my league when it came to a girl with a cutie-mark that represented parties. I can recall meeting some mares that seemed to be very interested in me, I can't even tell you if that was them being flirtatious or were t hey just checking out the new human. At the very least they didn't make me nervous.

One thing I did have the chance of meeting was other friends of Twilight's. Another pegasus named Rainbow Dash, who was brash and pretty confident in herself. The one thing I did notice is she had very little tact when it came to asking foward questions. I nearly yelled at her when she tried to see what I looked like without clothing. Thankfully Twilight just told her friend that I was very shy when it came to being without clothes. Yea, we'll go with that.

Applejack was the next friend I met, and her I actually could tolerate. That southern accent actually made me feel a bit nostalgic, and I gathered she would be one I could get along with more than Dash. Her pride was in her hard-work ethic and I knew where she came from. Though hard-work hardly makes for a personal life so it's all sacrifice. Which can eat up at maintaining relationships with friends or loved ones. I told her if she ever needed help on the farm to give me a hollar and I'd be more than glad to help.

I'd met Rarity, but for appearances I got reacquainted with her at the party. Her demeanor changed to that of a high-class lady, not snooty but someone that carried themselves well. Almost brimming with confidence. If she didn't know how to maintain the image of a lady I'd say she could give Rainbow Dash's confidence a run for their money. Still, I suppose my opinion changed of her somewhat, you know, when I wasn't having a needle jammed in to my leg.

And finally I got to meet the one behind this festive event, the Pinkie Pie. I probably should rephrase that as THE Pinkie Pie. Seriously, she knew everyone's name at this party, and never missed a chance to say "Hello" or "Goodbye" to anyone who was coming or going. Not to mention she kept the party in full swing since before my arrival to when I had decided to leave. I had to though, I was still in charge of Fluttershy's animals. Though I didn't get to meet her today, I knew why as did the others. So wishing me well I decided to leave and told Twilight I'd meet up with her later.

It was quiet out tonight, I mean eerie quiet. The moon shined ever brightly above the Everfree forest that I swear it seemed so inviting and I was tempted to explore that very night, but knew to wait patiently. If I did go out tonight and something were to happen to me, no one would be around to care for Fluttershy's friends. I needed to be more responsible than that, but I couldn't shake a feeling that something was really wrong. Leading the last of the chickens into the coop, I scanned the area around the cottage to make sure each animal was sleeping or safe for the night, and the nocturnal creatures were getting ready for their evening ventures. "You bats don't get crazy now, I don't want to have to wake up in the middle of the night and look for you. Remember, I don't have a built in sonar." A small squeak came from one of the four bats that hung from a nearby tree, a small family I had learned from watching them for the past few days.

I turned to the forest once more, longing to race through its winding maze of trees and feeling nature surround me once again. That's when I saw it, a wolf standing at the edge of the forest staring at my direction. At first I felt my instincts tell me that the animals were in danger, but something was odd in its behavior. I continued to eye frantically the borders of the forest and could not find tales of other wolves accompanying this particular one. My mind began to analyze the situation, wolves traveled in packs, that was common knowledge. Lone wolves were rare and hardly ever seen, remembering as much as I could on the matter I also had the feeling something was missing in my knowledge. Something I NEEDED to remember right now. Deciding to wrack my brain and do a good deed I decided to get some water for the guy as peace offering.

Giving it some space I placed the bowl a few feet away from the fence that marked the boundaries of the cottage home. I took some timid steps back and knelt, waiting, my breath becoming slow and steady. I was hoping I could remember what I needed to about lone wolves soon. I was getting jumpy as it continued to stare at me not having moved even once from our eyes locked. It finally approached, slowly keeping eyes locked with mine, its ears were turned down and I recognized this as a sign of uncertainty and submission.

Like a small prickling fire, my mind started to piece together where I had heard the information on lone wolves and finally like a pop-flash coming from a firework it hit me. Lone wolves cannot survive without a pack. It was a sad tale, one I remember as a child when learning of that bit of information. Yea, I was one of those kids growing up wanting to be in a wolf pack. I was fascinated by the images and fables of wolves. But the truth was that wolves were predators, but in a world of talking ponies I wondered if this wolf could talk? That's when I noticed for the first time since it finally approached close enough that it was no ordinary wolf. This wolf had skin made of tree bark. What the hell!? This world keeps getting weirder! Animals that can understand speech, other animals that could speak, hell... forget logic, roll with it!

"I take it you're lost from your pack, I suppose I could be in the same situation as you. No pack around, hell not another human around for... you know I don't even wanna crunch those numbers." I looked to the wolf that was busy with drinking the water so desperately. "You know, if I were you I'd be scared and huddled in a corner. But I haven't even had time to be scared. Guess that comes with trying to fit in to society, but you, you get to wonder the forest and not listen to societies rules.

"Of course if I was you and running with a pack, I wouldn't be scared of shit. But being cut off from your pack? Damn I'm thankful that these ponies are friendly, but can you imagine if they weren't? I'd be up the damned creek without a paddle, hell probably without even the damned boat!" Finishing the water the wolf merely stared at me for a moment licking its lips in satisfaction. I suppose expecting EVERY creature to talk was just silly, but I had a bit of hope the wolf understood something I was telling it.

Making a decision I tested an old theory. "Shake!" Having my hand out I motioned for the wolf to come imitate my actions. However that backfired and it ran back to the border of the forest looking back at me for a moment than wandered into the trees quietly. "....or flee. Whichever works best for you."

I envied that wolf right now, running free in the forest while I had to be the responsible human. Dammit, this sucked. May as well head home and call it a night. A howl made me think of the safety of the chickens and other creatures, finally I decided I was going to have to crash here at Fluttershy's to keep watch. If I could convice Angel to open the door.

Comments

[High_Wind]

overlymanlyman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/insanity-wolf-finally-a-decent-pet-580x580.jpg
soon to be pet timberwolf. badass

[Darkran]

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p.s. you better damn make that timberwolf his pet!

[CaptainFabulass]

Fluttershy: Now, Ziggy I cannot express my delight!
It's abundantly clear
That somewhere out here
Is the pet that will suit you just right

Siegfried: How about a Timber Wolf?

Fluttershy: T-t-t-t-t-timberwolf?!?!?! *apparently this was written before they were carnivorous pony eating monsters*