The Wild Card

by Tyrant

First published

His name is Siegfried. And he's not the first human to cross the Equestrian Border it seems.

Yea, the name is Siegfried. I just waltzed right in to Equestria, no real idea how I got here it just blended right in. I was walking a trail at night and exited Everfree Forest to find this lil' purple unicorn staring at me. Huh, well it could be worse. She could've had a craving for human stew. Well, this is my story and I hope they can tell me why the hell am I here in a world with ponies as the dominant race. ...what, dragons too, Oh crap.

She hits like a...

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“Well, uhm, I don’t know what this ‘America’ place is, but I can tell you that you are currently in PonyVille. Located in Equestria. So, does that help any?”


Staring blankly at this little purple unicorn I swear the ringing in my ears finally started to dull enough for me to CLEARLY make out what she had just said. Nodding dumbly I swear I just noticed my mouth was agape and I closed it hearing a very unsettling crunch in my jaw-line.


“So, E-quest-ria?”


“No, no, E-ques-tria. If you say it like that it comes out more medieval than anything.”


“Right, we don’t want that do we?”


“Oh well, I’m not sure if anyone would take offense to that. Though it would make it seem more noble and foreign, but I’m sure nopony here would like to have the old laws to adhere to. Plus there is the fact that some jobs would be almost non-existent if we were in that time period.”


Staring at her for a moment I felt my left eye twitch. “Yes, thank you Miss--” wait, what’d she call herself again? Sparkle? Dear god it sounded like one of those 80’s toon shows I grew up watching. Argh, you know for a guy landing in a place with walking, talking, colorful ponies I’m taking this rather well.


“Sparkle.”


“Huh?”


“You were thanking me and trailed off. I assume you forgot my name so I was reminding you it’s Twilight Sparkle.”


“Oh yes, right. Sorry, I’m sort of well.. Wow.” I let out a hearty laugh. What the fuck am I right now? Confused? Beyond. Elated? Somewhat. I mean my limbs are fine and I’m not heavily bleeding. I’m in a world that has talking creatures. Oh fuck, either I’m still dreaming in my home or this.. This is really fuckin’ happening.


“If you don’t mind, may I ask you a few questions now?”


“Uhm.. Sure Miss Sparkle.”


She smiled gently, and took a quill and ink out of her saddlebags along with what appeared a large scroll. “Do you write a lot Miss Sparkle?”


“Oh yes, I usually have check lists I make or I feel I’ll never get anything done. I feel it is always best to be prepared and organized. But you said you would allow me some questions. So may I start asking them and you merely respond.”


Ah, in other words please shut your trap so I can interrogate you. Well at least she was polite. If that could be considered she was polite at this moment, but hey you have an alien land in your backyard and than tell me you don’t have questions for it. This is like way bizarre.


“So, you’re a bipedal sentient creature with no coat covering your skin, most of your hair seems to be focused the top of your head, some over your eyes and face? You have facial hair, that seems appropriate enough to tell me you are male, correct?”


“Right you are ma’am.”


“Uh-huh, and no claws, but you do seem to have more of an appendage found on a dragon--”


I pulled my hand back quickly and could see the somewhat shocked expression on her face along with a hint of irritation. “Excuse me, what did you say? A dragon?”


“Yes.”


“Like a fire breathing dragon, big scales, huge wing span, and possibly very irritable?”


“Well, not all dragons are short-tempered but in short yes.”


“…so, talking ponies cover most of this ‘Equestria’, do dragons talk too?”


“Of course. Dragons are a sentient race but most stick to their own communities. We really don’t bother them and they seem to have not bothered us for quite some time.”


Wow, hell in a hand basket. This lady.. Pony.. Whatever! Now we got dragons to add to the mix of this bizarre appetizer I bit into. Great, I always loved the idea of staring down something you know.. Nearly a hundred times my size. I started to rub my temples and could hear her finding something interesting in the dirt as she scraped at it with her hoof.


“I interrupted again, didn’t I?”


“I’m afraid so. It’s quite alright that you have questions, it’s just that.. I’m very curious as to your reason for being here. As well as what you are.”


“Sorry, just dragons… you know there are legends of dragons on my world too.”


…did I just hear her squeal? That sounded like a squeak.


“Oh really? Do you know what happened to them? Did you live in co-existence? Were they sentient too?”


“Ahaha--ha-haha.. Well, I don’t know much about them. The legends always becomes confused in translation as well as some people have very different opinions. Some viewed them as a constant threat, merely destructive creatures who were to be slayed for conquest. Others regarded them with high nobility, as if they were the protectors of our planet. Some viewed them as mythical creatures who shared their wisdom with only those who seeked knowledge and peace above all else.”


“Oh wow, that is very interesting. What about Gryphon‘s? And Pegasi? And Unicorns?”


“Well, I don’t know much on the subject of Gryphon‘s, but Pegasi and Unicorns? Their’s not a lot of stuff I know off the top of my head, most people view them as things of beauty. Some even believe that at one point we coexisted with them, and than it splits. I’ve heard that some believe we were ignorant so they left us and found a world for their own, others that they died off and the cause of death was a mystery.” Shrugging my shoulders she seemed a bit depressed at the news. Even I gotta say I never fancied Unicorns much but it is a bit of a woeful tell, especially since I feel like I’m delivering a message to a descendant of the unicorns from my world. Would they be this colorful though?


“Another question if I may, what exactly do you call yourself?”


“You mean species or my own personal name?”


“Both if you would be so kind.”


“Well my species are known as human. A most basic term but it’s almost universal… err, global where I come from. Homo-sapien is a more scientific term. What the definition is don’t ask me, I failed science class on biology and the like. As for me, the name is Siegfried. My friends call me Ziggy.”


“Siegfried? That’s a rather unusual name.”


“It’s.. German.” I chuckled at my usual auto-response. Yea, like she’s got a map of my world in those saddlebags. Idiot, she has no clue what the hell any of the continents on your world are called.


“Oh, well it sounds.. Nice?”


“Miss sparkle you don’t need to humor me, I get the response a lot also back home.”


“I’m terribly sorry, I didn’t mean to offend.”


I chuckle again at her cute politeness. Damn, she is sweet. Why can’t I meet girls like this back home. UGH!


“No, it is fine. I am in no way offended, unless you happened to have an influence on my grade school classmates teasing me for the name.”


“Oh no!! I would never, I mean--- you’re teasing me aren’t you?”


I smirk gently and shrug. I can see the pout coming from her cheeks and I swear, I just want to pinch. I really would if I didn’t know that she had magic a second ago and learned how a little thing like this unicorn can pack a punch like a defensive lineman. I think I need to check my ribs later, I still feel a tingle.


“Ugh, I’m trying to be a bit serious with this, could you do the same, please?”


“Miss sparkle, if I may, I’m completely at your mercy, I’m sure you recall how far you threw me with that one spell earlier.” A light blush and a nervous laugh emits from her, cute, damn you are too cute. "But if you ask me to be not have some humor to diffuse the tension between us I cannot comply. In all honesty, I really am being as serious about the situation as possible. You must realize that I’m far from home, and from the looks of it like an intruder in your own world. I’m as nervous as you are.”


“Yes, now to really get to the bottom of this. HOW did you come to Equestria, and if you arrived by accident, what are your intentions?”


Wow, she is good. From researcher to enforcer in nearly two seconds, I can honestly say for a creature that is half my size she really is looking intimidating right now. Okay, think carefully anything could upset her and I really haven’t a clue how I came here. One minute I’m walking on a trail, alone at night, and I hear a voice, a really.. distorted voice and follow. That’s it, next thing I know I’m walking in to thicker trees, the trail begins to disappear, and I reappear before a frightened unicorn who blasts me in self-defense.


“Miss sparkle, I swear I have no clue how I got here. I was following a voice back on my own home world and the next thing I know I’m staring at you and.. well I’m sure you remember the rest. I was merely walking a trail, something I do a lot on my world when I feel like being alone with my thoughts. As for my intention, finding a way home is probably the only thing on my mind. I assume that if I walked back I’d end up home, but…”


I turn to stare behind me, trees far beyond what I could see. HOW THE HELL did this happen?! I was just walking in a park, not even that many trees and the next thing I know I’m surrounded by them, and come across a unicorn. A purple unicorn! She doesn’t even look like half the unicorns I’ve seen in pictures. Much smaller, much.. smaller and talking, let's not forget she's a talking pony. Her face doesn’t even come close to the pictures I’ve seen, it’s her muzzle, it’s way different. Her eyes are a shade of purple that compliments her coat. …wait, back up, stop, I know what I’m doing and this stops. I’m not about to check out a pony. Not today anyway, focus man!


“A-hem, so yea.. Next course of action.. I suppose I could try to head back home, you know go back the way I came?”


“Well, that is if the same method worked, from your description you walked through a.. actually I have no idea how you could have ended up here. A portal?”


“Portal through another world, like a gateway? Could that be used through magic?”


“It’s possible, but it would take very powerful magic to do that, or even a spell that is forbidden or ancient. I've read up on most spells and I've never heard of one sending a creature through another world the way you came in to my world."


“Question, how much of this forest do you know?”


“Everfree? We.. don’t venture in to it much. A lot of it is dangerous for ponies.”


Hmm.. Interesting, so an unexplored forest and here I stood at the very gates to it. Almost too surreal for me to come up with on my own. Okay, so this mostly is something I’ve never had a dream about, but hell, I’ve had crazier dreams. Talking ponies always being absent in almost all of them though. I will continue to play along, hell, if this is reality, and I freak out, nothing can be gained, only lost. Not to mention, Miss Sparkle seems to be non-aggressive. So I can almost guarantee I’m not in immediate danger.


“Mr. Siegfried? I would advise against exploring the Everfree at this time. It is dark out, and if you were to go in now, I could not in good judgment allow you to go back in there, especially at night.”


“Understandable, but say the portal or gateway was still open, it would likely be closed by morning light. No?”


“I’m afraid so. However if it is nothing more than a high-level spell that pulled you in to our world perhaps we can ask an equally powerful magic user to send you back?”


“I take it you are not on that level yet?”


“No… I’m sorry. I wish I could be more help.”


“Miss sparkle, you have been quite helpful. At the very least I know where I am, and that I should be wary of magic spells throwing me on my backside.”


“Sorry.” I sighed in exasperation, really it was self-defense. Let it go. I probably would’ve hit you with a stick had you come in to my world. Shaking my thoughts I decide that the next course of action is the one I feel a sense of dread but a necessity to basic survival. Shelter.


“Is there.. Any lodging establishments nearby?”


“What? Why?”


“Well, it is getting late, and unless you are nocturnal, I assume that you ponies sleep at night.”


“Of course, uhm.. How many bits do you have?”


“…what?”


“Bits? Oh no, I think we may have a situation on our hooves.”


“Right, hands, and yea. It’s safe to say our currency’s do not match." I take out some money from my pocket, and show it to her, a shake of her head confirms it for me. "So, it would appear they don't. Great, so even if I wanted to I couldn’t afford to sleep at a lodge.”


“Uhm.. You could sleep over at my place tonight? It’s not much and I would love to continue to discuss about our worlds.”


“Miss sparkle, it’s a very kind and generous offer--”


“Why do I feel a but coming on?”


Snickering at her ability to read my next train of thought I wonder are unicorns telepathic for a second. “BUT~, I feel it’s kind of.. Imposing. As well wouldn't that interfere with your day tomorrow?”


“Well to be honest, I may have to write a report to Princess Celestia about you. She would be as curious as me so this could help us both. I could learn more about you, having new research material and contact the princess, and we could see about getting you home. Does that sound like a win-win?”


Wow, if I had a problem with faith in humanity at least I felt like ponies were better than we were in the aspect of generosity. Still, it felt weird having to be taken care of so much, and I could not shake the feeling of that voice earlier. I know I wasn’t going crazy, the theory that this is still a dream rattled in my brain as well. Finally, I think I’ll just take the damned offer.


“Well, if you could lead the way, and do you have anything to drink? Considering it will be a long night of discussion I could use something to wet my whistle.”


“Beg your pardon?”


“An idiom, back home, just that I am parched and will be as we continue to talk in to the night.”


“Oh! Yes, we have some drinks. Apple juice?”


“Oh that sounds great. Thank you.”


With that she turned around and started to head in to PonyVille. Following I could only assume that this mess could be over soon and I’d be back home getting ready for putting this all behind me. Yea, just be back home and really not worry over anything but this being a dream or just some weird event I had the luxury of taking part in.

Of PBJ'S and Pink Manes

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Damn the sun, in this world or the next. It’s one thing to awaken with it gently shining in the room blocked off by curtains and blinds, it’s another with you cracking an eye open and it literally invades your oculars causing temporary blindness. Holy hell that stings!


“Ugh.. What time is it?”


“Oh hey, good morning Ziggy.”


“Spike? Ugh, my head.. My neck.. My ribs.. My me all over!”


“What?” Spike stared at me, obviously confused by my expressions. Standing up with a few pop and crackles from my bones I started to stretch feeling my senses awaken. Ugh, that damned unicorn kept me up all night. I thought I’d seen curiosity before, but she was trying to fill an encyclopedia on humans with just what I knew. Sheesh! I might have given the human race a bad image with half the knowledge I put in her head, though she didn’t seem to mind. Whew.


“So where is Miss Sparkle?”


“You mean Twilight? I think she’s still asleep.”


That would make sense, I passed out right after she asked me my opinion on technological advances between our worlds. It was actually funny to see her ears twitching when I pulled out my mp3 from my pocket and played a few songs for her. Ugh, but finding a power source to recharge this sucker is going to be a drag. Whatever, when in Rome, no?


“So I take it you're used to Miss Sparkle being that.. excited when she is in research mode?”


“Buddy, you have no idea. And why do you keep calling her ‘Miss Sparkle’? You know her name is Twilight right?”


“Well, see the thing is she hasn’t told me otherwise and I don’t want to seem overly-familiar.”


“But you called me Spike.”


“That’s ‘cuz you told me to last night. I started with Mister Spike but you made that face and just asked to be called Spike, remember?”


“Oh yea. Huh, sorry must have forgot.”


Waving my head dismissively I started to stretch my neck ‘till the familiar pop could be heard and I sighed in relief. Ugh, I’m not opposed to sleeping on a floor if need be, but a wooden floor offers little comfort to a carpeted one. Bending to place my knees on the floor I started to pick up the pillow and blanket offered to me last night and fold them properly.


“So Spike, would you like help making breakfast? Or is it already past that point this morning?”


“Well I already ate for myself, but if you are hungry I suppose you could go to the kitchen to fix you up something. Just try to clean up your mess, please? I already got a work load today, and I hate having more to do.”


“Lemme guess, she has a whole schedule made for your entire chores for the month?”


Nodding glumly Spike opened the supply closet and came out with a hand-broom and dustpan. I looked on amused for a moment since I felt a wave of nostalgia from the scene before me. My childhood ladies and gentlemen, me being forced to clean by a control freak. …sorry mom, that was mean.


After putting away the pillow and blanket in the supply closet I headed to the kitchen my stomach growling in urgency. Easy you damn beast, I’m getting’ there. Shuffling through the cupboards I found a loaf of bread and began to smile knowing at least I could make a damn sandwich in this world. Hell, Sandwiches are now universal in my book. Now if they… oh.. Thank you cosmos…


“Glorious peanut butter and jelly!! Glorious ‘cuz of it’s peanut butter goodness! All hail the peanut!!” Forget first good impressions. Forget first contact regulations. Forget all that crap, I found out this world also shares my passion for peanut butter flavored things. Hell yes this was the greatest discovery since the goddamned telephone. Well, greatest discovery that two worlds can share the same opinion on cuisine. Honestly though, I didn’t think ponies would find the taste buds for it, but here I am getting proven wrong. Whoo-hoo!


“You like peanut butter?” Spike eyed from the door obviously wondering what the big deal was. Oh my little dragon, if you only knew the power of peanut butter back on my world, well, maybe an overstatement. Whatever, it was peanut butter, I was starving, and I had the solution in my hands spreading it across the bread.


“Why, you don’t? It’s actually my favorite thing back home. Fact is we put it in a lot of things. Cereal, snacks, ice-cream, and we use the spread on a lot of things too. I’ve even made a peanut butter s’more before. Highly addicting.” I shuddered remembering my peanut-butter s’more addiction, never had a jar of peanut-butter disappeared from my house so quickly. I think two bags of marshmallows were required too.


Grabbing a glass and pouring some of the apple juice from last night I started to walk to the table mouth watering for that holy sandwich. Halfway through I heard a knock from downstairs and looked to Spike curiously. “Was Miss Sparkle expecting guests today?”


Spike shook his head and placed the broom and dustpan down, deciding to check who was at the front door as he descended downstairs. I heard faint voices coming from the stairway as they approached closer and a slight feeling of panic washed over me. Spike emerged first atop the stairs and turned facing whoever was approaching.


"Now don't freak out Fluttershy. Twilight talked to it.. I mean him last night. He's harmless but we're just watching him, maybe you've seen one of these before."


...Fluttershy? What the hell kind of name was that? Great these ponies are really creative when it comes to names. I thought my mother was odd, hah! ...Wait, what is that?!


She ascended the stairs not by climbing them but by hovering over them, I noticed wings first. The yellow coat second, and that pink mane finally. Now I've seen a purple unicorn and a yellow pegasus. Yea, dreams over, reality kicks in. My life sucks, but I'm starting to notice I'm staring straight at her and getting nervous by the minute. My mouth is starting to dry up and I'm staring more intently at her eyes.


"Oh my... uh, I've never seen a creature like him before Spike."


She cautiously starts to step toward me eyeing me with as much curiosity as I did her, only I feel my pulse quicken at each step she takes and I'm getting really nervous. Thank whoever is watching me from the cosmos she stops a good mid-distance from my seated position at the table and just watches me for a moment before her eyes curiously scan my body. Than her eyes lock with mine again and she finally speaks.


"Hello, I'm... Fluttershy. What's your name?"


Curse you all to hell!! Okay maybe I'm not good with the ladies back home, okay, fuck you. I'm horrible with the ladies back home. Was that her voice? I swear it sounded like the wind chimes I hang back home, I always loved the sound they'd make as I'd lay in my hammock in the backyard. Good news is she wasn't afraid of me, bad news is I don't think my mouth is coordinating with my brain right now.


"Siegfried. My name. Meet you is nice."


...Congrats, the award for dumbest introduction goes to me. Hurrah! I hear her giggle and I lower my head to the table groaning into my arms folded on the table. Great, now she's laughing at me. Ugh, someone just send me in to the moon, I hear it's great this time of year.


"I've never seen a creature like you before Mr. Siegfried. Are you new to Equestria? Are there more like you? How do you like it here in PonyVille?"


Spike thankfully saves me from her questioning and responds to Fluttershy. "He just got in town last night Fluttershy. He's really new to town, he came from another world. Can you believe it?"


I hear Fluttershy respond with a small "Oh my" but feel her eyes never having left me. Risking a glance I look up to see her still staring at me and bury my head into my arms again. Stop staring, please stop staring. I'm not good with women of other species either, great. Well, so much for first impressions. When I meet this Princess that Twilight mentioned last night I'm sure I'll fuck that up too.


"So he's far from home. Oh the poor thing." Feeling an odd sense of hooves touch my hand I lift my head up to see she closed the gap and is smiling softly at me. My cheeks heat up quickly at the sudden touch, turning my head I eye Spike who seems to watch on with an amused grin. SOMEONE, ANYONE, get me outta this situation!


"Good morning Fluttershy. I see you've met Siegfried."


Thank you Twilight Sparkle, you beautiful mare you. Great timing. I release a held breath and glance as Fluttershy trots up to Twilight.


"Good morning Twilight, yes I did. He seems nice. I returned that book you lent me on animals this morning and was wondering if you wanted to head to Sugarcube Corner together?"


"Yea, I'll be right there Fluttershy. Just give me a minute." Twilight turned to look at me and I saw a stern expression cross her face. I know that look, it's the same one I get when being ordered what to do for the next few hours.


"Siegfried?"


"Yes Miss Sparkle?"


"I need you to stay here for a bit, is that a problem?"


"No Miss Sparkle."


"I've been thinking about that 'Miss' business, could you just call me Twilight, please?"


"Sure thing Twilight. Am I correct in assuming you want me to stay here and out of sight for the time being 'till you send that letter off to the Princess and we find the root of all this?"


"Wow you are a sharp one. Yes, if you could help Spike or help yourself to some reading I'd appreciate it very much."


"Not a problem Twilight. Just one question, if the tree suddenly bursts in to flames and we can't stop it, can I leave the tree for the safety of my own life?"


"WHAT?! Why would the tree burn down?!"


"Well, you do have a baby dragon living in a tree. Dragon breathes fire. It's simple physics almost."


"Spike has never caused a fire in the tree. So I don't think that will happen. Just try not to do anything that will get you in trouble while you are in PonyVille please? No one has ever seen you before and I don't want there to be a disaster while we try to get you an audience with the Princess."


"Okay. I'll do my best."


"Thank you." And with that Twilight turned to Fluttershy and they both headed out. I noticed I couldn't stop staring at Fluttershy and she looked back, gently waved and smiled at me before they both descended. Hearing the door close I buried my head in my arms again and groaned again. "Oh my god! Siegfried. My name?! What the hell was I thinking?!"


"Surprised you actually didn't just run out the room after that. Man, I thought I had it bad, your almost hopeless."


Turning to the dragon I almost glared at him but just shot an indignant stare. "What does that mean?!"


"Dude, you totally just screwed up introducing yourself to Fluttershy. I know a crush when I see one."


"I'm a human! She's a pony! That can't even work!"


"I'm a dragon and I like a pony. So it's not like you aren't the first to like outside your species. Let me ask than, if you think it can't work why did you keep staring at her?"


Damn you little dragon. I know why I kept staring. Hell I was wondering myself why I continued to look at her. The entire time I was staring I heard that song pop in my head. The one that's always in my head when I fall for a girl at first sight. 'Somewhere my Love', that damned melody always pops in my head when I see a pretty girl. Only this time I had it in my head while I stared at a pony.


"I haven't even been here twenty-four hours and already I've fallen for one of the locals. This is.. absurd."


"Well you are stuck here for the time being. Also you don't know if you can even get home. Why not?"


Because it's wrong? Because I'm here and I shouldn't be falling for a pony that fast? Because.. I always liked pink on a girl. A highlight, not so much that it's her entire outfit. Just that highlight complimented with other bright colors that only few girls can pull off. And a pink mane really does highlight that face with those blue eyes. That yellow coat was really great to look at and those wings. That's life isn't it? I just landed in another world and I already fell for a local girl.. pony. WHATEVER!

I'm banjaxed! I'm screwed!

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Another day, another painful realization that this is not some really long lucid dream. The realization actually sunk in yesterday while helping Spike clean up. A book sitting atop the bookshelf fell, smacked him in the tale, and I got a face full of dragon breath for my troubles. From the brief experience I can tell you dragon breath smells of earth and burnt ash. Really surprising since the guy eats gems.


When Twilight came back we explained the incident, she gave me a quick examination to check how human skin reacts to magical dragon fire-breath, than used a spell to heal the burns, and after that I looked in to a mirror to see no real harm was done to myself.


We then wrote a letter to the Princess explaining the situation of a human being in Equestria. We also explained that I had no idea how I came in and that my point of origin came from the EverFree forest. On an added note Twilight said she had interviewed about my world on some key points and we sent off the letter. Well, more like Spike lit it up with his fire breath and I gawked while all that writing seemed wasted, upon my reaction Twilight assured me that it was one of Spikes special abilities as well as the fastest way to get a letter to the Princess.


"Question. is anything he breathes his fire on sent to the princess?"

"Ah, the scrolls are also magically enchanted so that it goes directly to the Princess."


Is everything in this world full of freakin' magic? I wonder how their sewer system works, or is it all just magically whisked somewhere.. I mean, if everything is magic why the hell not?! Magical toilets, that could make a killing back home.


As I heard a suppressed gag from behind me I saw Spike seem to clutch his stomach, after a moment a burst of flame erupted from his mouth. I lunged forward and landed on my belly with a grunt holding my hands over my head. "What the hell Spike!? You trying to go two for zero?"


I glared at Spike who gave me a sheepish grin, but than I noticed the scroll he was holding. "Did that just come out your mouth?!"


"Yea, it's kinda the way the Princess sends word back to Twilight. It's kinda annoying when the letters come at random or the worst time."


Thinking about it I imagined talking to friends or even a romantic interest and suddenly belching a letter from your teacher, or even more horrifying your mother. Suddenly I felt regretful for yelling at Spike.


"A-hem, so what does the letter say Spike?" Twilight seemed to take our exchange in stride and only care for the contents of the letter.


"To my faithful student,

I thank you for informing me of this event Twilight. I would like to meet this human tomorrow afternoon. I have cleared my schedule so arrive at your earliest convenience so we can discuss as much as need be and please bring your notes so I may be able to grasp a few ideas of what to ask him. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Princess Celestia"


Twilight went to grab her notes and began to organize everything while I stared at Spike, and sighed feeling apprehension for tomorrow. I would be meeting the ruler of Equestria and I had nothing formal to wear. Yea, maybe these ponies didn't wear clothes but that didn't mean I had to show up in front of royalty in my jeans and t-shirt with Batman insignia. My only course of thought was 'Oh please don't say anything stupid tomorrow.'


That was yesterday today I was seated watching the scenery of trees and grassland roll by with excitement wide-eyed wonderment.


"Trains, I can't believe you guys have trains. This is awesome, I mean I've never been in a train before. We had them in our history, transport trains for passengers but we went beyond that. This is so kick-ass, nothing beats a good ole' fashioned train ride."


I was excited. I mean really, I was acting like a child gushing over the scenery and could feel the stare of Twilight as she looked up from her book directed at me. I didn't care, I really never even been on a train ride before. I thought about finding one a few times, there were places that would let you take a train ride for the sights but those were just tourist attractions I had heard about. I also had no real desire to travel so getting the chance to train ride back in the states never presented itself. But here I was taking a train from PonyVille to Canterlot on my third day here in Equestria. Hot damn!


"How do you guys travel in your world than Ziggy?" Spike whispered to me from across my seat. I glanced at him with a grin and beckoned him closer with my finger. Leaning in he looked to see if the Twilight was listening in. I glanced at her and she pretended to not really care, though her ear was pointed in our direction to try and hear our whispered conversation.


"We have these things called planes, they fly over oceans and can hold dozens of people in them. They fly all over my world in the skies. We also have boats for people who are afraid to fly, and for personal transport a thing called a car. Think of it like a stage-coach."


Spike sat in awe at what I said, than looked down rather glumly. "All I've ever traveled in is this train and Twilight's air balloon."


"Spike don't be down man, I haven't even been in a plane myself, or a boat. Besides you breath fire dude, I'd love to have that ability. Make s'mores with ease for me."


He licked his lips at the mention of s'mores. After Twilight had left us yesterday to attend a friendly get-together with her friends I showed him what peanut butter s'mores tasted like. He never thought of it before but I think I just got him addicted to it now as well. I turned my attention back to the passing scenery. "You know if your Princess can send me back it was nice knowing you. Your actually the coolest dragon I've ever met."


"I'm the only dragon you've ever met."


"Irrelevant." Twisting my body so I sat in the seat properly I heard Twilight set her book down.


"You realize that the Princess will have questions for you. Inquire about why you are here, if you are a spy working against Equestria. I want you to understand in no way did I promise you a way home, please don't set yourself up for disappointment if she cannot send you back."


My eyes evened with Twilight's as I spoke trying to hide the desperation in my voice. "We don't know, right? So all we can do is try, hell, she might know someone who can send me back or point me in the direction of anything that could send me back."


We passed a bridge over a river and I watched the outside pass by without another word, Spike decided to take a nap and Twilight went back to her reading. Our worlds looked so much alike, and yet I couldn't believe the resemblance, a world full of magic and yet the trees and grass still looked the same on Earth as it did Equestria. If I was stuck here, at the least the place wasn't going to feel COMPLETELY foreign.


I was shook awake a moment later, Spike's voice began to cut through the haze of sleep. I didn't realize I had dozed off but as I cracked open my eyes I noticed Twilight looking at me curiously and Spike continuing to shake me awake.


"Ziggy, wake up, c'mon we're here in Canterlot. The train's stopped already."


I shook my head to clear it, feeling heavy and stiff from sleep while in a seated position. I turned my head to the side slightly and saw a pony dressed in a conductor uniform, I eyed him skeptically as I noticed that he carried the hat and blue vest jacket buttoned up except the very top button. He eyed me with the same skepticism and Twilight began to explain the situation to him.


...wait, a conductor uniform?! Oh great, these ponies even wore clothes, I looked at my outfit again and really felt my earlier embarrassment return as I noticed I really was under-dressed. Maybe she'll think the Batman symbol is a flag of valor I wore proudly on my chest. ...oh hell who am I kidding?!


"We're here to see Princess Celestia my good sir. This human here has an audience with her, and we are expected, so please try not to make a scene."


He nodded dumbly and continued his rounds. As Twilight placed her saddlebags atop her back with her magic, me and Spike made our way for the exits. Stepping off the train I could feel the stares, I could feel them when we left PonyVille, I felt them on the train, I could feel them now analyzing me, burning into my my skin as if it were a rash. I drew in a shaky breath and exhaled trying to steel my nerve.


"How much farther to the castle? I do assume it is a castle the Princess lives in, correct?"


"Yes, your correct in that assumption Siegfried." Twilight answered for me as she brought up the rear of our small group. Spike started to nervously play with his tail between his claws and I almost wish I had a tail to take my mind off their eyes gazing at me.


"I would like to get there soon Twilight. Can we hurry along?"


"I am here to escort you to the castle." A pegasus clad in armor had trotted up to us and stared at me before his eyes fixed ahead. I noticed the armor was suited for ponies with a helmet that looked to be from the roman period. I gawked at the resemblance and began to reach out to touch the top to see if it was real. The soldiers eyes quickly made contact with mine and I suddenly had the distinct feeling he'd twist my arm the soon as I made contact so I slowly pulled my arm back.


"Sorry, it's just your helmet. It's something that used to exist in my world. A long time ago."


His eyes flashed curiosity very briefly before regaining their serious poise. It was long enough for me to notice however, and I smiled gently before placing my hands in my pockets and looked to Twilight.


"Ready to go?"


I nodded and we began the trek as the guard lead our group. Several of the ponies began to separate in the crowd and made me think this was what it looked like when Moses split the red sea. Only you know, instead of water these are ponies, and I didn't have some staff raised in the air, all that jazz, y'know? Yea, whatever I watched the Charlton Heston version as a kid, okay?


It didn't seem far to the castle honestly, I was so wrapped up at the sites of Canterlot that I had hardly enough recognition of time as we kept passing regal buildings and small business stores. I had been so lost in observing that I had hardly time to remember I was being gawked at through town. As we continued to walk I didn't notice we left the city until the buildings seemed to stop and we came across a paved path that led to the drawbridge of the castle. We continued on and I than started noticing that some of the guards were ignoring their duties staring at me while we walked on.


A few moments later I was passing these huge golden doors that led to a large room, in front of us were some stairs and two guards stood at the bottom of the steps. The room was adorned with flags, wooden polished trimmings seemed to highlight the archways that lead to other adjacent rooms. Atop the stairs were paned glass that had murals of the sun on the left and the moon on the right. That's where she stood, a regal looking unicorn-- no wait, she had wings?! A Pegacorn?! ...is that even a race on Equestria?


I looked to Twilight and Spike, but they were bowed deeply to the Princess in regal fashion. The guard even bowed a bit lower to show his respect. I was hesitant to take their cue so I merely gave a small nod of acknowledgement toward the Princess. The guards at the bottom step seemed to glare at me for not showing their Princess the proper respect but I steeled my nerve and continued to stare at her. She seemed to raise her eyes in surprise and gently smiled descending the steps.


"Hello there. I am Princess Celestia of Equestria." ...is she trying to rhyme? As she finally came off the last step I noticed her height was quite larger than mine, and before my brain could stop it my mouth was open in a minute showing the shock that was first to come to my mind.


"Holy hell your huge!!" My arm raised above my head to show the difference in height and I had my arm stretched to see where it would reach the tip of her horn. Damn!! Is she part amazon?! That's when I noticed what I had said and immediately face-palmed, the sound actually echoed the walls and it sounded more painful than it felt.


Everyone in the room stared at me wide-eyed with disbelief that the first words I uttered to their Princess was that she was taller than me, and I didn't just say it I seemed to yell it at her. Okay, I'm zero for three now, I knew I was going to fuck this up, and I did, Hurrah for persistence! The Princess seemed to stand there in shock wondering had I done that on purpose before she suppressed a giggle and than just let out a melodious laugh that had everyone stare at her in disbelief.


"Oh.. Oh my, Twilight I think you failed to mention he had a witty charm." Twilight started to laugh apprehensively and Spike began to chuckle content to share a laugh with his Princess.


"I'm.. I'm sorry your highness." I said now owning up to my mistake. "I swear I usually don't.. well honestly I think I do. I seem to have screwed up every introduction since I have arrived in Equestria. I'm really sorry, I don't mean to but I can't seem to control my reactions to you all. Everything is sorta.. perplexing. I mean I'm amazed, I even feel like a child having stepped into a story-book, but I really am trying to not insult any of you."


She shook her head that smile not leaving her face. "Oh I assure I take no insult to your actions at all. I am merely impressed that despite your situation you still seem to have a strong showing of courage being in a world outside your own element."


I felt my spirits lift at her praise. In the back of my head I knew she was right, I had not thought of it because I had no chance to. However her words echoed inside my head and forced me to realize my situation. I was in another world and I had no idea of how to get back home. What's more, I wasn't huddled in a corner telling the natives to stay back with some sharpened stick I would use as a weapon. No, I was just boldly stepping forward as if this was just another day in my life.


"Princess? What's to happen to Siegfried? Can you send him home or is he stuck here?"


Finally the smile on Celestia's face fell, and her eyes held a sadness that tugged at my heart. I swear she really was beautiful for a regal looking pony and I wanted to say something witty to make her smile come back, but I felt I had to listen to her response just as eager as Twilight to the question.


"I'm afraid I have never heard of a magic spell that can open a rift between worlds. I know that there exists a magical artifact to see into other worlds, but I'm afraid that to open a path so one can cross is simply unheard of. It is my greatest regret that I do not posses the knowledge to aid him in returning home."


She looked to me with those sad eyes and I felt the color drain from my face. No way of getting back home? I'm stuck here? Alone?! I began to panic, my breathing became erratic and my legs suddenly felt wobbly. I threw my arms to my sides knowing I was losing my balance and fell right upon my ass and felt a sharp pain shoot up my arms as my hands also took the impact of my fall. I was swallowing air into my lungs as if I was going to lose the ability to breath.


"Oh no, I'm sorry. I truly am, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but there really isn't anything in our archives that has ever shown a way to open a path to another world."


I could see the sadness in her eyes and it was all too much. I held my head in my hands and tried to steady my breathing. Focus... I just need to focus. Ask her, ask her what you need to know.


"So do you know of ANYONE who can help me? Anyone at all? Anything that might show me a way to get home?"


She shook her head sadly. Spike came up to me and placed a claw on my shoulder. Twilight just looked at me sadly and helplessly. I assume like me she had hoped the Princess had some sort of an answer. Any kind of an answer. I was stuck, millions of miles from home. Hell LIGHT-YEARS could be my assumption as well.


Taking one last gulp of air I steadied my breathing and stood up defiantly. No way home? I will resist. The only of my kind on a planet of ponies? I will resist. Should this planet have prejudice and fear of me?! I will fucking resist. I once read a saying and drilled it into my head that courage was never the absence of fear, it was the resistance to fear. And right now I needed all the fucking courage I could get, I was screwed if there really was no way home. So better start showing backbone now.


"Thank you Princess Celestia. I know you must've tried, and I sincerely thank you. If you don't mind I'd like to.. walk to sort out my thoughts. Is that a problem?"


She shook her head and smiled apologetically to me again. "I would like to review the notes over with Twilight. If you could though, please stay on the castle grounds. I will have questions for you later and wish for you to remain close when I must call upon you to answer any inquiries I have."


I nodded thankful for the chance to walk and sort my head out. Walking always calmed me, settled my nerves and I really needed that right now. Staring down at Spike I gave a sad smile to him. "Sorry Spike but could I take it alone? I really need the privacy."


He nodded in understanding and mumbled something about visiting an old friend named Joe. I quirked an eyebrow at his back and started to walk the regal halls of the castles interior. All the halls were adorned with flags, and some even had portraits of what I could only guess were regal ponies from the past and ponies of importance in their history. After much fumbling around in the halls I saw an archway lead to an outside garden and said a silent thanks to no one in particular.


Ah, Finally you are alone, I've been waiting for this opportunity since you arrived.


I stopped abruptly at the sudden invasion in my head. That.. that was most definitely not my voice. Wait.. "No, no way!"


Oh yes, I'm afraid. I know it was your mind I touched before you came here. I can very vividly remember the taste of your thoughts.


"You.. Your the voice I heard when I was back on my world. The one before I stepped into this world! Who are you!?" I whispered harshly, I could hear it loud within my head but frantically looking I could see no other pony beside me who could be doing this.


Me? You care about knowing who I am? I'm touched. Really I am.


The voice let out a haughty laugh and I felt my skin begin to chill slightly. Whoever it was had to be very powerful at magic, but for some reason they seemed to be toying with me for their amusement more than trying to torment me. "Are you going to tell me who you are? Or should I just assume I've finally snapped after hearing I can't go home and you are a part of my psyche? A coping mechanism that I'll need to use to get by for awhile here in this magical pony land."


Oh now you just insult me. Really, do I sound like something you would dream up? You humans are far more interesting than I would have imagined.

"Enough with the games. You going to tell me who you are or not you fucking hallucination."


My, my. You humans have such colorful language. I wonder if Celestia would still be kind to you if she knew half the things in your thoughts. Or dare say half the things you say in private. You are such a delightful creature. So full of chaos, angst, fear, and so little joy in your life. I have peeked into your mind, such painful memories. So little triumphs, and yet you persist. I have to wonder why though, what do you hope to win? Admiration? Self-satisfaction? Or merely you have no other goals in life you just think going forward is your only choice.


"Your name." I demanded now becoming irritable. This was getting old, fast. I really was about to turn after a moments silence but the bastard finally spoke up.


Fine, fine, I will tell you. Are you always so impatient? I am known to these ponies as Discord.

The Equestrian Inquisition

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"So let me get this straight, you're saying I'm not the first human to step foot in Equestria. Mind telling me how you came to know this, being made of stone kinda means you don't get out much."


Do you think I've sat here all my life? That I'm some stone here to decorate Celestia's garden collection? No human, I thought you would have more intelligence than that. For a time I was nothing more than Canterlot's resident prankster. My pranks were merely small, miniscule and not coordinated for anypony.


"So what happened?" Damn, I was really going to get sucked in to asking about his past wasn't I? My curiosity really couldn't stop though, after hearing that he had told me I wasn't the only human ever in Equestria, I wanted to know what had happened to him to warrant him being encased in stone.


Well you see, I couldn't control myself after awhile. The pranks became a part of my life, hearing their delightful shrieks were what I needed to keep myself from becoming bored of my everyday life. As it went on I eventually was considered a prank terrorist. A sort of chaotic deity that they soon called me Discord.


"Wait, wait, you mean your name isn't Discord?"


I told you that is what these ponies called me, not that it was my name. Believe you me, it is very intoxicating for me a being who practically loves pranks and chaotic themes to be called Discord. And in answer to your question, no, that is not my real name.


"So what is your real name than?"


Oh no, no, no. I am not going to kiss and tell all, maybe after a third date.


My face grew hot at the suggestion and I was about to give him a nice fluent string of curses before he roared with laughter. "You're an ass."


And a goat, snake, and a few other things to boot. But we're not talking about me, oh wait, yes we are, but not about my body. I am sensitive about the subject on my looks mind you. The nerve, you'd think your humanity would teach you some tolerance on people's appearance.


"You're not a person. Last time I checked the biology books, you don't resemble a human."


Not important. As I was saying, it was becoming out of control and Celestia along with her sister saw me... 'harassing' her beloved ponies. So I was locked up for my troubles. Before I was though I had managed to sneak a peak in to their archives, hoping to just switch the covers of some of the books as a practical joke. I found books there that made mentions of a race in resemblance to you. Some were observation reports, others were journals of ponies who lived with them, two were even of a pony who accepted a human as a mate.


"What?! You mean ponies have.. mated with humans before?"


Oh don't be so close-minded. You think you're the first to get aroused from a pony before? I assure you, the things I read you wouldn't even think someone could write this much down and not melt the pages right off the cover. I even felt guilty for a few seconds having read it myself, but that quickly passed.


"So..." I drawled out trying to switch the topics. I knew what he was talking about, but that doesn't mean I had to acknowledge it at this moment. "...about these books you say you found. Princess Celestia told me that they had nothing like that in their archive. So either she's lying, or you are. Fess up, what happened to the books if they aren't in the archives section."


Believe it or not I shared them with an associate of mine. We both had a great curiosity for your species, and we had hoped to one day meet one of you and integrate some of you humans in to our society. It would have cured my boredom, and his curious nature. I was however sealed before we could make the necessary preparations to attempt the spell. The book must have stayed with him, though with me being sealed I can't even begin to know where it is now.


"Is it possible that someone else has it, and became fascinated with my kind and tried to bring others in to your world?"


Of course it is possible. Now, I thank you for this conversation and the chance to meet one of your kind. But you need to go, you are needed elsewhere now and I think if you associate with me Celestia will banish you to the moon. You'd be the third to make the trip.


Third? Who were the first two? As I opened my mouth to question him I heard someone clear their throat to get my attention. Clamping my mouth shut I turned and saw one of the guard ponies had apparently come to drag me back to the Princess. We walked in silence toward the castle, passing some of the familiar archways I took to the garden and finally arrived where I first met the Princess.


I was curious when we kept walking to another hall, I saw columns of white pillars leading to a double door chamber. I noticed the doors were a polished wooden brown but had a blindfolded pony holding a scale with one of their hooves. I could only assume they were taking me to some sort of court room to ask me the questions that were soon to follow. As the doors were pushed open by magic I noticed the Princess seated with four other ponies. Two of them looked like Celestia with the whole Unicorn/Pegasus thing going on only one was pink and the other was rather dark. The final one in the room was a male unicorn, and I could only guess his lack of wings meant wings only run on the female side of the gene pool.


"Greetings Siegfried. Please approach the royal court. I'd like to introduce to you Princess Luna, Princess Cadence, and finally Prince Blueblood. I've asked them here to witness the proceedings I do hope you don't mind."


I shook my head and bowed from my waist deeply, my hands at my sides. "Not at all Princess Celestia." I could make out Twilight and Spike to my left from the corner of my eye, but I saw them with another white male pony who had a piece of armor that suggested he was of a much higher rank.


"I'm glad, reviewing some of the material Twilight and I reviewed together I can understand your people and their advancements as well as their short-comings. Do you deny your people have had a tendency to war?"


Aww shit. Really? "No, I do not deny the accusation."


"Do you feel that is because within your race their exists a malevolence in your psychology?"


"I believe most humans have the ability to be aggressive when necessary. I have always believed that aggression has also helped shape our culture and allowed us to overcome many obstacles as well as create many problems within our society and ruined any relations to peaceful solutions. I also believe that wars have happened over misunderstandings, mistrust, idiotic pride, and the fact some leaders have had their heads so far up their ass they didn't even think of their people." I huffed that last part out.


"Than do you feel that your kind would welcome relations with our race or others who inhabit our world?"


"My race has always dreamed of finding other forms of intelligence in the vastness of space. They have always dreamed or feared what they would find but the fascination has never died. We always hoped that if we DID find anything they would be friendly. However we would be cautious, and if need be defend ourselves at all costs."


"Than how would you feel if ponies asked you to leave their towns? Their homes, their cities, if they were afraid of you?"


"Me? Well I would honor it. I don't want to scare anyone but it's kinda hard to when your alien to the world you land on right?" I saw that smile try to tug on her lips and felt one of my own forming at the corners of my mouth.


"Excuse me, but if I may. If you were to be asked to leave, where would you go? From what I heard you cannot go home to your own planet, and we don't have the means to send you back. Therefore, I wonder if you were asked to leave would you leave Equestria? Or would you leave this planet?"


I stared at Prince Blueblood considering his words carefully, he was right. Where would I go if I was denied residence in any of the towns of Equestria. "I suppose I would go where I would not bother anyone. Though I'd like to get a chance to prove myself, if need be I will find shelter somewhere and stay away from any pony civilizations."


"Than let me ask, let's say for the sake of discussion that we do allow you to take residence in our society. That you would be granted a special visa in Equestria. Would you have any problems following our traditions? Our laws and adhere to them?"


"No, no problems at all. I would need to know them first however."


"We have made a decision, but a final question, if I may." Princess Celestia interrupted Blubloods questions and he took a step back sitting on his haunches. I stared at Celestia and could see the seriousness on her face meant that this next question was going to have to be considered really well.


"Would you promise that you will help any pony in need, not give in to hate, and that you stand by our kingdom if anything should threaten it?"


I stared a bit shocked at the simplicity but she continued to stare at me with that serious tone. "I will do whatever is necessary to be welcomed in to your society, and if accepted, stand by Equestria even in it's darkest hour." Celestia smiled and turned to her companions, who each gave a nod of approval. She than looked to me with a nod and smiled even more brightly.


"Siegfried, you are given a special visa to reside in PonyVille. Twilight will be your counselor, she has already accepted the idea to watch over you and allow you to stay at her place until you can become more settled. I would ask that you send me or my sister Princess Luna any reports of progress you have or problems adjusting with our society. Oh, and welcome to Equestria."

The Want Ads

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"I understand it's a little soon Twilight, but I need a job regardless. You can't keep me locked up in here, it's been three days since the Princess gave me the visa. I'm going stir-crazy woman!" Her ears flattened as I raised my voice, I didn't mean to but I'd been locked up in this library for three days!! I'm going crazy, the walls are closing in, I've read every book of interest on these shelves, and dammit even Owlowiscious is getting more action than me.


"I know you're frustrated but we haven't even seen how you would act in a social setting with other ponies. We just started your social skills training yesterday, and you know most of the do's and dont's for social conversation. I even had planned what to do if you were approached from a romantic interest later this week."


"I don't need relationship advice. Especially when--"


"What?! Why?! Is it because I don't have a colt-friend or some special-pony?! I can give at least some good standard romance advice if you were approached by the opposite sex. Besides, I'll have you know I've been approached by a lot of good stallions in this town, even a few mares as well. So don't think I don't have options!" She was heaving as I sat back leaning on the wall.


"...okay, touchy subject but no. However I doubt I can even date a mare without bits in my pocket. That's kinda elementary Twilight. Without any sort of funds it is kinda hard to court anyone, don't you think?" Turning my head I stared at the bookshelf voicing my doubtful thoughts aloud. "I'm still unsure on the idea of dating a female pony. It's not like I'm completely disgusted by the idea, but I think the best way to say it is I'll cross that bridge should I come to it, okay?"


That caught her by surprise, her head fell slightly as she whispered a 'Oh'. I stared across the room eyes locking on to her. "I appreciate the idea of giving me advice, and I probably will ask you for some should the need arise, but as it stands right now.. I REALLY need to get outta this tree."


"Well, I suppose some-ponies don't like being cooped up with books for three days straight, like I do, huh?"


"Nope, I don't mind it, but I think three is where I cannot take anymore."


"So what are you going to do now?"


"What any guy does when he needs the cash, what my father an' forefathers did the soon as they heard of opportunity out west, what every damned man has to do an' probably hates every minute of it. I'm going to find me a job."


"So what are your skills?"


Ugh, I hated that question with a vengeance. This was my third job-interview today, thankfully these ponies had a different system than humans did. Not much on paperwork just walk-in, ask for the job, and there, instant success. ...Well it would be if a pony would be willing to hire me, dammit!


"Well, I'm really good with lifting. I've got a lot of stamina, I am punctual, and I work cheap!" I smiled nervously trying to sound convincing, I mean really this was "Quills and Sofa's", how hard could it be to work here?!


"Well, I'm sorry we are just not really looking for anyone right now. Business is a bit slow on the sofa side, y'know? So Quill's are really all I sell, a lot more actually since that librarian moved to town. Sometimes I even have to order extra just to make sure I can keep them in stock!"


Sigh, this was another bust, and after I thanked the owner I decided to look at the list of jobs Twilight had written down for me. I started to go down the list, "Let's see, 'Animal Caretaker needed, please respond with utmost urgency.', Well it can't be that bad. I mean what kind of problems could arise from taking care of animals."


I read that the location was a cottage on the far side of town, on the edge of Everfree. Huh, I wondered how big that forest was since I don't recall spotting a cottage when I met Twilight. As I tucked the paper in my back-pocket I started to recite what I could say to get this job.


"I happen to love animals, yea I had a few dogs and cats back home where I lived. They were so much of a joy to take care of. Of course it won't be a problem to look after animals that may not be cats or dogs, I'm sure I can adapt very quickly. Humans have learned to domesticate all kinds of animals on my world, so I'm sure this will be no problem at all."


Cringing from my sales pitch, the idea was just loathsome to have to exaggerate for every job. Seriously, I couldn't get a job at the Sugar Cube Corner because they told me that their other employee was a handful and having me there they couldn't afford anything to go wrong. That Mr. Cake was nice though, not compared to the next one. I was flatly told no by the next potential employer. It's alright though, I don't think I could have come up with a sales pitch to sale fans anyway.


Finding the cottage I double checked the description to check this was the place. Walking up to the door each step I tried to repeat my introduction in my head, than knocked on the door lightly. 'Right, bend down, don't forget ponies don't like to stare up at something huge in their doorway.'


I took a knee on the front porch and heard a soft "Hold on please." Wait... I know that voice, oh crap! "Yes? Oh! It's you, Mr. Siegfried. Can I help you?" There standing in the doorway was that pegasus from Twilight's. Fluttershy? Oh damn, hope I remembered her name right. Wait, dammit, no, not here for that, focus man!


"Hello, I'm here about the ad."


"The ad? What ad?"


Reaching back I pulled the paper from my back-pocket and showed it to her. "Animal caretaker? I was looking for work in PonyVille and saw this ad, so I came to hopefully help out."


"Oh! That ad, yes, of course. Uhm.. do you have any experience with animals?"


"Well back where I come from I had a few pets. Two dogs and three cats, I also used to help my uncle with his chicken farm, I also have taken care of a goat for a cousin before. That's it really."


"Wow, they had those kind of animals back where you come from? That is great, I was worried about having to say no to you." She seemed to let out a sigh of relief. I honestly felt myself relax as well not noticing I had tensed up as I listed all the animals I had taken care of back home.


"Well I was curious on the job myself. This is your cottage correct? Are you overwhelmed or is it some kind of emergency?"


She seemed to look past me, and with a heavy voice confessed that there was an emergency. Apparently her parents needed her to come home for some family issues. She really wouldn't tell me what, but I didn't even attempt to pry as I felt I knew all I needed to know.


"So you need someone to watch over your animal friends while you are away at Cloudsdale, and you don't expect to be back for a while. I can help, is there anything specific I need to watch out for?


Fluttershy seemed to look back into her home nervously, I looked behind her to see a small white rabbit who seemed to be looking at me with a glare. "Well, Angel bunny can be a real handful. Last time I had Spike watch over my animal friends Angel gave him such a hard-time. So I was worried it would happen again. He can be... difficult."


I eyed the rabbit for a moment, and could see a flare of mischief in his eye. For a moment a thought raced across my mind as he locked eyes with mine, 'I can take him.' Breaking the stare my gaze shifted to Fluttershy, "So is there anything else?"


"Oh! Yes, I have a rather large friend coming over tomorrow for a check-up. He may refuse but you simply must make sure that he is checked up. Are you sure this won't be a problem for you? I have so little time to teach you anything about them all, and I really do need to be packed up. I was worried no one would come and I really have to get going. Oh, maybe this is a bad idea."


"Fluttershy, I can handle it, okay? I just need to know where you keep your medical supplies and go from there. Please leave everything to me." I attempted to reassure her, I really had no idea what to expect and I could almost guarantee that if I let on I was in over my head she'd go into a state of panic.


"Right, of course. It's just I've never left them with anyone else before Spike, and I really am worried that they will give you such a hard time and you will just want to quit and than you both end up miserable. But I am really worried that something wrong could happen and you won't know what to do, Oh perhaps I should stay."


"Fluttershy?"


"Yes?"


Grabbing her shoulders I stared into her eyes. "Please let me watch over your animals, okay? I promise I will make sure they are well cared for, and.. should I prove I'm more than capable of caring for your animal friends, could you be a recommendation for any future jobs I try to find?"


"Of course. I would gladly put in a good word for you, thank you. I just get so nervous leaving them alone for too long. Thank you, I felt silly for being so worried."


She showed me most of the supplies, some of the food storage so I could be sure to feed them in moderation, what each animal liked and didn't like and who needed to be kept an eye on. Her little bunny friend followed us looking at me with that same glare now and again, we were going to bump heads, I knew it. "So, Siegfried how do you like PonyVille so far?"


We had just finished all the details of what I would be doing while she was gone when she asked me that. "Hard to say, I've actually been in Twilight's home for the last few days. Everything is sort of a blur. I know it's been about a week since I came but I haven't seen much of the town or had much contact with the locals. Besides Twilight you are the only one I've actually really spoken to."


"I hope you don't think we're scared of you. I know you were.. different when I met you, but I honestly thought you were an interesting creature. I had no idea what you were and I was really curious having never seen anything like you. I'm actually relieved you're friendly. Especially when Spike had told me they found you in the Everfree forest."


"Yea, Twilight explained to me about the Everfree. Is it really that bad?"


"Oh yes. Well, I think so. I don't go in to the forest much. I've only gone in when it's an emergency, but I'm usually with my friends. There was this one time I went in alone, I was taking care of a friends little sister with her friends for a sleepover, and they wandered into the forest. When I found them we ran in to a cock-a-trice and it was really quite an adventure. I was scared though, did you know a cock-a-trice could turn you to stone?"


"Stone? Really? Wow, I'll have to steer clear of that thing. What do they look like?" She explained to me some of the animals to steer clear of in the Everfree, should I ever need to venture into there again. I made sure to make mental notes so I can be on the safe side. "Fluttershy? I really want to thank you for the opportunity of allowing me to work. It means a lot to me."


She nodded and had her head down obviously embarrassed. The action was very cute, and I felt my heart do a flutter from the way she had her eyes shyly glued to the floor. Deciding this was the best chance to leave, I excused myself and told her that I'd be back the next day bright and early to care for the animals.

First day on the job

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I always hated early mornings. The idea of getting out of bed was always the one thing I hated, as it meant I had to leave the comfort of warmth to face the cold-bitterness of the world. Don't get me started that this isn't even my world to begin with, but it was starting to become home. "Ugh, that's right I have a job now. Time to get up."


Pushing up from my floor-bed the daily morning routine of putting it up, washing up, and eating were already becoming less foreign with this not being my real house. I noticed that Twilight and Spike were still asleep and decided to practice stealth. As I finished getting dressed I had noticed they did not even stir, leaving a note I quietly left the temporary home to make my way to Fluttershy's.


It was a quiet morning, not many ponies seem to wake up this early and I started to worry that Fluttershy would still be sleeping. Worry began to set in that she may not even be a morning pony, but the thought of seeing her with bed-head was alluring so I decided to continue on my way. The morning rays of the sun were not even over the horizon allowing me to get my eyes adjusted faster without that blasted blinding light, crunch of small rocks and dirt beneath my feet seemed to give off a type of serenity.


The walk hadn't seemed that long and I almost felt disappointed when the familiar cottage came in to view. The strange thing was how quiet and secluded it felt out here. This place was on the edge of the Everfree forest, a forest almost every pony had told me to stay away from because of all the dangers it seemed to posses. A nagging feeling of exploration seemed to tug at my conscious, I wanted to go in there, dangers be damned, but I can't walk in with my bare fists. I wonder if it'd be a violation of my visa exploring the Everfree or owning a weapon. I'll write the Princess a letter about it all later.


Coming to a halt at the door I timidly knocked trying not to rudely awaken Fluttershy should she still be sleeping. I heard a muffled,"Just a minute", come through the door and decided to bend to one knee again. If it ain't broke, don't fix it, right? I waited for a few seconds before I saw the door slowly open and Fluttershy greeted me with a smile, but sadly no bed-head. Damn.


"Hey Fluttershy, I hope I'm not too early. I don't exactly have a watch so keeping track of time is a bit hard for me."


"You don't need to worry, I was actually waiting for you to arrive. Now are you sure you can handle this? I don't want to make you feel uneasy or overwhelmed." Her eyes seemed to still hold doubt, and as much as I understood why, I wanted to crush those emotions so she could relax while she was away.


"It will be fine. I can handle this, your animal friends will be waiting for when you get back, okay?"


"Okay, well thank you again. Oh! Before I forget, I left some bits for you on the table, think of it as an advancement. I have to be leaving now, I'm sorry. Please be careful with them."


She began making her way for the front door and I stepped aside, I took notice that she had on saddlebags but they were unlike Twilight's, they had an opening for the wings upon her back so she could travel. Must be the pegasus model, I wonder if I can get a backpack made for me. Fluttershy spread her wings and gave them a good few flaps before she begun her ascent. I watched her for a few more moments as her figure started to become smaller. How cool it must feel to be born with wings.


Right the job, time to get to work. Stepping inside I was not prepared for a dozen small animals to be staring at me intently, it felt like they were in coordination and had planned to knock me down and have me restrained until Fluttershy got back. Attack of the small woodland creatures, could be worse.. could be fruit.


Atop a small table that centered the room stood Angel munching on a carrot slowly, deliberately, staring at me with such intensity I swear that it was like he was trying to ignite me with some hypothetical heat vision he might have. "We meet again, Mr. Bunny."


That must have caught him off guard, his chewing briefly stopped just enough for me to notice. "So how will this end I wonder, will you be cooperative until Fluttershy gets back, or do we battle it out, here and now, until there is only one of us standing?" If you have never seen a bunny pull off an evil smirk I tell you, it's down-right creepy. "Bring it on litt---!?"


HOLY SHIT! Not only did that rabbit have the guts to follow through with my taunt, the little shit lunged at me from the table clearing the distance in one leap. Than used the half-eaten carrot stick like a blunt weapon, smacking me repeatedly with a fury directed at my face. It was a flaw though that he had not grabbed on to something for leverage and I instantly grabbed at his backside and flung him across the room. Breathing heavily I was more shocked at his action than hurt, but decided since this was the play-out I'd do what was expected of me. We would fight to the death!





...Or so I thought. You see even though I'd love to make that little cotton-tailed devil pay for his aggressive behavior, I would find a hard time explaining to Fluttershy why her... "Angel" was missing. So instead it became a duel, best two out of three. The first was my victory with us wielding carrot sticks as sabres and a odd fencing match. The next became a chess match to which I lost hopelessly, although that was probably because I always sucked at Queen's Gambit openings. You know I had no idea a bunny could be such a strategist. The final match, was a massacre. A no holds barred food fight. Many vegetables and fruits were lost that round, and it all ended with a tomato to the rambunctious rabbit. As he fell and lay there his little foot twitching I smiled in victory, until I heard one of the cardinals start whistling a very good performance of "Taps".


"Alright, that's enough." All eyes were upon me and I stared down at Angel grinning. "You lost, now come on. I got a lot of work to do and I would rather have your help than us at each others throats. Truce?" Extending my hand in a peaceful gesture I half-expected the rodent to smack it away. To my surprise he actually smiled warmly and shook my hand nodding in agreement. "Finally, now I gotta clean this all up. I need to ask though, Fluttershy mentioned a visit from a friend today. Do you have any idea who it might be?"


The nervous glance Angel sent me did not make me comfortable. He nodded and began to drastically emphasize the creature I was to be visited by but I couldn't place it. Something that would apparently be huge in size, sharp teeth, real nasty temper. "Oh great, I wish I had more experience with charades. I don't have a clue what you're saying Angel." The poor guy face-palmed.. wait, is it a face-palm if he's got paws? Face-pawed? ...Whatever, not important. The cleaning was just about done and I salvaged what I could from what food wasn't a total mess. Feeding most of the indoor animals was a bit easy, most were just birds, a cat, and a few small rodents. That left outside, so I did a quick check to see all indoor animals had been taken care of before making my way out the door.


A few seeds thrown on the ground lazily and that took care of the chickens, now I had to feed some of her other more interesting animals. For a moment I felt nostalgic as if I was back in a petting zoo back home, except now all these animals had me as their caretaker. Returning to my duties I continued to distribute the proper quantities of food as Fluttershy had instructed me to do so previously. Suddenly there was a tugging at my pant-leg, I stared at Angel half-expecting him to be causing mischief. However the look in his little eyes showed me he was panicking to get my attention, deciding I had beter see what was going on I followed him to behind the house and was met with a loud thunderous roar.


"Holy hell!" Instinctively I stepped back. Okay, fine, I fell on my ass and crab-walked backwards quickly. "Angel, what the hell is going on?" Angel having stared at the bear for a moment performed charades again, but they were the same motions he had shown me earlier. Wait a fuckin' minute! "You mean to tell me this is the friend Fluttershy was expecting today?" Angel placed a paw on his nose signaling I hit the nail on the head. Great, a bear.. a giant angry looking bear! "Uhm... What can I do for you sir?"


A loud roar again.


"Ma'am?"


Another roar! What the hell man!


"Well if you don't know, I'm not going to check your plumbing dammit!"


Another.. you know what, you can guess what it was. Only this time he/she sounded really angry at being insulted to like that. This was aggravating me really quick. "Look, what do you need? Fluttershy kind of forgot to mention what I needed to do for you, I'm acting in her stead. So.. what can I do for you?" The bear looked at me for a moment before standing on it's hind legs and began to roar as if trying to intimidate me. For some reason however I wasn't scared, but more angry that this animal should have understood what the hell I was trying to say. Standing up I cannot believe what I did next.


"SIT DOWN!!!" Pointing my index finger sternly toward the ground my voice carried into an echo through the trees of the Everfree forest. The bear actually fell on its butt and groaned a bit sadly. "That's better. Now, what seems to be the trouble?"


The bear laid on its belly and seemed to grunt to Angel for help, both looking at me hoping I would understand now, Angel began to imitate a masseuse. "OH! Well damn, why didn't you say so in the first place?" Both Angel and the bear face-palmed. What?! How the hell was I supposed to know the bear had a knot in his/her shoulder blade. As I approached the bear laying down I started using my elbow and made an attempt to relax the afflicted muscle. "So, Come here often?"

My Kindred Spirit

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You'd think they'd have a law against this. Seriously, this was torture in some form yet to be discovered I'm sure. Have you seen half the laws created in the states? There had to be SOME law against this!!


"Easy. EASY! I bleed just like you ponies do."


The self-proclaimed expert on PonyVille fashion huffed at my protests and continued to check for any adjustments needed to the new pants I would be using. If she wasn't the only seamstress in town I swear I'd be elsewhere, granted she was an awesome talent to her job but her attitude was starting to irritate me. "Twilight, can you use a spell to silence his insistent ramblings?"


"Ramblings? Lady if you want me to ramble I swear I can oblige you to--" Twilight made a slash across her throat pleading at me to cease my ranting. Hah, rambling. I haven't even begun to ramble! Taking a breath I attempted to stand perfectly still until I felt the prick of a needle accidentally jab into my leg again! The 'professional' seemed to notice my sudden involuntary movement and clicked her tongue in annoyance that I instinctively twitched at the invasion on my leg.


"Ziggy, could you just try to be patient for a bit longer?" Twilight looked like she was really caught between a rock and a hard-place. Though Spike seemed to be ogling at Rarity's every movement and for the moment I wonder what he saw in this infuriating woman. However I merely chalked it all up to being angry at having been pricked with that damned needle for the seventh time since she wanted to readjust these pants. What made it worse was it wasn't even necessary! They fit fine! There was enough leg room to where it slacked just how I like it. She could easily make a profit off me as I'd buy them in bulk, if she wasn't so insistent that something was wrong.


"So when is this party happening? That pink friend of yours was talking so fast I think half the words just went through one ear and out the other." I asked Twilight trying to get my mind off the pulsing feeling in my leg, and try to tell if I had blood dripping down my shin. Please tell me she didn't break skin, because I swear I will give her an earful to the point Spike will have to hose me down with his fire-breath.


"Well, Pinkie Pie usually has parties for newcomers to PonyVille. There really is no reason as to you being any exception. I'm sorry but you can't get out of a Pinkie Pie welcoming party." Twilight seemed glad at the chance to get my attention away from her friend. She probably took it as a sign that I was not angry. I'm afraid not Twilight. Anymore stabs and I'll lunge at her like a certain unholy bunny I dealt with yesterday.



"Ah, don't worry about it. I was able to be under her radar for this long, eventually she had to find me, no? I'm more curious what your welcoming parties are like. I mean I've never seen a pony dance and the idea is really amusing to me."


"Oh, well I'm not a bad dancer. Not the best though, I just started going to parties since I arrived in PonyVille. So I'll try not to disappoint you." I had to bite down a laugh otherwise the needle would have probably found itself in my leg again by 'accident'.


“Does she do this often? Is it like some sort of pony ritual I don't know about?"


The look on Twilight's face told me that she was trying to pick her words carefully. Than with what sounded like a sigh of defeat she bowed her head slightly keeping eye-contact with me. "No, it really is just a Pinkie thing. You will find out she is one of the friendliest ponies in PonyVille, and I actually think has the most friends anywhere on Equestria. She just tends to be random, and sometimes can appear out of anywhere as if she were waiting just for you to show up."


"So one who defies the laws of physics and becomes an anomaly? Something along those lines Twilight?" The look she gave me was priceless, as if I couldn't accept Pinkie's antics so easily. However I think she failed to understand that I was an alien on another world, trying to understand things was already thrown away my third maybe fourth day here.


"Finally! Thank you Siegfried, I'm done with your pants now. They look magnificent, though why you insisted on these denim jeans I’ll never know. Honestly you would look so much better in some trousers darling." Rarity eyed the pants as if she were just trying to find something wrong with them so she could make one more adjustment. I decided to jump down quickly off the platform before giving her the chance.


"Just be glad I didn't ask you to make me some cargo-pants. Or worse yet, some Jnco's, you'd faint if you had been around during that fashion disaster Miss Rarity." Oh to see the look on Rarity's face as some jeans were half-dragged across the floor, she'd faint at the sight of it. Sadly I don't feel like torturing the poor girl, I'm glad to have some decent fitting jeans on me again.


"Well ladies, I'm completely satisfied. Miss Rarity, I'll be stopping by for some more work. How are you at hoodie-jackets?" I headed for the exit and heard her start boasting in her own abilities. Yea, she was good but she loved to toot her own horn. Sadly I had no argument to counter her abilities so decided to make haste for a party with my name on it. We said our good-byes with Twilight having to drag Spike out by the tail.


"Man I tell you, these things fit better than the one's I brought from my world. I can't wait to break these bad-boys in." I had bought a few pairs of jeans and had at least a few other t-shirts made. I couldn't continue to walk around in my favored batman logo shirt, though for the moment I wondered if I could help her design some other vintage shirts from home. Ah, I'll think on that later.


"I'm glad you like them Ziggy. I was worried you were going to just leave angry and I would have had to explain to Rarity that you weren't used to custom made clothes. It's very interesting that you humans always wear clothes, but I suppose that kind of equals to all kinds of fashion. Rarity would probably love to visit your world."


"Twilight, she would have some serious fashion meltdowns. Half the stuff people wear is just to make a statement, and even than that statement doesn't even seem to make sense. Honestly, imagine pants that can be used as a parachute."


"Oh my goodness, you're serious." Poor Twilight, she had no idea half the fashion disasters humans could come up with. Although I suppose some of them kind of were great as a fad. Whatever. We had stopped at Twilight's home to drop off my new clothes and than locked up to head to Sugar-Cube Corner. Thankfully Rarity had these clothes ready by today, we couldn't keep pushing the date for this party back anymore with that Pinkie girl getting impatient to throw me a 'Welcome to PonyVille' party.


As we arrived I could make out that a crowd was starting to form around the entrance. Honestly I was becoming a bit of a buzz in PonyVille. I suppose you know, alien coming to their town and not trying to conquer, scored some really good points with the locals. Not to mention a few of them had seen me coming and going from Twilight's, and a few were even nice enough to greet me in the mornings on my way to Fluttershy's.


"There you are! Glad you could make it, the parties just getting started but now that you're here we can really get things started. Oh, oh, oh! Do you have any specific games you wanna play? We got pin the tail, darts, and someone actually brought a bounce house." Pinkie Pie was more excited than I was supposed to be, but I found myself becoming infected by her enthusiam. This was a bigger turn out than I had anticipated too.


"Pinkie, I swear you are in charge of any party ideas I have in the future. This is huge, did you invite all these people?" Part of me wondered if half these ponies just showed up when they heard party. Another part had this strange assumption that they showed up only because Pinkie had asked them to. It would be true she had alot of friends if that were true, and I myself felt like I could be considering her a friend if she was this cheerful with everyone.


The party seemed to be a blur, for me. Possibly too much punch, possibly with me just having too much fun. At one point me and Pinkie actually had a dance battle against one another. I'm not even sure how that had started but it was clear I was outta my league when it came to a girl with a cutie-mark that represented parties. I can recall meeting some mares that seemed to be very interested in me, I can't even tell you if that was them being flirtatious or were t hey just checking out the new human. At the very least they didn't make me nervous.


One thing I did have the chance of meeting was other friends of Twilight's. Another pegasus named Rainbow Dash, who was brash and pretty confident in herself. The one thing I did notice is she had very little tact when it came to asking foward questions. I nearly yelled at her when she tried to see what I looked like without clothing. Thankfully Twilight just told her friend that I was very shy when it came to being without clothes. Yea, we'll go with that.


Applejack was the next friend I met, and her I actually could tolerate. That southern accent actually made me feel a bit nostalgic, and I gathered she would be one I could get along with more than Dash. Her pride was in her hard-work ethic and I knew where she came from. Though hard-work hardly makes for a personal life so it's all sacrifice. Which can eat up at maintaining relationships with friends or loved ones. I told her if she ever needed help on the farm to give me a hollar and I'd be more than glad to help.


I'd met Rarity, but for appearances I got reacquainted with her at the party. Her demeanor changed to that of a high-class lady, not snooty but someone that carried themselves well. Almost brimming with confidence. If she didn't know how to maintain the image of a lady I'd say she could give Rainbow Dash's confidence a run for their money. Still, I suppose my opinion changed of her somewhat, you know, when I wasn't having a needle jammed in to my leg.


And finally I got to meet the one behind this festive event, the Pinkie Pie. I probably should rephrase that as THE Pinkie Pie. Seriously, she knew everyone's name at this party, and never missed a chance to say "Hello" or "Goodbye" to anyone who was coming or going. Not to mention she kept the party in full swing since before my arrival to when I had decided to leave. I had to though, I was still in charge of Fluttershy's animals. Though I didn't get to meet her today, I knew why as did the others. So wishing me well I decided to leave and told Twilight I'd meet up with her later.


It was quiet out tonight, I mean eerie quiet. The moon shined ever brightly above the Everfree forest that I swear it seemed so inviting and I was tempted to explore that very night, but knew to wait patiently. If I did go out tonight and something were to happen to me, no one would be around to care for Fluttershy's friends. I needed to be more responsible than that, but I couldn't shake a feeling that something was really wrong. Leading the last of the chickens into the coop, I scanned the area around the cottage to make sure each animal was sleeping or safe for the night, and the nocturnal creatures were getting ready for their evening ventures. "You bats don't get crazy now, I don't want to have to wake up in the middle of the night and look for you. Remember, I don't have a built in sonar." A small squeak came from one of the four bats that hung from a nearby tree, a small family I had learned from watching them for the past few days.


I turned to the forest once more, longing to race through its winding maze of trees and feeling nature surround me once again. That's when I saw it, a wolf standing at the edge of the forest staring at my direction. At first I felt my instincts tell me that the animals were in danger, but something was odd in its behavior. I continued to eye frantically the borders of the forest and could not find tales of other wolves accompanying this particular one. My mind began to analyze the situation, wolves traveled in packs, that was common knowledge. Lone wolves were rare and hardly ever seen, remembering as much as I could on the matter I also had the feeling something was missing in my knowledge. Something I NEEDED to remember right now. Deciding to wrack my brain and do a good deed I decided to get some water for the guy as peace offering.


Giving it some space I placed the bowl a few feet away from the fence that marked the boundaries of the cottage home. I took some timid steps back and knelt, waiting, my breath becoming slow and steady. I was hoping I could remember what I needed to about lone wolves soon. I was getting jumpy as it continued to stare at me not having moved even once from our eyes locked. It finally approached, slowly keeping eyes locked with mine, its ears were turned down and I recognized this as a sign of uncertainty and submission.


Like a small prickling fire, my mind started to piece together where I had heard the information on lone wolves and finally like a pop-flash coming from a firework it hit me. Lone wolves cannot survive without a pack. It was a sad tale, one I remember as a child when learning of that bit of information. Yea, I was one of those kids growing up wanting to be in a wolf pack. I was fascinated by the images and fables of wolves. But the truth was that wolves were predators, but in a world of talking ponies I wondered if this wolf could talk? That's when I noticed for the first time since it finally approached close enough that it was no ordinary wolf. This wolf had skin made of tree bark. What the hell!? This world keeps getting weirder! Animals that can understand speech, other animals that could speak, hell... forget logic, roll with it!


"I take it you're lost from your pack, I suppose I could be in the same situation as you. No pack around, hell not another human around for... you know I don't even wanna crunch those numbers." I looked to the wolf that was busy with drinking the water so desperately. "You know, if I were you I'd be scared and huddled in a corner. But I haven't even had time to be scared. Guess that comes with trying to fit in to society, but you, you get to wonder the forest and not listen to societies rules.


"Of course if I was you and running with a pack, I wouldn't be scared of shit. But being cut off from your pack? Damn I'm thankful that these ponies are friendly, but can you imagine if they weren't? I'd be up the damned creek without a paddle, hell probably without even the damned boat!" Finishing the water the wolf merely stared at me for a moment licking its lips in satisfaction. I suppose expecting EVERY creature to talk was just silly, but I had a bit of hope the wolf understood something I was telling it.


Making a decision I tested an old theory. "Shake!" Having my hand out I motioned for the wolf to come imitate my actions. However that backfired and it ran back to the border of the forest looking back at me for a moment than wandered into the trees quietly. "....or flee. Whichever works best for you."


I envied that wolf right now, running free in the forest while I had to be the responsible human. Dammit, this sucked. May as well head home and call it a night. A howl made me think of the safety of the chickens and other creatures, finally I decided I was going to have to crash here at Fluttershy's to keep watch. If I could convice Angel to open the door.

Admitting the Problem

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There are many ways to wake up; some are with the sun in your eyes, others are when you are rudely awaken by a loud noise or someone shaking you violently, and there are even times when you slowly awaken to the day. I got to awaken by a chorus of birds singing "Reveille", and though the humor was not lost on me I glared daggers of death at them for the entire time I put away the make-shift bed.

Yawning sleep away I started to head for the bathroom in Fluttershy’s cottage, feeling awkward after having spent the night with Angel watching me to see if I would sneak in to her room. I was starting to become convinced he was "The Bunny from hell" especially after last night; the little hare decided to see how long I could plead my case to let me in before one of the other creatures decided to unlock the door for me. After being allowed entry I had a bit of a workout chasing that white blur before tiring myself out and retired on the couch.

Finally stepping outside I noticed the animals crowding around something that was lying on the floor. "Hey, give it some air guys. Seriously, you act like you've never-- oh! I guess 'cuz you haven't seen it up close, huh?" There, in the front-yard was a small little wolf, though it looked much like the one I encountered the previous night. "He looked much bigger and menacing last night." Honestly the little thing seemed so small now looking at it in the sunlight. I cautiously walked forward toward the small pup. The animals I had been taking care of opened a path for me to get close and I swear they all seemed to look at me expectantly. Kneeling down to get a closer look I noticed that it was breathing normal and had not even noticed our presence. "Oy, wake up sleepy head." I gently whispered and noticed its ear twitch but it seemed to refuse my morning call. "Woof Woof."

It seemed to spring up instantly and looked around nervously but then laid its head down with ears flat. Ah, poor guy thinks we're a mob here to kick it out. "Easy boy, no one is here to hurt you." Slowly extending my hand and placing it on display I wondered for the moment if this wolf would act like the canines on my world. If not, I was in for a hell of a wake-up call.

Slowly it began to sniff my hand, and then licked my fingers. "Well, that's one way to introduce one to another, eh? Question is, do I keep you and are you a threat to anyone here, hell if I do keep you what will be your name?" The pup than began to nibble on my finger and I noticed that it's tongue and teeth really did feel like tree bark. It was a very odd sensation to say the least.

"First things first though, we need to get some food in our belly's. The lot of you, clear the way, its breakfast time." All at once the animals seemed to run to their designated areas. I'm not even sure if Fluttershy trained them to do this, but I do know that after my third day it seemed routine for them.

You know after all this time I was still amazed at how these animals seemed to coexist; I mean where do you see a snake eating next to a squirrel and it looks like none have a grudge toward the other? This was just still sometimes bizarre compared to my own world and I felt at times homesick for the natural order of chaos to balance out harmony. "Wow, I sound like Discord now. I probably just need to do something to sort out my thoughts."

Maybe it was just my not being used to a world where malice was an uncommon. Still, I'm sure that it was around somewhere, though these thoughts should be pushed to the back of my mind and laid to rest for the time being. The small pup followed me after it ate, and I for one could use the company. "So, the question is: Would it be against any laws to keep you? To be honest I don't see any other like you around ponyville. I wonder if the locals would make me get rid of you."

The pup merely laid back exposing its belly in hopes for some attention. "Yea, you sure are young. Wolves usually aren't trusting so easily, but young pups like you are very easily influenced. Where's your pack I wonder, or were you abandoned?" As I continued to rub its underside the pup merely wagged a tail in response. Strange, most of the animals could understand when I asked them a question, could it be too young; a runt perhaps?

I continued giving the little one attention well into the afternoon. After feeding everyone lunch me and the small wolf were napping under the shade of a tree when I heard a small familiar sound of hoofsteps approaching cautiously. Slowly stirring awake I was surprised to see a familiar yellow coat; my eyes continued to travel upward and then looked in to those blue eyes that shocked my brain awake. "Fluttershy, when’d you get back?"

She gave a small squeak, and pointed to the wolf curled up in my lap. "Is... is that a timber wolf?" The small pup yawned in response looked at her, than to me, and decided nap time was far from over as it shifted its weight and laid back down.

"A timber wolf... Is that what their called? I found the lil' guy last night on the edge of the forest. Poor guy looked real worn out so I gave it some water. I fed it some salad this morning and it seemed to eat that just fine. Why? Are these guys like taboo?" I suddenly felt panic rise in my chest. Twilight and I haven't even begun to scratch the surface of keeping an animal; much less what animals would be appropriate in this magic influenced world. Canine half-breed wolves are somewhat common on my world, but this was a wolf pup whose body was made out of wood. The rulebook was out on this one.

“I’ve never seen one up close. I heard from Applejack that Granny Smith was attacked by them once. Oh! And that every now and again they come by the edge of the forest, but… you know, I never heard of anyone being attacked by them anymore now.” Fluttershy could not stop staring at the creature in my lap, and her stare made me very self-conscious at just WHERE she was staring at. I shifted just slightly feeling tightness in my muscles.

“So, do you think anyone in ponyville would be opposed to me having this little guy? I don’t want to ignore him since he seems to like me. That and I think it was abandoned.” In an instant Fluttershy was right in front of me and on her hindquarters stroking the pups back gently. She cooed incoherently to it and I could only stare at her hoof praying it didn't miss the wolf at all.

Think of anything, ANYTHING, but that her hoof is that close to... HELLO!!

Her hoof grazed my inner leg which was enough to cause me to involuntarily twitch, the next thing I know the poor pup was thrown from my lap toward Fluttershy and she showed me her amazing speed by catching it in her hoofs. Then she began cuddling it close to her. Staring straight ahead I saw the pup stare at me as if confused and lost, before the idea of being cuddled finally registered in its mind and it blinked sleep away.

"Well, he seems to like you already Fluttershy." I stared a tad envious of the attention it received from the pink-mane caretaker. It dawned on me why most of these animals flock to her; she really did have a way with animals. One moment ago she said that most ponies that encountered timber wolves saw them as feral; in an instant she didn't see anything but a small puppy lost and alone. "Fluttershy, could you watch him for me for a while? I'll have to talk to Twilight on the idea of taking him. I want to know is it going to be problematic if I own a timber wolf."

"Oh? You'd let me take care of it? Oh! I've never cared for a timber wolf puppy before. This is going to be so wonderful!" She twirled straight up and began to giggle uncontrollably. For a moment I saw the pup stare down at me and our eyes locked, and I understood exactly what it was saying to me. 'What have you done?!'

Landing gracefully Fluttershy gently placed the pup down so it could regain its balance from the sudden vertigo; she suddenly trotted up to me and hugged me. "Oh thank you so much! I get to befriend a new creature that I thought was impossible." And just as suddenly she darted back and stared at me with her eyes wide, I was mimicking her expression though my body was completely frozen. "Oh! Oh dear. I'm sorry. I was just so excited. All I did was wanted to thank you. I-I hope you aren't mad. Oh please don't be mad at me. I'm sorry."

Alarms started to register in my numbed mind and gears started to turn. I quickly closed the distance between us and grabbed one of her hoofs. "It's fine. I was just, um... surprised is all. I never knew you could be so forward when you're excited. It was... nice." My cheeks betrayed me and I could feel the heat coming off my face. It was FAR from nice to me. I swear I wanted to feel those hoofs around me again. Taking a shaking breath I tried to give an award-winning grin to convince her I was comfortable with pony contact. Her expression seemed to show me that I needed to practice said look.

"I-I need to go unpack. Angel bunny probably is going through my things and making a mess. It was nice to see you Ziggy, tell Twilight I said 'Hi'!" Before I could utter a response the door slammed ending any chance of that. Staring at her door I stood there my mouth agape wondering if I just metaphorically shot myself in the foot.

Slapping my forehead I than noticed she somehow sneaked the wolf-pup inside while I wasn't looking and I slumped away noticing I had no leverage to get her to try and talk with me.

The walk to Twilight's seemed to pass so quickly I still felt my cheeks reddened as I reached for the door. Taking a few deep breaths I calmed myself closing my eyes and then pushed the door slowly. "I'm back; Twilight, Spike." The small dragon was dusting a bookshelf and returned my greeting. I noticed Twilight was sitting at the center table, her head buried within a very thick book. Clicking my tongue I knew I was going to have a tough time getting her attention. Although I had an idea on something that might.

"Twilight?" I seated myself across from her and tried the usual approach first, though I was already sure it would fail. All I received was a halfhearted 'Uh-huh'. Right, I looked to Spike who shrugged his shoulders.

"Twilight, I need to talk to you." Another 'Uh-huh'. Fine, I tried to play nice.

"Twilight. I think I'm in love with one of your friends, but I need your advice." I saw her ear flicker and knew I seemed to catch her interest. Though now I needed to grab all her attention away from that book. "Also, I need to write a letter to the Princess. I found a timber-wolf pup, and I want to keep it."

"WHAT?!"

Ouch, who knew she could scream that loud. Wait; did she use her magic to boost her voice? Dammit, that's not fair! Stupid magical ponies.

In love with you

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“Explain to me how you honestly think keeping a wild animal, which no one has any knowledge of, is a good idea?” Twilight was pacing the room as we awaited the reply from Princess Celestia. It was a simple letter asking if there were any violations if I were to keep the small pup. I did make it a point to Spike that we add 'pup' to the letter, so that I could play it to her female instincts.

“It’s simple, you’re imagining a full grown wolf but it’s a puppy Twilight. It probably can’t even defend itself in the Everfree if it needed to. I want to raise it because I think it was abandoned.” I stared at her from the same spot when I attempted to get her attention. Spike was sitting on the steps and was just watching us, though I locked eyes with him for a moment and he seemed sympathetic.

“You don’t understand, do you? Timber wolves live in the Everfree forest; Nopony is going to easily accept such a pet. Most of the time ponies avoid going near the forest; and for you to have a creature that lives there for a pet will mean you’ll be more of an outcast than you already are!” Her tone was pleading, and if it weren’t for me having seen the pup before, she really would’ve had me convinced to give up on the idea. Though after having seen Fluttershy so excited over it, I had the will to try and see where this would go.

“I appreciate you looking out for me. In truth I couldn’t ask for a better care-taker than you Twilight, but the truth is I have to try. Would you ask me to abandon an animal that young?” Damn, I really didn’t mean to turn the tables back on her. It just felt as though she were backing me into a corner with the conversation. I started to curse and berate myself as I saw her staring at me wide-eyed, obviously thinking of a response.

Spike however decided to intervene, blasting a green flame that tickled my cheeks as it danced dangerously close. Thank the Princess for small miracles; though I had to wonder if Spike intentionally burped his flame that close to my face. “Well I guess our arguing is done. Let’s see what the Princess says Twilight. Spike, would you do the honors?”

Clearing his throat Spike addressed both me and Twilight.

“To Siegfried,

Thank you for asking me first on this sensitive matter. It is my belief that with your arrival the locals of Ponyville are learning of your characteristics. I would welcome the idea of you showing them you are capable of a huge responsibility; that being the first ever caretaker of a timber wolf. To the residents of Ponyville the timber wolves are an unknown element, one who only journey to the edge of the Everfree forest at the time of a special harvest season.

It is my wish that you be given this task which will be the proof to Ponyville that you are capable of living among them. Perhaps you could even show us how to coexist with the timber wolves so that we do not trespass in to their territory. Perhaps even domesticate a few so that we could learn even more of their kind. Please be prepared for a small visit from me in two days’ time. I for one would love to see this small creature with my own eyes.

Sincerely,

Princess Celestia”

A satisfying grin crossed my face; I knew emphasizing puppy would work in my favor. After rolling up the scroll Spike looked to us both and began to slump his shoulders. For the briefest of moments I did not understand why he looked depressed. This was his Princess, who was coming to visit. Wouldn’t he be happy or even overjoyed to see her? It wasn’t until I looked over to Twilight that I finally understood the reason for his sour mood. Twilight was breathing heavily and her eyes looked to the floor in a high amount of concentration.

“Twilight?”

“The princess is coming here?! To Ponyville, no… to my home?!To see a puppy?! Spike! We have to clean this library up from top to bottom! We only have two days to prepare for the Princess’ arrival, and I don’t want her to think we’re unable to keep our own home clean!”

Ah, that would be why Spike looked so glum, he knew his fate before he even finished reading the letter. Now he was stuck with clean-up duty and I’m sure that Twilight would want even the books to shine after he was done. I started to think of an excuse or I’d be resigned to the same fate.

“You know technically, my job with Fluttershy is finished. I probably should start looking for a new job out in Ponyville.” Please be too busy to notice, please, please.

“I understand Ziggy. However I’m sure Spike would love the help, and I think it would be nice of you to start earning your keep around here. So do you think you can help me and Spike with this small favor? After all you are the reason the Princess is coming to Ponyville.”

Wait, did she just… did she just con me? Staring at her for a moment it became apparent she was not joking or being sarcastic. Oh crap, I forgot about that angle didn’t I? She’s got me by the metaphorical balls now. Damn you Twilight Sparkle, why you gotta be so damned smart?

Grumbling something under my breath about ponies being too intelligent for their own damned good, I set to work with Spike on a plan of action. Three hours later and we were done with most of the work when a knock at the door caught our attention. Twilight was down in her lab and I could tell that Spike was eager for a break. Deciding to get the door myself I told him to just cool his claws and wait for me.

Arriving at the door I noticed it was unlocked and wondered why anyone would be knocking. My answer was a vision of familiar pink and yellow. “Fluttershy? I thought you would be home resting? Is something wrong?”

She nervously looked at me and then produced something from under her wing. I heard a small jingle of bits as it was placed on the ground. “I’m sorry; I forgot to give you the rest of your pay. I was just so… nervous earlier and, well you know. I didn’t forget but I was just really not sure how to come after I slammed the door in your face. I didn’t mean—“

I raised a hand signaling her to stop. “Hey, I told you it was fine. I… liked you hugging me earlier.” Ah jeez, just admit you like a pony you idiot. Herself in particular, though some of her friends did have me turn my head too. “Listen, Fluttershy… I appreciate you watching the little guy for me. I still have to think of a name for him later.”

“Oh, it’s fine. I like animals a lot. He seems to get along with angel bunny really well. The two of them were even playing when I left.” Now that was surprising to me. That the little hare from hell could even like another animal. Though I suppose it just didn’t like me. “So, thank you for watching my little animal friends. Most of them have told me nothing but good things about you. I also heard some of the birds liked to pull pranks on you, I’m sorry about that. They do it in good fun.”

One incident in particular stuck out in my mind. One of the woodpeckers thought it would be funny to imitate someone knocking on the front door with its infernal beak. “Honestly, it was kinda fun for me too. I had no idea that any of them had a sense of humor.”

“Well, I should be getting back now. Thank you again, if I ever need you to watch them again can I ask you to do it for me?”

I swallowed a lump that formed in my throat. The idea of being called on sent shivers down my spine. Trying to calm myself I nervously answered her. “Sure Fluttershy. You can call on me for anything whenever you want.” Her smile could make a snowman melt and die happily. Thank the heavens I ain’t no snowman. She waved to me and I suddenly realized I was letting opportunity slip. “Wait a second Fluttershy!”

She leapt in the air for a moment and turned looking at me with a small fright in her eyes. “Y-Yes?”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I, uh, I wanted to ask if you were free sometime, uh… next week?” I tried to ignore the sound of my heart beating in my ears. My pace was becoming more rapid and my nervousness was creeping in to my voice.

“I-I’m free tomorrow if it’s important, why?” Oh damn, too short notice. I wanted more time to prepare but I’ll take what I can get.

“Could… ahem, Could I treat you to dinner?” Simple, keep it simple and play it cool.

“Like… a date?”

Screw cool! Danger levels rising! “I… uh, I guess. Yea, I guess I am asking you out on a date.” Keep it together man!

Suddenly her eyes turned serious to me and all of my attention was directed at her. “C-Could I ask, why?”

“Why? What do you mean, Fluttershy?”

“Why are you asking me out?” Ah, that why. I thought carefully on my answer. I didn’t want to just say I was infatuated and believe she would understand it as simple as that. I wanted to tell her why I became infatuated. Why I wanted to ask her out.

“To be honest, I think I’m in love with you; Or rather falling in love with you. I know that it doesn’t make sense, and I don’t expect it to. I’ve never met anyone back home who would make me so worked up like you do, and to be honest I like that. Every gesture you make, every look you give me sends shivers through me. I’m excited when you’re happy, I like trying to be there for you when you ask me to, and I want to get to know you more.”

That look she gave me, I almost swear I had done something wrong. Time seemed to slow around me as the words she said next would feel like the heaviest impact I had ever taken.

“I-I’m sorry. I can’t. I appreciate your feelings, and I think you’re a wonderful… was it human? I-I just can’t date anyone right now. I’m really sorry.” She was gone before I even noticed.

I’m not sure how long I was just staring at the ground, however when I felt Spike poke my leg softly I looked down to him confused. “I heard what happened. Sorry, I didn’t mean to overhear but you were taking a while and I came to see what happened. You’ve got more nerve than I do, if Rarity rejected me… I don’t know what I’d do. Sorry Ziggy, I wish I knew what to say but the only thing I can think of is: tough break.”

Taking a deep breath I lifted my head up and looked forward not focusing on any particular thing. “You know, my life is nothing but tough breaks. I think I’m used to it. Still, I should’ve known better than to think a pony would be accepting of being involved with me on a romantic level. We’ve got work to do, c’mon Spike.”

With that, we both wordlessly entered the tree we called home and set to work on cleaning the place so it would be fit enough for a Princess.

And they called him...

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My patience was becoming thin as each word escaped Twilight's mouth. I understood I pretty much botched up the first time being in the Princess's presence, and that more than kind of left a very questionable impression on her. Still, now I had Twilight trying to instruct me on what to say if she were to act this way or that. Seriously, she's a princess. From the stories I hear, they had a more regal personality and would act the part. Being courteous, polite, you know all the royal personality traits and responsibilities that came with the title. If the Princess wanted to tear a rug, knock back a few drinks, and get a little wild; I sure was not going to try and convince her otherwise.


Finally we had come to an end on her instructions. Now was the moment of preparation and we both set to finish our tasks. The mare had a good heart, and a very annoying way of running a tight ship, but there were times I just wanted to shove a book in her mouth and walk away. Twilight Sparkle was a mare of intellect, but the amount of knowledge she seemed to want made me wonder if she was power hungry at times. You know the saying “Knowledge is power, and power corrupts.” My thoughts however would be interrupted by Twilight again.


“Ziggy, have you seen Spike?” The purple unicorn mare asked me with confusion in her eyes; I suppose to her that her assistant not being here when the Princess herself could just casually stroll in at any given moment was something she was not hoping to deal with when she awoke this morning. Still, I was thankful to Spike for running the errand for me; saving me from feeling completely awkward for the rest of the day. The day was young however, and I was sure time would allow for my humility later.


“I sent him on an errand for me. He should be picking up the pup so Princess Celestia can take a look at it.”


Twilight was finishing up making the seating arrangements for everyone in the main study room. I could feel the question already incoming, and was prepared hopefully to answer it. “Why is Spike going and not you? I thought you would love for a chance to speak to Fluttershy.”


“Well from what I can gather after last night, she doesn’t seem to share the idea of me becoming her—what did you call it again, special somepony? So yea, I was told very kindly that she was not interested.”


“I’m sorry it didn’t work out. How are you holding up?”


Sigh, to be honest, I wanted an answer. Was it because I was some alien? Hell I still wanted to know why the hell I asked out a pony? Was I serious in trying to pursue a relationship with Fluttershy? Or was I just infatuated and it would pass, the allure gone and I’d wake up one day thinking ‘What the hell am I doing? I’m dating a freaking pony! Snap out of it!’ To be honest, it scared me that I was thinking that way. They all had been nice to me, and I wasn’t even being experimented on.


“I think, I’m okay with it. I mean, it wasn’t that big a deal, but I suppose it’s just that she was so… nice about it that I sort of blanked out.”


Twilight poked her head around the corner giving me a very good view of her raised eyebrow look. “Wait you’re used to being rejected?”


“Yeah, I've had some pretty bad ones. I don’t want to talk about it, if that’s okay with you.” My body felt a small surge of anger at the memories, ones I’d like to bury and keep hidden forever. There are some things you can get past, and some will just make you wish you could hit a reset button to stop that moment in time.


“So, are you going to stop being friends with her?”


“No. I just want to be away from her. The idea of her being around would make me... nervous." That was being kind, if Fluttershy was around me I don't know if I could stop staring. Than the storm of questions would come and yea, I just didn't need that now.


A loud crash as the door burst open and a white armored male pony jumped through scanning the room before taking a more relaxed position. “The room is secure, this way your Highness.”


So this is how the Princess makes house-calls. Could be worse, could have had a few pegasi smash through the windows and such. A real pain in the ass to clean later, but at least damage was minimal to just the door. “Next time might try to knock, genius.”


The guard began staring daggers of death at me, and though it probably wasn’t the best idea to upset the royal guard I had to take a few jabs. “Some of us got to clean up any mess you might make, ya’ jerk.” A small staring contest started between us, his eyes were steady and sharp and I could feel my eye twitch as I inevitably blinked. You got lucky this time, you feather-head.


“I am sorry about that Siegfried. My guards can be over-zealous at times. They mean well, but they have very poor mannerisms.” Ah, and her highness just happened to over-hear my complaints. The look she gave her guard was one I snickered on about. Someone was in trouble and would possibly hear about it when they got back.


“Hello Princess Celestia.” Twilight and I echoed. Elegant and majestic, I’m not sure if a pony could pull it off, but from a human point of view the Princess seemed to radiate an aura of those two elements which even affected me.


“Please be at ease Siegfried, I’m not that scary being so tall, am I?” Being teased is something I know all too well, though I even could feel the sincerity in her words.


“No, Princess. I rather like 'em tall to be honest." Hey, if she's going to tease I can do a little harmless flirt tease my self. Besides I wasn't exactly anyones special somepony right now, so I don't think anyone could be upset with me.. except maybe...


I turned around to see Twilight staring at me with a very hard expression. Right, I tuned out most of what she was explaining so I probably crossed the line somewhere, far as she was concerned. A very musical giggle floated to my ears and I saw the Princess with a hoof covering her mouth. Score one for me.


At that moment Spike entered followed by a very excited timber puppy who was being followed by.. a very familiar yellow pegasus. Spike, you goof. What the hell have you done?! My mind would have to wait as my pup decided to play tug 'o war with my pant legs. "Hey Mossy, what you want boy? Huh?"


"Mossy? Is that what you are going to call him?" That familiar voice made my heart do a flip, and although the usual reaction would have had me staring at her like some love-struck fool; the current event had made me more resilient to her pony-mare charms. "Actually Fluttershy, I was thinking of calling him Moss-Foot. But you know, Mossy for short." If I avoid eye-contact I'll be fine!


"Oh my, he is quite adorable. Though I've never seen one so little before." The Princess came to inspect the pup closely, and as she came closer Mossy stared at her before sniffing at her hoofs. "Very adorable, and I think it's a very catchy name Siegfried. Oh!" Mossy had as good a taste in mares as me. Licking Princess Celestia's leg affectionately I wondered if he was just a sly dog who knew he could get away with it. "I guess he likes me." ...lucky dog.


"He's a very good dog. Even Angel likes him, I think he'll be great for you Ziggy. You'll both be friends I'm sure of it." My body noticeably jumped, and I am sure some ponies caught my actions. Somehow Fluttershy had sneaked her way beside me, and I could feel her very breath brush past my ear. My heart was beating a mile a minute and I wasn't sure how to react to her statement. A lame agreement was all I could muster to respond with.


I headed to the kitchen away from the scene as everyone seemed to play with Mossy. I know, I know. I couldn't come up with anything more original. Give me some credit, naming a dog was somewhat easy. Naming a wolf pup made of wood? Seriously that's a little outside of what I'm used to. Grabbing a can of what passes for cola around these parts I popped it open and began to drink as my mind wandered.


"Does Fluttershy make you nervous?" Holy crap she scared me. Coughing some soda that took a wrong turn I looked at the Princess.


"I think I'm a little... uncomfortable around her right now. I kinda made a dumb move and asked her out on a date. Not thinking ahead like when I told you how tall you were." A small chuckle at the memory came from us both, and I continued. "See thing is, I don't know why but she really makes me feel at peace here. Like I could actually belong here. Twilight is nice, but her studies are her passion and well.. I'm not really all that bright. Not as brilliant as her, and I think I'd need another lifetime to catch up to her. However, Fluttershy just makes me feel different, I'm completely infatuated with her."


"Ahh, to be in love. It is such a wonderful feeling, isn't it?" I stared at the Princess Celestia like she'd just grown an extra horn. Say what now? That sounded almost like she had herself a suitor or someone in mind.


"Princess, are you dating someone right now?" Twilight would hurt me if she knew I was being so casual with Celestia. Still, I was very curious and that curiosity is like a locked box. You just have to know what's inside sometimes, even if you break a few rules.


"Oh my, are you interested in me? I thought it was harmless flirting." Suddenly she seemed bashful and I felt my cheeks really flush. "And you just asked Fluttershy out last night, you do move fast. Well only if you ask me properly, I will give you an answer." Wait, wait.. WHAT!? Was this seriously happening right now? I must have had my jaw slacked open because she walked up and gently clamped it shut. "I'm teasing Ziggy. I just couldn't resist. I'm sorry."


I let loose a relief of held breath. "Don't scare me like that Princess, please." I could have had a heart-attack right than and there. For a moment the idea of the Princess being bashful and giving me cordial hints at something more had my brain melt.


"Is the idea of dating me unwelcoming?" Oh jeez, seriously? Is she still teasing me or just wanting to seriously know. Alright, no more nice guy. Screw Twilights advice, I'm talking to this Princess with nothing held back.


"Honestly, no it isn't. However like you pointed out, even if you were kidding, I just asked out Fluttershy. And to be quite honest I am in no hurry to give up on the potential of getting her to be my special somepony. Not even a Princess as pretty as you would sway me in that. So, while you are charming in your own way, I still have my heart set on Fluttershy." My nostrils flared to enforce that statement, and she had this really annoying yet knowing smirk on her face.


"I just wanted to see if you were serious about her. I'm glad to know that my suspicions were confirmed. Siegfried, even if she rejected you Fluttershy is very timid. Just be patient and keep trying to attempt to court her, I'm sure you can win her over eventually."


And just like that she left to see what was happening in the other room. The words I just said sunk in and I suddenly realized what it meant. I was not going to give up on Fluttershy, and damn my dignity if I wasn't going to do whatever it took to get her to look at me.

All cloak, no dagger (Part 1)

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"Don't worry; I took care of it before I can do it again. You will be careful right? No unnecessary risks or anything, right? Just 'cuz you are soft-spoken doesn't mean you shouldn't voice your opinion a little louder than normal. Don't let Rainbow Dash persuade you in to anything you don't want to do." I was starting to sound more like a concerned mother instead of a potential lover. Time to ease up on the overprotective parent act or I'd start to really lose any chance I had. "Just come back safe and sound, I'll have some pictures from the Butterfly Migration developed and ready for you, promise."


From what I heard through Twilight, she and five of her friends were needed in a place called 'The Crystal Empire'. What made this all the more nerve-wracking was I couldn't be allowed to go since it was official royal business and the like. All that was fine, I figured since I heard tales of them saving Equestria through Spike on other occasions they'd be fine, sure, I don't mind Twilight or anyone else going. So why did I try to run to the ticket booth so I could go alongside Fluttershy earlier only to be tackled by mares reminding me it was official Canterlot business? Sigh, love makes one crazy, me it makes insane.


"I'll be fine Ziggy, I promise. And I'm not worried about you taking care of the animals again, though I'm not sure I can pay you this time." She gave me a really shy cute smile while her face hid slightly behind her mane. My heart danced like a Mexican hat-dancer around his sombrero. "Will you be alright though? I know you have that new job and you also agreed to help Twilight with her library, can you handle it all? I don't want you to be overburdened."


"I've got it all planned out. There is nothing to worry about." I actually had help from Twilight to plan a schedule, when I saw what she came up with I omitted to a more small-scale version of what could work for me. Her disappointment was pretty evident when I showed it to her, but there was no argument so at least we had a silent agreement on it. Still, I had to do a lot while they were gone, but was determined to show I was capable. Spike would be going with them this time, so I really was going to be independent this time.


"Oh look at you two, bidding each other farewell at a train station while the other patiently awaits their return. My, it sure is a romantic setting wouldn't you think? Though I am afraid we must be getting ready to board the train Fluttershy." Rarity had trotted up with a twinkle in her eye that just gave me the chills. Something about females and their obsession with romance seemed to just illuminate from her coat. Although now thinking about it she hit the nail right on the head, and now that I was aware of how it looked my face began to grow hot. Looking to Fluttershy I could see the same reaction and an awkward silence settled between us both. Damn it, she was cute but damn it all. Things were just beginning to not feel so awkward between us and I was actually glad that she accepted my invitation to hang out and get to know one another. We had settled on watching the migration together when this business came up and well, let's just say I wasn't the only one disappointed.


"Ah, yea, I think I should say my good-byes here too. Be careful Fluttershy, and see you soon." Waving bye I watched them board the train before deciding to start heading back myself. I noticed Fluttershy smiling at me from the window and waving goodbye again, I also seemed to imagine that her cheeks were as tinted as mine. Thinking back to what Rarity said my blush returned. "Yea, we had a nice evening planned and the Princess had to go and ruin any chance of that. Damn my luck." To be honest, there was a really small part of me that wanted to yell out "Damn you Celestia!!" But I figured I'd be trapped in a dungeon for sure if I were to even act on that whim.


Finally arriving at the good ol' tree house I noticed my co-worker at the door. "Hey Runner, what are you doing here?" A grey colored earth pony jumped startled at being snuck up on. He had a very rugged brown mane that needed some mare to comb it for him, badly. His cold blue eyes stared past me, obviously fatigued from today's work, I'm sure. See, the new job I have is pretty much a delivery-pony. No, they won't change my title even with me being a different species. We just deliver parcels and first-class letters for whoever is willing to pay the extra bit. We're a small company so that's kind of why it was easy for me to get the job; the boss really needed employees and business.


"Dude, don't scare me like that. Seriously, I was just knocking to see if you were home. Got a package for you, unknown sender though. Most ponies don't send anonymously to Pony-ville." He was right, most packages don't get sent without knowing who it was from. Odd, why would someone send me something.


"Did you hear any ticking? I swear I don't need any alarm clocks, the damn thing would keep me up most of the night anyway." To be honest, I was thinking more along the lines of a bomb, though I didn't want to worry him. Good thing I had friends in the right places. A shake from his head told me to ease the tension that had built up in me. Right, good, no bombs going off is a good thing. Twilight would be pissed to come back and fine half her house gone. "Well let me sign for it and take it inside, today is a day off but I still got things to do."


We said our goodbyes and I closed the door behind me, eager to open the package. A letter, whoever delivered this really wanted to keep it secret; it was covered layer in layer of packaging paper and cloth. Seriously, what the hell was just delivered to me? Who would go through all this trouble to be sure no one tried to sneak a peek?


A thick layered leather binding book was my reward. Curious I opened the cover to find a letter buried within, addressed to 'The Human'. So, whoever sent this didn't know me personally. The letter smelled of smoke and the odor grew as I opened the envelope. Inside was a very short but elegant written one page message.


"To the human,

Greetings, I will be straight and to the point. I am a researcher on the history of Equestrian lore and it is exciting to be writing to you. I cannot reveal my identity as it could jeopardize all my research. There are some within Equestria who wish this to remain secret and would stop at nothing to keep it so. Your species have come in contact with our kind before. I have discovered that quite a few in fact have come and made lives for themselves in Equestria in fact. None of your predecessors seemed to have been able to return, as I'm sure you have been now made aware that residence here can be quite... permanent. It isn't that we hold you against your will but more that we have no idea how any of you even come in to our own world.


The knowledge that I have gathered suggests at some points when our kind were in contact we could live in harmony. Something I find to be disturbing is that there is no traces of how any of you have come into our world. I cannot tell if it is by your own will, a magic force on your own world you know nothing about, or even if our own pony kind are performing rituals that accidentally keep brining your kind here.


The book I have sent you is a copy of some of my research. Some are merely folk tales that have long since stopped being told. Others are some artifacts that suggest at one point we lived in harmony. The most interesting thing I can say about your kind is you all have the ability to adapt to almost any climate, condition, or environment you are placed in. I wait to see what you will show me about your kind and their ability to grow under any circumstance.


Signed,

A friend"


So, now I was receiving cryptic mail and research material. Problem that now presents itself, how the hell do I keep this out of the hooves of a knowledge thirsty unicorn like Twilight in a library no less! It's not like I can hide the damn thing in a shelf and pray she never finds it. This was going to be really hard. Deciding to open my own Pandora box I flipped through some pages and settle on one at random. Quick reading through it I noticed it seemed to be a type of report that sounded more like a sort of child-hood fable.

Some kind of love story no less, it resembled a pony and a human falling in love. Fairy tales from the quick read, but was there a silver lining of truth behind them? Had people come before and settled in to lives here on Equestria. If that was even the truth though, who was covering it up? And another thing, why was there no information on the history of one being here? Something just didn’t make sense and I figured I’d have to try and do some of my own research.


A thought crossed my mind. I took a second look at the letter and made sure I read it right. If there were ponies who were desperately trying to cover any history of humans in Equestria, could I possibly be a target? If I were would they try to banish me? Erase my existence by kidnapping me in the midnight hour? Holy shit, things just got really complicated.


Than another thought, they were just coming out the workshop today. My brain was working overtime. If I did manage to stay under their radar for the time being, what would happen if they found me with Fluttershy? Would they consider her a accomplice? Would she share in the same banishment? Shit, what the hell kind of trouble was I in now?!

All Cloak, No Dagger (Part 2)

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For the past few days I had been studying the only link I had between my world and Equestria. It was as if my mind was obsessed, and my face was constantly buried in the pages of this somewhat illegal book. What got me thinking was that somewhere in Equestria there were some ponies in powerful positions that did not want anyone knowing of humans. Did it go all the way up to the royal family? Or was this a sort of secret society? Even than, if there were some hiding it, were there others trying to find evidence on it? Not just the one who sent me the letter?


I had more questions than I wanted, and that started to make a sense of panic fill me. I didn't know whether some pony could be friend or foe. The very thought made me cringe, I had started to become very friendly with them. Some I could even talk for lengthy periods of time on just random topics. What if any of them were in this society to keep humans a secret?


Sure, I could assume the worst, but why waste what thinking power I have on that. The only thing that some pony would be able to do is run me outta town, or abduct me. Still, all I've seen is a friendly attitude, though some uncertainty for the "alien" that had come in to their peaceful lives. Even the Cakes seemed to like me down at Sugarcube Corner. I did have a sweet tooth, which had a constant stream of bits flowing in their pockets.


I continued with my reading on the history of my people here in Equestria. One person had actually enlisted in the militia when Equestria seemed to be torn in a sort of civil war. The cause for the war was not in full detail but his loyalty to his brothers in arms was all there. It contained a few journal entries and I was a bit shocked at how he seemed to even found a wife for himself here. Lucky bastard. The journal sort of abruptly ends though, and I’m curious to know if he died in battle or was the journal lost. Another seemed to mind a more quiet life, and found solace in the Everfree. Nothing more than that. Anti-climatic but it's not like I expected them all to be recorded in history.


Not all the information was pleasant though. One human actually was banished to the Equestrian equivalent of Hell. Something called Tartar I think it was, apparently he continued to demand to be sent home and when no one could help him he began to terrorize the poor country folk. I suppose like me, he got to witness their capacity for magic and thought they were lying to him.


The thought of returning home once again filled my mind. If I could return, would I? I really was starting to grow fond of this place. Fluttershy, for a mare, was really breath-taking. Soft-spoken but elegant, kind yet firm when needed, and those wings… hotcha! I mentally slapped myself for starting to drool over the mare of my desire. Down boy, focus on the task at hand.


In no way though did I know think this was coincidence, and I had to talk to him about this. How to make it appear as though I wasn’t doing anything with an ulterior motive was going to be the hard part. Being in Canterlot made me stick out like a sore thumb, but being in the garden where he was made me look like an accomplice. Ah well, I'd burn that bridge when I came to it. Now I had to see if he was home.

"Wake up, stone boy."


"Oh haven't I been tortured enough already, what do you want?"


"I have some questions, and you should have some answers. So let's sit here like we can pretend to be civilized. I'm sure it'll be a blast, you sitting up there as a birds perch while I talk your ear off. C'mon, can you think of anything more fun?"


"Watching you blasted off to the moon comes to mind."


"Cute. Keep it up and I'll be sure to not spread an inch of chaos for you." That ought to shut him up, I'm sure he was dying for some action.


"You've made your point, now what can ol' Discord do for you."


"I need to know if you think someone would be following in you or your friends footsteps. A sort of legacy you two might have left, or if there were others who shared your ideas in the first place."


"And what do I get for telling you, hmm? Although I am stuck in stone don't expect me to be cooperative so easily, I could just as well lie to you for my own amusement. I could also sit here and wait longer than you, believe me."


I held up the book to him but not before taking a quick glance of my surroundings. Last thing I needed was to be questioned by the royal guard on what I was doing with Discords statue. It was already bad enough I was near him, but to be told I could be conspiring with him. The thought made me feel a little like a guilty party. "I'll just have to take your work for it, and for what I can offer not much but a favor. Now remember how you told me you had found a book? I'm not even sure if this is it, but it does have some entries in it that have gotten my interest. Some of these writings I can tell where from my world, they mention events that no pony should know. I'm assuming that it could be a copy of someone else's notes that they've collected. What do you think?"


"I see. Very interesting. No, no one was interested in the subject of humans while me and my associate were digging in to your culture. Even more curious is the idea that ponies would continue to it today. Old bat Celestia had told her people that you were nothing more than fairy tales from long ago. Humans have been around for generations before her time. How you all keep coming here is even a mystery to me, or anyone for that matter. Maybe not for anyone who was around long ago."


Right, so another dead end. "Okay, right. Than next question, do you believe that my life could be in danger? On a hypothetical basis that some pony would want me to disappear? Would anyone be in danger if they friends with me?"


"I doubt it. I would assume that they would ask you to leave, if you were becoming a nuisance. Nothing more or less. Although I cannot guarantee that, and I also cannot guarantee that you wouldn't be dragged away to some pony who would have a very real interest in you."


Ah, so abduction was still a possibility. Though it would take a small gang I would assume, or some really eager unicorns. The thought of some pony being on the same magic level as Twilight caused an involuntary twitch in my lower back. So now the only thing left to assume was that whoever this mysterious pony was, had acted on their own or with the approval of whatever group they belonged to. Could Equestria really be divided on this issue? I haven't met many to suggest otherwise, but again I've only been in Ponyville and Canterlot for a small amount of time.


"Color me curious but, is there a reason you are worried? Something you have done wrong? Something you didn't expect to do but it ended up happening anyway?"


"You could say that. I'm curious on dating a mare, and although I probably had very little chance to begin with, now I have to wonder would it be alright. What if they did something to her just to get to me?"


"So the human has an interest in mares, very interesting. Here I was worried you would be lonesome all your life, separated from your own female kind. Seems like we're not so different after all."


"We? You aren't even a pony. You... you are something that even I can't describe." That came out more harsh than I had intended, and before I could even apologize Discord cut me off. Though his reply wasn't want I expected.


"Do you think that would stop me from falling for a mare as well? For a female of the pony variety? My dear boy, you are sadly mistaken. I myself have had the pleasure of being in love oh so long ago. Never had I met a more charming female with such a taste for disharmony."


It was sort of hard to imagine a love-sick Discord, but to hear him go on and on about the love of his was actually putting my own worries at ease.

Granted they had something in common and that was pranks, the idea of Discord finding love made me start to question: Why couldn't I try?


"So what happened between you two?" Suddenly he got real quiet, eerie quiet. I felt a small wave of panic and checked around me again to be sure that I wasn't being spied on. His voice came at me like a hiss, malice dripping from it.


"I was sealed."


For a moment I had no words to tell Discord, how could I even attempt to make things better. I could relate, though not completely. Something he held precious was taken from him, but it wasn't that she left him or he left her. I had to wonder how things happened for him to be sealed in the first place, what did he do that could deserve such a thing. I wanted to find the words to comfort him, but there were none. This was the bitterness of life, and I only had one thing that could lift us out of a very uncomfortable silence.


However the words that came out were something I hadn't recalled for awhile, and I started to sing them aloud slowly making sure that I had the words correct. "When your chewing on life's gristle, don't grumble, give a whistle. And this'll help things turn out for the best, and... always look at the bright side of life."


Discord seemed silent for a moment, but as I was coming to the finish of the chorus he started to join in and we sung the next part together. "If life seems jolly rotten, there's something you've forgotten... and that's to laugh, and smile, dance and sing. When you're feeling in the dumps.. don't be silly chumps, just purse your lips and whistle that's the thing!"

We both continued on in to the song, letting whatever grief and anguish out with our song. The one thing I did have to wonder was, where the heck did he learn it? Ah well, I won't even ask considering he was pretty good at it. Who knew? I was more curious on how he could whistle since he shouldn't be able to purse his lips, how the hell was he doing that!?

All Cloak, No Dagger (Finale)

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As my meeting with Discord was still present in my mind, I settled into routine and things became normal again. The girls were back, and I was busy cleaning up the library, with no one having any knowledge about my visit to Canterlot.


Keeping Twilght away from that book was becoming harder, and eventually I would be in hot water. I already know she suspected something was up since I volunteered more around the library; now I was busy with the bookshelves. The question of where I could place it no pony would think to look, that opportunity was becoming less and less easy to focus on as each minute seemed to feel like an executioner's calling.


"Siegfried, did you finish dusting all the bookshelves in fiction and science?" Twilight called to me from her lab.


"Yea, I did that already. I'm up to magic basics now, be finished in a few more minutes. Did you need something?" Telling me everything was fine I continued with my work, the faster I could finish this, the faster I could take the book far from Twilight Sparkle's eager mind. There really was no telling how much she would grill me for having a book and not even bringing it to her attention, I needed to get it out of here fast.


Finishing up the last of my duties, I did a quick check-in on Spike. "Hey buddy, you feeling better yet?" Spike looked at me from his bed-basket, moaning his discomfort. Apparently he celebrated a bit too much when he became the hero of their recent adventure. Although I had to agree I'd probably have done the same, instead of letting it get to his head, it went all to his stomach. After eating a colossal buffet of gems the poor dragon couldn't even get off the train without me coming to pick him up and carry him home.


"I figured as much, sorry man. You want anything? Way I figure I'm done for the day, I can pick you up some gems while I'm out." That earned me a gag at the mention of gems, snickering I decided to leave him recuperating. "I got some errands to run so Twilight will be watching you. Just try to sleep it off, I'll catch you later."


Cautiously I picked up the book from it's hiding place, behind the foal's stories and placed it quickly in my custom saddle-bag. I swear, the Equestrian way of talking was beginning to finally rub in to my own way of speech. Now instead of "anyone" it was "anypony", and "kids" were "foals". Thankfully I didn't start eating like them completely, though I have tried a few things here and there. I seemed to have no difficulty eating clovers or chamomile, though I hadn't completely dived in to the leafy greens and flower diet. I wouldn't be all too surprised waking up as a pony one day either, though it'd take time to learn how to walk on four legs instead of two. And to be quiet honest, I liked my two legs just the way they were.


Making my way to Fluttershy's I needed to go see Mossfoot today. I had asked Fluttershy to watch him while I took care of the tree house with Spike ill, top that off with me working again and I couldn't afford to give the little guy as much attention as I wanted to. That and I had a question I wanted to ask her, something that had been troubling me since I got this cursed book.


As I approached her cottage I could see her feeding the animals and Mossy came to greet me. "Hey boy! Who's a good boy, who's a good boy!" I rubbed his belly earning a tail wag for my efforts and a yipe of approval. Fluttershy spotted us and waved me over, with Mossy following I waved back feeling a huge weight build in the pit of my stomach. "Hey Fluttershy thanks for watching Mossy today, Spike still feels under the weather."


"Oh, it's not a problem at all. He's been such fun to take care of, and he seems to get along with Angel so well. Angel rarely becomes friends with anyone so quickly, I couldn't believe how fast Mossy bonded with him." I smiled at her compliments, it was good to know that the whole timber wolf scare seemed to calm down but I had a feeling that some things would have gotten worse had Mossy been more aggressive. For now though he was very docile, even showing dominance to Angel when the two would play together.


I nervously played with the strap on my saddlebag and tried to look behind Fluttershy at some interesting tree. "I'm glad you girls didn't get hurt at all, I know I said it before at the station but I wanted to say it to you personally. You know I wish I could have been there. Oh, I hope the pictures came out well, I haven't even gotten time to look at them. Sorry if any were out of focus."


"Oh! I forgot to thank you for the pictures, they were lovely. I wish I had been here to see them with you, I'm sorry we had to go. I-I had to be there, you know, being the element of kindness and I just didn't want to let my friends down." She hid behind her mane, I loved when she did that her cuteness just seemed to magnify and it made my heart simply melt.

Finding something interesting in the ground we both kicked the dirt as an unbearable silence settled between us. I knew what I was here for, but finally being alone with her again had made me want to just say more. "So I was wondering something the other day, and I wanted to ask you: Fluttershy, w-what would you say if I found a way home?" I was scared to look at her face but slowly brought my eyes to lock with hers. For awhile I couldn't read the expression on her face, it was a complete blank. Her eyes blinked a few times as if the question was not getting through to her at all, than she seemed to start breathing through her mouth trying to form words, after awhile a small trace of a smile begun to form, her voice however sounded.. hollow.


"I-I think that would be great. Yea, great. I mean, you would get to go back home to your own world, and see your friends, and your parents, and everyone. That is what you would want, right? To go home?" I hung my head down in shame. Honestly, home was a really good idea. But I only asked to see if she would've asked me to stay. I was hoping maybe, she would have indicated that she wouldn't want me to go. Taking a breath I decided to tell her my opinion on the matter.


"I wouldn't mind going home I guess, but I don't know. I miss home, sure, who wouldn't miss their home. But family? Friends? I don't know about all that. Family, I'm a single child, and my parents almost couldn't wait 'till I hit eight-teen so I could become independent. They asked me politely of course, they were good parents and saved up some money for me to try and find my own place. I think they had plans for when I left, I'm not sure. Before I came here to Equestria, we hadn't talked for almost two years. I guess they were off doing whatever, no phone calls or anything."


"Friends? Most of the people I went to school with don't even come around anymore, we traded contact information and I never got any replies when I asked them to hang out. I don't feel bad though, I just kind of expected it. It's not that I hate my life there, but looking back on it I feel like there wasn't much of a life there for me anyway. To be honest the only thing I miss most of all is the music."


Perhaps I was just ranting to myself at this point, but I was already letting it all come out. I felt that I needed to just tell her all of it, maybe I just needed somepony to just confide in. "I like it here, in Pony-Ville. I like the way a lot of ponies have accepted me even though I'm a real alien to them. I also like how I'm making friends here, not just calling them friends, but really hanging out with each other friends." I suddenly had a desire to say something that would probably backfire on me, hell it already had but I probably could be more coy this time. "If I did go back home though, I'd want you to come with me, and I know I couldn't ask you that... so I'd rather stay here."


If it were physically possible I think my heart would have burst through my rib-cage and made a bee-line to the Everfree Forest to live as a hermit. Thankfully the magic of this world still let some natural laws be in place and not broken. Noticing my breathing was ragged I steadied myself and released a shaky breath. "However, it's a moot point. I don't have a way to get home, I don't even know if it's possible, no one knows how I came in to your world. So how could I possibly get back?" I chuckled nervously, the next question was going to make or break me. "W-Would you want me to go?"


"Wh-what do you mean Ziggy?" Fluttershy stared at me wide-eyed and shocked. I debated on showing the book, on letting her know of the evidence I had. My brain screamed at me not to get her involved, not to get her close.


I shook my head vigorusly and she took a timid step back. "I-I really like you Fluttershy, and I know you know this but I still like you. I also know you said you couldn't right now and I'm fine with that, I really am. I just wanted to know, if you think I should return home, is all."


Fluttershy looked thoughtful, as if her brain was just evaluating the question for the first time. "That isn't for me to answer." I sighed feeling rejected yet again.


"No, let me phrase it right, please. What I mean is, it isn't for me to answer if I think you should return home. That is something you would have to come to terms with on your own." She started to hide behind her mane again. "B-But I, I would very much like you to stay. If you like it here, than why leave? Right?" She trailed off above a whisper and I couldn't make it out. I strained to hear the rest but I just couldn't.


"I-I didn't catch that Fluttershy, I'm sorry."


"I-I said.. that well...", she closed her eyes forcing the words out, "I-I also don't want you to leave. I like you."


"Huh?!"


"Not like you as a special somepony, well not that much, I like you, as a friend. You're one of the first stallion friends I've made. I-I want to continue spending time with you. You-You didn't mind going to the butterfly migration when I asked. Some ponies just don't like nature as much as I do. You're the first, and I want to continue to do things with you. If you don't mind."


"Right, no I don't mind. I don't mind at all." Hot damn. She liked me, platonic like is good enough for me, I'll take what I can get damn you! "I'd love to hang out with you, anytime, anywhere, anything. Don't feel shy asking me, okay?" I could feel my blood pumping in my veins faster now, as if I had just been running for miles.


She giggled at my excitement. She giggled at my actions. Do you get what I'm saying here, she giggled and it was like hearing an enchantress lull me to paradise. Heck, I'd take doom too just to hear that melodious giggle again and again. "I have to take Mossy for a walk, and I need to get going. Thanks again Fluttershy, I'll drop him off tomorrow if Spike still doesn't feel better, is that okay?"


"Of course, I wouldn't mind watching him again. Bye Mossy, be a good boy now, okay?" Petting him with her hooves the pup just yipped happily for her and licked her hoof in admiration. I waved goodbye making my way toward a goal I had set before I had arrived, I knew exactly what to do with this book now. I was going to bury it in Everfree Forest, I wanted to stay here in Equestria. This was home now, and even if there was a history of my kind coming there was no history of them GOING.That meant that like them, I was stuck here; but like them I could learn to make a life here.

Into the Everfree

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Since I had come to Equestria I hadn't gotten to spend almost any time inside the Everfree Forest. I had come to it's border but never within it's confines. I wondered what lay within almost constantly. There were nights were my dreams would just show me an amazing maze of trees, paths possibly blazed by a brave pony, and a deep foggy mist that would just cover the grassy floor.


I had heard from my co-workers that a zebra decided to live here, and they said she was some kind of voodoo doctor, a few others said a type of shaman, but to me whatever she was didn't matter. I wasn't here to visit nor try to have her direct me around this place. I wanted this experience to be my own. I wanted to see these green woodlands without any navigation from anyone. Mossy was running ahead of me and thought I was playing chase with him. Why we decided to break into sprints right as we entered I had no idea, I started it and than Mossfoot just followed after me, than the game became chase, and so far the damned pup was winning. Remembering what I said to myself about two legs vs four legs earlier I decided if having four would let me run that fast, I'd consider the trade!


"Slow down Mossy, I swear you're going to make me lose you." Turning back to me Mossfoot just ran back and forth urging me on. Where the hell did this pup have so much energy from? Didn't Angel help him burn it off? As I came up to him, Mossfoot turned on his back and waited for a belly rub. Taking a knee to catch my breath I obliged the puppy for even giving me the break I needed right now.


After catching my breath I felt the need to speak aloud, the forest air had been quiet since we entered. "Now where are we going to bury this, huh boy? Should we just make a sort of, ex marks the spot, eh? Should we bury it in the ground, or by a tree. There's even the chance we can find a cavern and bury it there, where no one would think to look." I only had the idea of going in to Everfree to hide the book. Knowing that not many ponies liked the idea of a forest where they had no direct influence on the animals or weather didn't deter me at all. They grew up in having the ability to control such things, either with their magic or by counting on one another, at least that was my guess. Myself on the other hand, hell, I believe back home we were at the mercy of the elements.


Sure we adapted, very well I would think, for being at the mercy of storms and rain and sunshine even back on Earth. Sometimes we would almost manipulate the entire idea of nature to our will, but it always won over us. There was no argument there I'm sure, some people could and I'm sure they'd make excellent points. However I think that once face to face with volcano's, earthquakes, hail storms, and a place I like to call Tornado Alley the argument would just become ridiculous. In the end most people just endure, or choose not to populate near those area's.


We could only build stronger shelters to withstand it all in the end, and even than there was a chance it would fail. I suppose that is why the Everfree didn't make me feel unease at all. I almost welcomed the change, almost. I could feel a light breeze kick up, and I looked through the emerald green sea of leaves to make out a dark ominous sky that was becoming more gray by the minute. It was odd because before I exited Pony-Ville there wasn't a cloud in the sky, and I recall that I read the paper this morning, the weather report said no chance of shower, now I had to wonder if the rain would come down like a sheet.


I wondered if Mossy would want to spend time in the rain though, being a wolf made out of timber. The only thing I really had to worry about for him was camp-fires, wildfires, and being under a lens with the sun out. "Rested up now boy?" I was, though I knew he'd have more energy left in him. At least out here he could run free without a random pony acting fearful of a puppy that she or he had no idea was more docile than the creatures they had heard rumors about. Honestly, sometimes ponies just needed to see with their own eyes.


We started to get ready for another run when I heard a rustling from a nearby underbrush, pausing in our steps both me and Mossy looked to the questionable bush awaiting what was going to pop out. At first it was the head of a chicken and Mossfoot just began to wag his tail barking playfully at it, but than it began to rise higher and I knew something was up. "A cockatrice, great." I recall the warning Fluttershy gave me, but for the life of me could not figure out why I was to be afraid of this thing. It almost reminded me of Discord, a lizard like tail, and scaled wings, but the main body was that of a chicken. "How the hell is this thing supposed to be scary? I seriously wonder if these ponies are alright in the head, maybe the magic makes them loopy."


Suddenly it opened it's eyes at us and gave a very menacing glare, I noted that the eyes were much different of a regular chicken. However, I still could not understand why the ponies were afraid of such a creature. With haunting ruby like orbs for eyes I couldn't even see pupils within them and merely continued the staring contest it initiated. Suddenly it took a menacing charge at us and stopped only a few steps. I had heard Mossfoot jump back and than hide behind my leg beginning to bark at the nefarious chicken. Annoyed with his barking, it turned it's gaze toward him and I heard him yelp in surprise.


Turning to better see what was going on I could witness that half his body was slowly being turned to stone. Now I understood what was going on, an emotion resembling fear or uncertainty must be the reaction it needed for it's magic to work. Great, more magic. I was barely beginning to get away from it all when I now needed to understand more of it. But I needed to stop this, and now. Thinking quickly I cooked up a plan that would work, hopefully it would.


"Oy! You feather-brained midget." I quickly ran toward the cock-a-trice and knelt to stare into it's eyes with a hardened glare. "You stop that right the fuck now, or I will do something you will find most unpleasant and possibly painful." It tried to play hardball with me, again attempting to stare at me with a menacing gaze.


"You don't get it do you, feather-head. I'm not from Equestria in case you haven't already noticed. But here's a newsflash for you, one you might want to think about. On my world, I eat you. Understand?" That suddenly got it's attention, it began to cower away and I used my hands to creep slowly toward it. "Yea, I think you understand perfectly. See, your kind gets eaten. A lot. Fact is we compare other foods to how you taste like." I snapped my teeth twice to get my message across. "So if you don't turn my little friend there back to normal in the next three seconds: I. WILL. EAT. YOU."


A loud cry came from the once tough bird and it ran toward Mossfoot with it's wings outstretched, touched him with the tip of his tail, and flew away from us like a bat out of hell. All within three seconds, damn that little bird can move. I looked to Mossfoot who was whining on the floor as if he'd been punished. "C'mere buddy, come to daddy." Slowly he got on all fours and walked with his head down.


"Your still a pup, don't let it get to you. One day you'll show that chicken who the real chicken is." Mossy wagged his tail in response and licked my arm as I petted behind his ears. "Don't you worry boy, we're going to be coming here a lot more now. But first thing is first, we have to bury this, and now."