The Wild Card

by Tyrant

First day on the job

I always hated early mornings. The idea of getting out of bed was always the one thing I hated, as it meant I had to leave the comfort of warmth to face the cold-bitterness of the world. Don't get me started that this isn't even my world to begin with, but it was starting to become home. "Ugh, that's right I have a job now. Time to get up."

Pushing up from my floor-bed the daily morning routine of putting it up, washing up, and eating were already becoming less foreign with this not being my real house. I noticed that Twilight and Spike were still asleep and decided to practice stealth. As I finished getting dressed I had noticed they did not even stir, leaving a note I quietly left the temporary home to make my way to Fluttershy's.

It was a quiet morning, not many ponies seem to wake up this early and I started to worry that Fluttershy would still be sleeping. Worry began to set in that she may not even be a morning pony, but the thought of seeing her with bed-head was alluring so I decided to continue on my way. The morning rays of the sun were not even over the horizon allowing me to get my eyes adjusted faster without that blasted blinding light, crunch of small rocks and dirt beneath my feet seemed to give off a type of serenity.

The walk hadn't seemed that long and I almost felt disappointed when the familiar cottage came in to view. The strange thing was how quiet and secluded it felt out here. This place was on the edge of the Everfree forest, a forest almost every pony had told me to stay away from because of all the dangers it seemed to posses. A nagging feeling of exploration seemed to tug at my conscious, I wanted to go in there, dangers be damned, but I can't walk in with my bare fists. I wonder if it'd be a violation of my visa exploring the Everfree or owning a weapon. I'll write the Princess a letter about it all later.

Coming to a halt at the door I timidly knocked trying not to rudely awaken Fluttershy should she still be sleeping. I heard a muffled,"Just a minute", come through the door and decided to bend to one knee again. If it ain't broke, don't fix it, right? I waited for a few seconds before I saw the door slowly open and Fluttershy greeted me with a smile, but sadly no bed-head. Damn.

"Hey Fluttershy, I hope I'm not too early. I don't exactly have a watch so keeping track of time is a bit hard for me."

"You don't need to worry, I was actually waiting for you to arrive. Now are you sure you can handle this? I don't want to make you feel uneasy or overwhelmed." Her eyes seemed to still hold doubt, and as much as I understood why, I wanted to crush those emotions so she could relax while she was away.

"It will be fine. I can handle this, your animal friends will be waiting for when you get back, okay?"

"Okay, well thank you again. Oh! Before I forget, I left some bits for you on the table, think of it as an advancement. I have to be leaving now, I'm sorry. Please be careful with them."

She began making her way for the front door and I stepped aside, I took notice that she had on saddlebags but they were unlike Twilight's, they had an opening for the wings upon her back so she could travel. Must be the pegasus model, I wonder if I can get a backpack made for me. Fluttershy spread her wings and gave them a good few flaps before she begun her ascent. I watched her for a few more moments as her figure started to become smaller. How cool it must feel to be born with wings.

Right the job, time to get to work. Stepping inside I was not prepared for a dozen small animals to be staring at me intently, it felt like they were in coordination and had planned to knock me down and have me restrained until Fluttershy got back. Attack of the small woodland creatures, could be worse.. could be fruit.

Atop a small table that centered the room stood Angel munching on a carrot slowly, deliberately, staring at me with such intensity I swear that it was like he was trying to ignite me with some hypothetical heat vision he might have. "We meet again, Mr. Bunny."

That must have caught him off guard, his chewing briefly stopped just enough for me to notice. "So how will this end I wonder, will you be cooperative until Fluttershy gets back, or do we battle it out, here and now, until there is only one of us standing?" If you have never seen a bunny pull off an evil smirk I tell you, it's down-right creepy. "Bring it on litt---!?"

HOLY SHIT! Not only did that rabbit have the guts to follow through with my taunt, the little shit lunged at me from the table clearing the distance in one leap. Than used the half-eaten carrot stick like a blunt weapon, smacking me repeatedly with a fury directed at my face. It was a flaw though that he had not grabbed on to something for leverage and I instantly grabbed at his backside and flung him across the room. Breathing heavily I was more shocked at his action than hurt, but decided since this was the play-out I'd do what was expected of me. We would fight to the death!

...Or so I thought. You see even though I'd love to make that little cotton-tailed devil pay for his aggressive behavior, I would find a hard time explaining to Fluttershy why her... "Angel" was missing. So instead it became a duel, best two out of three. The first was my victory with us wielding carrot sticks as sabres and a odd fencing match. The next became a chess match to which I lost hopelessly, although that was probably because I always sucked at Queen's Gambit openings. You know I had no idea a bunny could be such a strategist. The final match, was a massacre. A no holds barred food fight. Many vegetables and fruits were lost that round, and it all ended with a tomato to the rambunctious rabbit. As he fell and lay there his little foot twitching I smiled in victory, until I heard one of the cardinals start whistling a very good performance of "Taps".

"Alright, that's enough." All eyes were upon me and I stared down at Angel grinning. "You lost, now come on. I got a lot of work to do and I would rather have your help than us at each others throats. Truce?" Extending my hand in a peaceful gesture I half-expected the rodent to smack it away. To my surprise he actually smiled warmly and shook my hand nodding in agreement. "Finally, now I gotta clean this all up. I need to ask though, Fluttershy mentioned a visit from a friend today. Do you have any idea who it might be?"

The nervous glance Angel sent me did not make me comfortable. He nodded and began to drastically emphasize the creature I was to be visited by but I couldn't place it. Something that would apparently be huge in size, sharp teeth, real nasty temper. "Oh great, I wish I had more experience with charades. I don't have a clue what you're saying Angel." The poor guy face-palmed.. wait, is it a face-palm if he's got paws? Face-pawed? ...Whatever, not important. The cleaning was just about done and I salvaged what I could from what food wasn't a total mess. Feeding most of the indoor animals was a bit easy, most were just birds, a cat, and a few small rodents. That left outside, so I did a quick check to see all indoor animals had been taken care of before making my way out the door.

A few seeds thrown on the ground lazily and that took care of the chickens, now I had to feed some of her other more interesting animals. For a moment I felt nostalgic as if I was back in a petting zoo back home, except now all these animals had me as their caretaker. Returning to my duties I continued to distribute the proper quantities of food as Fluttershy had instructed me to do so previously. Suddenly there was a tugging at my pant-leg, I stared at Angel half-expecting him to be causing mischief. However the look in his little eyes showed me he was panicking to get my attention, deciding I had beter see what was going on I followed him to behind the house and was met with a loud thunderous roar.

"Holy hell!" Instinctively I stepped back. Okay, fine, I fell on my ass and crab-walked backwards quickly. "Angel, what the hell is going on?" Angel having stared at the bear for a moment performed charades again, but they were the same motions he had shown me earlier. Wait a fuckin' minute! "You mean to tell me this is the friend Fluttershy was expecting today?" Angel placed a paw on his nose signaling I hit the nail on the head. Great, a bear.. a giant angry looking bear! "Uhm... What can I do for you sir?"

A loud roar again.

"Ma'am?"

Another roar! What the hell man!

"Well if you don't know, I'm not going to check your plumbing dammit!"

Another.. you know what, you can guess what it was. Only this time he/she sounded really angry at being insulted to like that. This was aggravating me really quick. "Look, what do you need? Fluttershy kind of forgot to mention what I needed to do for you, I'm acting in her stead. So.. what can I do for you?" The bear looked at me for a moment before standing on it's hind legs and began to roar as if trying to intimidate me. For some reason however I wasn't scared, but more angry that this animal should have understood what the hell I was trying to say. Standing up I cannot believe what I did next.

"SIT DOWN!!!" Pointing my index finger sternly toward the ground my voice carried into an echo through the trees of the Everfree forest. The bear actually fell on its butt and groaned a bit sadly. "That's better. Now, what seems to be the trouble?"

The bear laid on its belly and seemed to grunt to Angel for help, both looking at me hoping I would understand now, Angel began to imitate a masseuse. "OH! Well damn, why didn't you say so in the first place?" Both Angel and the bear face-palmed. What?! How the hell was I supposed to know the bear had a knot in his/her shoulder blade. As I approached the bear laying down I started using my elbow and made an attempt to relax the afflicted muscle. "So, Come here often?"

Comments

[Tyrant]

This particular chapter had me stumped on the interactions with Angel, but I liked how it came together. Next chapter should be up in like two days. I had half of it done but was trying to edit and work on the next chapter at the same time. Comments, Critics, and Cookies are appreciated. Oh, and likes/favorites are too. See ya' in two days.

[Awsomo 40]

Angel admitting defeat? Impossibru!
Good chapter, continue.

[lines n stuff]

hilarious. really liking this story