So she is clingy, emotional, impulsive, insecure, and that is all. Am i biased or is everything that doesn't conform treated as a disease?
Have society become so insane? And why is adherence to madness the baseline for a supposed "scientific field"?

11626738
I understand why you are frustrated with the medical industry and conformist nature of society. I don't like it anymore than you do. But science is real and psychiatry is a science and it should not be disregarded just because you dislike its findings.

And things like Borderline Personality Disorder are not personality traits. They are chemical imbalances which destroy lives and prevent people from being able to be happy. And people affected by them deserve our love and understanding. But that doesn't mean normalizing illnesses which lead to self harm.

and saving Equestria didn't mean anything because she didn't know this one little fact about you and anyway no pony knows you better than Twilight except maybe for Maud because she's the best and why is Twilight crying, isn't this difficult enough without her crying?

oh this is excellent Pinkie stream-of-consciousness. so easy to overdo it or underdo it but this is perfect

It's hard enough to be mad at Twilight when she isn't crying and you aren't really mad at her, you're just mad at the voices in her head which are making her act like this because you know that deep down she doesn't wish she could change all years you've spent together

do love this showcase of Pinkie being able to read ponies really well sometimes (perhaps balancing out the other times when she is unusually bad at it?)

and maybe if you make enough pastries and tell enough jokes and throw enough parties they won't realize that you are just a hollowed out place where something used to be and at least you still have Gummy, until he eventually decides he's tired of you too.

oof…

and maybe together the two of you can be whole someday.

and a beautiful thought to end on

expressing two very different internal voices in a way that lets the reader pick out what the events here would look like from the outside and having those perspectives stitch together into a beautiful depiction of a relationship between two broken mares is a very impressive feat, indeed. i really felt for these two, and absolutely loved this story. thank you so much for writing!

I do love the stark contrast between the two thought processes on display. My only complaint is that Pinkie’s chapter feels more like the summary of a larger, more emotionally fulfilling story. Yes, you needed to stay in the word limit and the entire point is the whitewater stream of consciousness to contrast Twilight’s checklist of reasons why she sucks, but it still ends of feeling like Cliffs Notes.

To be clear, I do like what you did here. It just feels more like a compressed version of the full story than one that stands on its own merits. Still, thank you for the entry and congrats on the honorable mention.

Hello! I read all the stories in this contest that won recognition, so here's a review. As I said there, I can't speak from personal experience regarding Pinkie's condition. Nevertheless, the unusual POV(s) worked for me, as did the crossings-out. I do think this could have been even better without the word limit, but frighteningly fascinating all the same. Liked!