gypsyfox
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The correct pluralization of "hero" is "heroes"; the word "hero's" is a possessive indicating something belonging to a hero.
11573952
Will fix, thanks
Never provoke fate
11573971
Exactly. And foxes are supposed to be smart too. The same should apply to kitsunes.
ohh baby I am ready for this, I wanna see were this goes! cheers man this was a great start I can't wait for the next chapter.
Found two errors;
"It a small bark of excitement I began pulling things out of the bag."
I believe this should have; "With a small bark"
And;
" I was large a bear."
I think our Protag is saying, he's as large as a bear? I believe so.
With that done, I want to say, this is a lot better in terms of premise and interest. I look forward to what you have in stock next.
You've given in your authors note a bit on the why the ponies aren't goodie two shoes, and that is fine. I don't mind them not being the good guys for once. But I want to hear your take on the why, and the how.
Now I'm wondering how Spike is being treated, or how the poor guy is viewed. Maybe something that can be used?
There is a lot of possibility here, and the only advice I have gotten for myself that I will share, is patience. Patience specifically with yourself. That's all I can say.
I feel like I’ve talked with you before, author. I was probably named “Newbie” at the time if that rings a bell. If I’m right, then glad to see this back, and the first chapter reminded me of our conversation. If not, then sorry for the bother.
11574239
Hi, thank you for your input. I fixed the first error but I think I might be blind as I can't find the second, I can't actually find where I mentioned a bear at all, can you tell me which paragraph it is.
11574386
Well, I can't find it either, but I swear it was there man.
11574559
Well, I'm sure someone will find it again.
Glad to see a rewrite however I am unsure how to feel bout the hermaphrodite thing, I remember your old one had him as just a male witch I liked. When you gender bend the MC or the like it always seems off to me. Don’t get me wrong imma still read it, just hope I don’t see that stated to often and if we do get chapters that has that as the main focus I hope I’ll be able to skip it over if not we’ll I can power through, I enjoyed the original story for I love a good kitsune MC in the MLP universe it always brings quite the tale.
Anyways, all my words here aren’t meant to offend or anything of the like so please I hope none of you take it as such and I do hope to see the next chapter relatively soon.
11574607
He/she was a hermaphrodite in the original too, it's not mentioned till the third chapter however and it's rather brief, the lack of detailed descriptions was part of the reason I decided a rewrite this in the first place, though at the moment the main character hasn't had a real need to change from he/him pronouns. Similarly, the subject of his name hasn't come up for the same reason. However, as time passes and he begins to experiment with his ability as a kitsune he might begin to change.
The original thinking behind the hermaphroditism was the fact that this character is somewhat of a self-insert in the light of the fact that he thinks a lot like how I do. With me being relatively gender neutral and Kitsune being natural shapeshifters I reasoned that his natural shifting would probably settle somewhere in between male and female hence him being dual-gendered.
Also, as a side note say what you will, I don't get offended easily, and as long as you're not being purposely insulting I'll generally take most comments with good humor.
This is going to be fun. *smiles like a kitsune, while snickering*
11574642
Ah, I don’t remember that in the original but who am I to argue with the author. Anyways point still stands, can’t wait to see the next chapter.
11574567
9th paragraph from the end.
Also, watch out. That could be I'jin
11575356
Thank you shiro.
Already like it a lot and welcome back. Hope to see more in the near or distant future.
Poison joke that will be interesting to see what happens to a herm Kitsune. Looking forward to what happens next.
11580076
Probably immune as one of the last lines was “familiar even”
Fluttershy will be like: FuCk nO wHy Can YOu gUY bE fRiEnd?
11580222
What do you mean by that?
11593977
Foxy eats meat.🦊🔪🐷🔥🍖😋
is he a girl or a boy
11595324
He is a hermaphrodite, it means he's currently both.
11594864
Four words: Harry the grizzly bear!
This first contact is better than most fanfics are already.
I hope we got to see less of the element bearers, those guys in season 1 are something else.
Or just killed them off, I don't expected the protaganist is going to forgive them easily with how much pain he felt. The direction this story is going, the protaganist looked like he's going to fit well with non-pony cast like gilda or ember.
Awww how sweet of the forest to help him.
Hey, the MC is in fantasy Whitsundays
Welp I'm interested
FINALLY! I love the fanfics where the ponies are actually the bad guys but are full of racist "We're the good guys" crap. Do you think he could go across the ocean and visit some of the other lands and help them regain their pre-pony might? Also does the unknown west exist in your story? And as a side note; Screw Equestria!
Wow his first encounter with the ponies didn't go so well. Sounds like he's going to have to make them see reason from a position of strength. That lightning would have taken him out if not for that armor I imagine. Looks like he's got his work cut out for himself if he's going to get them to see past their ignorant xenophobic ways.
This has been a wonderful story to read so far! Looking forward to the next chapter!
I don't want to stop reading but I have to because the chapter is over. . . Da*n you continuity, I want to read the whole thing now. >~<
Confusing... was that a dream sequence or everfree's magic?
11610482
He dosen't know, I glad it was confusing though, it was supposed to be.
Well he's definitely special if that many high power beings sensed him lol but why didn't celestia?
11611234
She did notice. She also ordered him hunted by the extermination guild. It is possible she didn’t put his sudden appearance in Ponyville and the burst of power together.
11614424
Ah ok sry I didn't realize
11595324
This one sentence answers your question whether you mean past or present, at least in the biological sense. As a human he was male. As a kitsune he's a hermaphrodite, as in both male and female.
Again, that's biological. If you're referring to gender identity, logically one would think he identifies as male given his initial relief that his family jewels had not been stolen. However, it becomes less certain when you consider that his memories associated with his identity have all been altered to be as though he's always been a hermaphroditic nine-tailed kitsune.
He tried to go back to the forest. Stupid ponies followed and harassed him all the way there. In particular, Sundial got exactly what was coming to her. What was he supposed to do? Smile and roll over to expose his chest for the nice pony to stick a sword into?
So, this is basically like any other Isekai novel, but the ponies took role of stupid fantasy human empire instead?
Update?
11636143
a classic trope that can be fun if used right
i look forward to the possiblity of more
Whatever software you are using for writing this is making a lot of autocorrect errors. Other than those you write pretty well, and definitely have me engaged with the story. I'm absolutely curious where this will go.
Odd. Never got notification of this update
... Well, time to read now
Or perhaps something worse. A musician
Are they a bonfire replacement
Here's hoping that the griffins, dragons and dogs, and most likely many others, get their Justice. Harmony and Friendship are not 'pony-only' things.
Love this story! Keep up the AWESOME work.