They'll never Hear You, if You Don't Speak

by ianv64

(SURPRISE) Epilogue- Promises

SURPRISE

After a couple years or so being with Fluttershy, I remembered a lot of my past. When I was alone, in school at Cloudsdale, and seeing my dad...Seeing my...dad...OH! I forgot my promise to him. I promised I'd give him something when I figure out my talent!

It was obvious that I would be giving him some literature. I'll give him a poem. It would mean more to me than a story. Stories are all I usually write. I write poetry once in a blue moon. Maybe less... Fluttershy was attending our foals...That's right, our foals. They were a year old now. Twins. One a colt, and one a little filly. They had bright blue coats, and soft pink manes like Fluttershy's. The colt was named Treble Cleff. The filly was named after my sister. Scarlet Rose.

After observing my family, I got to the poem for my dad.

I see you in stone, and ink

but your name, is all it speaks

the frame your bound to and paused

Only tells me a split second, not how it was caused

The dust gathers, and time passes

but love lasts, and pain crashes

the blood in me will still love on

Even though they say your gone

Physically, you're not there

But in my heart, I feel it tear

In pony heaven, whatever you do

Scarlet, is right next to you

Even though the past has been bad

I still wish I was there, to call you "Dad"

I cried a little after reading it back. Scarlet was buried right next to him. I'd have to write her something as well.

Sister, I wish you to see

The stallion that I've grown to be

Living life day by day

With no sadness in my way

I see the colors not just gray

The colors brighten every day

the family name will continue

And every day, I'll miss you

I hope you're with dad, having fun

Now there's two, not just one

Remember me, for I have a gift

I'm living the life you wanted me to live

You've given me hope, no matter where it goes

Because you always were the perfect rose

I was proud of this one too. I put them in separate bottles, and actually addressed them with t tag and such. I gave Scarlet a rose in hers. I also put a picture of me as a kid in Dad's.

I took my foals, and Fluttershy to their graves. I told them that my dad was their grandpa, and that Scarlet is their aunt. I put the bottles right beside the graves. I told them about Scarlet, and I couldn't really describe Dad, other than what my mom told me. that he was caring, and loving.

As life progresses, keep old promises. They could mean something to you later, no matter how simple they are.

I'm gonna miss Scarlet, but if it weren't for her, my life wouldn't be anything like this at all...

I even went to Cloudsdale to visit mom. She was getting old. No too old, but old enough to notice. I told my foals that we'd be meeting Grandma. I knocked on the door, and when she opened it, she burst into tears with the biggest hug possible. We were invited in, and I told her about my life after I left, and introduced her to my foals, and acquainted her with Fluttershy a bit more, seeing as she didn't know her all too well. It was an emotional day, however, it made me feel like all the crap I went through was all worth it. I would have never achieved anything if everything didn't happen the way it did. As painful as it was, I'm glad it worked out.......

Comments

[Mossy Mare]

Doggerel. Joy.

[Silentpegasus]

Such a good ending.

[gordobraveheart]

Man those two poems hit me HARD. This is a great story man, don't stop writing. And now, have my staches and my applause * CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

[SembrBrony217]

Ah Now THIS is what I was waiting for. This should have been the end to the story. well, it kind of is, but you get the idea.
Amazing story. Can't wait to see what stories you come up with next!

[Joy Stick]

Sequel. Nao.

[ianv64]

1433855 do you REALLY want a sequal? I could TRY to write one I guess

[Joy Stick]

1433940
Take your time. This was a really good story. It needs a sequel. Though I'm not sure how you would go about it...

[Mossy Mare]

1447731
I am accustomed to successfully choosing stories of high caliber, that, if lacking in certain mechanics at the outset, improve over time and have a sound basis in a compelling plotline. Of the works on my favorites list, a good number of them were chosen based on searches or just picked off of the top of the new stories list, and later went on to make the feature box. I have gotten pretty good at picking out the stories that I would enjoy reading, and my high standards mean that often others enjoy them as well.
Which is why it is such a disappointment to me that a story that I picked, based on an idea I really liked, fell so far short of my expectations. Half of it I couldn't physically read it was so poorly written; the choppy sentence structures, the tense confusion, and the poor grammar made my eyes glaze over in defense. If the author could find a decent editor, this could be an amazing story worthy of the feature box, as the idea is sound and interesting enough to merit honest discussion, as seen here in the comment section. It is only the execution that is lacking, and a good editor could set that to rights with a bit of work. It just nags me that he hasn't taken the time to do so.

As to your reading preferences, your comment makes it abundantly clear that grammar (or lack thereof) has no effect on you. I am glad that you are able to enjoy this story as-is for its excellent plotline, but I do not posess your immunity, nor do I plan on acquiring it in the near future.