(What is Caramel's problem?)

No comment. Guess I might as well make a joke.

One does not simply sneak into Tartar- DAMN IT, IRON!

I knew it was tirek as soon as I laid eyes on the cover image.

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Discord.png

Image: http://th01.deviantart.net/fs70/200H/f/2011/297/4/8/hipster_scootaloo_by_veggie55-d4du84w.png

Totally read it already.

Still buckin' awesome, though.

Also, I get the feeling I know what the soundtrack for this story is gonna consist of:

>>13338031333803

Goddammit, dude. I have on job around here, and you just up and take it away from me.

However, I approve of your post.

I feel like I'd be getting more out of this if I could stand to watch the old G1 cartoons and find out who Tirek, No-Heart and the others are.  (Though I think the two-headed monkey dude is Demogorgon, and if he showed up in My Little Pony, I may have to reconsider my stance.)

Nevertheless, intriguing stuff, and I wish to see more.

>>13342201334220

Tirek should be mostly bearable, at least. Rescue at Midnight Castle is just the regular 80s kind of bad, not G3 bad.

oh I liked it better when i hadn't read the synopsis, it was more fun to not know what was going on!@

>>13345551334555

I was wondering about that.  Considering making it more opaque.

>>13342201334220

Don't worry. It's a Grant Morrison-style reboot of the character. Everything necessary will be present in the story.

Also, Tirek is the ONLY bad guy in the prison from MLP. Everyone else is from a DIFFERENT 80's cartoon. I may actually have a contest to identify them all.

>>13343621334362

True.  But you still get "Shoo-Be-Doo" in your head.

>>13340261334026

You have plenty to do. I expect this to be a very metal story.

80's villains.

No holds barred.

Dis gon b gud.

The little throwaway lines like, "Hmm. Misnamed." and "it will be neither chocolate nor water that flows through its streets.” make this a great read already.

>>13347751334775

O I think that would be wise, the last thing you want is to have the whole first chapter condensed into a three sentence summary.

Try "A routine inspection of the Tartaurus Prison system introduces Twilight to a former acquaintance of a friend and reintorduces her to an old family foe." and then go on from there or something along those lines, I am really bad at these things as mine is particularly clinical and boring. too vague and generic, but I think you can make better with it.

>>13348711334871

This is true. I want to make sure that the prospective reading who'd like it gets enough clues, though. It's a weird balance.

>>13348651334865

"I was hoping "Misnamed." wouldn't fly over people's heads.  As a writer, you never know if your jokes are clear.

Fantastic, I can't wait to see how this plays out!  

>>13349221334922

I know what you mean, and I know you know how to do it better than I. Good luck.

Mmm, I'm liking this already.

That misnamed line is amazing.

I read all the villain's lines in their voices.

>>13343621334362

Okay.  I was ready to say that Tirek, despite being a little goofy-looking, was actually pretty damned badass and terrifying.  I mean, carrying around a beating heart?  Turning ponies into dragon-monsters?  Threatening to murder and decapitate children?  Holy crap.

And then I saw the sea ponies, and witnessed the true face of horror.

"Shoo-Be-Doo" must be the last thing sinners hear before being dropped into Hell.

Well, I recognized Venger, Tiamat, and Lolth from Dungeons & Dragons. No-Heart sounds familiar, too.

I like Iron Will particularly. He comes home and the traditional greeting is a punch to the head? Reminds me of my family.

>>13350291335029>>13352141335214

Thanks!  I'm hoping to give you readers another jaw-dropper next chapter.  Ch 2 and 3 will be FUN to write.

>>13353111335311

Your cartoon-fu is strong.  I actually changed my initial description of No-Hearts voice after checking out YouTube clips.

>>13353581335358

Yeah, I suffered a surprise when I put my Pony mp3  directory on shuffle and hit a nice synthpop song.  Then I ralized it was Eurobeat Bronies' "Call Upon the Sea Ponies."  STUCK IN HEEEEEEEEAD.

>>13347751334775

Y'know, I'm inclined to agree with you. Thought in all honestly, if you managed to make Hell not-metal, I'd be amazed.

Breaking Into Heaven - Heaven and Hell

>>13357961335796

I got to see them before Ronnie died.  It was great to watch them bring Dehumanizer back to life.

>>13340261334026

No worries, I just had to get that one in there.

I plan to spend the next 10 chapters looking for headbanging gif emotes.

>>13369641336964

There's a great one of Luna somewhere from the Canterlot wedding.

Here's an interesting picture done by someone named K. Sunshine:

Image: http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120811204459/bronies/images/6/69/Tirek2.png

>>13402071340207

Yeah, I like that one.  That was one of the samples I gave to my artist as a reference.  There's a LOT of good Tirek art out there.

>>13360641336064

I don't think you quite understand how insanely jealous you made me with that one statement. At least I got to see most of the original band at Lollapalooza.

So far, my track record is

1) Fear Factory- Faith No More (Terrible position from stage)

2) Iron Maiden (Blaze Bailey)

3) Gwar (Thrown out by bouncer after guy punched me in face)

4) Hammerfall- Dio in Atlanta, then drove back down the next day to South Florida for Blind Guardian.

5) Iron Maiden (Somewhere Back in Time Tour)

6) Queensryche - Alice Cooper- Heaven and Hell

7) Blind Guardian

(And a bunch of They Might Be Giants, Weird Al, and Jonathan Coulton)

So, he's "object 23" huh?

Hail Eris.

>>13417221341722

It's like Joel Robinson said: "We never a' Who's gonna get this?'  We always say, 'the right people will get this.'"

>>13484491348449

In a good way, right?

This is... brilliant. Is there perhaps a giant purple robot locked up somewhere, his cannon removed and the voices in his heads finally silenced? :D

If you hold a contest for their names, I'd lose. Badly.

As for G1... wasn't that bad, after a viewing a few months ago.

>>13509651350965

I really, Really, REALLY wanted to have a Transformer cameo.  I was shy of including anything humanoid.  Then again, you've just given me an idea....

During the part at the beginning when Iron Will's mom is explaining the inevitable destruction of Tartaurus, did anyone else think of this?

>>13571501357150

That was actually the exact thing I was thinking of!

Baron Silas Greenback! (or as I was watching it "Baron Ekel von Etzmolch").

Now all we need is a meeting of Count Duckula and Pinkie Pie and BOOM: instant universal meltdown.

Tirek with Discord's powers? This will be a tough one.

Oh, crud. So far, they've chained up the antagonist on Care Bears, Teddy Ruxpln's arch-enemy and possibly others. Heh. I halfway expected to see Mumm-Ra hanging around.

Wow, Twilight and co. are really under pressure now, while Tirek watches some good friends scream "let me out!"

This one has the makings of a real winner!

Ahhh, I've been setting up my own fanfic continuity to have something very similar to this happen. Mine actually involves the Greco-Roman gods of chaos and darkness, though, but was definitely planning on a confrontation between the two. Ooh, and does Tirek have a crush on Nightmare Moon? I have this feeling he does

Oh yeah, I'm liking this!

I didn't get all the references, but they were certainly amusing.

Can't wait to read more.

By looking at the image cover, I'm getting a bit of deja vu with Freddy vs. Jason

“Would that be fear in your eyes, No-Heart? I recognize that flavor. It’s the terror of knowing what this world is about."

Watching some good friend scream, "LET ME OUT!"

>>13859571385957>>13866191386619

Hey, I'm the guy who wrote School Daze; I can't get the musical reference bug out of my system.   I toyed with the idea of making every chapter a Dio song for a while.

>>13863691386369

The artist is a HUGE Freddy fan.  She has the Freddy rap album hanging in plastic on her wall next to her Vlad the Impaler dish.

>>13861561386156

Glad to hear.  I also hope to make references that can be missed without loss of enjoyment of the story on a whole.

>>13860851386085

Crush? Stay tuned for Chapter Two.

>>13858881385888

Ugh, I REALLY debated having Mumm-Ra in a cell.  More cameos in chapter two!

>>13809841380984

I grew up watching Danger Mouse everyday. I love that show.

>>13868171386817

Danger Mouse and Count Duckula were my first contact with British humor at the tender age of ... nine or ten, I guess.

Quite the culture shock back then. The narrator is best pony.

>>13868171386817

Just as long as no one uses the phrases "bumbling boobs" or "meddling kids."

>>13347751334775

Alright, I recognized Quellor from Teddy Ruxpin, No-Heart from Care Bears, and Venger from Dungeons and Dragons...

>>13342201334220

If you don't want to watch the full episode here's one that basically says what happens in one minute.

I really like this backstory for Tartaurus and where Iron Will came from. Instant headcanon unless we are ever told differently.

“Wait a second.  Did that guy pay the gate toll?”

Six people are clearly biased against G1.

>>13571501357150  Dude, I love that movie.  It may be from the olden campy days of the 80's, it was literally the oldest of the old CGI, but there was a special spark to it, a charm that most of today's scifi is sorely lacking.  So much has been sacrificed in movies to pander to flashy effects over strong writing (I'm looking at YOU "Transformers" series!)  

I shall follow this.  Tirek was the first total badass villain of television animation.  See it went down like this...

Tirek, ironing his underwear, "Hmm... kinda bored today... I think I'd take some happy little ponies and turn them into giant flying monsters to pull my chariot of darkness."

Scorpan enters wearing a "Kiss the Cook" apron, mixing a bowl of evil DARK chocolate brownie mix, "Hey!  Why not cover the whole world in darkness while yer at it!"

Tirek gasps, "I totally was just thinking that!"

Tirek and Scorpan, "Wave-leeeeeength!"

Spike waddles in, "Yay team!"

Tirek and Scorpan, "Shut the hell up, Spike."  The punt Spike across the room, because they're evil and like kicking babies.

>>13874131387413  Quellor!  Woot!  Say, are you as pissed as I am that Teddy Ruxpin never finished?  Seriously, EVERYONE I've met who was a kid back then and watched that show is STILL pissed that it just ended on that massive cliffhanger!  WE... NEED... CLOSURE... GODDAMMIIIIIIIIIIIT!!  

Paleo, dude, we need a wiki or trope page or something just to track the music references in your stories. Like, for reals.

>>13901521390152

>>13902181390218

I'd feel weird starting it, but if someone starts it I'll help.

>>13901771390177

I loved that world. Always wanted a Grubby figure!  That's why in the last two chapters of the Three Whooves I start throwing a BUNCH of Teddy Ruxspin lore in.

>>13874131387413

Wait until chapter two.  Aside from the meeting of Tirek and Celestia, I get to squeeze a few cameos in.  There's one very modern one, but I couldn't resist throwing in the character.

>>13919821391982

I was never into Teddy Ruxpin myself, but I thought what you did with the property was brilliant.

"Because I am real!"

>>13920141392014

That scene and the one that led up to it were actually the first I even wrote of the Whooves.  I thought about what Dinky would be like being raised by the Doctor, and those scenes flowed out.

>>13919821391982  Let us take over the company that currently owns it and use our dark powers to FINISH THE CARTOON ON OUR OWN!!!  MUWAH HA HA HA!!!  

We shall need... $1 million dollars!  

Ok, massive points for Lloth, Tiamat, Orcus, Demogorgan, and Venger. Got the Dungeons & Dragons covered. That got me to lol. Like one poster mentioned above, I almost expected to see Mumm-Ra in there somewhere, alongside Serpentor and Skeletor (somehow).

>>13926381392638

Excellent eye!  I thought that, given the popularity of 80's D&D, Orcus & Tiamat were fair as a reference.

So, the rest of the unidentified Chapter 1 villains at present are:

"DO NOT OPEN. MONSTROMURK."

" A nearby cell held a red two-headed creature that look like a collection of random parts.  He constantly reassembled himself as one head argued with the other. "

"With the main force occupied with the Monstromurk, Tirek saw no guards as he walked past tanks of animated sea-weed. "

"Inside a cell where “Tunnel Snakes” had been graffitied everywhere a leather-jacket-clad purple snake gave him an appraising look."

>>13926901392690

Well, I play D&D a lot, so I recognized all of those individuals as I read their descriptions, and I did get to see some of the old 80's D&D cartoon, so I knew Venger was a part of that. Nice reference to the Blood War, too, with Demogorgon.

One more reference:

"He walked with purpose into the cursed item storage area, past a large labeled staircase that read “Danger: Metlar Suppression Area.”

I don't get the "Misnamed" line. Or... a lot of these references, for that matter. Maybe it's because I grew up in the 90's, and not the 80's...

Heck, most of my knowledge of G1 MLP (or, for that matter, any prior generation) comes from TV Tropes and CR's My Little Pony Retrospective.

For that matter, didn't the Rainbow of Light basically make Tirac (I'm pretty sure THAT'S the correct spelling) explode? How is he in Tartarus?

Regardless, this is a very good story so far. As for the end of the chapter... To quote a different Spike:

"Oh, SHIT, what are we going to do now?"

I'm a little confused as to the other minotaur's treatment of Iron Will. Do they see him as a disgrace, or just a joke?

>>13952281395228 He pulled something out of No-Heart's chest and said he was misnamed. As. To the rainbow, I'm viewing this as a reimAging, Ultimate G1 if you will. I want to make sure nothing needs to be known by new readers without G1 knowledge. Oh, and Iron Will is treated as an Eccentric.

Oh, gods, my childhood. You had me laughing like a madman at the cards scene. "Misnamed" was perfectly executed, too.

Really liking the set up. As well as your use of Iron Will.

“I now possess the power you squandered, Discord.  I bring the storm that shall flood Equestria, and it will be neither chocolate nor water that flows through its streets.”

Okay, that was seriously badass. Very much looking forward to reading more of this

...

oh

>>14254661425466

Ah, come on! Is that a good "oh" or a bad "oh"?

>>14255401425540 Given how this chapter ended... I'm guessing a bad no.

Fluttershy is Firefly's descendant ! That is one hell of a surprise, but a good surprise. Many writers have made Raindow a descendant of Firefly.

Tirek bows before Luna as his Queen Nightmare Moon! This won't end well for Luna, either way she chooses.

>>14258521425852

Yeah, I wanted to throw things for a loop.  RD is too obvious.

The Tirek/Luna relationship cemeneted the desire to write the story in my head.  Can't wait to play it out.

And I THINK a later cameo will make you VERY happy....

Oh my, this is quickly escalating out of control ... and I love it! Tirek is such a classic villain in all of this, and I like his style. I hate him as a character, and what he does next. Great action and great dialogue. This is shaping up to be an epic adventure that I have no idea how it is going to end. I look forward to the next chapter of this awesome story.

>>14255401425540

its more like

"oh. now i have to wait for the next chapter i cantwaitcomeoNHURRYUP"

>>14260741426074

I just wrote a Luna/Tirek scene five minutes ago. Hope it'll be worth the wait.

oh god this is too awesome i cant even

Tsk tsk tsk. Tirek is showing a palpable lack of imagination here.

Hurloon Academy

>>14263291426329

I suppose he is following particular patterns.  He's not Discord, after all.   Is that what you meant?

>>14261401426140

I was REALLY worried about this chapter, especially the Tirek/Celestia showdown. I REALLY hoped it would work.

>>14264501426450

Something like that. Or, I'm guessing 'Discord's power' here is just generic 'power' or something, it's not 'chaos magic'.

>>14264831426483

I think of it like the difference in Green Lanterns. Give a "wishing ring" to one guy and you get robotic velociraptors.  Give it to another guy and you get boxing gloves.

Believe me, I haven't lost sight of the fact that Discord altered day and night at will.

>>14258851425885

You have peaked my interests with what you planned for Tirek and Luna. I shall await for this cameo you speak of.

>>14265371426537

It may take two chapters, but it'll totally be worth it.

I am most assuredly liking what I am seeing.

I did notice that Twilight seems to be a bit eager to cause harm. Justifiable considering some of her easier to miss actions in the show. Why do I get the feeling that when she and Tirek finally meet, it's going to be less of a "Talk" situation, and more of a "Twilight sparkle used Dynamic Entry" situation?

“No!”  The shadow loomed closer until it filled the cell.  A now gigantic face sneered out from the blackness. “You will not deny the shape-shifting master of darkness!  I will unleash unspeakable evil upon you for this rebuff!”

Image: http://i.imgur.com/xrA8H.jpg

So... Blueblood potentially getting a shot at character development and redemption (if he takes after the original Scorpan), Rarity going into berserker mode, and a divine throwdown in the middle of the Canterlot throne room.  You're not secretly reading Prince of Ponyville, are you?  

(I mean, I'd be totally psyched if you were, but I suspect that us geeky, brony educators/education majors may just be running on similar wavelengths.)

Anyway, now that I've made things thoroughly awkward by plugging my own story: this continues to be really frickin' cool, I'm really looking forward to more Twi/Will/Discord stuff, I was genuinely happy to see Rarity get to be awesome, Tirek's a scary mofo, and I'm seriously happy to see Blue get Scorpan'd.  I ended up liking Scorpan a lot when I watched the G1 pilot, and I'm looking forward to seeing what happens to everyone's least favorite member of the inexplicable royalty now

Rainbows weren’t meant to bleed.

I swear to god there is a Ronnie James Dio reference in there somewhere, I just can't place it.

Breaking Into Heaven - Heaven and Hell

So...many... best things!

Aku!

Discord hamming it up!

DAT BISON QUOTE!

Epic Tirek/Celestia fight!

Dat cliffhanger!

I love this fic.

Advice to writers

Act 1: Put your characters up a tree.

Act 2: Set the tree on fire.

Yeah...  This is gonna be one hell of an inferno soon.

>>14258851425885

Oh, Oh, is it Optimus Prime? Primus? Unicron?

Discord beheld Luna, as she was BANISHED to the MOON!  LIKE LIGHTNING!

God, I shouldn't comment when I don't get enough sleep.  

“I sense something,” Tirek said as he reached out with mental feelers.  “A presence I’ve not felt in... ”

Nice Star Wars reference.

Also... was the green shadow thing Aku?

And... Dang. I was going to imply that Tirac (I prefer that spelling) corrupted Luna in one of my own fanfics (not the one I'm currently writing), but now someone's beaten me to it.

Something I don't get is that it implies that Celestia was present when the G1 ponies faced Lavan, as well as several other events of the original series. And it also refers to Chrysalis as the Faery Queen. Maybe that's just my lack of knowledge of G1 stuff. Heck, I had thought that Lavan was killed by the Rainbow of Light until someone corrected me.

Out of curiosity, did Spike fall asleep in front of Zorak's cell, or is there some other bipedal mantis thing out there?

>>14289341428934

I look on the G1 stuff as things I can mix around. I like the idea of there being some kind of great battle to finally tame Dream Valley, and that a lot of the war became the "fairy tale" caftoon style stories. I'll play with continuity because I want to honor the feel of the old baddies while making an accesable story for new fans.

Not only is the green-faced shadow Aku, he mentions jasmine tea as a tribute to the voice actor's other great role.

As to Chrysalis, I admit I picked up from Gaiman a love of giving titles.

>>14291901429190

Ding! Good catch.

This is so much fun. "Nag-smack" is my new favorite pony idiom.

>>13901711390171 Comments like that are why Fimfiction needs a thumbs-up system for comments as well.

Seriously, what is it with sites and their lack of comment thumbs-ups? I mean, this site doesn't have them, and neither does Deviantart...

I'm surprised no one's mentioned the Army of Darkness quote yet. Guess I will then.

Nice Army of Darkness reference.

Instant favorite. You've got a real knack for real nail-biting excitement and suspense. I can only wait to see where it goes next!

“Do you... think any less of her... now that her blood is smeared across her throne room?”

The paralyzed soldier gritted his teeth.  Tears he was unable to wipe away ran down his face.

“She bleeds for me.  She bleeds for us all, monster.  We would do the same for her.”

So... are guards going to develop the Black Rage after witnessing the injuries inflicted upon Primarch Sanguinius Celestia by Ka'Bandha Tirek?

Image: http://content.screencast.com/users/Frosty35/folders/Default/media/3838b74a-32d1-411e-b40a-f6a9e32b5f72/blood_angels.jpg

Great, now the only question is, HOW DO I SURVIVE UNTIL THE NEXT CHAPTER