Chapter 3: The Crimson King
Chaos and Darkness
By Paleo Prints
Chapter 3: The Crimson King
Discord was hungry, and this nauseated him.
From a purely intellectual level, Discord understood the concept of food. He realized there were things that ponies needed to put inside themselves every-so-often. If not, they tend to fall over and stop being entertaining no matter how much you shake them. They seemed to get up again after you gave them something designated as “food.” He had always assumed the inside of a pony resembled something like a stove, and had never been curious enough to waste his omnipotence checking. After all, he’d have to break a pony to do it, and broken ponies don’t scream.
After a day of travel outside Tartarus, his insides had started to hurt.
“Something’s wrong inside of me,” he told Iron Will. “There’s bubbles and things. Do something about it. It’s . . . inconvenient.”
Iron nodded as he continued walking through the forest. A full minute passed. Discord immediately felt a shiver of impatience. This was affecting him, and that made it the group’s top priority.
“I don’t think you understand,” Discord said as he grabbed Iron Will’s shoulder. “This ‘being mortal’ thing is causing me pain!”
Iron Will regarded Discord silently. He nodded.
“Good. That means it's working.”
Discord snorted. “Twilight! Iron Will’s being mean to me!”
Twilight Sparkle looked up from the old minotaur map she was pouring over. She briefly glanced at the two near-identical overgrown forest paths in front of her and sighed. “All right, boys,” she said, resigning herself to another stop. “What is it now?”
Discord huffed as he walked up the hill toward Twilight. “I’m in pain, and he doesn’t care,” he said as he threw an accusing claw at Iron Will.
Twilight paused, looking at Iron Will. “Is this true?”
Iron leaned against a tree and looked up, holding his chin in hand. After a second of contemplation, he nodded. “Yup,” he said with a smile.
Twilight returned the grin. “Okay, since everything’s going according to schedule, let’s move on. This lead better pan out, Discord.” All levity disappeared as she said, “I’d have much rather headed straight to Ponyville.”
“Oh, it’ll work. Believe me, Tirek’s brain is like a rolling boulder. You can predict the path, and it leads straight to Canterlot through your little town.”
Twilight blinked. She approached Discord, her hooves making clouds of dust as they slammed into the ground. “I thought that you said there’d be no reason to go to Ponyville?”
He nodded. “Of course not. He’s undoubtedly already neutralized your little Elemental Harmony Squad. I’m betting on him imprisoning the angry little blue one. What was her name, Firefly?” He giggled as Twilight felt the ground drop out from under her hooves. “We’re going to the only thing he wouldn’t think of.”
Twilight’s wet eyes whipped away from Discord as she turned back onto the trail. Iron Will quickened his pace to walk to place a tentative hand on quivering shoulders.
Discord snorted. “All right, we’ve reassured ourselves that listening to me is the best plan. Now, can someone please assist me,” he said as he clutched his stomach. “I . . . I think I need something in me.”
His reluctant companions did nothing, sharing a look as they were suddenly paralyzed by imagination. Taking out the map, the pair mutually decided to find it more riveting than Discord.
Discord deflated as he saw them continue into the dark forest. He threw back his head and screamed to the wind.
“Will nopony think about what’s really important here?”
As Iron Will looked in his direction, Discord suddenly knew what it meant to be a tree: stuck in one spot and terrified of axes. He stayed rooted to the spot as the axe moved closer; possibly there was a minotaur connected, but some details were trivial.
The axe stopped in front of him as a voice spoke to him in a cheerfulness usually reserved for spiders asking a trapped fly about the weather.
“All right you sad pile of whining and whinging, do you think there’s something wrong with your insides?”
Discord swallowed and nodded.
Something attached to the axe snorted. The knuckles around it turned light gray. “Well, if you keep whining about it, I’m going to take a close look.”
As the axe turned back to the trail, Discord kept a respectful distance from it.
___
The shattered side of Canterlot Castle offered a view onto the red-stained grounds of the garden. From his paralyzed position inside his conjured clear block, one of the guardponies had a full view of the imminent battle. With the injured Celestia joined by Princess Luna the beast had apparently surrendered, dropping onto its knees in supplication. Despite all this, the guard wished her could explain the internal chill he felt that had nothing to his glassy prison.
Had he been outside his trepidation would only have been worse. Hearing Tirek’s voice would have been one thing. Seeing the stunned shock in Princess Luna’s eyes would have been another entirely.
“What . . . What did thou darest call us?”
Tirek opened his eyes but kept them respectfully downcast. As he did so, Luna searched his countenance for any hint of the sarcasm that so many would-be conquerors had leveled at her over the millennia. It’s absence was more terrifying than raw power.
“Nightmare Moon,” said Tirek. “I pay homage to the beautiful creature who fully embraced her own glory, and humbly beg your indulgence to remain in your presence.”
Celestia threw a wing over her sister and pulled herself into a standing position. She grit her teeth as she whispered into Luna’s ear.
“Don’t listen to him. Strike.”
Luna felt the world fall out from underneath her as she turned to Celestia. Tirek noticed how she turned her attention off of him in the heat of combat. He resolved to speak to Luna about this weakness to her after the fight.
“Sister!” Luna breathlessly spoke to Celestia. “Sure you have not forgotten the second chance you offered to me, to Grogar, and even to Discord? Where has your famed mercy gone?”
Celestia coughed. “Spread across the throne room floor.”
Tirek raised his eyes to Luna. “If I may speak?”
“No!” Powerful hooves beat an irregular rhythm as Celestia pulled herself between Luna and Tirek. “You may not! My sister has heard enough of your lies and flattery to last an eon!”
“That is for her to decide.” Tirek’s eyes flared like angry comets. “That is, unless you now command her as well as pass judgement, tyrant.”
Luna placed a restraining feather touch on Celestia’s mane. “Sister, he is prone. I have never known you to strike a yielding foe. In your condition, perhaps we should indeed parley.” Luna leaned closer to Celestia’s ear. “Do not think for a moment I have forgotten who caused that condition. My restraint does not shield my eyes.”
In Celestia’s life, she had committed three actions that she regretted above all others. The first was an inappropriate comment let slip at a diplomatic dinner during her formative years. Instead of a soothing word creating understanding, her words lead to decades of internecine war between dragon clans. In her second moment she said nothing, only stepping away in moonlight from a misshapen creature she still wonders if she could have helped. The highest of all was the path that lead to a millenia of lonely self-doubt and second guessing.
Looking into Luna’s eyes and seeing her loss again raise its head, Celestia committed her fourth.
“No, Luna.”
Celestia lowered her horn towards Tirek. “This creature is not to be trusted, nor his words entertained. Judge me as you will, but-”
And then she was gone.
----
Throughout the history of Equestria, legends spoke of the romances between flesh and the divine. Many a tale spoke of a love that lit the world between beings of vastly different natures. In the climax of such tales, the immortal often forsakes their divine power, accepting the burden of mortality to be with their beloved.
Discord never realized how stupid that was until now.
Take itching, for instance. What rational being could bear the weight of an existence that promised a discomfort like itching? Also, whose bright idea was it to wire bodies with an automatic reaction that just made things worse?
Discord’s misery was only manageable by focusing on all the better ways mortals could be built. He almost felt like doing something about it; perhaps a stern letter could be written. He reflected on the futility of legs that became tired as he pulled himself panting onto a promontory of rock.
“Really, I have no idea how you both manage to live like this.” He pushed onto an elbow to give Twilight and Iron the most pitiful look he could think of. “I mean, to think of the monotony of placing one foot in front of the other!” His eyes focused on unseen possibilities. “Has anyone considered using the left one more, for variety?”
Iron Will considered this statement and filed it with Discord’s eighty-seven previous suggestions on mortality. This was a part of his brain that neurologically resembled a flaming trash bin. Still, this one actually had a good point buried inside.
“Twilight, are you holding up all right?” Iron scooted closer to her along the ground. “If you need to rest, I can dragon-horsey-thing-sit for a while.”
Twilight pulled a hoofkerchief out of her saddlebags and wiped her brow without taking her attention off of the map. She gave Iron Will an appraising eye. “That’s very considerate of you, Mister Will. I’m not sure I’d be as composed if all of Ponyville were asleep.”
Discord dragged himself into the conversation. “Which may very well be.”
Iron Will cast a baleful eye at Discord, who shrugged. “Just trying to be helpful.”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “That’s a new experience.” She sighed.
Iron Will nodded. Standing up he picked up the protesting Discord by the scruff of the neck and deposited him behind a large rock. Returning to his seat he flashed Twilight a grin. “I’m just keeping your morale in mind. We’re counting on you to stay your sharp self.”
Twilight smiled. “That’s very . . . Wait.” She squinted at Iron Will. “You’re doing that thing, aren’t you,” she said with an accusing hoof. “That motivational thing. You’re trying to support my sagging spirits with sensitive sympathy!”
Iron Will shrugged. “Hey, you have to play to your strengths. It’s either that, or discuss economic theory.”
“You certainly can’t rely on your axe skills,” Twilight replied with a giggle.
Iron Will’s stony countenance reflected his offended national pride. “What’s wrong with my axe technique?”
Twilight snickered. She placed the map to her side while pulling herself closer to the offended minotaur to critique his axe-skills. Her brain’s self-preservation area realized that this was equivalent to offering helpful suggestions about a dragon’s decorative money arrangement capabilities, but it was too curious to say anything.
“Okay, let’s try using physics.” Twilight smiled, levitating a nearby stick to point at the haft of the axe. “If you actually swung that with your hands there, you’d probably end up throwing it.”
Iron Will sighed, inwardly telling his national pride to be a good sport try and harder next time. “I yield to your superior stick-handling, oh wise fingerless one.”
Twilight rolled her eyes, stepping onto her feet. “Look, I’ll show you how to do it. It’s a simple matter of fulcrums and forces. Stand up and I’ll give you some advice.”
Iron Will played along, taking up a position that to his mind emulated a noble minotaur about to bisect an obnoxious ball of yarn. He gave her his most impressive speaker face. Unruly audiences quieted in awe at the first look at this stony countenance. “Like this?”
Twilight chuckled. “I wish I had a camera. If you ever needed a new job, you could pose for the covers of my friend Rarity’s favorite novels. Look,” she said as she pointed her stick at the weapon, “lift your grip up higher.”
Iron Will raised his eyebrows. “Okay, like this.”
Twilight ducked under his arms, lifting herself up with a steadying hoof on his knee. “Okay, let’s do this earth pony style.” She grabbed the inside of his right wrist with her teeth, using the other hoof to push the axe head up.
“Like this?” Iron Will lowered his arms, letting Twilight rest a hoof there. “You seem a little unbalanced there, Little Miss Physics.”
“Mmph Mmph!” Twilight released her mouth-grip and swiveled around, rearing onto her hind legs. “You have to assume that its a third class lever and-- “
And as Twilight turned inside his arms, her back resting against his axe-gripping hands while her hooves bumped against his chest and her nose nearly touching his, she quite forgot the differences between the lever types.
“Um.”
“Um.”
“Pardon me,” Discord said as he examined his nails. “Am I interrupting some mortal ritual?”
Iron Will’s hand released in surprised, dropping Twilight unto her back with a thump. She had enough presence of mind to enfold the axe in a levitation field as her rump hit the ground.
“Oops,” said Iron Will. “Guess I, um, needed a better technique.”
Discord sighed as Twilight stared off into the distance. “My body is hurting over every inch. Can we please get back onto the road toward my ability to levitate?”
Twilight swallowed, staring up into Iron Will’s eyes. “Sure.”
Discord clapped slowly. “Wonderful.” He stared at the still-levitating axe. With complete ignorance of biological functions, Discord turned away and said, “Now release his shaft and let’s go.”
This time, Iron Will had the presence of mind to catch the axe as it fell.
----
Luna stared for the briefest of moments at the spot where Celestia had momentarily stood. No one could fault her for being confused. The only pony who had ever witnessed a similar disappearance now had suffered it.
“I apologize, but she gave me no choice,” Tirek said with the closest thing to genuine sympathy he had shown for a thousand years. Almost instantly, he found the tip of a horn pressed against his forehead. His lower half's light coat stood on end as the air itself charged in expectation.
Luna’s voice was tightly controlled, and could have given a griffin mercenary company pause. “You apologize for tact. Yet, you take my sister from me.” Her pupils disappeared into clouds of silver. “My. Sister. Return her now.”
Tirek smiled. “I would do anything for you, my love. Unfortunately, I can’t do that right now. We require privacy.”
Two forehooves slammed into Tirek’s chest, sending him flying while turning an ornate birdfeeder into a dusty cloud. Tirek wipe the grime off of himself as he stood. “I forgive you for being emotional. Your loyalty is one of your most admirable qualities.”
He saw two silver eyes ignite inside the settling dust. “Tell me where my sister is, fiend!”
Tirek coughed. He snapped his fingers and the cloud disappeared, reformed into a statue of Luna covered in spiked armor. Nodding with satisfaction, he turned to his model. “Look up.”
She did. The scream was heard in Ponyville.
Luna had been too distracted by Tirek to noticed the change that gripped the world in a panic. Ponies across Equestria lifted their eyes to record a sight that would live in their cultural nightmare forever. Dragons of the Northern Eyrie had their skepticism of the importance of Equestria’s ruler shaken. Seapony explorers returned from the ocean’s surface, claiming that it was now far too dangerous to ever seek their land-dwelling cousins.
Celestia’s face was on the Sun, frozen in a silent scream.
Luna shook as she beheld the writhing field of white flares across the Sun drawn in the image of her sister. Celestia’s eyes were wide, a massive black sunspot making a small, terrified pupil.
Luna’s turned to Tirek, her voice steady. “You. You had the temerity to do this.”
“And I do nothing that she did not do to you.” He spread wide his hands with a regretful smile. “I believe that I am being more merciful. After all, your heinous punishment was unprecedented. I, at least, know that she will survive and the act can be reversed, which I will do in time. All those years ago, can you really say the same of her?”
The ponies of Canterlot had the sight of the solar abomination mercifully obscured as dark clouds pregnant with lightning formed over all the city. Those closer to the castle grounds saw lightning strike after lightning strike hammer into the castle garden.
Somehow, Tirek kept smiling. Tongues of white energy lashed down at him, pinning him to the ground.
“I will destroy you,” Luna said as she stared at Tirek with pitiless eyes bereft of pupils.
“As you wish,” he offered. He screamed in pain for her benefit.
“Whatever is left, I will personally tear into pieces. Hooves, horn, and teeth. Nothing shall remain.”
Tirek pushed himself onto his knees. It was difficult to do. The area around him had become baked glass. “As you wish.”
Luna charged into him, pitching him into a tree. “Thou art mocking me!”
Tirek’s eyes open fully. He pulled himself onto his hooves as the rage of the storm coursed through his body. The lightning flashes illuminated a grim, serious face.
“No, Princess.” A flaming tree limb crashed onto his shoulder as Tirek stood impassively. “After all I saw happen in the olden days, that is one thing I would never do. I will never mock you as others have.”
The air crackled, smelling of ozone. The lightning stopped, though. Cloud pulled together without releasing the crackling potential that flashed above the two immortals. Luna stood still, unreadable eyes scanning Tirek’s for understanding.
She stepped forward, white glare slowly being replace with blue eyes. “Why did you do this, Tirek?” Luna asked in a quiet voice.
He stepped forward. Tirek’s arm gently lifted towards Luna, but was pulled back at the last second. Her eyes watched it as it made its hesitant path through the air.
“The armies and might of Canterlot were thrown against me,” Tirek said softly. “I only came to see you.”
Luna stamped a forehoof on the ground, the aftershocks collapsing the remaining garden trees. “Thou art trying to trick me. I will not allow myself to become possessed by your power of darkness again!”
“That is a lie,” Tirek said with a snort.
Luna took a step back. She started to stammer something briefly.
Tirek lowered himself onto his knee to look Luna in the eyes.“Is that what ponies tell themselves in order to sleep at night? Do they speak of how you became possessed by some force? I can just see Celestia nurturing that story to bring sympathy to her ‘poor sister.’ We both know that the choice was always yours. Whatever the result of that decision, it was the pony in front of me who made that choice, not some tempting spirit.”
Luna stepped forward, gritting her teeth. “I am no longer that pony!”
Tirek nodded. “I concede that point. Well then, we could step inside and renew our acquaintance.” He gestured to the castle. “Shall we go inside, then? I believe heads of state meet with their guests in the Grand Table Ballroom. If I’m not mistaken, you usually took your breakfast there at this time.”
He snapped his fingers. As Luna’s mouth fell open a squad of guardsponies poured out of the cracked wall. They assembled into ranks behind their ruler. Tirek gave a respectful nod to the one he talked to earlier, who now approached Luna.
“Your majesty,” he said while keeping his eyes on Tirek, “we are ready to strike at your command.”
Tirek crossed his arms behind his back. He smiled and cocked his head as he made eye contact with the Princess. She was always the greater strategist of the pair, he recalled. I hope she makes the correct tactical decision.
Luna grimaced. She raised a hoof between Tirek and her soldiers. “No, brave warriors. The necromancer allows himself to be taken into our custody. If he perishes, so does the knowledge of how he has spirited away Celestia. Surround him, and take him to the dungeon.”
Tirek gave a nod, stepping forward as eight guards took up position around him. “After all these centuries you remain ever impressive, my Lady. You are always full of surprises. I await our next conversation alone.” He chuckled as he allowed a pair of manacles to be clapped upon him.
Luna turned her back on Tirek, slowly walking away. “You seem confident of my mercy for one I have not seen in a thousand years,” she said.
Tirek bristled. “That is the second lie you’ve spoken this day. They ill fit you, like dung spread across a flawless tapestry. Stop lying to the both of us, Luna.”
She turned, seeing confusion on the faces of Tirek’s guard as they passed her. “Halt,” she said. As the guards paused, Tirek stood next to her.
Luna noticed the increasing swarm of ponies on the periphery of her vision. On the parapets, at the windows, and around the walls of Canterlot Castle her subjects peered at her. My subjects, she realized. I must make my sister proud.
She scowled at Tirek. “You have the temerity to insult me? You, after attacking my kingdom, people, and family?”
Tirek looked up for a second. He nodded his head side-to-side in an exaggerated contemplation that drew a snort from Luna. “I admit this, dear Luna,” Tirek finally said. “I have imprisoned your sister. I will bring her back in time. I have assaulted your guards. However, I have killed no pony, and I will never lie to you.”
Luna stood still as Tirek permitted himself to be escorted away. Applause and cheers raised from the gathering audience. Luna allowed a smile for her subjects to inspire a confidence she did not feel.
Let the crowd believe I have won,she thought. Tirek could shatter those manacles and the dungeon at a thought. If he is imprisoned, it is only because he allows himself to be. She sighed, realizing that she could shares her concerns with no one in Equestria. Tirek is in control, and whether or not the people realize it a crimson king now reigns in Canterlot Castle.
___
The trio from Tartaurus had crossed rivers, navigated the darkest woods, and scaled steep hills. They had come upon their greatest challenge yet.
Discord had finally asked Twilight Sparkle about the rumbling in his belly.
Rolling her eyes, Twilight had started to explain. Iron Will had smiled as he saw confidence on her face for the first time since leaving the prison. Lecturing was something she knew well.
So Twilight explained to Discord about digestion. She carefully detailed the path of food through the digestive tract. She compared and contrasted the mechanical digestion of the teeth and the chemical digestion of saliva, drawing comparisons with the workings of the stomach. She drew diagrams in the ground with a stick, and fully detailed the differences between her herbivorous organs and the workings of a carnivore. Finally, she mentioned various ailments that could befall the digestive system, noting certain fascinating parasites.
Twilight allowed herself a smile at her silent and attentive pupil took in everything she said, then levitated an apple out of her saddlebags to offer to him.
Minutes later, Discord was still vomiting.
Iron Will giggled as the sounds of Discord retching on an empty stomach came to him from behind a tree. Twilight stared daggers at him as she chewed on the untaken apple.
“Well,” he offered with a smile, “Discord at least perfectly understands what he’s going through. Good work, Teach.”
Twilight sighed. “I don’t want to hear it.”
Discord’s sounds grew louder, and Iron shuddered. “No, I don’t want to either,” he admitted.
Twilight dropped the apple and lowered her head. Iron turned and almost said something before noticing her face. Twilight was crying. Her shoulders convulsed as she bit her lip, tears pouring out of closed eyes.
“Twilight?”
She opened her mouth and tried to make words with it before closing it again. She dropped onto her knees, and Iron heard her softly whimpering.
He nodded to himself. He knelt down next to Twilight and wrapped an arm around her neck, resting his hand on her shoulder. She raised her head to him.
Iron smiled. “Come on, Is that any way for the Heroine of Equestria to act?”
She snorted wetly. “Some heroine I am. I should be home with the girls, or taking them to Canterlot to plan. Instead I’m on a wild goose chase with a spoiled demigod and . . . and . . . ”
Iron poked her nose. “Come on. Iron Will has to be riding your nerves by now. Give Iron Will what he deserves. Insult Iron Will!”
Twilight shook her head as she sobbed. “I can’t.”
He blinked. “Well then. Iron Will is going to bring back our patchwork annoyance. When he comes back,” he bellowed, “Iron Will expects to see the pony who defeated Nightmare Moon and imprisoned Discord! He wants the unicorn who sniffed out a changeling queen and dared the dungeons of King Sombra! Iron Will’s going to walk away, and when he comes back he want to see Twilight Sparkle, Heroine of Equestria! Is that clear?”
Twilight chuckled. She smiled at Iron Will, saluting with a shaky hoof. “Aye-aye, sir.” She squinted. “You read my file, huh?”
He nodded, giving her two thumbs up and picking up the apple before walking off into the bushes. She stared at him thoughtfully as a booming voice reached her ears.
“You! Yes, Iron Will is lowering himself to speak to you, and he thought he was talking to a Lord of Chaos and Misrule, not a feckless pile of amphibian dung! What is your magical malfunction, boy?”
Twilight started giggling.
“Iron Will doesn’t care about your relative power level! Iron Will doesn’t need an insipid, cringing sack of horse-apples! Iron Will needs a dark demigod of delight, and that is what Iron Will is going to get! When someone steals your magic, you make their fate tragic! ”
Three minutes later Twilight saw Discord walk out from behind the copse with and apple in hand. He grinned evilly before biting down on the fruit, swallowing it whole. “Apples for lunch,” he said with a chuckle, “now let’s serve Tirek for dessert. Let’s get a move on, Miss Sparkle”
Iron Will nodded approvingly behind him.
Twilight shook her head in disbelief. “All right Mister Will, you’ve earned your motivational speaker cutie mark.”
He snorted and crossed his arms. “Iron Will has no cutie mark.”
She laughed. “I know, I’ve checked.” She half closed her eyes. “Thoroughly.” As he sputtered, she turned to Discord. “You’re sure we can make a portal at the Forgotten Monastery?”
“Oh, is that what they call it now? My my, ponies have such short memories. Back when I walked the face of Equestria-- “
“I doubt you ever walked anywhere,” said Iron Will, drawing a giggle from Twilight.
Discord crossed his arms. “Whilst I wandered, in this place was kept one of the Bells of World Walking. The symphonies played on it brought ponies into contact with quite a few of your inmates, Iron Will.”
Twilight scrutinized Discord’s face. She had a hard time reading ponies at times, and a harder time getting a read on a Draconequus. “This isn’t one of your jokes, Discord?”
He theatrically sighed. “No, because it isn’t funny. Get me to that bell, dearest Twilight, and I promised you and your ogre a sight which has been kept from pony eyes for centuries.”
“Minotaur,” she corrected instantly.
Iron Will had already raised a finger and opened his mouth to say something. At Twilight's quick response, he stopped. Raising an eyebrow, he shrugged and with a smirk leaned on his axe.
“Whatever.” Discord grinned. “Let me play a little tune and I’ll open up the path we need. I’ll get us to Tamberlon.”
Twilight nodded. “Well then, let’s go.” She trotted off. Iron Will turned to Discord and punched his fist into an open hand. Discord copied the gesture, grinning. The two ran after Twilight.
The group made good time until the treeline cleared at the edge of a cliff. Discord smiled at the crumbling structure beneath them. “See that bell tower? That’s exactly what we need.”
Twilight couldn’t speak. Her mouth was open, bottom jaw quivering as she looked up at the sun. Iron Will followed her gaze and silently placed a hand on her shoulder.
Discord blinked. “What? What is it, you astronomy-obsessed--” He looked up, noticing for the first time the pained face of Celestia across the Sun.
“Oh, no,” he said with narrowed eyes. “Bad form, Tirek. There’s going to be a penalty assessed for that illegal move.”
Twilight and Iron Will were still spellbound at the sight of Celestia. Discord was the only one who noticed when a dozen furry being with spears jumped out of the underbrush and surrounded the three.
He sighed. “I’m captured again? Great.”
“Oh, yeah,” said the largest of the furry things. He wore a red jacket, some kind of gem-studded amulet, and a crown-like green felt hat with a bell at the end. "I'll tell you one thing; it's a cruel, cruel world."
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Yay! This updated!
I should really go watch that episode, if this portrayal of Iron Will is anything like he is in the show. I'll read this after work.
It updated!
~yay~
Iron Will is amazingly genre savvy and Discord a bit too whiny for my tastes, but I like the way they play together as a group.
I'm looking forward for your take on Grogar and Bray.
1905090
Oh, I have their intro already written. I REALLY wanted to include it in this chapter, but a lot of stuff got bumped to Chapter 4.
Time to nitpick! //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Twilight_Sparkle_lolface.png
it
seem
explained
beings
Nitpicking done!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SO!
HUZZAH! IT UPDATED! NEED LUNA EMOTICON!
Twiwill shipping?
Me gusta.
Discord is a perfect asshole. I love it! //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Discord.png
Moar Tirek! You write villains very well.
MOAR! MOARMOARMOARMOAR!
1905379
Thanks for the corrections. Fixed!
As to the thing with Twilight and Iron Will.. :sigh:. That was nowhere in the notes. Nowhere in the conception. It just happened as the words came out, and where I rolled it around in my head a perfect reason popped out. Just wait until the last chapter for the reveal.
1905604
It was surprising, I'll give you that. I'll also give you that it's actually kind of cute.
1905090 Actually, Discord's whining is almost exactly like Q's when he was turned human for an episode.
1906030
Excellent! That's what I was going for.
1906160 I had figured you would be.
Now, I must go prepare some unspeakably overpowered weapons to blow up Tirek.
1906682
Yeah, after that chapter I'm wondering how the readers are viewing Tirek. Sympathetic villain or black-hearted fiend?
So they are going to In The Court Of The Crimson King, eh?
I can dig it.
The Court Of The Crimson King - King Crimson
1907292
I was thinking more like...
There's a lot of modern Power Metal influences. I can tell you, the next chapter is by some of the same musicians, and you may be able to guess it by the way the plot is going.
1906030
If you say so. TNG was too much soap opera, too little star trek: I stopped watching after a few episodes.
1908335
I think even us Trekkies can agree that the early seasons had serious problems, including episodes like "Spikefist Cagefight on Black People Planet X. See, We're Multicultural! Did We Mention They're Black?"
Still, it got better, and the Q episodes are beloved, almost justifying the fact that we watched Beverly Crusher meet her grandmother's ghost lover who lived in a candle and kill him with a laser gun.
Yaaay! This updated!
1908335
Funnily enough, I saw a thread on RPG.Net entitled "(ST: TNG) Which episodes of the first series should I skip?"
What's the first line?
"I'm renting the first season, you see* and I've heard about the planet of the zulu people who want Tasha to marry their king episode (ha ha ha no), what else should I skip?"
Told you it was a bad episode.
1907749
Good man. Continue.
1906893 *Snerks* Black-hearted fiend obviously. No one can fool me with a crocodile's smile.
I've used it often myself when moving in for the kill... >:}
1908335 *Alondro stares at you with an intense scowl... the skin of his head splits and peels away leaving nothing but a skull and fire shoots from his eye sockets*
*Alondro has just had a conniption*
1908349
Are you trying to get me to watch the series or not? I'm really not sure. Up to now you have given me less reasons to watch it than not to.
"It has Q!" works for "DS 9" and "Voyager" too, and you really, really don't want hear my opinion about those.
1911745
Cute. Can you do it again? That would win me a 1st place on "Funniest home videos".
*readies camera*
1915088
Jeez, everything keeps getting worse and worse for our heroes (and I use that term loosely for Discord).
Yup. Part of the Hero's Journey
So what took this chapter so long?
Got bogged down in my teaching career and planning the local Carl Sagan Day festival. I have a good amount of the next chapter written, luckily enough. I just looked at that stopping point and said, "Yeah, that's about a chapter."
Also, you were wondering if people would see Tirek as sympathetic after this chapter. I have to say: no. This may be the bronies we're talking about, but even the people who have tried to sympathize with Queen freaking Chrysalis couldn't sympathize with this guy.
Yeah. Tirek's not a nice person. I just know that sometimes the audience takes a different view than the artist.
Incidentally, what are your thoughts on the synopsis for "Keep Calm and Flutter On?" Or the rest of Season 3 so far?
I thought it aired this week. That's why I wanted to get this chapter out. Have to get my Discord fics out before the canon cannon fires.
As for season three, I am not as impressed as I was with season two. Great songs, one or two weak episodes, but nothing as strong as "Sweet and Elite," "Luna Eclipsed" or "Lesson Zero."
Then again, maybe the recent Spike idiot ball tossing episode just put a sour taste in my mouth.
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I admit, it had a bunch of great little bits in it: The AJ/Timber Wolf fight was awesome. While AJ was lead, every nonAJ character got great little bits, and I loved the return of the timber wolves and the new design and powers. A lot of people online are complaining about the use of CGI being jarring, but I honestly didn't notice.
Ooh, Luna... why do I sense wanting to punch her with an iron gauntlet in the future? Something is setting off warning bells fierce there. As for Discord... HAH! Serves you right!
1913849 Sorry, Bill Cosby has that routine copyrighted.
See "Chocolate Cake" routine.
Waitwaitwait. Wait. Wait a mintute. So you've got Tirek and Discord... And now you've got GROGAR!?! Those three are my favorite My Little Pony villains EVER! I don't believe it! This fic is AWESOME!!!
1922884
OH, yeah. Been excited about Grogar. Actually communed with RainbowDoubleDash to make sure my version was appropriately different from his. And just wait until you see Grogar's new sidekick...
1917784
I HAVE HAD ENOUGH...OF CHOCOLATE CAKE!
My father and I watched Himself every month. Didn;t hurt that I have a little brother named Jeffery.
1916901
I'm hoping to make Luna not a pushover equine Bella Swan. I like her, and want to do her justice.
" 'Minotaur,' she corrected as Iron Will raised a finger."
Out of curiosity, which finger did he raise? Index or middle?
1924697
Hmm. Corrected for clarification.
“Minotaur,” she corrected instantly.
Iron Will had already raised a finger and opened his mouth to say something. At Twilight's quick response, he stopped. Raising an eyebrow, he shrugged and leaned on his axe with a smirk.
Will you be referencing this comic in your fanfic? http://discorderlyconduct.tumblr.com/post/22383103622/nothing
The beginning of this chapter reminds me of the Star Trek episode where Q is (temporarily) made mortal.
signed the good dr.
2162413
I admit, that was some of the inspiration. There's a very famous other story (not television) that provided the other.
In terms of percentages, (ex:10%) how close is the next chapter to this fanfic to being completed?
2189540
Hmm. It's at 1,757 words. That's not one large chunk, that's different scenes in order with gaps and notes like "scene where Tirek does that stuff." So, 20% or so.
I'm working on the next Doctor Whooves and the House of Daring, and it's at 5,661 words.
My plan is, for reasons that will be obvious when it happens, to release the next Chaos & Darkness, House of Daring, and Nightmare in Ponyville ON THE SAME DAY. It will be a Paleo Prints event!
.... son of a bitch, did Discord and co just get captured by Bush Woolies?
Tirek beat The Immortal Sun Empress Celestia banished her to the Sun?....HERESY!
He shall pay eternally when her might falls upon him. 
Also I can't wait to see some Discord/Celestia moments, or Discord lamenting about her. I saw little nods to the pairing and I can't wait to see more. Tirek is going to learn the hard way that you shouldn't mess with the lord of chao's waifu.
And Twilight/Iron Will shipping?
You are a genius.