Chapter 14
Luna glanced at the dead sorcerer, still displeased with all the trouble he had caused. The forest surrounding Ponyville would need to be swept for bodies and cleansed of his memory. She performed a spell, and the stallion’s body lit up with quick-burning blue flames. In seconds, all that was left was a bare skeleton.
With a flick of her horn, the pile of bones flew into the cave, rattling off the stone walls. Luna nodded to Cheerilee, and the lavender mare picked up her cigarette from where she had dropped it. After taking a deep inhale to make the ash glow cherry red, she lit the fuse on the explosives.
Tossing the butt away, Cheerilee joined the others as they turned back towards Ponyville. Perhaps thirty seconds passed before the thundering detonation came. The entrance to the cavern came down in a pile of rocks, hiding the fact that there had ever been something at the location.
The Princess sighed. It was over and she had accomplished what she wanted to. Why wasn’t she happy, then? Was she supposed to be? It had been mostly anger driving her forward. That was what had caused her to incinerate the dead necromancer and bury the remains under a pile of rocks, although Luna told herself that it was because she was making sure he wouldn’t come back. Truthfully, she’d let herself go and lost a little self-control. I suppose everypony sometimes does things they aren’t proud of. Even Princesses.
Twilight saw the look on Princess Luna’s face and guessed that she was wrestling with something in her mind. Could the Elements of Harmony have done the job more easily or with a better end? The purple unicorn didn’t know. At best, what would they have been left with? A sorcerer who was sorry for creating an army out of dead ponies? Perhaps killing Skull really was the best solution, although it was very troubling that it might be true.
Golden glanced at the rest of the group. The high she felt from success was beginning to fade. The battle was won, but it hadn’t been easy or painless. While it wasn’t what Cheerilee did every single day, the white pegasus couldn’t help but wonder how the schoolteacher managed to put up with her job.
Beside her, the lavender pony walked slowly, shaking off the last of Skull’s magic attack. She thought of the future, about what would happen next. Golden had made great progress, but she wasn’t ready to take care of herself yet. Perhaps once she learned a little more self-control they could send her back to high school. Cheerilee smiled a little to herself. It might take a while to get to that point, but they would get there.
“I’ve been wondering,” said Spike, “The last time there was a necromancer around, the Royal Guard was sent to stop him. Ponyville was established in the area as a cover up. What are we going to do this time?”
Princess Luna shrugged. “We’ll handle things as they come. Hopefully some curious ponies like our friend Teacup don’t stumble on anything.”
Cheerilee nodded, catching the subtle reprimand. She deserved it, though. In a moment of weakness she’d made a few bad decisions. She would cooperate however Luna wanted to handle Tea. Hopefully that would be a simple memory spell. Surely she wasn’t thinking about…no, that was silly. Tea was a good pony, but Cheerilee couldn’t see him as a coworker.
Luna glanced at everypony else. She had gotten them involved, so it was up to her to make sure they were all right. If she made mistakes, the only thing she could do was correct them as well as possible. After all, everypony was weak sometimes. It was the support of friends that kept them going.
▼▼
Tea sat alone in his house, the sharp tools he’d taken from the china shop laid out in front of him. He’d had no chance to use them in self-defense or in defending any other pony.
The revelation that he’d been living next door to two vampires had set him on edge, and Tea didn’t know what to do with himself anymore. He could go on with his life…but he would still be living next door to vampires. Granted, Cheerilee was nice, but he didn’t know how he would treat her in the future. He felt like an idiot for trying to get closer to her.
The stallion packed up his tools and set out for the china shop. He unlocked the door and stepped into the back room only to stop short, staring at the loose floorboard where the mountain of bits was hidden.
Tea stood for several seconds, mind working. He knelt and pulled up the board. After a moment’s hesitation, he began scooping the money into his saddlebags.
After picking the space clean, Tea exited the shop and locked the door. He looked longingly towards the General Store where cigarettes were sold. It was just his addiction speaking to him and with some effort he could ignore the weakness and focus on more important things. Instead of giving in, Tea turned the other direction. He walked to the train station, buying the first ticket he could.
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Oe noes! The story is dun!
Andddd....
I feel once again disapointed...
Sorry, I guess I have held my hopes up too high...
I just dont really feel emotionally invested in the story much anymore, as I feel the Action, Takes more part than the Characters, and I dont mean the actions of the characters...
You Have done very well in many ways, but I am still left on what I feel like a short note.
It will still be an upvote and Favourite.
But well ,you cant please everyone
1428577
I might be running out of emotions. I hate to say this, but The Night Shift might be the high point of the series.
Give me a couple of months to develop the next sequel. We'll see then.
1428604
Dont worry, I Wont hold it against you.
I just try to come with my honest opinion. Just know that You are a Great writer.
You know, I have to say...
Even though your stories are still awesome in terms of quality, the chapters are getting shorter... and shorter... and shorter.
What happened to those 8000 word chapters from Battleship?
1428738
I really need to reevaluate my writing. I'm going to try to do some things differently.
1428446 Not quite. Tea still needs to be tied up. He is a loose end, after all.
Heh. Loose ends. Reminds me of ponies with detachable parts.
1428577
I agree. I thought we were at least going to have a heart-to-heart conversation between Tea and Cheerilee, but we didn't even get to see the conversation. We didn't even get to see Tea's reaction when he finds out that Cheerilee and Golden are vampires. There was a bit of an attempt at showing some emotional conflict with Luna there at the end, but I don't feel like there was any build-up to it. The whole story we were expecting Cheerilee and Tea to be the emotional climax, but then, suddenly, Luna steals the spotlight. Plus, and I'll be honest, the bit with Luna was pretty weak. It was basically 'mention problem, Luna feels sad about problem, Luna stops feeling sad about problem'.
All in all, I was very disappointed. I understand that you might not feel like there's any emotion left in the series; after all, no story can go on forever and still keep that fresh feeling. However, I don't think any of the feels that have been had were delved into deeply enough, which is what bothers me. There's a wide range of feels, but each has little substance.
If you need anything done or whatever, let me know and I'll do my best to help.
1428604 well i thought it was very emotional and the ending was great, but that's just my opinion.
1430473
Agreed with you there Sir.
My thoughts exactly.
1429752
Wrapped up in the next story: Tea van Teasing!
I thought this story was great, as were the others. It just didn't investigate itself enough. The short chapters gave it a choppy feeling, and while there was some introspection going on, there really wasn't enough. For example, Cheerilee seems to go along with things a bit too much. She doesn't seem to question things enough, like her lifestyle, what she's become, what she's left behind, and what she can be (frankly, it's always interesting to see a hero falter or entertain dark thoughts now and then). Also, her relationship with Golden should be developed more, since she is perfect for a foil to Cheerilee's character. Regardless though, I still liked the story, and I still find it interesting, if a little misguided. Please continue the series, because even if it doesn't feel fresh, there's still a ton of concepts to explore.
WAIT if a necromancer dies dosent it turn into a lich
What ever happened to Valiant? There's allusions to his absence, what with mention of Twilight's empty couch and the pile of rusted junk (that probably used to be his 'mech), but where did he go? Did he find a way home, become a successful business-stallion, or did his one of his schemes end in his (not entirely surprising) death?
Wtf? Gah! I stop checking your stuff for a moment and you write a whole dang new story?
I don't know where you get time to do this but if you ever run out i hope you win a lottery so you don't have to do anything but sit on your bum and write some more.
1533976 More of the Vampire Cheerilee Series here.
Yeah, I don't have much of a social life. I've just written my 40th story
Just finished reading the whole thing. Nice. Liked "China and China Accessories" (insert ISeeWhatYouDidThere.jpg). I seriously hope you continue with this series. You are awesome and you should feel awesome. (See what I did there?!)
Just wanted to say thanks for writing Vampire Cheerilee. I've been on a (classic) vampire fix. (Just finished Hellsing. Alucard is creepy.) This series has helped quench that thirst (for blood
) a little more.
Forgot to add this...
...because I can.
2386759 A fan of Alucard, eh? You'll like Turn That Frown Upside Down
Ok, one more post. Somepony should draw Cheerilee in an Alucard outfit and Golden Ring as Seras. I would, but I can't draw.
He walked to the train station, buying the first ticket he could.
He took the midnight train going a~ny~where!
I want to like these stories, I really do. However, there are a ton of issues with them. The two most prevalent are horrible show vs tell and Lavender Unicorn Syndrome (sometimes literally) up the yahoo. It makes them extremely hard to read when we get almost no sense of emotion or setting. We don't relate to their experiences, we have to be told "Cheerilee was sad" or "The schoolteacher was happy." Calling her the schoolteacher is especially egregious. What does that have to do with the situation she's in currently? It wouldn't be good to call her "the vampire" all of the time, but it would at least be a little more relevant.
Also, unlike The Luck of the Draw, the whole necromancer thing isn't really all that important to the story. Neither is Cheers reforming Golden, for that matter. It seemed like two half-stories that aren't really explored put together. The Mane Six are in there for no reason at all, save for the fact that they all live in Ponyville. It was overall just... bland. I wouldn't really call any of the Vampire Cheerilee stories great, per se. They have their virtues and flaws, but this one was especially bad. Vampire Cheerilee should be interesting, but it never really feels like Cheerilee. I get that the show doesn't give us a ton to work with, so it's hard to do, especially since she's a vampire in this series, but I don't get a really solid character from her. Golden especially suffers from the show vs tell thing. I never really get her struggle beyond a few token sentences. As a result, I never really feel Cheerilee's struggle in reforming her.
Overall the series is kind of... eh. I didn't downvote any of them, but none of them really took advantage of the premise like I'd hoped they would. Luck of the Draw was probably the best one because it was the most focused, but all of them need work. I get it. These were written in 2012. My stories were crap in 2012.
Fully explored and us shown things instead of told them, these stories would be twice as long. As is, they're telly, full of irritating Lavender Unicorn Syndrome, and I never really connected with the stories or characters. I never felt any tension, which is especially bad when it comes to the villains. Cheerilee should have had to use all of her wits and strength to beat the necromancer, but instead she just took a blast of magic, Golden jumped on him, and the Big Bad was defeated in all of two paragraphs. If he was this easy, why didn't Luna just flick him aside?
I dunno. It's just my opinion. I wanted this to be better than it was. Overall they were just... weak.