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  • T From Tokyo to Equestria

    Man becomes pony, except somepony forgot the 'transport to Equestria' part. Complications ensue.
    12,284 words · 806 views  ·  27  ·  3

Blog Posts10

  • 7w, 2d
    Chapter 7 is nearly done

    4 comments · 209 views
  • 25w, 4d
    Down another leg of the trousers of time

    I suppose it's just as well that I never specified the 'later' in my 'later blog post.'  For whatever reason, it always ended up more compelling to work on chapter 6 than to polish this old fragment up.  Still, 'tis now polished, and some folks may be interested.

    To reiterate, this is not what actually happened, but it's basically what might have happened, had he simply been banished back to Earth by the elements, due to his alien nature, and the Princesses had not yet arrived to begin clearing things up.  This ending would've originally come just after chapter 5, with Inscape planned as a surprise bonus (except things would have continued to spiral even further out of control, until the ponies leave in a huff at the end).

    So, without further ado:

    Chapter 06 - The Blue Pill


    Dear Princess Celestia,

    You have no doubt been briefed on the situation by the royal guards, but I am writing to add my own preliminary notes on today's events, as well as an unexpected lesson we learned about friendship.

    I am pleased to report that we have discovered the cause of the disaster at Cloudsdale, and that nopony was seriously hurt. From what we can tell, the events were all caused by a single creature.  

    In the end, we were able to stop it with the Elements of Harmony, but we couldn’t have done it without the assistance of the diamond dogs, in particular one named Fluffy.

    When we first arrived at Cloudsdale, we learned that, in addition to causing the explosion, Spitfire had witnessed the creature foalnapping two young pegasi and escaping.  

    Unfortunately, nopony knew where it had gone until Fluttershy was able to ask the local animals, who lead us to a nearby mine.  Inside, we found a group of diamond dogs had set up camp while they looked for a new home.  Before we even arrived, they had captured the creature and rescued the foals from it, tasking Fluffly with returning them to Cloudsrail, the nearest settlement.  

    While they were evasive as to why they captured the creature, and they need to improve their definition of property ownership, between Rarity and Applejack we are pretty certain of those main points.  Unfortunately, when we went to see the creature, we found it had mysteriously escaped.

    It went chasing after the foals, but also set up a variety of traps to slow our pursuit down.  At some point it also managed to catch up to Fluffy and steal the foals - when she reached the exit, she discovered they had been replaced by dummies.  She returned just in time to delay its escape enough to allow us to catch up and save the foals, despite being injured in the effort.  Who knows what would have happened if we hadn't been able to catch up to it?

    While clearly intelligent, and using items of a craftsponyship I’ve never seen before, the creature behaved extremely erratically - endangering everypony around it, and nearly killing Fluffy during the fight.  We were ultimately able to subdue it, but when we demanded it explain itself, it replied with an escape attempt that forced us to use the elements.  We planned to question it afterwards, but to our surprise, it disappeared completely!  Was it a spirit?  Some variant of the Nightmare returned in physical form?  A scion of Discord?  Something else entirely?  I have so much research to do!

    I will elaborate more on the details in person, but for now, let me say that the episode showed me the importance of clear communications.

    All this time we thought the diamond dogs were just greedy, barbaric group of ruffians.  It turns out that they actually have a deep sense of community and responsibility.  Had we established better communications and developed a true understanding of their motivations, our original incident with the diamond dogs might never have come to pass, and we would have been in a much better situation today.  The experience has taught me that you shouldn't jump to conclusions, and you can find nobility in even the most unlikely of locations.

    Your faithful student,

    Twilight Sparkle



    "Sir?  Sir.  SIR!"

    He looked up, dazed.

    "Sir, I have no idea what you think you are doing down here, but we’re currently closed to visitors, and I am going to have to ask you to leave."

    The dirt-smeared man smiled broadly, visibly unnerving the security guard as he knelt down and started kissing the ground.

    It's good to be home.

    14 comments · 405 views
  • 45w, 2d
    On the (non) ending

    I would've posted this on the Author's note, but I realized it made it way too long.

    So one of the pre-readers on this chapter was unhappy with how grim the chapter was.  Turns out they thought it was the end of the story.  This is not without reason - google docs doesn't have a complete/incomplete tag, and, well, it used to be the end.

    At the time, I thought I was being cleverly subversive, because in HiE, how often do the elements work properly and the humans simply get banished like a monster-of-the-week?  Not terribly often.  Not to mention from my perspective, all the characters in the story basically get what they want - the Mane 6 are the big damn heroes and banish the scary bad guy, and said bad guy escapes the crazy pastel equines.  Of course as my pre-readers pointed out, by doing so I may have given the characters what they want, there was this little group called the readers that might not be so satisfied.  Something about dangling plot threads and resultant torches and pitchforks.*

    After some thinking, I came up with an alternate plot that will hopefully be posted before the heat death of the universe.  For those curious about my initial intentions, I plan on tossing up the original epilogue in a later blog post, once I've cleaned it up a bit.  While said Epilogue is no longer entirely accurate, it may still provide some insights.

    Regardless, I hope you've enjoyed the latest chapter.

    Sincerely,

    Cal

    * This may be embellished

    5 comments · 360 views
  • 46w, 6d
    Chapter 05 is almost ready

    Happy new years!

    Though life has been busy at times, you may be pleased to hear that neither I nor the story have died.  In fact, I recently completed the last major piece of chapter 05, and it is now in a final draft, pending pre-reader feedback.  As soon as I hear from a few of them, I should be able to post it.

    Sorry for the wait, hopefully it won't be much longer.

    9 comments · 229 views
  • 72w, 3d
    Chapter 4 progress

    Thank you all for your patience, I know I'm not always the most communicative.

    So the initial draft of Chapter 04 is basically complete, and is currently receiving that all-important objective feedback and consideration.  I'll be putting it up as soon as I've gotten the all clear.

    I didn't think the writing would run nearly this long, but some portions ended up taking a fair amount of re-writing to get right, and I also had to take some time out to brainstorm some major plot elements.  One of those benefits of pre-readers is getting push back when you're trying something silly; the eventual form of the story has diverged greatly from plan A, and coming up with plan B was non-trivial.  So long as things hold together, though, it should be for the better.

    Oh, and count yourselves lucky that April 01 is in the rear-view mirror XD

    2 comments · 201 views
  • ...
 547
 12,627

Cloudsdale.  Bastion of the Pegasi, linchpin of weather control, home to the Wonderbolts.  A magnificent metropolis gracing the skies of Equestria.  So what happens when an oblivious human starts stumbling around in a sailplane?  As they say, hilarity ensues.

First Published
6th Oct 2012
Last Modified
13th Oct 2014

Hey, maskedferret, he's a pretty cool guy.

Oh wow, that was absolutely amazing. I love stories like this, where the emotions are portrayed so perfectly without a single line of dialogue. Not only that, but the descriptions used were so great that it made it seem like I was actually there, and it's rare when I experience that while reading a story.

Your writing was great, the spelling was great, and overall the story so far is great. I seriously hope you plan to continue this, and I seriously hope an update comes soon.

Honestly, I can't really think of any problems in the story. My only complaint would be the picture used near the beginning. Generally, you shouldn't use pictures in a story like this, since they only serve to distract from the story. I get why you used it, but considering the description of the glider you used, as well as the cover image for the story, I think the readers would still have been aware of what he was in even if the picture in the story hadn't been used. Other than that, this is great. :pinkiehappy:

>>1393466

Thanks, your comment made my day.  I'm glad to hear my descriptions were immersive enough to convey the scenes.  

This is the first time I've heard the picture might be a problem, though I can see your point.  At the same time, If someone is inattentive and goes in with the layout of a standard glider in mind, they'll be completely confused, so I've been erring on the side of caution.

>>1393400

I agree.  maskedferret was extremely generous and did an awesome job catching mistakes and giving advice.  The earlier drafts were much rougher by comparison.

>>1394016

Thanks!

>>1394304

Yeah, I see your point. Before I noticed the cover image, I was thinking about a regular glider which would have left me completely confused.

this story is pure genius.

Daddy likes this

Yakety Sax comes to mind as he's falling through the floors. :rainbowlaugh:

All things considered, he's incredibly relaxed, but I suppose when you're hallucinating the best thing you can do is sit back and enjoy the show.

Hmn, that was different, in a good way.

Next chapter ought to be interesting, I'm looking forward to it.

>>1395067 >>1395096 >>1395470

I'm glad to hear you folks are enjoying the story!  I'll do my best to keep it up.

>>1395446

I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.  I was starting to worry my [comedy] tag might have been in error.  

I suppose he does have a fairly hands-off approach to the situation, but I believe with these whole-craft parachutes, the pilot doesn't really have much in the way of control.

Ultralights shouldn't cause that much damage, holy crap :twilightoops:

No my friend. When you reach the ground, you die. :scootangel:

Interesting premise so far. I'll definitely keep track of this.

I can tell our protagonist is gonna be in biiiiiiig trouble when they finally capture him. They'll probably press charges for destruction of property and kidnapping too.

Keep up the good work! :twilightsmile:

So very descriptive, nicely done. Kwakerjak has not led me wrong yet.

Oh, and 'ready to spit fire', :ajsmug:.

>>1395591  Yes, please write more of this.  I find it interesting that Equestrian is a foreign language to your protagonist; we don't see too many HiE stories with that kind of plot point here! :twilightsmile: (At least, I haven't run into one that featured translation difficulties.)  

>>1397169

Then you have missed at least two I can think of straight away: Arrow 18 and ReEN. And any number of random Halo fics. But I agree, it's a plot point that should be more standard, rather than the other way around.

And I will have to once again choir the praise from my mates here. Descriptiveness is good here, and the few times things flow awkwardly you just barge on ahead because of the plot. Punniness level is decent, but IDK what sort of level of seriousness contra comedy you're aiming for with this fic overall. So far it works well indeed. WORK SLAVE Keep it up, bro.

You accidentally the Weather Factory. :rainbowlaugh:

Are those Spitfire's kids?

>>1395744 >>1397544

Whoops!  Um, sorry about that.  :derpyderp1:  You have a spare, right?  :scootangel:

>>1395980 >>1396109

Naah, they're all such friendly, good-natured pastel ponies.  What could possibly go wrong?  :pinkiehappy:

>>1396331

:twilightsheepish:

>>1397169 >>1397252

Another story that come to mind is A Different Viewpoint of Equestria.  You're right though, any linguistic bumps are usually glossed over pretty quickly with magic.  In this case, whether the language barrier has a magic solution or not remains to be seen.

Arrow 18 is definitely one of my favorite stories.  While I didn't set out to copy it, they do share certain elements, and its scenes of flight in Equestria were among the things that originally got my imagination going.  I'm glad the level of humor is working out so far.

>>1397573

No, she's just being heroic.  I think of this particular cloud like official Equestrian government housing, so he's basically slicing through a cross section of various apartments.

>>1397573 not the idea was he';s falling through some sorta apartment building. She just notices there are kids and tries to rescue them. :twilightblush:

Awsome fic, can't wait for the next chapter!

>>1397989

While A Different Viewpoint seems pretty decent storywise so far, it still gets the inevitable "Translation Spell" plot device halfway through the first chapter...slightly disappoint. :(

>>1399755

True, but the initial application of the spell is not the last time the issue comes up.  Though it's not a strong barrier to communication, the language difference does continue to play a role in the plot as the story progresses.  

>>1399380

Thanks!

:twilightsmile:

Awesome. Loved it. Lucky for him ponies are walking friendship machines and if he can even gesticulate well enough to convey regret, he's probably fine. At the rate that horrible, dramatic things seem to be happening to or near foals, which is to say every time they're on a screen, they tend to be giggling right along with it. They have to have some reputation for that sort of constant nihilistic mischief by now. You'd think an awkward, frail figure like a human in flying equipment would immediately come across as a lost, nonmagical bystander.

Either that, or Spitfire can't understand him and decides to beat the living shit out of him. Good luck bro. Hope you're good at charades.

You made me want to try rainbows on chicken with some injera. :raritywink:

This is great.

The descriptions were perfect and the conflicting sense of peaceful drifting and mayhem was quite thrilling.

Although the water x rainbow reaction isn't something I really see as being reasonable, at all.

This is.... interesting!:rainbowderp:

>>1400247

I posted too quickly, as I noticed your point once I progressed far enough. Definitely the first time I've seen the translation spell expire! Novelty indeed, as is the fact that it actually explains it for once rather than MAGIX DERP. Wise twist.

>>1400797

Glad you're enjoying it.

Yeah, he is in a bit of a pivotal point - things could break in many different ways from here (aka I'm going to have to make up my mind soon).

>>1401127

I figured liquid rainbows are basically magically condensed light, and sunlight is actually more energetic than most people give it credit for.  For example, a simple solar panel can put out about 250 watts (comparable to the sustained work potential of an in-shape human) and that's only at an average panel conversion efficiency of 20%.  

A typical liter of gas has 34 Megajoules of energy, equivalent to about 10kilowatt-hours.  Checking on one of those solar array calculators, a 10kwh daily power requirement gave me 3000 watts of panels necessary (assuming average insolation levels: ~4 hours of sun.  A Pegasus city is high altitude, plus they control the clouds, so it'd probably be even better, but meh).

So a bit of arithmetic gives a dozen average solar panels (or the same number of unlucky cyclists) able to output roughly the energy equivalent of a liter of gas (50 for a gallon) per day.  If our magic rainbow collector is 100% efficient, you collect 5x as much.

Of course, relating to actual energy release, there's a lot more to it than just the amount of potential energy available.  The energy density of the eventual liquid and the rate of release are also critical, but I digress (and they'd be made up numbers for liquid rainbow anyhow).  :pinkiecrazy:

I hadn't actually crunched the numbers until now, but my thought was basically that unprocessed rainbow could be fairly potent stuff, and should be handled respectfully.  Water creates rainbows through refraction, so perhaps the energy is released optically as well.  /shrug

Wow, I really got off on a tangent.  :twilightsheepish:

Anyhow, YMMV, and I'm glad you enjoyed the story in spite of that bit.

>>1401818

Glad to hear it!

>>1401916

Yeah, I like how the author takes a bit of time to explore the mechanics of the different systems a bit, and how that leads into unusual directions and unexpected developments.

>>1403897

I got no problem with Liquid Rainbow having energetic and even explosive qualities.

I only have a problem with it reacting to water.

I was speaking completely practically, not theoretically.

It would be like manufacturing gunpowder inside an active volcano.

>>1403975

Ah, yes you do have a good point there.  I think with clouds, normally the water is diffuse enough for the reaction rate to not to be an issue, the Pegasi have quite a few safeguards in place, and at a certain point I resort to Pegasus magic handwavium.  

>>1404030

I just keep picturing Pinkie's (and your human's) heads getting blown clear off though...

>>1404040

Well, the energy density of the liquid may not necessarily be all that high.  The rain on the wing didn't result in that big of an energy release.  Plus we don't know exactly what was going on inside the weather factory, so there may have been other elements in play.

>>1404118

Of course. In the mean time, I'd keep "rainbow loaded jawbreakers" as a shelved prank for now. We don't want that to be literal after all.

Congrats on hitting EQD! :pinkiehappy:

This was very refreshing. I really like how you conveyed so much emotion and feeling without a word passing between the ponies and the narrator. Made me feel like I was passenger on a whimsical ride through a fairy tale in slow motion. Well written and unique. Bravo.:twilightsmile:

Love it.

Reminds me of another HiE story, where a human is captured by the Equestrian government; the ponies and he can't understand eachother, but it tells the story from both sides... I wish that story would fuckin' update.

Anyway, great/awesome story. Fav'd and liked.

I never thought that I would get into fanfic, but here I am, reading an extraordinarily well done fanfic, and laughing my butt off. :rainbowlaugh:

Oh and btw, your story is on the front page of Equestria Daily.

I am glad to see an incomplete tag for this story.

*Comes to read story*

*gets side-tracked looked up videos of foot-powered sailplanes on youtube*

Being a nerd is both problematic and wonderful at the same time.

Let us all bow our heads give thanks...

...that it wasn't a commercial airliner. :rainbowderp:

You have my attention

Thanks for the kind words, and I'm glad to see you're enjoying the tale.

>>1445686 >>1446221

It was definitely something nice to wake up to!

>>1446393

I'd thought about including some links in the description (it'd be amusing to see if aeriane noticed a sudden influx of pony), but I didn't want to come off as a commercial.  I actually have no affiliation with the company, and I only wish I had the glider.  I saw it on an old episode of "Beyond 2000" and thought it was cool ever since.

As far videos go, I think this one is my favorite.

Though the pilot in the story just has the plain gliding version.

>>1446660

"As the entirety of Cloudsdale split apart and toppled over, the plane-shaped hole in the cloud having cut through it like a breadknife through a block of soft butter, the Captain looked at the large collection of candy-coloured ponies that were now hanging onto the wings and nosecone of the airliner with astonished expressions on their faces. Thankfully, it seemed Equestrian pegasi were made out of taffy, since the few Cloudsdale residents who'd hit the turbines had gone through without suffering anything worse than sprained wings and a few knocks on the head. However, the engines were still insisting on conforming to mundane Newtonian physics (perhaps in a hope that if they acted like nothing was strange it would all go away). The engine on the tailplane had managed to escape unscathed, but the two wing engines had exploded, belching thick black smoke and fire. A handful of the pegasi had recovered quickly enough to grab some of the remaining rags of cloud hanging off the passenger jet and try to put out the fires by squeezing them over the engines like wet towels, but that wouldn't change the fact that the Captain now had to bring the jet down on minimal power, and there didn't seem to be any patch of land in sight that was long and flat enough to perform an emergency landing."

It was like licking a high voltage battery made of frozen wasabi.

--

I am slightly disturbed at the ease with which I envisioned what this must be like. And I don't even like wasabi.

This story bears tracking. Or is it tracking bears? Well, I'll keep an eye on it for now, and if I see any bears I'll let you know while I'm running away.

:pinkiehappy:

Oh boy. He's in for it!

Can't wait for the next chapter! Tracked and faved! :rainbowkiss:

Very nice my friend, looking forward to seeing where this goes.:pinkiehappy:

>>1448471

Remember: you don't have to outrun the bear - you just have to outrun Steven Colbert.

>>1448735 >>1449266

Thanks!  I suppose it wouldn't hurt to confirm that there is indeed a second chapter in the works.

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