Moooore~

SPESS MEHRENS!

This story is very good, can't wait for the next chapter.

Okay I like it. It's pretty much how a colony team would react and have the same procedures. Also their reactions to everything. Though it seems a bit rushed. That's something to work on but not a glaring or obvious problem.

>>14322201432220 I'm working on improving my pacing, to know I can still use improvement helps, thanks! I was trying to be as realistic as possible with the colonists' procedures and reactions. Looks like it worked just fine.

>>14307521430752 >>14304821430482 I'm glad you like it. There will be more.

Lolol, they got poison joke'd.

I thought that when someone turns to stone it is just like a sheet over them that magically makes them inert until it is removed.

>>14330821433082 The cockatrice's abilities are not really explained, are they? The only info we have on it is that it is curable by the cockatrice and not (immediately, at least) deadly. One could also infer that it does not hurt, as Fluttershy does not appear to flinch when the spell begins to take hold of her in that episode. In this case, I'm assuming a complete magical conversion into a form of stone, as when Twilight is tipped over while under the influence of the spell, she left a substantial dent, didn't she? Or am I remembering that wrong?

Mythologically, though, the cockatrice and basilisk (depending on their respective versions, death/stoning glance, et cetera) can consume their victims as stone. At least, the basilisk can.

>>14331891433189 Huh.

Another theory I thought of is do you want to kill the cockatrice if half of you is already stone?

Fucking... GENIUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!!!!

All I can say is that this is going to be a very good story ^^, Definatly deserving of both a fav and like

>>14350841435084 I try. I didn't know this would be so well-received, though. Quite happy about it. There is more coming, probably in three to four days.

I would have used Killian as a scout, in his current condition- just saying.

>>14353071435307 He cannot speak the language and doesn't have much of an idea how to act around other ponies. Even then, a pony from every other pony would probably attract some suspicion. Besides, the Skipper doesn't want to take unnecessarily risky actions, remember? He doesn't want anyone else to end up like Powell, or worse. Going off alone with no equipment--as to remain inconspicuous--would be a risky thing to order a man just turned pony, with no experience in being or acting like one, to do. A reasonable idea, though.

Thanks for the feedback, I hope you're enjoying the story so far.

>>14354051435405

Good point.

The "spacefaring-humans-and-their-technology-meeting-ponies" stories  have to be my absolute favorites on fimfiction, and you sir are doing an exellent job. Keep up the great work!

Definitely sold on this story.

Moar please.

>>14332571433257

This......

Also ALLOFMYYES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!  

Looking promising so far.

YES this looks good....

continue

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQE2OhHAUWATVO6s55UMlER1SFkewLWgg3jAofVAxxXFQ4WO5IQMA

that did not work

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQE2OhHAUWATVO6s55UMlER1SFkewLWgg3jAofVAxxXFQ4WO5IQMA

>>14421111442111 Add '[img]' to the front of the URL, and '/img', (in brackets). It should work.

>>14422961442296 thanks for the help

Too bad Stephen Halking  couldent live to see that planet

My only complaint is that everyone is jumping to the "magic" conclusion way too quickly. These are scientists and tech-experts in a setting where science has somehow overcome the problem of FTL travel; even if the answer IS magic, it should be taking them a lot longer to think this isn't just something weird that they can't detect (and it would be completely reasonable to believe that there is some special class of particles responsible for the weirdness here that their sensors cannot detect). Also I'm going to be annoyed if this ends up with all of them turning into ponies; it makes perfect sense as a prank the Poison Joke would pull, but turning all the humans in a story into ponies when they reach Equestria bugs me.

I liked the response to the Cockatrice encounter; that's the kind of "hitch" that prompts immediate retreat and re-evaluation of the situation. They do seem to be jumping to the "contact the locals" step faster than feels right but it's hard to argue against moving the plot along, and it's reasonable considering that's their only lead on curing their afflictions.

>>14457941445794 First bit: Yes, they are. Though, remember, Killian isn't a scientist; he's a navigator and security officer, a mathematical genius maybe, but not a scientist like Kathy is. Do not worry about ponification occuring on a wide scale, or likely at all again. It only happened to Killian because, well, he's an alien and thinks something is weird about this place, so BAM, now he's a native, and it's irony, as you see. His sanity isn't exactly at its peak, either. Who else is jumping to the magic conclusion? Kathy's still puzzled about it all, and suspects some sort of rule-violation on the part of this entire star system, and the Skipper is concerned about poor Powell. If they assume he's alive, he'll die of some thing or another rather shortly, because of dehydration or something. If they assume he's dead--which the Skipper does not want to do--then the natives would likely know how to deal with cockatrice encounters, and may pass off experience, which could be invaluable in further encounters. (Speaking of which, what do ponies usually do to handle cockatrices? Only one pony we know of can solidly counter one; Fluttershy. Guess I've got to figure that out myself! I'll try to make it interesting.) Oh, yes, FTL travel... can't explain that, it's an instrument for the plot, I'd admit.

At this point, even more natural forces will be quantified, identified, isolated, and, most importantly, understood by mankind. They might think they know all there is to know, all that can be; their Standard Model may be more complete by now, or something. To them, there might not be a concept of a 'magic particle'. I mean, we just observed the Higgs-Boson particle ourselves, a mystery that's puzzled scientists for years. This story takes place an undefined amount of time into the future.

Second: Yup, that event's purpose in a nutshell. The resolution to contact the locals draws from what I said above, about Powell. Besides, they don't seem hostile or very well advanced, and they can't just ignore the local civilization forever; they're eventually going to want to land their colony modules. Has to happen sometime.

I haven't taken any education in hard science subjects (I'm in tenth grade), yet I'm trying to write a semi-hard science fiction story. Can't be perfect, heh. Thanks a lot for your feedback, it delights me when deeper analysis is given than just 'Moar!'. Hope you're enjoying it.

I think the pony solution is to not encounter them. Im sure Zecora knows an antidote, and the Alicorns can presumably cure it since petrification is a valid punishment. Twilight could probably undo it after a little study, too.

This aint bad orange. Not at all.

Well orange. I think I have decent response for your Killian magic situation . Rather than have his say "this must be magic" have him say "what is this then? Magic?"

>>14501421450142 Good thinkin', thanks.

http://youtu.be/TEVnGZZX9LA

I like it! Have a fave and thumbs up!

Space opera and ponies are always a winning combination.

I'm confused, even if the scans show that air is breathable, shouldn't they wear some sort of protective gear in case of exposure to microbes?

...dome-like helmets with air filters and built-in lights.

>>14559281455928 They are. Not full-body or sealed, but yes, they breathe filtered air while on the surface. Note what Powell says about wondering what the air smells like.

I want more of this story. it is good.

It makes Fluttershy Happy.

Image: http://pinkie.ponychan.net/chan/files/src/133366171290.png

Longest chapter I've put out, ever. Hope y'all like it. I apologize for making you wait so long, I hope I can put out the next one faster.

Edit: This chapter has been changed! A scene has been removed.

Finaly contact and now come sthe worst part... witing for the next chaper =/

First time commenting on Fimfiction :D

This is getting so damn exciting >.< I sure hope the ponies see how powerful the humans are without becoming enemies. I'd love to "see" their reaction!

Keep the awesome chapters coming!!! ^^

Good work

C-40 assault rifles?  I rather like what that implies, hopefully these folks will do the maple leaf proud.

>>15240491524049 Hmhmhm, yes, indeed. It's intended as both that and a Starcraft reference. (C- is a commonly-used designation for infantry rifle.)

Indeed, the most stressful part is waiting for the next chapter.

One little problem early on:  "Orbit path is clear. That star is... orbiting around the planet, as I've got it here. Looks like those kooky theories were correct after all. One natural satellite, as probe telemetry has already told us. No other planets, as we already know... oh, preliminary geographical analysis coming in. Three continents, one bigger than the others. Eighty-one percent water coverage, one hundred and one point six percent Earth gravity."

The star is orbiting the planet.  They know this, they know it should be utterly impossible by all known laws of physics.  And then, when they confirm the planet's gravity is only barely higher than Earth's, they should be VERY concerned about what the hell is going on.  Any scientist would be stunned to disbelief at such an impossible system and immediately realize that a power, whether of exceedingly advanced technology or otherwise, beyond human comprehension must be at work.

I know, because I am a scientist.  And the Equestrian system would be approached with extreme caution had I anything to do with the mission, if at all, until we knew exactly what we were dealing with.  

This is gonna be good.

Let's hope first contact goes well!

By the way, what are your influences.

>>>Alien viruses and bacteria. Human immune systems were completely unprepared to deal with such things, should they find humans to be valid targets, which was unlikely, but possible.>>>

For viruses, yes, VERY unlikely.  Viruses need to have surface receptors which are perfect binding matches to their hosts.  The odds of alien viruses finding a match to our cell surface proteins (and vice versa with our viruses) is extremely low.

Bacteria, on the other hoof, would be DEVASTATING!!  And interestingly, it would not be the normal infections.  Parasitic bacteria such as Mycobacterium and Shigella wouldn't likely pass to alien hosts, as they too rely on surface receptor matches.  The normal bacteria and fungi we all carry and those harmless to the alien life would find our organic matter an easy target if they used similar amino acids, sugars, lipids, and/or nucleic acids.  It is highly likely carbon-based life will have striking biochemical similarities no matter where it arises for the simple reason that reaction energy gradients are the same everywhere in the universe.  And as we see from spectroscopic analysis of nebulae, the same simple carbon compounds are ubiquitous.  Many species are highly opportunistic, and would easily invade our bodies and multiply rapidly before our immune system could recognize them as invaders and develop a response.  Microorganisms with thick cell walls would be the most dangerous, as our immune system has even a tough time dealing with terrestrial infections from such organisms.

>>15241631524163 Rendezvous With Rama by Arthur C. Clarke is significant, but no other ones really stand out.

>>15241341524134 They'd already known that and been boggled for years trying to explain it. It took many years to relay the probe telemetry back to Earth, and many more years to build Eclipse, as you may infer. The ship's prepared for most anything that could be prepared for, and can go back if the situation warrants, and with an engine as powerful as theirs, they'd be outta there some quick if things got hairy. In my head, the mindset of humanity is more willing to take risks because there's nothing left to go to, to explore. And they're willing to take the risk of delving into the unknown; the only way to find out what's really going on there is to, well, go there. The probes aren't equipped for such intricate observation. With a habitable planet, a new world on which people can theorhetically live on... well, that's splendid! Let's send some colonists to it along with our science package.

>>15241951524195 Genetically-modified ecologies within the humans are all they've got, a limited defense. There will likely be some situation in which this bites them in the butt later. Magical bacteria would be downright nasty!

Thanks a lot for your insight. I hope you're enjoying the story. Sorry for the double reply.

Wow, this is incredibly well written, will definitly be reading the rest of this one

The one major logical discontinuity to me is that a probe wasn't sent first to scout the planet.  It seems rather foolhardy to send a full colony ship while knowing nothing about the planet other than its apparent habitability.  How urgent is this colonization effort?  It cannot be all that urgent else a ship or fleet of ships would have been sent with a large portion of the population... akin to the fleet in "Trigun", which was sent due to fears the Earth would soon be uninhabitable.

It seems very odd to do things in this manner and risk open confrontation with any intelligent alien life.  There's no way to know if communications are even possible in a reasonable amount of time.  And given obviously unnatural star system, it is quite reasonable to assume the aliens' possess vast power, more than enough to throw a star around!

Such aliens would necessarily be approached with extreme caution and diplomacy.  Showing up with an armed colony vessel could easily be seen as an open act of invasion... and be destroyed in an instant.

>>15243721524372 ...With comparatively-measly weapons. And if there were any hostile aliens, why hadn't they destroyed the probe, which had passed rather close to the planet to take its readings? Ah, but we could swap points forever, couldn't we? So I'll confess; artistic license and rushed writing are two things this story has in spades. I wanted to make it work like I wanted it to. The probe had passed rather close to the planet and taken readings. So, you've got me. You've untangled the knot and solved the puzzle. Oh, and who knows if the guns are concealed or not?

Anyway, your picking is appreciated and taken into account for later installments. Thank you very, very much, and I hope you're otherwise enjoying the story as it is so far.

Celestia disembarked from the chariot and spoke in a deep, droning voice, "Twiiiiiiliiiiiight!  There are a group of albino Nameks behind you!!"

>>15244661524466 OH GOD!! Best. Reference. EVER!! That comment gets 5 out of 5 moustaches

"and as soon as the white horse with wings and horn started speaking, the Daleks showed up, screaming, 'Exterminate! Exterminate!' "

>>15247111524711 And the Doctor defeated them by throwing pears at their eyestalks, leading the Daleks to scream in confusion, "I CANNOT SEE!!  MY VISION IN IM-PEAR-ED!!!"  

This story is shaping up to be one of my favorite fic ever, the reactions of the humans seems very real and the MLP cast's response is completely in character.  High quality stuff, thumbs up favorited and watched, cant wait to see what happens next :

I like it so far

>>14459561445956

I haven't taken any education in hard science subjects (I'm in tenth grade), yet I'm trying to write a semi-hard science fiction story.

The two big bits of advice I can give you are:

Research is your friend

and

Don't be afraid to ask people questions, either open ones in places like the comments or an author's note or directed ones once you build up some contacts with people who know more than you do.

One thing to consider is that they would need to check to see if they can eat the food.  Not just the way you would with a new plant on Earth, but also to see if the underlying biochemistry allows for it.  While the odds of the biochemistry relying on something other than sugars and amino acids are small[0], both of those are chiral[1] and if you try and eat food with the wrong chirality you can't use the sugars and the amino acids are highly toxic.

[0] From what we can tell, _not_ having them show up in a primordial soup is next to impossible.

[1] The molecules are not identical to their mirror images, look at your hands to see how this works.

moar plz

>>15253261525326 I've got the food situation figured out in my head, I know all 'bout that stuff. (Pssst, the humans brought super corn!)

...Okay, well, I don't, but I've played Mass Effect, which talks about that enough so that I understand the gist of it. Oh, and yeah, the biology of my work isn't made to stand up to the real thing. As the description says, this story contains soft sci-fi elements as well as hard ones.

...Though my hard ones are kinda turning into soft ones as people debunk them, which is just fine. I'll just try to be consistent.

Hope you like the story, it's a pleasure to write this, especially for an audience. Thank you.

>>15254361525436

Yes being consistent is more important that being correct, being correct is just one of the more effective ways to be consistent.

One trick to remember is that being vague can let you avoid getting things wrong, or mask that it is wrong.  "We ran it through the HPLC and found some unexpected components," pretty much can't be wrong, (unless it's something you couldn't run through an HPLC).

To give you something of a nit-pick:  High explosive rounds are basically useless in space combat.  If you can get them close enough to do anything, you can get direct hits.  With direct hits you can take advantage of the First Law of Space Combat, "anything moving at 3km/s packs its own weight in blam."  The only thing their HE rounds would be good for is orbital bombardment.

So, first of, this fic is doing great so far. I absolutely love the work so far, and hope to see more of it in the future.

Also, [this] was my listening track fro this chapter, and I will be sending you the listening track for each chapter as I make it.

Ah, I love High quality HiE stories like this.

It's like alien first contact except we get to see the contact from the eyes of both aliens, and we KNOW both of the very well!

>>15255681525568 Uh, huh, yep.

Okay, HE will be changed to solid slug. Keeping the nuclear. Good idear. And, seeing as though they aren't conventional weapons and closer to railguns, yes, and since everyone knows that Sir Isaac Newton is the deadliest son of a bitch in space, this makes total sense to me. Thanks.

I have one request: More.

Aw yeah, I love this type of story.

I like the human characters you've written, and your interpretation of Twilight, Pinkie, and Flutters.

>>15264561526456

If you are going to write more space based stories, this site should be in your bookmarks:

Atomic Rockets

Okay, why the heck wan't the survey crew observing full biohazard precautions?

Fully sealed suits, with positive pressure, untill everything has been cleared.  Are the entire crew idiots?

For that matter, why not jump straight into contact?  No need to skulk around doing surveys in the dead of night.

>>15264561526456

Did you know that nukes are nearly worthless in space?

Also, things like math (especially primes, e, pi, and the Fibbonacci sequence) and science (say, the periodic table) are universal constants, and easily recognized by any civilization which has discovered them.  Those will probably form the basis of the lexicon to start with.

>>15285431528543 Yeah, I did (and evidently forgot) but nukes are useful for blasting at lower yield than the primary round, I suppose. (But, yeah, you're right. The reason for there being nuclear rounds I will get to later, but their inclusion in the first place was, indeed, silly and kind of added on a whim. "Why not nukes?")

I was planning math to be part of the equation (sorry, that was lame. Extremely lame) for communications somehow. It's a wonder that the ponies use base-ten; you'd think they'd use something else. Regardless, that aspect will probably aid in the task.

Oh, and the crew isn't idiots, the writer's the idiot, here. As for not jumping into contact, they'll want to know something about the life here before making contact with its intelligent counterparts. It's all in the name of caution (a major part of which I have apparently skipped out on to fulfill my own purposes, like a fool. The amount of artistic liberties I've taken are inexcusably numerous, I know).

Thank you. A good analysis that exposes weaknesses in the story's integrity is worth a hundred times a comment asking for more does. I just hope you're enjoying the story in spite of how I've botched a few things.

>>15278901527890 That's neat, thanks.

>>15286011528601

I really do enjoy fics such as this, and hope to see more from you.

>>15289641528964 And I thank you for your analysis, as well as that of >>15278901527890 and >>15243721524372.

>>15273421527342 You and me, both. >>15248541524854 I'd been wondering if I had the characterization just right. Looks like I did okay.

>>15263331526333 High quality?

Welp, if it goes HORRIBLY WRONG, they can always just make a Shock and Awe.... Blow up a mountain or two.

Remember rule Infinity: Always have a PLAN B

With Article 2 taking so long to get started back up again..this is quite the reasonable replacement...Its like...Article 2: Now with more humans!...and I do mean that in the best of ways...Do go on, I'm hooked...

Gah, I'm caught up! Why can't the good fics all already be finished by the time I find them!?

>>15298881529888 Because they're hard to find, and fade into memory, especially if they don't make the cut to EQD or somesuch.

I would have seriously preferred if you didn't just go 'yay we're here oh look suddenly ponies'

>>15298961529896

I actually stopped paying much attention to EQD's posted fanfics a good while back. I've seen too many amazing fics get posted there and still go way under appreciated, like The Age of Wings and Steel. I find most of my fanfics entirely through FimFiction these days.

>>15261221526122 I've recently taken a liking to this artist going by the handle of Aspect of the Storm. [1] and [2].

>>15300001530000 Yeah, me too; I mostly go there to skim news and drawfriends for a dose of d'aww and such. Though, I hardly ever read fanfics anymore, which is weird. considering my hobby, the fruits of which are visible here.

>>15299721529972 Were you expecting something else? It'd be a neat trick to pull, to have them land in zebra lands or something, but I'm no trickster. Space to ponies in seven thousand words. I could've paced it worse.

>>15285431528543

Not quite, a standard 1Mt nuke will do quite a bit of damage even from a fair distance away, (although not as far as they do in an atmosphere).  Furthermore, nukes being deployed for use in space are likely going to be nuclear shaped charges or even Casaba-Howitzer type weapons, (both of which extend the distance they can cause effective damage).

That's just the physical damage, in space they also have much stronger radiation effects because the X-ray pulse is not absorbed by the atmosphere.

>>15309921530992

True.  A nuke going off in contact with a ship will probably kill it.  Against a big chunk of rock, not so much.

>>15310891531089

The problem with attacking a big chunk of rock is similar to the one where you are attacking an iceberg:  It doesn't care about damage, only its overall structural integrity.  Setting a nuke off next to an asteroid might boil off a few mm of its surface, leaving you with a slightly smaller rock.  Setting it off next to a spacecraft would also boil off a few mm, wrecking all sorts of systems.

>>15315321531532 External sensors and weapons would be put out of action, irradiating and perhaps breaching the hull, complicating repairs... and that's without the EM burst associated with the usage of such devices, which could easily and swiftly disable many more systems, if not all of them, depending on the electonics' shielding quality. The nukes are clearly not for terrestrial bombardment or anti-asteroid purposes; that's what the regular rounds are for. When you're venturing into the unknown, you don't want to be unprepared for what could be out there... so you bring something that can really lay down the hurt against something that isn't just an inert chunk of rock--but can also tackle those--and have a healthy amount of them on your ship. (In my head, each colony module and the command module has one cannon, meaning the ship has eight guns. The colony modules will be able to use them from the surface when they land.)

However, given the unlikelihood of any party engaging in ship-to-ship combat in this story, Eclipse is extremely unlikely to ever need those particular rounds. The regular ones, though... heheh.

>>15316361531636

Actually, the EMP of a nuke in open space isn't that big.  The famous one you hear about, (High altitude EMP), only works in the upper atmosphere of a planet that also has a strong magnetic field.

In deep space you only have System Generated EMP, which is much weaker.

>>15317201531720 Yes, the translation from atmosphere to no atmosphere is really the difference between terrestrial and space combat. In atmosphere, you've got more or less pressure waves, burning, shockwave medium and mitigation, air resistance, electrical resistance, the prospect of vacuum... it's just different. The closest we've got today is submarine warfare, which is, in a few ways, completely opposite.

>>15319591531959

Actually, submarine warfare is a terrible analogy to space warfare.

The central element of submarine warfare is stealth and there ain't no stealth in space.

How long do you think it will take you to complete the next chapter?

You have me so hooked!

>>15320711532071 It's similar in that it's unlike most any other type of warfare, was what I was getting at. Some things that would work on land, in the air or above water don't under it, for obvious reasons. It's similar in that holes need to be patched quickly, life support systems of some sort are often required (air tanks, etc.), everything has to be reinforced and built tough to withstand pressure if it's a deep diver (which is kind of like how space ships are shielded against radiation). It's not so much combat that's similar, it's the special provisions associated with the environments in which starships and submarines operate, but it's much more extreme in the former case, as you can't just bring your spaceship up to repair it. But, then again, I'm crazy.

>>15321201532120 Ahhh... I haven't started on that. Probably will soon. I wouldn't expect it for another week or so, though; I'm not very fast.

This has only just started, yet I'm inexplicably hooked. More is demanded!

You used the term 'petrified' once and then decide to use 'stoned' instead. Why? Stoned means to be pummelled by stones and petrified means to be turned to stone.

>>15398961539896 I've heard the terms used interchangably. Stoned also means 'of stone', and, in this context, synonymous with petrified.

I don't think that the Humans would come to the conclusion that the sun orbits the planet. You can define an objects orbit relative to another, this is what humans did when we thought the earth was the center of the universe. The moon had circular orbit around the earth, because it does orbit the earth.  And the sun, from the viewpoint of the earth, had a circular orbit around the earth as well. Nothing else had nice circular orbits, but their orbits relative to the earth could be calculated, and the calculations were accurate. Never mind that the orbits were completely schizophrenic, the calculations were accurate so they must be right! We now know this is wrong. We know about gravity and how objects of smaller mass orbit objects of larger mass. But if we do define the less massive object as being stationary, the object that it actually orbits will have a circular orbit relative to it.

This brings us to the system in the story. It appears to be a 3 body system. The sun, the planet, and the planet's moon. Even if the sun did orbit the planet, humanity would still assume the sun to be the center of the system and define the orbit of the planet around it, and it would be a circular orbit to. There is no way to tell the difference between the sun orbiting the planet and the planet orbiting the sun. (That I know of, I could be wrong.)

>>15405891540589 I don't know either; I could be wrong as well. By this story's setting in time, I believe that through relative observations the humans would be able to discern which object orbits the other, which, in this case, doesn't make a lick of sense, obviously.

>>15407581540758 It could be that the planet is orbiting too fast or too slow for it's mass and distance from the sun, but humanity wouldn't say that the sun orbits the planet. I think the best thing you could come up with is to have the mun be larger than the planet, but still orbit the planet and not the other way around like they would expect.

>>15407581540758>>15408071540807

actually, from a "stationary' point outside the system (say, from earth) teh star would appear to move back and forth, while the planet is moving a straight line from galactic center, with the other associated factors (such as galactic spin, universal expansion or shrinkage,  etc)

As such, it would be obvious that's orbiting something, and action that most stars that aren't near black holes or larger stars do, and both phenomena would've been visible from anything reliable enough to get the information required to authorize a colonization mission.

This is fun. Wonder what celestia will make of them.