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IncoherentOrange

Joined March 2012
196 followers

Stories (4)

  • Eclipse
    A human colony vessel is sent to Equestria, and does not expect sapient inhabitants.

    24,254 words · 8,093 views · 874 likes · 24 dislikes
  • Warhammer 40000: Imperial Guardspony
    After an Adeptus Mechanicus vessel makes contact, Equestrian unicorns join forces with the Imperium.
    16,509 words · 1,356 views · 52 likes · 2 dislikes
  • Dropping In: Trans-Universal Recovery Team
    After the brony and the Mane Six save the universe, loose ends need to be tied up in other universes
    46,477 words · 1,185 views · 40 likes · 1 dislikes
  • Dropping In
    A teenage brony is called upon to save the universe in what is a highly clichéd turn of events. Of course, the predictable occurs and an adventure begins.
    30,374 words · 1,848 views · 52 likes · 3 dislikes

Blog Posts (46)


Humanity has grown to control most of the Sol system, and looks to distant stars for further expansion options. When probes discover an uncannily-earthlike planet at a vast distance, the Solar Government takes on a project larger than any before it.

A colony ship, carrying over seven thousand people, the Eclipse is constructed. Thanks to its translight engine, it is capable of making the journey within two decades. The expedition is launched with high hopes, its crew made up of the best and brightest, setting out to prove that the vastness of space was no longer an insurmountable obstacle, that landing on distant worlds full of life was no longer just a pipe dream.

What happens when this colony ship's crew arrives at their destination would forever change humanity's outlook on the rest of the universe, as well as what could be deemed possible. Supernatural beings, energies unexplainable, and most importantly, sapient organisms all populate this mysterious, fertile world. In all of its extensive preparations, is the Eclipse versatile enough to tackle the task assigned to it? Or, more importantly, is its crew?

Featured on Equestria Daily 1/1/2013.

Pre-read by Stringtheory and Milo. Proofread by Erumpet and Demetrius. Thanks! Contains some hard and some soft sci-fi elements.

First Published
12th Oct 2012
Last Modified
20th Jan 2013

Comments ( 399 )

#1 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 4d ago · 3 · 27 ·

I don't read fics with the human tag, but have a like for your trouble. :twilightsmile:

#2 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 3d ago · · ·

Moooore~:pinkiegasp:

#3 · Chapter 1 · 92w, 3d ago · 2 · ·

SPESS MEHRENS!

#4 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 3d ago · · ·

This story is very good, can't wait for the next chapter. :twilightsmile:

#5 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 3d ago · · ·

Okay I like it. It's pretty much how a colony team would react and have the same procedures. Also their reactions to everything. Though it seems a bit rushed. That's something to work on but not a glaring or obvious problem.

#6 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1432220 I'm working on improving my pacing, to know I can still use improvement helps, thanks! I was trying to be as realistic as possible with the colonists' procedures and reactions. Looks like it worked just fine.

>>1430752 >>1430482 I'm glad you like it. There will be more.

#7 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 3d ago · · ·

Lolol, they got poison joke'd.

I thought that when someone turns to stone it is just like a sheet over them that magically makes them inert until it is removed.

#8 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1433082 The cockatrice's abilities are not really explained, are they? The only info we have on it is that it is curable by the cockatrice and not (immediately, at least) deadly. One could also infer that it does not hurt, as Fluttershy does not appear to flinch when the spell begins to take hold of her in that episode. In this case, I'm assuming a complete magical conversion into a form of stone, as when Twilight is tipped over while under the influence of the spell, she left a substantial dent, didn't she? Or am I remembering that wrong?

Mythologically, though, the cockatrice and basilisk (depending on their respective versions, death/stoning glance, et cetera) can consume their victims as stone. At least, the basilisk can.

#9 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1433189 Huh.

Another theory I thought of is do you want to kill the cockatrice if half of you is already stone?

#11 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 3d ago · · ·

Fucking... GENIUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!!!!

#12 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 3d ago · · ·

All I can say is that this is going to be a very good story ^^, Definatly deserving of both a fav and like

#13 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1435084 I try. :twilightsmile: I didn't know this would be so well-received, though. Quite happy about it. There is more coming, probably in three to four days.

#14 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 3d ago · · ·

I would have used Killian as a scout, in his current condition- just saying.

#15 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1435307 He cannot speak the language and doesn't have much of an idea how to act around other ponies. Even then, a pony from every other pony would probably attract some suspicion. Besides, the Skipper doesn't want to take unnecessarily risky actions, remember? He doesn't want anyone else to end up like Powell, or worse. Going off alone with no equipment--as to remain inconspicuous--would be a risky thing to order a man just turned pony, with no experience in being or acting like one, to do. A reasonable idea, though.

Thanks for the feedback, I hope you're enjoying the story so far. :twilightsmile:

#16 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1435405

Good point.

#17 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 2d ago · · ·

The "spacefaring-humans-and-their-technology-meeting-ponies" stories  have to be my absolute favorites on fimfiction, and you sir are doing an exellent job. Keep up the great work! :pinkiesmile:

#18 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 2d ago · · ·

Definitely sold on this story.:pinkiehappy:

Moar please.:pinkiehappy:

#19 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1433257

This......

Also ALLOFMYYES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!   :flutterrage:

#20 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 2d ago · · ·

Looking promising so far.

#21 · Chapter 1 · 92w, 1d ago · · ·

YES this looks good....

continue

#22 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 1d ago · · ·

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQE2OhHAUWATVO6s55UMlER1SFkewLWgg3jAofVAxxXFQ4WO5IQMA

#23 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 1d ago · · ·

that did not work

#24 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 1d ago · · ·

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQE2OhHAUWATVO6s55UMlER1SFkewLWgg3jAofVAxxXFQ4WO5IQMA

#25 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1442111 Add '[img]' to the front of the URL, and '/img', (in brackets). It should work.

#27 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1442296 thanks for the help

#28 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 1d ago · · ·

Too bad Stephen Halking  couldent live to see that planet :pinkiecrazy:

#29 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 1d ago · 4 · ·

My only complaint is that everyone is jumping to the "magic" conclusion way too quickly. These are scientists and tech-experts in a setting where science has somehow overcome the problem of FTL travel; even if the answer IS magic, it should be taking them a lot longer to think this isn't just something weird that they can't detect (and it would be completely reasonable to believe that there is some special class of particles responsible for the weirdness here that their sensors cannot detect). Also I'm going to be annoyed if this ends up with all of them turning into ponies; it makes perfect sense as a prank the Poison Joke would pull, but turning all the humans in a story into ponies when they reach Equestria bugs me.

I liked the response to the Cockatrice encounter; that's the kind of "hitch" that prompts immediate retreat and re-evaluation of the situation. They do seem to be jumping to the "contact the locals" step faster than feels right but it's hard to argue against moving the plot along, and it's reasonable considering that's their only lead on curing their afflictions.

#30 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1445794 First bit: Yes, they are. Though, remember, Killian isn't a scientist; he's a navigator and security officer, a mathematical genius maybe, but not a scientist like Kathy is. Do not worry about ponification occuring on a wide scale, or likely at all again. It only happened to Killian because, well, he's an alien and thinks something is weird about this place, so BAM, now he's a native, and it's irony, as you see. His sanity isn't exactly at its peak, either. Who else is jumping to the magic conclusion? Kathy's still puzzled about it all, and suspects some sort of rule-violation on the part of this entire star system, and the Skipper is concerned about poor Powell. If they assume he's alive, he'll die of some thing or another rather shortly, because of dehydration or something. If they assume he's dead--which the Skipper does not want to do--then the natives would likely know how to deal with cockatrice encounters, and may pass off experience, which could be invaluable in further encounters. (Speaking of which, what do ponies usually do to handle cockatrices? Only one pony we know of can solidly counter one; Fluttershy. Guess I've got to figure that out myself! I'll try to make it interesting.) Oh, yes, FTL travel... can't explain that, it's an instrument for the plot, I'd admit.

At this point, even more natural forces will be quantified, identified, isolated, and, most importantly, understood by mankind. They might think they know all there is to know, all that can be; their Standard Model may be more complete by now, or something. To them, there might not be a concept of a 'magic particle'. I mean, we just observed the Higgs-boson particle ourselves, a mystery that's puzzled scientists for years. This story takes place an undefined amount of time into the future.

Second: Yup, that event's purpose in a nutshell. The resolution to contact the locals draws from what I said above, about Powell. Besides, they don't seem hostile or very well advanced, and they can't just ignore the local civilization forever; they're eventually going to want to land their colony modules. Has to happen sometime.

I haven't taken any education in hard science subjects (I'm in tenth grade), yet I'm trying to write a semi-hard science fiction story. Can't be perfect, heh. Thanks a lot for your feedback, it delights me when deeper analysis is given than just 'Moar!'. Hope you're enjoying it.

#31 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 1d ago · · ·

I think the pony solution is to not encounter them. Im sure Zecora knows an antidote, and the Alicorns can presumably cure it since petrification is a valid punishment. Twilight could probably undo it after a little study, too.

#32 · Chapter 1 · 92w, 12h ago · · ·

This aint bad orange. Not at all.

#33 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 11h ago · · ·

Well orange. I think I have decent response for your Killian magic situation . Rather than have his say "this must be magic" have him say "what is this then? Magic?"

#34 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 6h ago · · ·

>>1450142 Good thinkin', thanks.

#35 · Chapter 2 · 92w, 5h ago · · ·

http://youtu.be/TEVnGZZX9LA

#36 · Chapter 2 · 91w, 6d ago · · ·

I like it! Have a fave and thumbs up!

Space opera and ponies are always a winning combination.

I'm confused, even if the scans show that air is breathable, shouldn't they wear some sort of protective gear in case of exposure to microbes?

#37 · Chapter 2 · 91w, 6d ago · · ·

...dome-like helmets with air filters and built-in lights.

>>1455928 They are. Not full-body or sealed, but yes, they breathe filtered air while on the surface. Note what Powell says about wondering what the air smells like.

#38 · Chapter 2 · 91w, 4d ago · · ·

I want more of this story. it is good.

It makes Fluttershy Happy.

#39 · Chapter 3 · 90w, 2d ago · · ·

Longest chapter I've put out, ever. Hope y'all like it. I apologize for making you wait so long, I hope I can put out the next one faster.

Edit: This chapter has been changed! A scene has been removed.

#40 · Chapter 3 · 90w, 2d ago · · ·

Finaly contact and now come sthe worst part... witing for the next chaper =/

#41 · Chapter 3 · 90w, 2d ago · · ·

First time commenting on Fimfiction :D

This is getting so damn exciting >.< I sure hope the ponies see how powerful the humans are without becoming enemies. I'd love to "see" their reaction!

Keep the awesome chapters coming!!! ^^

#42 · Chapter 3 · 90w, 2d ago · · ·

Good work :twilightsmile:

#43 · Chapter 1 · 90w, 2d ago · · ·

C-40 assault rifles?  I rather like what that implies, hopefully these folks will do the maple leaf proud.

#44 · Chapter 3 · 90w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1524049 Hmhmhm, yes, indeed. It's intended as both that sort of allusion and a Starcraft reference. (C- is a commonly-used designation for infantry rifle.)

#45 · Chapter 3 · 90w, 2d ago · · ·

Indeed, the most stressful part is waiting for the next chapter.

#46 · Chapter 1 · 90w, 2d ago · 4 · ·

One little problem early on:  "Orbit path is clear. That star is... orbiting around the planet, as I've got it here. Looks like those kooky theories were correct after all. One natural satellite, as probe telemetry has already told us. No other planets, as we already know... oh, preliminary geographical analysis coming in. Three continents, one bigger than the others. Eighty-one percent water coverage, one hundred and one point six percent Earth gravity."

The star is orbiting the planet.  They know this, they know it should be utterly impossible by all known laws of physics.  And then, when they confirm the planet's gravity is only barely higher than Earth's, they should be VERY concerned about what the hell is going on.  Any scientist would be stunned to disbelief at such an impossible system and immediately realize that a power, whether of exceedingly advanced technology or otherwise, beyond human comprehension must be at work.

I know, because I am a scientist.  And the Equestrian system would be approached with extreme caution had I anything to do with the mission, if at all, until we knew exactly what we were dealing with.  

#47 · Chapter 3 · 90w, 2d ago · · ·

This is gonna be good.

Let's hope first contact goes well!

By the way, what are your influences.

#48 · Chapter 1 · 90w, 2d ago · 3 · ·

>>>Alien viruses and bacteria. Human immune systems were completely unprepared to deal with such things, should they find humans to be valid targets, which was unlikely, but possible.>>>

For viruses, yes, VERY unlikely.  Viruses need to have surface receptors which are perfect binding matches to their hosts.  The odds of alien viruses finding a match to our cell surface proteins (and vice versa with our viruses) is extremely low.

Bacteria, on the other hoof, would be DEVASTATING!!  And interestingly, it would not be the normal infections.  Parasitic bacteria such as Mycobacterium and Shigella wouldn't likely pass to alien hosts, as they too rely on surface receptor matches.  The normal bacteria and fungi we all carry and those harmless to the alien life would find our organic matter an easy target if they used similar amino acids, sugars, lipids, and/or nucleic acids.  It is highly likely carbon-based life will have striking biochemical similarities no matter where it arises for the simple reason that reaction energy gradients are the same everywhere in the universe.  And as we see from spectroscopic analysis of nebulae, the same simple carbon compounds are ubiquitous.  Many species are highly opportunistic, and would easily invade our bodies and multiply rapidly before our immune system could recognize them as invaders and develop a response.  Microorganisms with thick cell walls would be the most dangerous, as our immune system has even a tough time dealing with terrestrial infections from such organisms.

#50 · Chapter 3 · 90w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1524163 Rendezvous With Rama by Arthur C. Clarke is significant, but no other ones really stand out.

>>1524134 They'd already known that and been boggled for years trying to explain it. It took many years to relay the probe telemetry back to Earth, and many more years to build Eclipse, as you may infer. The ship's prepared for most anything that could be prepared for, and can go back if the situation warrants, and with an engine as powerful as theirs, they'd be outta there some quick if things got hairy. In my head, the mindset of humanity is more willing to take risks because there's nothing left to go to, to explore. And they're willing to take the risk of delving into the unknown; the only way to find out what's really going on there is to, well, go there. The probes aren't equipped for such intricate observation. With a habitable planet, a new world on which people can theoretically live on... well, that's splendid! Let's send some colonists to it along with our science package.

>>1524195 Genetically-modified ecologies within the humans are all they've got, a limited defense. There will likely be some situation in which this bites them in the butt later. Magical bacteria would be downright nasty!

Thanks a lot for your insight. I hope you're enjoying the story. Sorry for the double reply.

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