And thus begins one of the most unique HiE fics yet.

As they say, Tracking like the Firey Hoof of an Angry Sun Goddess.

Yeah, this is going to be good.

Indeed, a well- written epistolary fic.

Very good so far, very good. I shall definitely track your story: I'm always interested in first contact scenarios written the right way.

Only thing I could find wrong was you forgot to uppercase a mention of the "Raven". In the paragraph above the last picture you used. Nothing major.

NEED... MORE... EPISODES!!!!!

I like it. I like it a lot.

Excellent story, this is so getting tracked. Interesting take, and I'm really liking how you're building up the interaction rather than just having them speak Human right from the start.

Looking forward to seeing the reactions to other sapients like griffons or cows, especially after the exchanges of food. And now we get so see how Rarity responds to the flight suit.

Great story, looking forward to more!

ME GUSTA

this is gunna be sooooo goood.

You play Orbiter! I love DanSteph's addons!

What's this? A Human in Equestria story that actually has interesting interaction between characters and point of view of the human character? Really, this was a very entertaining read and the manner in which they first attempt to communicate was very clever. What makes this so different from the other Human in Equestria stories is that you actually know how to pace the story.

It's a slow but enjoyable build up with the characters. I can't believe it, but I'm going to track a Human in Equestria story.

Keep up the good work.

FYI, first comment on this site.

I have to say I'm liking this so far. Twilight being First Contact Pony makes a lot of sense - especially since I suspect the unseen observer is Luna.

I also think our unnamed protagonist is handling the whole thing pretty well. I'd be amused to see the scientific communities reaction...

"Sapient, you say?"

"Yes."

"Civilised?"

"Well they've got agriculture, buildings, businesses and a managed environment, so yes."

"And... intelligent?"

"I think this one would give you a run for your money..."

>>278261278261

Of course they don't.  Why do you think the scientific community went HAYwire?

>>278160278160

My reaction upon seeing the UCGO Arrow freighter in the opening pic:

Followed by

AdmiralTigerClaw is an Orbiter fan! Now I've got to read this.

I have to say, i make a point to avoid "Human in Equestria" fics, but this is absolutely golden, loving every second

I'm really enjoying this so far.

Oh my god, this is simply fantastic. Tracked harder than I have ever tracked a story before.

Most interesting HiE fic ever. Good job so far on the 'different languages' path. It's a really good plot  device.

I really like the pointing out of the sun-moon cycle.

>>278261278261

    Cant tell if troll,

    Or just ignorant.

AdmiralTigerClaw, you have once again captured my attention.  *tracked and thumbs up*  

This is quite a different take than any HiE fics that I have read so far.  Almost refreshing in a way.  And because of that I find myself wanting more.  Well done sir.  Well done.  

Keep up the excellent work!

Haven't read a Human in Equestria fic this good since Thessalonica Legacy. Really well done. Poor unnamed protagonist having to do a mission designed for 30 people all alone. I like the more sci-fi approach to reaching Equestria and how it is Celestia and Luna manipulating the sun/moon respectively that got humans attention.

>>278477278477 or maybe commented on the description before the chapter, thinking it was a typo

... can't tell if mule,

or just mule.

this  is wonderful MORE MORE! '

i love the fact that this is a HIE story that does not have the human be a brony.  the entire slow  buildup, the  slow scientifc methodology employed by the narrator. the fact that they do NOT share a common language. the  scientific puzzlement at a geocentric solar system, this warms the cockles of my science loving heart. please MORE

( i also love how Luna is just  creeping about, nice touch)

>>278510278510

If you cant tell if I'm a mule or not you have other problems.

Besides that, I always like HIE taking a more scientific approach to the troupe. And this is no exception, and despite that you still find a refreshingly different approach to getting to Equetria. Using the journal entries to tell the story works well, in how it is done here. Characterization is spot on, and I cant wait to read more.

P.S Luna is a creeper.

            Din

Like this one a lot. Nice approach on the subject and I like the logbook style. Have been thinking about how to pull that off for a HiE fic myself.

I usually dislike HiE fics, but this one is tracked!

Found a minor error: "I returned to my spot to continue observations a little more discretely" It should be discreetly, not discretely.

>> AdmiralTigerclaw

Alright, I said I'd read it and I have.

Wow. I've read a lot of space-opera-style fanfics, but yours is the first I've come across that felt like real Science Fiction. My inner scientist/engineer was squealing like a schoolfilly the whole time! I love how this first contact situation wasn't resolved in thirty seconds by either the local ponies speaking English or Twilight (or the princesses) pulling a Universal Translator spell out of nowhere. Not that I have anything against those tropes, but this was a wonderful change of pace.

I have to say I am -very- jealous of your protagonist. He gets to fly a DanSteph Arrow freighter to a freaky rule-breaking solar system, cruise over Equestria in an XR2, has a Sagan-esque first-contact with Twilight... yeah.

Overall, I really like the style (logbook, very appropriate) and pacing you've got going here. Aside from some minor grammatical goof-ups (of the kind that everybody makes) this story has a lot going for it. Consider it tracked! I'll be anxiously awaiting the next chapters.

I.. I believe that I actually love this fic. It's the best take on HiE I've seen yet, and I don't usually even like HiE fics. I think the main selling point is the fact that there's no fourth wall to be broken, and that the language barrier is portrayed realistically.

I am very, very eager to see this update. Great job!

This is very interesting. I am looking forward to seeing more!

FOR THE LOVE OF CELESTIA!

Image: https://encrypted-tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRKmyLXr6go9DEL-lz4NkYRNMPn-Tj-OGJT3SHyXz6o3a-KhIONzQ

About time there's a HiE story that human isn't a brony and/or trying to get away from the crule wrold by being "magically" teleported to Equestria. And they're interacting differently than just by simply speaking English. Keep up the good work!

This is very much an interesting idea of a story, and one I'll very much track and read. Well done so far, my man!

LOL, I like it. Will track and hope for updates.

Wonder how Apple Jack and Fluttershy will react when they finally meet him.

Language barriers are certainly interesting parts of HiE stories, and this one is a new take indeed - and very well executed. Some small spots of editing need doing, but mistakes are only minor. This is truly a fantastic piece of work, and I'm waiting for the next chapter quite anxiously!

The pictures are annoying, do not like.

This a very nice HiE story! I can't wait to see the next one! *Tracked and thumbs up*

Very interesting start, definitely be tracking. About ten minutes after I finished reading the second chapter, I finally figured out who was watching the protagonist. (Felt like a total idiot afterward)

This is awesome.

Keep going.

I am so far beyond looking forward to the next chapter. I'm jumping up and down, and tripping over horse-apples waiting for the next chapter!

Absolutely astounding. You really have hit the nail on the head with this. I've never read such a good first-contact HiE fic before. Bravo good sir, keep at it.

I like it!

>>278840278840 Just to be clear it is the -pictures- I do not like in the fic.

The fic itself is one of the better ones I have read on here ever.

I hope to see more of this.^_^

One small mistake: "Tomorrow" is spelt "Tomarrow" at one point.

As someone who has been subjects to my friends arguing over the complexities of spaceflight, I am in love with this fic.

I expect more in the future.

Is anyone else getting the vibe that this thing that's stalking him is actually Luna?

MOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!

I was skeptical of this fic, but I'm really happy I gave it a shot. I wonder how you will go about with dialogue once Twlight learns English.

Very good, love how this plays out. Keep it up!!!

or i will cry

like a women on her monthly

.....

moor! ..... plz

This is a great story. Please keep it up. I would give constructive criticisms, but I just can't find anything wrong with it. I didn't even notice any (unintentional) grammar mistakes (though that's not saying much. I'm a terrible proofreader).

good sory bro

Very good! It's very different from most fics i've read, and i can't wait to read more!

Holy... Do you realize what you have done? you have written a very good original HiE fic! These are few and far between, and right now yours is at the top of the popular stories. Now you will get hordes of fic reading zombies demanding moar. Not that I would do... that...

MOOOOOAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

MOAR

Great googly moogly, this is a heck of a fic.

TRACK IT, ENSIGN!

YES SIR.

I think that this is going to be fantastic, and I cannot wait for more.

You had me hooked about the first paragraph in, by the end of the second page I needed more.

Good job! And tracking.

"Tomarrow I’ll chance exploring." - Tomorrow

"August 1rst, 2257" - 1rst?

"I started Identifying more items" - Capital letter

Great story so far

This is AWESOME!!!! Like everyone else has said, this is a new take on the HiE types of storys. TRACKED!

This and Article 2 are the best HIE Fic's i have ever read

Mostly because they fall into the SCI-FI/Fantasy genre, and they do it well!

Being randomly teleported into Equestria is a bad plot device (Pun Not Intended)

Image: http://assets.diylol.com/hfs/4a0/341/1bb/resized/pinkie-pie-smile-meme-generator-mooooooore-d-24fb27.jpg

"Her in particular seemed to be a series of ‘twinkle’-like shapes." - Did you mean Hers?

"She, was one of the ‘normal’ types" - Why is there a comma here?

"When the multifunction displays came on, he eyes got bigger" - Did you mean her?

>>278160278160 >>278273278273 What is Orbiter?

I LOVE IT SO MUCH. MORE PLEASE.

Wow, this is awesome.My favorite parts so far are Twilight giving the pilot medicine and Dash's interactions. Keep writing! This is really well done.  

I like the direction you've taken with this.  Definitely awesome.

Well, this is without a doubt fascinating. I am going to truly look forward to future chapters. faved and tracking my good sir.

It should be interesting to see how things in first contact actually go. For one, i have to wonder if when they speak, he'll be able to understand it, or if he'll need some sort of translator. There's also the fact of learning why exactly the Sun and Moon act as they do, which in itself should be fun.

>>278261278261

Isn't it obvious? He went with the literal interpretation of Celestia and Luna's powers.

I'm tempted to try and in the future write a science fictiony HiE story now.

This story is consummately entertaining.  Once you overlook the admittedly ludicrous premise of sending someone on such a long mission by themselves, everything is proceeding logically.  Thank you for not equating Equestrian with English - that particular suspension of disbelief is almost as annoying as it is necessary, what with the ubiquity of that device.

Well, now he's met or at least seen the entire Mane Six.  And, almost certainly Luna's mane, and Zecora, she of the yellow eyes.  At least, when they're glowing in the darkness.  I don't know of anything else in the Forest with yellow eyes, except maybe timber wolves?  I wonder how hard it was to convince Pinkie not to throw him a party.  Maybe they deferred it until his second visit into town?

Is our friendly resident alien broadcasting at all back to Earth?  You know they would insist, especially with a mission fraught with so much danger and scientific interest.

I'll be waiting for him to meet the Princesses and through their Alicorn magic be able to converse with them, if no one else.  I imagine there's no such thing at this juncture as a universal translation spell.  Its only use would be to get zebras to stop speaking in rhyme.

Tracked like nopony's Luna-damned business.

Rarity going all at his outfit was just hilarious as it gets.

... Oh my Celestia... what if there was some historical record of MLP:FiM?

I can't wait for RD to show him the sonic rainboom.  

>>279740279740

Orbiter, my friend, is an awesome (and awesomely difficult) space flight sim that was put together several years back by a physics professor somewhere, and since then blossomed into an oft-modded game with a decent online community. The game itself has a ridiculous learning curve, simply because it tries to get as close as possible to what real space flight is like. Scruce and I got excited because the pics that AdmiralTigerclaw used for his story were direct screencaps from the game, using some of the most popular mod-spacecraft: the UCGO Arrow freighter (an interplanetary pickup truck) and the XR2 Ravenstar (the Lamborghini of surface-to-orbit shuttles). If he grabbed those shots himself, major props to him.

>>280528280528

"Is our friendly resident alien broadcasting at all back to Earth?  You know they would insist, especially with a mission fraught with so much danger and scientific interest." Well, (speculation mode activated) if the Macguffin-tech that got our protagonist to Gamma Centauri at FTL speeds can't be used for an FTL radio, any conventional radio broadcast would take years to make it back to Earth. It'd be faster to record everything and then fly back home and deliver the reports then.

>>280740280740

Of course I grabbed those shots myself.  I wouldn't have it any other way.

Here's some vids I made:

To Orbit

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCXvszLlFDc

Reentry

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OiK1Ww6Xisw&feature=related

There's HiE fics.

Then there's First Contact and Xenology stories.

I like the former, I love the latter to death. Speaker for the Dead is my favorite stand-alone book.

I could comment, but my opinion agrees with the majority.  Also, congratulations on writing the first story I'm tracking with this account.

I have to say, even though it has only two chapters on it, this is an incredible fic that has Human in Equestria done in such a way that it is both believable and entertaining to watch. indeed, the whole concept seemed at first quite strange, but the amount of explanation you put into everything, the way you portray the charectors, everything, makes it incrediably believeable and entertaninig to read. I love how you made it so that they didnt understand each other right away but you led to a build up to it, which makes their interactions all the more thoughtful. I love the first person view narration and style that this fic is being written in.

I cannot wait to read more chapters of this, i have a feeling that this will turn out to be one of the best fics i have ever read in this fantastic fan community. And thats only after 2 chapters.

Also, i believe the being watching him might be Princess Luna, it would make the most sense judging by the description.

*tracked

Best "Human(s) in Equestria" fic ever.  EVER.  

*tracked  Best "Humans in Equestria" fic ever.  EVER.  

>>278261278261 One word:  CELESTIA

My nerd side and brony side are hugging right now and quite possibly combining to form one amazing entity.

Huh. I'll admit, I'm really interested right now.

Tracking.

WARNING: THIS REVIEW DOES NOT HOLD BACK ON SPOILERS. DO NOT READ UNLESS YOU'VE READ THE STORY. Procede at your own risk, so on, so forth. :P

Ignoring that strange and awkward amalgam of an SR71 Blackbird and the NASA Space Shuttle known as the "Ravenstar," I'm confident that this story will prove to be well-worth the time it takes to read it. I will admit to not knowing much about this "Orbiter," but that ship made me head-desk.

...A lot. -_-

On with the review:

The character interactions, while slightly blunt and lacking in finesse (mostly due to this story being log-based), are well done and understandable. The opening "communication" via mathematics was an interesting and unique opener, though it makes me wonder about the differences in numeral systems. For instance, humans use 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, so on, but what would the ponies use? They obviously wouldn't have the same symbols (I was delighted when you described the simple dot system), so I'm curious as to what their representations of numbers look like. Additionally, the likelihood of a shared base in tens between two species is... well, ignoring this being a fanfic, absolutely ridiculous, so I'm am also wondering what their numeral base is. Regardless, you get kudos for that unique idea.  *applause* :D

Moving on, one of the things I loved most about this was that the first contact wasn't initiated and done with in less than five minutes. Your character reminded me, in a way, of Jane Goodall, and her gradual observance and increasing proximity to a group of apes. The underlying tension was handled well in spite of the logbook format (which often tends to wash out much of the emotion in a good fic simply due to the actions being relayed through multiple filters [event->protag's reaction to event->observed reactions by protag->protag writing it all down at the end of the day]), and the changes in the relationship between the ponies and the protag flowed well. There were a few things I was less than happy with, mostly with regards to the protag being spotted almost immediately each and every time he was within sight distance of the ponies. However, the smaller touches, particularly with the reciprocal observation between Twilight and the protag, more than made up for this.

Please don't get too heavy-handed with Luna/Celestia and the 'constant feelings of being watched.' As suspense-building as it is, you're rapidly burning the emotions and ideas behind 'an unkown watcher... watches the protagonist' into your readers' skulls, and it's wearing thin for myself especially. That said, try to make it more interesting than the whole 'fleeting glimpses and prickly neckhairs' routine. Set up a prank for Luna, or set one up for our human friend /by/ Luna. Get Celestia involved, summon the Wonderbolts, blow up Discord, make Pinkie Pie start a cupcake war /just do something more than follow a standard routine/. One of the main draws this story has is its original and intriguing approach to one of the most over-used, dead-horse MLP genres, the Human-in-Equestria fic; don't lose the individuality you have already by following standard cliches. Okay, rant over.

As for communication, Twilight's obsession with the computer, and subtlety: You have no idea how much I delighted in detecting the minor tones of annoyance permeating the Protag's entries while Twilight was on his computer. Good stuff, sir, good stuff.

Let's see.... Well, something you might want to consider is a stylistic shift from logbook narration to 'real-time' first-person narration, if only to see how you fair at it. I'm not suggesting that you change the story's style permanently, I mostly just curious as to how you would write using a first-person, direct-flow style of narration in these situations. Of course, I've yet to check out your other fics, so you can ignore this bit if you feel that you can handle that style well enough; mostly I'm just commenting with a base in my curiosity for changes.

All things considered, this is shaping up to be an admirable fic, and will likely rest on the prized shelf that carries great stories such as The Colour You Bleed, when all is said and done. Congrats, you've got me hooked. Start reeling. ;)

...One final note: Goodness knows that I'm guilty of this more so than most, but be wary of sugar-coated reviews. I have no intention of inflating any egos, but it could happen. If it does, I'll bring a needle with me next time. :P

i don't usually thumbs up quickly but i did after the first chapter this is definitely a fic i want to keep my eyes on

its amazing

"I like it, I love it, I want some more of it!"

That quote is the only way i could possibly express my feelings about this fic

Well, Blacksmith Din basically went over most of the things I wanted to say.  This reads more like scifi first-contact than most HIE, which makes it more interesting to me (and that sort of first-contact protocol is actually pretty standard, SETI has a full first-contact protocol that I'm sure would be loaded onto any and every ship going out of the solar system).

And at some point I think you're going to have to shift to having actual conversation, but given the tech level he should have the ability to record everything.  You wouldn't have to shift to a conventional narration, but maybe something more like the Navidson Record from House of Leaves, still somewhat clinical but definitely first person and actual interactivity.

>>280822280822 What are the urls for those fics?

This is absolutely awesome.

Good solid build-up, a protagonist that isn't an idiot or a freak with no social skills, a focus on character interaction rather than cheap plot devices and interesting developments. You must be Santa Claus and Christmas is early this year.

Huh. Earlier today I was thinking about how interesting it would be to try and communicate with a sentient pony using math.

Also, what did our space man do for the 288th anniversary of the first manned moon landing?

I'm liking this, and it's off to a pretty good start.  Only minor nitpick is that while I like the slow approach to the first contact, it seems odd that the whole community wouldn't respond much more quickly.  

As someone who's been writing a science fiction HiE story for a while now, allow me to say Bravo.

(Trent and Laurie send their regards.)

>>281527281527

They're not 'fics, they're subgenres of Sci-Fi that focus on the difficulties of the first interactions between alien species. Everything from basic biology (Silicon-based lifeforms or Carbon-based lifeforms), to physiology (Equinoid vs Humanoid for example), to communication problems (Math is the only universal language), to cultural and societal differences (Speaker for the Dead is big on this one. Dem Piggies man.)

Speaker for the Dead is a novel written by Orson Scott Card, and is a sequel(ish) to Ender's Game. It doesn't hold the same themes, and takes place thousands of years after Ender's Game (Ender is still alive by means of time dilation). I highly recommend it.

>>281691281691

The guy came wandering out of the Everfree Forest.  Strange things coming out of the Everfree is like a Tuesday for Ponyville.  They're probably too busy being thrilled this latest thing coming out of the forest didn't decide to start terrorizing town and instead plopped down on a hill and did nothing for several days.  

Instead, the general chatter of 'strange thing on the hill' would probably generate rumours much like with Zecora.  Only since he's not walking into town, nobody panics and hides.  Of course, 'Smarty Pants' would get wind of these whisperings at some point, and decide to put her hoof down on the matter because she's coldly logical.

"You see?  It's not doing anything.  I didn't even get up the hill and it left on its own.  It's NOT going to hurt you if you just leave it alone."

"But it was WATCHING us for some reason."

"Well then I'll WATCH, IT!"

>>281728281728

You should read Shalrath's fic.

Everyone here should read Shalrath's 'fic.

I agree with most of the points >>280936280936 made. For one, the protagonist has been down on the surface long enough that I think it would do for Luna to try a change of tactics from her stalking routine. Either that or we get some sort of response from Celestia: she comes to Ponyville or gets Twilight to bring the alien to Canterlot (that'd be interesting to communicate via pictograms and gestures). Also, once Twilight starts getting a working English vocabulary, it would be nice to present us with their conversations in some form or another, as dialogue will start playing a larger role in what is going on between Sir Astronaut and the ponies.

Re: whether the number-based language starter that Twi and the protagonist used in their first contact would work with different bases than our base-10, the answer is Yes. this is actually an old idea from SETI research: that it'd be easiest to establish common ground with an alien by using math, since it's a universal language of sorts. It's really not hard to figure out how to translate between different number systems if you know what to look for.

http://www.orbithangar.com/addonpics/SNAG-0024.jpg

A fitting skin for the XR2.

Well i`m not the one for making comments, but i guess one has to start somewhere now dont i?

I must say that the whole human in eq. issnt my thing but the way this is done is appealing to my interests.

Once you are done with this story, please do make one from Twi`s point of few aswell

>>281728281728

I think we may have to compare notes between Ravenstar and Greenhopper sometime.

>>281740281740

Except for me - because I need to get busy writing more of aforementioned fic.  

This good please continue

Holy crap, now this is unique. I love how you're dealing with the language barrier as well, I've been looking for a good example of it for months now and I think I found it.

>>280936280936

Of all the things that bothered you the most, the shape of a sci-fi ship was one of them? FIMfiction, hell most of brony-authors are in desperate need of solid critiques and nit picking but that seems to be just a bit anal.

That being said you're pretty spot on about things. It feels like we've been beaten over the head with something large and blunt about this SOMETHING THAT IS LOOKING AT THE PROTAGONIST, CAN'T YOU FEEL HIS DISCOMFORT? NO? THEN I'LL DESCRIBE IT SOME MORE.

That being said this is a very good start to a HiE fic when so many of them are so painfully cookie cuter. I have no problem if he sticks with the journal entry/log style, it's quite refreshing.

I don't think you're uncomfortable enough!

SENSE THE LOOKING of 'IT!'  IT'S UNNERVING!  CAN YOU FEEL 'IT'?!

Ooh. I've only seen one fic approach the subject like this (Chwe Goledau), and he cheated with a Universal Translation Spell. This is really interesting stuff. Tracking

"I imagine her abode looks a bit like a library at this point."

Heh. If only you knew :D

"Several of the younger ponies also appear to have taken an interest in me."

CMC alien investigators GOOOO!

>>278929278929 Wow, really? I had a very good idea the first time it was mentioned. And it was pretty much confirmed when described as something dark, blue-ish and glittering :)

The letters to Celestia were also quite a hint.

>>282016282016

Hahahhaaha, you win. Two chapters in and you get a thumbs up from me, you deserve it.

>>280888280888

You and me both

>>281893281893

[Of all the things that bothered you the most, the shape of a sci-fi ship was one of them?]

Yes, because it seemed like a very lackluster attempt at a sci-fi spacecraft. I'd prefer to see an original and interesting design (if only for the sheer visual appeal of the 'new') rather than a half-hearted version. The seamless grafting of the two craft was pleasant on the eyes, but still felt... lacking in terms of creativity. I can understand the draw towards the Blackbird, considering the author's other fics, however. Regardless, I do appreciate the author's inclusion of the images as a visual aid; very thoughtful.

[FIMfiction, hell most of brony-authors are in desperate need of solid critiques and nit picking but that seems to be just a bit anal.]

In which case, why aren't you critiquing? In my perusal of your review, I saw little but a repetition of what I and several others have already stated. I value originality, and my mild complaint with regards to its absence does not seem out of line in my opinion. Reviews are meant as a way for readers to provide the author with feedback on the emotions and thoughts felt while reading a story; to refuse to do so, or to withhold certain thoughts in favor of others, seems disrespectful to the author in my opinion. :P

[I have no problem if he sticks with the journal entry/log style, it's quite refreshing.]

Neither do I, but I'm still curious as to the ways in which my response as a reader would change with a shift in narrative medium. There's no real fault with the current style, I'm just overly curious when it comes to experiencing different perspectives. *shrugs*