Sleetmanal
Joined 16th Jul, 2012 ·
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It really wasn't bad until this part creeped me out a little. I'm not going to li, this story may get more hate than it really deserves due to the whole underage thing. People did that with my 'incest' story (it wasn't incest because Applejack was just a nail and a screw. Two inanimate objects, anyways...). This is pretty interesting, at least it grabs attention. One thing you might wanna change is the fact Lyra and Bon Bon are mares, not fillies... That was a little weird. Anyways, I actually laughed at how frisky Lyra and Bon Bon were, and with Doughnut Joe XD. He must have more than just a cream filled long John
new meaning to cream filling ...
....lol
What??
First comment! Doughnut Joe likes Sweetiebelle.
Few mistakes you might want to fix by the way!
Sad! Poor Sweetiebelle.
Dang she's just adorable!!
O.o
Haha Joe like Sweetiebelle
Haha!! My sides are bursting with laughter!
And Rarity likes Joe
Yep!
*sniff*
I luv it, poor Rarity.
What no! Can't be!! No way!!
I'm OK with this.
Pedophilia is bad mmmmkay...?
Yet why does this story make me smile?
" ...And he was like..Yooooooooooo!!!!!!! , and pink cloud was her mother Effin name!!!"
Damn rarity... That was really fucked up.
Joe you are the man! A lesser stallion would have lost his rag!
Did rarity drug his milk or something?
Oh snap! Sibling rivalry! Shits about to get real!
Eclairs.... Delicious and functional!
Daaaaaaawwwwwwwwww !!!!!!!!!
Sonia: are you reading a clop fic again .... Wait ....are you crying?
Guardian angel: *sob* NO! I was just ..... Oh why !!! Why did it have to be that way!
Bwah ha ha heh *choke* *sob* * bawl*!!!!
Sonia: wimp.
Sonia: No! NO!
GA: Yes! YES! So beautiful !
Sonia: Ah!
GA: oh! Yeah!
Sonia: How could this happen! She's only ten years old!
GA: It was destiny!
Sonia: ah! Oh! Aaaaaaaaaahhh!!!!!!!
GA: hunghrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!! Love it! I know you do !
Sonia:ah! ........uh!.........yeeeeeeeeessssss!!!!!
*huff huff huff*
GA: we should read more of these together more often.
Sonia: yes..... Lets do that , this time we're reading the goddess within.
Sonia: No! NO!
GA: Yes! YES! So beautiful !
Sonia: Ah!
GA: oh! Yeah!
Sonia: How could this happen! She's only ten years old!
GA: It was destiny!
Sonia: ah! Oh! Aaaaaaaaaahhh!!!!!!!
GA: hunghrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!! Love it! I know you do !
Sonia:ah! ........uh!.........yeeeeeeeeessssss!!!!!
*huff huff huff*
GA: we should read more of these together more often.
Sonia: yes..... Lets do that , this time we're reading the goddess within.
There Is nothing wrong with pedophilia. Why just the other day...
Lesbian sex on his doorstep XD? Wtf XD?
"By this point in time Joe had attained quite the large Eclair of his own, and not just the one in his hands"
I think you meant hooves.
2133221 Yeah fun fact, no one spell checked this. The only people who read this before it was posted were the other author and I...and as you can probably tell from the rest of the story, our grammar and spelling and whatnot aren't that great
2120249 Thanks for the feedback Chum. And yeah, there's gonna be a fair amount of errors like that, sorry. We're both sort of new to the whole Pony fan fiction thing.
2123685 If by "few" you mean "a lot" then yeah, lol. just try your best to pretend were both competent authors and enjoy this wonderful tale of romance and doughnuts
2130467 are you referring to the goddess within that castertroy wrote?
I'm finding this to be disturbing that sweetie Belle is blissfully unaware.
Giggity!!!!
2143153
Maybe.....
2146181 sorry whenever I hear that as a title I always refer to that story for some reason.
2143274 yeaaaahhhhh, sorry about that man. I am incredibly uneducated on horse grammar. I-im sorry
lol i can already see the suspicious "free doughnuts" van with pedo joe inside somewhere in ponyville
ok you got me hooked, gonna keep reading
lol no this is so pedo i cant stop laughing aloud
super ultra mega sweet (no pun intended?), gonna keep reading
i fucking loved this, this was so fucking sweet!!!! i want to see more!!!
Also your grammar is effing awful (and i'm not even english native!!), but if you continue the story i'll forgive you
2160703 Thank you ever so kindly for putting up with my less than stellar grammatical skills my good sir, and thanks for all the positive comments as well
Rarity is the biggest B%&*h ever
Ok... so... I don't know if I like it or not... but I guess it is not like disgusting or anything, but it is scary...
There's a reason I dislike rarity.
1. She's shallow
2. She's kinda self centered.
3. She's a b$(&h
Seems joe got roofied
The last bit didnt surprise me in the least. I'm dying. Help
