• Member Since 22nd Mar, 2019
  • offline last seen 37 minutes ago

Black--Soul

German , Trying to write something worth while. Everyone start small after all. Enjoy the Story fellow Bronys (^///-///^)/)

Black--Soul Joined 22nd Mar, 2019 · Offline

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Comments ( 127 )
PrinceArti
PrinceArti #1 · Nov 9th, 2021 · · · Chapter 1 - Prologe & beginning ·
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The releave squad thankes there friends and informed em that the herd mares leadership wanted to see em as soon as possible to make a assessment of the situation.

"Relief" "Thanks" "Their" (there refers to a place, their refers to people who possess something, and they're is the conjunction of They are) "Them" (em is okay in speech but not in writting)

Please get an editor. Pleeeeaaaase

Black--Soul
Black--Soul #2 · Nov 9th, 2021 · · · Chapter 1 - Prologe & beginning ·
Reply

11044441
Got more than one actually. All of em on a free time and in the mood for edits basis ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Edit: Done! Thanks for the edit advice. Noone ever explained that one before :twilightsmile:
17.11.2021 I checked word for word. This chapter don't get any better.

PrinceArti
PrinceArti #3 · Nov 9th, 2021 · · · Chapter 5 - HE IS MINE! ·
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11044453
Okay. I shall wait for edits then before I continue reading this admittedly interesting story

Black--Soul
Black--Soul #4 · Nov 9th, 2021 · · · Chapter 5 - HE IS MINE! ·
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11044456
To be fair. I expected the approval to fail. Since my editors showed me in my chapters 30+ misstyping.
'Em' or 'there' instead of 'their' was not among them :rainbowderp:

Max hunter
Max hunter #6 · Nov 10th, 2021 · · · Chapter 2 - Culture and Communication difference ·
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This got so very much that I had to try and hold my laughter cause I sound like a retarded hyena.

Max hunter
Max hunter #7 · Nov 10th, 2021 · · · Chapter 5 - HE IS MINE! ·
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👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽
When new chapter

Black--Soul
Black--Soul #8 · Nov 10th, 2021 · · · Chapter 2 - Culture and Communication difference ·
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11044641
The Lion King referance ? A reader of classic taste :twilightsmile:

Black--Soul
Black--Soul #11 · Nov 10th, 2021 · · · Chapter 5 - HE IS MINE! ·
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11045128
Indeed. Strange this is the story that got approved while all others didn't... Than again this story had ponys from chapter one, so i guess that how i get the rest approved once i mimic that success strategy. Next chapter is already done, but needs seriouse editing. Perhaps tomorrow you readers can enjoy one more chapter :twilightsmile:

Black--Soul
Black--Soul #14 · Nov 11th, 2021 · · · Chapter 6 - Not to lovely struggels ·
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11045775
Rules i have to follow. Since all of them apply to my story. Otherwise i get a message that it don't get approved.
I have over 15 storys in the wait. 3 reappering problems are the use of ',' as well as other grammar.
Also when a writer missed a tag as mensioned.
M = Mature there like ( red tags ).
Red tags are not Voluntary my dear reader. They are a requirement if there definitiv to find use. Narcotics alone by fact that its present as existing element like drug use. It's later also somewere in the community the human of my story ends up. When in rome...
Plant based poisen, Consumed by intend. Also some alchemy.
I rather put all Tag as suppose to than having to add stuff and getting in conflict with the fair but strict Moderation.
They bless us with Fimfiction, meeting them half way is the very least we can do in return.

Max hunter
Max hunter #16 · Nov 11th, 2021 · · · Chapter 6 - Not to lovely struggels ·
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Nice work you did there.... Waiting for the new chapter.

Black--Soul
Black--Soul #17 · Nov 11th, 2021 · · · Chapter 2 - Culture and Communication difference ·
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11045877
How so? The human Gray Gabriel has in this chapter no idea about pony sexual courtship or erogenous areas.
If you go for Faithful Wings? Its matter of factly nothing else than resigting her mother lessons about sex and her father acting infront of her.
For you see, it will be later explained how deadly the world around them is. Staying inside tents to watch the foals is a stallions duty. No matter if they you'r own foal or the foals of one another. Normaly one would mark a story gender reversed equestria, but Pinkie Pie and Starlight Glimmer will help the human and there for also the reader to understand the world around them soon enough.

Black--Soul
Black--Soul #18 · Nov 11th, 2021 · · · Chapter 7 - The wrath & needs of mares ·
Reply

11045877
After reading the today released chapter you might think your comment was places premature :raritywink:
While this story isn't 8/10 clop but story, while the rest will be juicy and adult rated for a reason...
11046002
Enjoy :twilightsmile: But please be aware that edits are still needed, since i can't focus on output and tripple A-grade grammar at the same time...
11045470
Hope you enjoy all the chapters like that. For some reason one complained why Gray Gabriel isn't like raising a world ending undead army from day two :facehoof:
Noone loves Gary Stues and Mary Sues :raritydespair:

Some constructive critic would be nice :twilightsmile:
11044508
Always very motivational to read about the entertainment a Author can bring his audiance :yay:
11044456
I did dedicated some hours in proofreading, while stuck today in traffic. Stuck in traffic something fierce. Good i had a recharger on me 👍:eeyup:

shadow wolf1573
shadow wolf1573 #19 · Nov 12th, 2021 · · · Chapter 9.5 - Special - Pinkie Pie's dreamland ·
Reply

11046279
Do you know it's while not wile? I also read the first 5ish chapters and you keep spelling words wrong. Like nuzzle cuddle and things that should end in Le you put El. I will return once proof reading and editing is done

Black--Soul
Black--Soul #20 · Nov 12th, 2021 · · · Chapter 9.5 - Special - Pinkie Pie's dreamland ·
Reply

11047084
Matter of factly i did not. Interessting enough, did my two proofreading support don't correct it. My pc coolant run out, so i can't even start it up. All you see here was written by my mobile phone. I assume correctness is working good enough to be understandable but... My helpers work for free and when they are in the mood so... Go figure its of questionable quality. I dont watch gifted ponys in the mouth ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Thanks for giving it a chance later. I plan on edits this weekend.

shadow wolf1573
shadow wolf1573 #21 · Nov 12th, 2021 · · · Chapter 9.5 - Special - Pinkie Pie's dreamland ·
Reply

11047151
Fair enough. I think you can use grammarly on your phone. It will help out a lot.

Lorddrakefox
Lorddrakefox #24 · Nov 15th, 2021 · · · Chapter 11 - The dice has spoken... F-U-N time is overrr... or is it? ·
Reply

I really want to read more of this store, but please for the sake of any deity that exists, try to limit the jumping all over the place, it makes is hard to get a decent reading pace, as well as making it feel like your simply cutting characters off. So longer segments like in the first chapter perhaps?
Maybe instead of mixing the Griffin part with the Pony parts, maybe just dedicate a chapter to that instead?
The small interludes around notes and murphy as stuff were fun the first few times, but when it got used so often, it just sadly lost its charm a little.
That is not to say that its a bad story, I really like the premise of it, and I'm looking forward to when the "necromancer" part get into it.

This was just my titbits, and I'm looking forward to see more to this story.

Black--Soul
Black--Soul #25 · Nov 15th, 2021 · · · Chapter 11 - The dice has spoken... F-U-N time is overrr... or is it? ·
Reply

11049956
Next chapter is a special. Gray Gabriel will have his first fight. The problem with Necromancy is that it uses death as catalisator. Without dead bodys one do not necessary is tipped off to his nature and affinity. As of yet only Pinkie Pie, is the only active mortal to know about it since she peeked over the scribt and the telling titel.
But when the campsite get attacked and the not awakend Necromancer has the time to sit down and help take care of the corpses...
The random nature will be reduced slightly but one reason why i do it is that my 9/10 of the story is mobile phone writen and edited. That sucker isn't very formation friendly. Noticed for instance how huge the autoread function chunks of area is when the text to speech function is used?
Anyway... So far i established the setting and some characters. It was maybe not ideal, but i tried it way better and Moderator don't approve it. To technical and to few ponys mentioned in the first three chapters despite it focused on a world of them and non pony races...

Black--Soul
Black--Soul #26 · Nov 15th, 2021 · · · Chapter 11 - The dice has spoken... F-U-N time is overrr... or is it? ·
Reply

11049956
Also Pinkie Pie is on the cover... Random is kinda a thing here. Funny enough i wanted to make it like my 14 non approved storys, but only the very chaotic and random story made it past moderation...
Anyhow... Grammar overhaul this weekend like announced on all chapters in the authors notes.

Also a question of mine. How did you like the Author to become a character that get forced to interact with Pinkie Pie? I found the idea absolutly mindblowing that the Author (me duhhh) and Pinkie basicly having to agree on story progression. Her 4th wall bending literally changed the story by the fact that she killed the first minor boss before it made it to it's battle event. There for delay the dormant Necromancer to come in contact with dead bodys and it's potencial.

Black--Soul
Black--Soul #27 · Nov 15th, 2021 · · · Chapter 11 - The dice has spoken... F-U-N time is overrr... or is it? ·
Reply

11049956
In my blogs are examples how i usualy write my storys. You see quite the difference there. Have fun
Reading password next to the names of the as of yet not approved storys.

Black--Soul
Black--Soul #29 · Nov 18th, 2021 · · · Chapter 11 - The dice has spoken... F-U-N time is overrr... or is it? ·
Reply

11053644
Thanks. Hope you will like the next chapter. It will be a bit longer than usualy seen here.

Bookwurm666
Bookwurm666 #30 · Nov 19th, 2021 · · · Chapter 1 - Prologe & beginning ·
Reply

literally bloody Rabbit, that for some god forsaken reason wanted to bite and probably eat him.

Angel Bunny is that you?.:fluttercry:

Bronycommander
Bronycommander #32 · Nov 20th, 2021 · · · Chapter 1 - Prologe & beginning ·
Reply

congratulations on your first approved story and that it went well.

its interesting

Bronycommander
Bronycommander #36 · Nov 20th, 2021 · · · Chapter 5 - HE IS MINE! ·
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nice touch with the fourth wall break

Bronycommander
Bronycommander #43 · Nov 20th, 2021 · · · Chapter 11 - The dice has spoken... F-U-N time is overrr... or is it? ·
Reply

good job!

And, if i may suggest for the future, space out the paragraphs. So, instead of this

Gabriel was unable to stop himself from giving this little darling belly rubs. She yawned shortly after getting some.
After that he just know, he had to have at least two foals with his future familie. No doubt would his cyan mate be willing to give him a foal.
After a way to short time with the batpony foal did he hear a commotion outside his tent. The batwinged cleaning aquad stormed outside.
If anything was about to make his future familie and trouble, than he would exterminating it with extream precision. When he followed the mares outside, did he hear a high pitched sound. To his surprise did his little precious start to make also a high pitch sound. Beside the point that his heart was about to give out because this just made her the most adorable thing ever to have existed in any universe, did he was fairly certain that he would have to part very soon with his little snuggly foal. Tge high pitched sound repeated and the little batwinged foal answered the sound.
No doubt this little death by adorable on four hooves mother or father wanted there foal back. He followed the sound that come from the direction on the batponys that had left his tents seconds prior. When a batpony with red instead of yellow slitted eyes come around a tent. He slowly sit down, the batpony mare called with her high pitched call to her little foal.
Gabriel carefully take the foal in his hands turned her right side up and placed her on the ground with utmost care.

The tiny thing looked back at him and waved him goodbye with his right forhoove over her left side. He be damned for eternaty if he let this little darling ever come to harm. The foal meet her mother half way. The mother give him a grateful smile and than picked her little one up by the scruffy neck. He stand around a minute or two after they moved out of sight. He really would love to have a child of own one day. Even if this would be a pipe dream at best. He could find a pony stallion to impregnat his cyan mate and raise her foal as his own. Blood is thicker than water, but a familie you chose is often as precise if not more so than the one you'r born with.

make it like this instead

Gabriel was unable to stop himself from giving this little darling belly rubs. She yawned shortly after getting some.
After that he just know, he had to have at least two foals with his future familie. No doubt would his cyan mate be willing to give him a foal.

After a way to short time with the batpony foal did he hear a commotion outside his tent. The batwinged cleaning aquad stormed outside.

If anything was about to make his future familie and trouble, than he would exterminating it with extream precision. When he followed the mares outside, did he hear a high pitched sound. To his surprise did his little precious start to make also a high pitch sound. Beside the point that his heart was about to give out because this just made her the most adorable thing ever to have existed in any universe, did he was fairly certain that he would have to part very soon with his little snuggly foal. Tge high pitched sound repeated and the little batwinged foal answered the sound.

No doubt this little death by adorable on four hooves mother or father wanted there foal back. He followed the sound that come from the direction on the batponys that had left his tents seconds prior. When a batpony with red instead of yellow slitted eyes come around a tent. He slowly sit down, the batpony mare called with her high pitched call to her little foal.

Gabriel carefully take the foal in his hands turned her right side up and placed her on the ground with utmost care.

The tiny thing looked back at him and waved him goodbye with his right forhoove over her left side. He be damned for eternaty if he let this little darling ever come to harm. The foal meet her mother half way. The mother give him a grateful smile and than picked her little one up by the scruffy neck. He stand around a minute or two after they moved out of sight. He really would love to have a child of own one day. Even if this would be a pipe dream at best. He could find a pony stallion to impregnat his cyan mate and raise her foal as his own. Blood is thicker than water, but a familie you chose is often as precise if not more so than the one you'r born with.

Much more easier on the eyes.

I also hope you are doing well in these times, kinda missed ya. no offense

rikithemonk
rikithemonk #44 · Dec 19th, 2021 · · · Chapter 11 - The dice has spoken... F-U-N time is overrr... or is it? ·
Reply

Black-Soul writes some good stuff.

Well done

I hope you're not going to keep us waiting long.

Monk
“Shhh, it’s ok. The crotches won’t get you.” - BobAlcove

Black--Soul
Black--Soul #45 · Dec 19th, 2021 · · · Chapter 11 - The dice has spoken... F-U-N time is overrr... or is it? ·
Reply

11088538
Currently working on the Sci - Fi Contest and 1 old passion story. 6 Chapter ready but not approved do to the end of the year...

Black--Soul
Black--Soul #46 · Dec 19th, 2021 · · · Chapter 11 - The dice has spoken... F-U-N time is overrr... or is it? ·
Reply

11088538
This story next chapter is 30% done, before i give it a 'until new year vaccation' its only 1-2 weeks now i guess.

rikithemonk
rikithemonk #47 · Dec 19th, 2021 · · · Chapter 11 - The dice has spoken... F-U-N time is overrr... or is it? ·
Reply

11088595
Cool, I'll look forward to it.

The Monk
“To say that Twilight Sparkle went bugfuck would be like saying the Incredible Hulk had some mild anger management issues.” -DustTraveller

Deadrik2
Deadrik2 #48 · Jan 3rd, 2022 · · · Chapter 1 - Prologe & beginning ·
Reply

Perhaps humans smelled delices to this little Demon of cuteness, the human wondered why something so cute evolved to be deadly. After losing the Rabbit for deity knows how long ,did he found rather fast food and water again. The lucky human was apperently in very fertile grounds, what would keep him feeded for the days to come without hunting for wildlife or fish.

delicious
apparently
fed

Deadrik2
Deadrik2 #49 · Jan 3rd, 2022 · · · Chapter 1 - Prologe & beginning ·
Reply

When the human stand up, so did the ponys and the battleformation on ground and air resumed. After standing still for minutes in silence and contenplation did the human sit down again. The ponys resumed there prior observed behavior. This was repeated fifteen times. When the human growh frustrated about the ponys keeping him bussy, would he have bet a month worth a salary that the ponys look proud and perhaps smug about there success. The human Gabriel was surprised how expressive the ponys faces and body language was.

ponies
battle formation
contemplation
growth
busy

Black--Soul
Black--Soul #50 · Jan 9th, 2022 · · · Chapter 1 - Prologe & beginning ·
Reply

11105503
11105513
Thanks a lot! Apparently my proofreading help is far from perfect. I guess i have to re-reading everything again to get this changes all over my storys :facehoof:
Guess i will be bussy next week to get everything fixed...

This chapter was fully edited now. 9.01.22

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