Mother Knows Best
A Dialogue With Celestia
“Hello there, Cadence, it’s nice to see you again. Tea?
There you are. And how are you?
That’s good to hear. How’s Shining Armor?
Oh, that’s a shame. I’m sure he’ll be fine though.
Anyway, I thought it was about time that we sat down and had a talk. Now, Cadence, as an alicorn you’re still very young, but I’ve spoken with Luna and she and I both agree that you have a measure of wisdom beyond your years, so I’d like to tell you about what it is an Alicorn is born to do.
Alicorns are born to be mothers, Cadence, although not in the normal sense of the word. Alicorns are born to be mothers of nations. Now, at this point you may be curious about Luna. Luna is not typical of an alicorn, instead she’s given up her maternal instincts for art. Of course, she still is labelled as a ruler of this country, but that’s really just a remnant of the whole ‘Nightmare Moon’ fiasco. Luna gets a bit touchy when no-one appreciates her art—
Yes, of course I mean the night sky. Anyway, this highlights something interesting. The night sky has always been an intricate piece of art and, ultimately, an expression of Luna herself. The day sky is in fact an expression of myself, or rather how I project myself.
The clear endless blue with the single burning sun. The sun giving life and sustenance to the earth and warmth to all creatures, but also the sun is a sign of dominance; an endless source of power, an immutable cycle of rising and setting, a clear sign of my will.
My dear, you seem at a loss for words. I guess you never imagined I had a poetic side.
Where were we? Ah yes. There will come a time, Cadence, when you will have a longing; an inescapable desire to rule. You will feel your power and you will be unhappy under the servitude of your current kingdom–oh, by the way, at that time I would advise against teenage rebellion as alicorns do not take lightly to someone else messing around with their kingdom–but, as I said there will come such a time. When the longing arrives, you’ve reached adulthood. You may for a while experience some strange sensations and phenomenons, but let me tell you this, they’re all telling you one thing; “It’s time to leave home, and start your own kingdom.”
I must say Cadence you’re taking this all very well. When giving most alicorn fillies the talk, they usually blush and get all embarrassed, but you... Well, this is just a testament to your maturity. I will admit, I do find your look of bewilderment a little strange.
Continuing with our talk. When you first go to start a kingdom you’ll need subjects. Don’t be embarrassed, just ask and I’ll facilitate your request. It should be apparent that I won’t give you an entire city’s worth, but a few thousand should get you started.
What do you mean, “What if the ponies don’t want to come?” Of course they’ll want to come. You just stick up some posters on the walls asking for adventurers to start a colony and everything sails smoothly from there. You will have to live under the title of colony at first, but it shall be in name only. After a while, you can make a show of vouching for independence. I’d rather you didn’t go for a large ‘independence’ event as those look terribly bad on the kingdom you were brought up in, and I wouldn’t be best pleased.
When you start your kingdom, you’ll want to start small. You need to be ready to abort if anything goes wrong. Preferably, it would be nice if everypony could live, but if ponies get exposed to too many horrible things they tend to become mentally scarred and a bad cycle begins.
My dear, by aborting I mean killing everypony.
I don’t see why you’re so horrified, ruling is a nasty business. Now please, sit down and let me continue.
Good, thankyou. Let’s continue, shall we. Always remember the goal of a kingdom, to make those who you rule happy. As a mother, you must love your child, you must only want what’s best for them. The kingdom is not there to serve you. I will admit that there are benefits to ruling, for example the palace you see around you, but pushing your subjects into slavery and forcing them to build you pyramids is not what good alicorns do.
Most of the things you’ll need to know about ruling come from experience but I can give you an idea of some of the basics.
Bedtimes are a good idea for when the kingdom is young. Don’t just let your subjects stay up all night drinking and having orgies, it’s not conducive to hard work. Don’t deprive them of festivities though, or else you’ll just have miserable ponies. Try and enact some sort of calendar of celebrations, it gives ponies something to look forward to. What else, let me see... Oh, yes. Make sure you establish firm rules. The idea of letting ponies do whatever they want and believing in their inherent goodness is a nice idea, but not a realistic one. There’s always a bad few in the bunch who’ll go and ruin the freedom for everyone else by killing others or something of the sort. Law is important, never forget that.
On the issue of law, I suppose we should talk about discipline. Now, prison is good, it protects both your subjects and teaches a lesson. Death penalty is really a matter of conscience, although, there might be certain crimes where death penalty is warranted no matter what your conscience says. You can figure out what those are as you go.
As for spanking a country, well, popular uprisings are a definite no-no. When a kingdom’s still young they’ll be rather arrogant and will like to test their limits. React firmly and swiftly. Imprisonments, making examples and massacres will all be cards in your hand, play them wisely though, you do not want to become a tyrant.
Cadence, are you trembling?
Are you going to give me an answer?
No? Well, I’ll continue. When disciplining, always make sure to have a clear head, never react in anger or vengeance or with a hot head. Your kingdom is not yours to abuse. Simply lay down the law and respond to infractions appropriately. There’ll be times in a young kingdom when it may hurt you, it may even say “It hates you.” As long as you’re not abusive or a tyrant, these are only things that are said out of hurt. the kingdom won’t really mean it. Try not to respond in a similar manner, or else what you say eventually becomes truth.
I think that covers most of the basics.
Now, I want you to listen up, this is going to be the most important part of all.
Sometimes you need to let your kingdom be hurt; not by your hand, but by circumstance. You need to let your kingdom learn how to pick itself up. Your subjects can become overly dependent on you. I’m not going to give you a lecture on why it’s a bad thing, that’s for you to figure out, but trust me on this. Don’t baby your kingdom forever. There’ll come a time when your kingdom is ready, ready to run itself. Your kingdom becomes all grown up and you know that to rule it for any longer would be detrimental to its growth. All chicks have got to leave the nest eventually.
Equestria’s almost ready, the country can fend for itself now. My successors are already lined up. I wonder if you can guess who they might be? Soon, I’ll hand over the reigns, and let the country rule itself.
It’s really a special moment when your kingdom begins to govern itself. I always cry when it’s time. Look, there’s tears coming to my eyes even now... After all the hard work and effort, it’s so worth it. There’s no greater feeling in the entire world.
“What will I do next?” Well, probably take a break, visit the Baahamas and make friends with the locals–sheep do make for brilliant conga lines–then, when I’m ready, start again. A new land, a new flag, and a new start; maternal extinct. I’ll get a chance to do everything I should have done with Equestria. the laws will be fairer, the people happier, and maybe this time we can avoid apocalyptic-level disasters.
And then, someday in the future, I’ll lose the instinct. I’ll say farewell to my last kingdom and then, well, retirement I suppose. I don’t suppose I’ll live much longer than that, but I’ll enjoy my remaining time. I’ll pop in and visit from time to time, you and Equestria. And then one day, it’ll end. And that’s just the way the story goes.
Anyway, Cadence. That’s the talk. If you have any questions... well good, that shows you’re thinking.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a particularly important meeting to be at.”
The brilliance of the moon was cast over the mountains and the stars twinkled in the void of space. Luna sat, soaking in the night’s chill. Her breath condensed into thin wisps, curling through the air.
There was a small flash beside her.
“So?” Luna inclined her head toward Celestia.
“We had the talk.”
“How did she react?”
“She was very mature about it all.”
“I told you she would be.”
They sat for some time, enjoying the silence of the night. At such a high altitude the sky was crystal clear; stars sprinkled the sky like glitter on black silk.
“Luna...”
“Yes?” Luna looked towards Celestia, her eyebrow raised slightly.
“Do you ever wonder if the talk–that which was passed down to us–is wrong?”
Luna’s eyebrow raised slightly higher.
“In what manner?”
“Well, surely there’s a better way— Cadence looked so horrified.”
“Oh.”
“The methods we were taught to control kingdoms. Some of them seem so... barbaric.”
Luna was quiet again. She looked up at her masterpiece.
“Celestia, do you have questions?”
“Many.”
“Good, that shows you’re thinking.”
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This was awesome
Bit... Harsh. Left out a few things to do with ruling (serious mode active)
There are three things a ruler can be. Hated, Feared, or Loved. It is vitally imprtant that you are Feared, by which I mean that your wrath and displeasure should be Feared, not you personally. A good example is the mentality that parents set up. When you were younger you loved your parents, but you also Feared them.
Being Loved helps, but isn't as important as being Feared. If you must choose between them, go with Feared. Being Loved will let the people get along a bit more easily with you, and there are many ways to do this, and it also has the added bonus of making sure that assasins and uprisings are much rarer.
Even more vital is that you avoid being Hated. A Hated ruler will not last long. Do not, under any curcumstances, steal land, people, or cattle. Bad idea, for a man will forgive the death of his father much more readily than he will forgive the theft of his property. Secondly, do not overly oppress the people. Unlawful seizures and imprisonment, along with bursting into houses in the middle of the night, are suicide tactis for a ruler.
Next comes your authority. Celestia got it rather right.
Fantastic, though massaceres are always an act of last resort. The ah... 'Abort' thing is jsut plain stupid. Too many ways it can backfire.
Interesting... Nice... Thumbs up
1192635
Is it right for Celestia to play god over other people's lives?
1192653
I'm not here to make moral judgements.
Interesting setup and premise. Celestia's too out of character here for me, though.
Well... That was...
I thought she was going to talk about literal motherhood, but then again, she might as well, haven't she?
So basically they have a speech, but they dont know any of the answers for it and have no idea about it.
BRILLIANT.
1192671
I will admit to taking liberties with Celestia's character. I kind of abused her characterization in favour of metaphor.
1192761
I thought she was gonna talk about motherhood... darn.
She is in a way. countries are born, they die. they do all those things.
This is nice. Sweet
Well, I guess it goes a long way to highlighting how little most people know about human nature. It's all fairly true from the point of view of a barbaric society like ours, but it's complete hogwash in reality. Can't see why you'd foist that onto ponies.
-Scott
This was great
At first I expected the obvious Talk (probably exactly what you planned) but this was seriously way better! 
OOC or not, and that's debatable considering how little we really know of Celestia and how old she is, I enjoyed this
Oh, and about that aborting bit. It's a tough decision to make so I think Celestia should have reassured Cadence about it a little. She could have said something along the lines of "You can disguise the whole thing as a terrible natural catastrophe or anything else that is believable enough for your new subjects. I will back you up with any story you make, so don't worry about it too much."
Just a thought!
1193737
Maybe also a part where she talks about testing them "You can organize a fake rebellion *leans in to whisper something* Just make sure to not ACTUALLY send the leader to the moon for a 1000 years"
I happened to see this on the new-uploads list and the title threw me for a loop. You know what, i like it when something throws me like this. It wasn't what i expected, and yet, i enjoyed it more than what i had originally thought.
Fav'd Watch'd Like'd.
1193538
Hogwash?
1193714
I find the notion of Celestia being out of character a strange one. On one hand, I can see why she is in this story, on the other, this fandom seems to adore Celestia characterizations which have very little connection to the Celestia projected by the show.
1194121
1194131
hog·wash
Noun: Nonsense.
Synonyms: swill
To illustrate: “Do you ever wonder if the talk–that which was passed down to us–is wrong?”
My answer: Damn straight it's wrong—immoral, even. In reality, it's all we have until society grows the fuck up.
1194166
Maybe the talk was never meant to be right.
1194174 I'm not sure I see the relevance. I'm not saying it's right or wrong with relation to the story; I'm saying it makes a good satire because it's clearly wrong yet no so far from the reality of our world. Whether it's meant to be right or wrong has no bearing on the statement that it is, objectively, wrong.
It's not meant as any kind of snipe at the story.
1194199
Oh, okay.
And then they played Civilization again.
Great premise, but there were a few issue for me personally. These are merely critiques, so take them for what you will.
Basically, there were two issues. One was the way "the talk" came across. The first sentence used a quotations, which subconsciously triggered "dialogue" in my mind. Then there was no response from Cadence as she never really spoke in terms that were easy for the reader to understand. As such, it hampered the flow (due to a lack of quotations afterwards, for the most part).
It became more a direct monologue then anything else, which hampered the initial ease of flowing into the story scene. That can be a turn off to some readers. I could see this as a letter to Cadence (suffice to say that it'd stand by itself without the dialogue between Celestia and Luna in the second part), or bridging the two sections by going with a more traditional dialogue between the two characters of Celestia and Cadence.
The second was Celestia felt like she had some OOC issues. Usually Celestia is portrayed, in the series, as the Benevolent Rule archetype, such as her usual caring disposition, infinite patience, and love of Equestria (the duel with Chrysalis, etc).
She seemed more distant then usual, more...harsh. That's just how I read it, and I could be wrong here. Usually when folks take liberties with her character, it's more in a comedic role or developing some latent aspect of her personality, but that wasn't really present here. I think the trigger was this line:
React firmly and swiftly. Imprisonments, making examples and massacres will all be cards in your hand, play them wisely though, you do not want to become a tyrant.
Massacre is a very powerful word when used in the right context. Such brutal measures seem way outside the bounds of how she is otherwise portrayed. Even in an uprising, imprisonment is one thing. Willingly killing a plethora of ponies? That's a hard pill to swallow. Her sister tried that and was banished. To me, it's like saying Ron Weasley is a Deatheater.
With all that said, I do like this piece because it deals with a unique idea. Assuming a revision and exploration of the premise, this could be brilliant. The core is there, but it needs to be flushed out a bit.
1199520
Yay, I was really looking forward to a detailed critique and I got one.
The first sentence used a quotations, which subconsciously triggered "dialogue" in my mind. Then there was no response from Cadence as she never really spoke in terms that were easy for the reader to understand.
This was really a mistake on my part, italics for the whole thing would probably have worked better.
I could see this as a letter to Cadence (suffice to say that it'd stand by itself without the dialogue between Celestia and Luna in the second part), or bridging the two sections by going with a more traditional dialogue between the two characters of Celestia and Cadence.
I've got to say, most of the following issues really arise from me writing with a focus on style rather than the requirements for the piece.
I tend to try and avoid letter fics because I feel the structure is too overused. At the same time, most of my normal fics are very wordy and flowery, this was an attempt to try and writing something a little more lightweight, mainly content focused. Part of the challenge was to in fact see if I could attempt a narrative through dialogue alone. I didn't really want to get tied down in Cadence's reaction either. Maybe next time a letter will just have to suffice. Either way though, I'm happy with how the structure turned out as this was really an experimental piece, but I see exactly where you're coming from.
As for the part with Luna and Celestia at the end, I'm a bit of a whore for character development, I'd find it difficult to not give Celestia a little closure, especially after abusing her character so much.
Which leads onto...
The second was Celestia felt like she had some OOC issues.
I'll be truthful here, Celestia was consciously written OOC. There I said it.
Celestia's character was beaten beyond recognition partially for metaphor and partially because I figured every other author does it. I mean, her character is probably the most abused out of any. Either she's wearing a mask and is really Sadlestia, or she loves Twilight and is Creepylestia or is Trollestia etc. This doesn't validate my abuse in any way, but that's one of my weaknesses as a writer; twisting characters to fit what I need. Definitely something I need to work on.
With all that said, I do like this piece because it deals with a unique idea. Assuming a revision and exploration of the premise, this could be brilliant. The core is there, but it needs to be flushed out a bit.
And with all that said, thanks for the critique. This was mainly experimental so I'm unlikely to touch this again, plus I'm really quite pleased with the outcome, but as for the ideas... Well, I'm feeling that this is only scratching the surface of something, that given depth, could turn into something really interesting.
Stay classy.
- Timefly
1194273 Yeah, it does feel like a video game tutorial.
LOVED IT! LOVED IT! LOVED IT!
1246510
I was unsure of this throughout the whole 'talk', but I gotta say, those last three lines just made the whole fic for me. Bravo, sir, bravo.
I kinda really liked this. I wonder - will do you do a fic based around Cadance or Twilight giving the Talk to someone? A fic based on Twilight getting the Talk? I can only imagine she'd have a load of questions and seeing Celestia's side of the conversation would be funny, lol.
Also! I found a typo!
Maternal instinct.