It is already time for a new check-up for the little foals of the family. For Sky, the young pegasus, spending some minutes in the consulting room isn’t anything complicated, but for the youngest foal of the family, the little red unicorn Magic, it is 100% different. The heavy and stressful environment of the hospital, the coolness of the doctor’s consulting room, all the strange gadgets that he uses, and that weird smell in that place aren’t the favorite things of the foal. But maybe the young unicorn is only overrating how scaring is all of that. Or… Maybe not?
If you want to learn more about Sweetie Dash and her family, you can visit their drawings collection to know everything about this curious family.
Chapters (1)
Very nice. I applaud how you created a perfect feeling of what it is like to be in a hospital. For as many times as I have had appointments, I can tell you how, when I could see, how I never felt comfortable with all those basic wall colors and floor tiles.
What you did very well is immersing the reader into the hospital from Magic's perspective. Hospitals tend to feel 'cold' as you get deeper into the exam / consultation rooms. The 'smell' also gets stronger and the assault on Magic's senses would quickly remind him of what happens when he comes to this place.
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The way Magic handled everything was perfect. You provided Dr. Kindheart with a wonderful 'bedside manner'. It reminded me of the doctors I later had who tried to save my eyesight. They all cared, made sure I did not get too scared about what was to come, and promised to do all they could to save my sight when even I knew it was a miracle I even had any left after how often I was operated on.
Back to Magic, I do believe his sister, Sky, certainly acted like a typical older sibling who had better things to do than have her appointment and then have to wait on her crybaby little brother. The way she acted, spoke, and postured herself was very believable.
I also forgot how, for young children, they try to get the shot / vaccine into the more padded tissue of the backside. As long as the medicine can work its magic, it is great to know a simple stretch of the diaper, steady injection of medicine, and putting on a bandage to help it heal was perfect.
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Thanks for giving us a glimpse into the family. I kind of expected Magic's reaction. However I did not ever know how Sky would be and how Sweetie Dash was really doing all she could to be patient with her nervous foal who, unlike his sister, is not growing up as fast. It is not due to him being unable to develop as much as he has anxiety and anxiety is compounded by older siblings act like, well, older siblings.
10393702 Thank you, Yosh, for, as always, all your detailed opinions and even including your own experience, about my writing. My story was based on things that I have experienced, looked in series, movies or reports, and of course also, the things that I would like to experience if I were in a foal appointment like Magic. This story was too hard to do, was stuck in the moderation queue for days and I'm really happy that you were able to read it. You really inspire me a lot and probably more interesting stories, helping you and the other realize how this family is, will come pretty soon...
Ha! Oh man this is too relatable, the moment toddler me heard the word "Vaccine" in the doctor's office at an appointment, I knew enough that someone was gonna get poked and I would have a panic attack
only to find out it's over in a second and that I had slivers and bee stings worse than that little needle. Great story~
10394459 Thank you very much!