Walk, don't run. Unless you're late for the bus.
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Johannes hasn't come to Equestria to escape his life, just take a break from it, and find himself in the process. A new relationship is the furthest thing from his mind right now.
But life has a way of surprising us, for better and for worse.
Related blog. Please read.
Dedicated to pahňázd and The Cloptimist.
Preread by pahňázd and Some Leech.
Edited by ROBCakeran53 and Admiral Biscuit.
Original art by Evomanaphy.
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Obligatory first comment. You know my opinion on this - I quite enjoyed what you did here. Well job!
Goodness, how you manage to so succinctly bring across the culture shock, even for a year-long resident human in Equestria, is amazing. I love the tenseness that Johannes has, and more than that, I love the organic way that Hotkey goes about breaking down that tenseness.
And this is just Chapter 1!
Seriously, Freglz, you're a timeless talent in an increasingly time-wasting world, and I feel better about making my way through it with every word of yours I read.
This is the first time I've said this to a 'literally' incomplete story (not figuratively incomplete, this chapter as a standalone would show more writing prowess than most 100K+ completed juggernauts could come close to) but: Thank you for a fantastic FIMFic.
Really nice story lookin forward to more!
I have to say, I went into this not reading the word count, and I was not expecting the sheer volume of content here. I can't name anything you didn't do exceedingly well here, Freglz.
The character building, beautiful. Johannes (I'll just call him Johan) is relatable, and his personality and motives for his actions are explained very well, despite he himself not knowing many of his reasonings. Hotkeys, an OC I had never seen or heard of before today, was an absolute treasure to read and to come to know over the these two chapters. I honestly say your interpretation of her has left me dying for more of her, especially with how well she's shown to handle conflicted or emotionally injured characters like Johan.
The world building, great. You set the stage on which your story took place excellently. You fully utilized the cultural normals differences, and you did so without making it feel forced or jarring.
As I already said, I can't name a single thing you did wrong, or even sub-par overall. In the now immortal words of Todd Howard, "All of this just works." Only I actually mean it!
Here's hoping that incomplete tags means we are in for more of this wonderful story. Bravo, my good lad, bravo.
... Why is there a sequel to this story, even tho it's incomplete?
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I did mention in the description that there a related blog. It should explain this fairly well.
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I'm glad you enjoyed it, and like Geboren above, the blog might be of interest to you too.
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I should have known Pahnazd was part of this, this had that
I was reading that blog the same minute you sent that reply, oddly enough.
little degenerate'sangelic saint's fingerprints all over it.It is great to hear you've settled into a good place personally, and exciting to confirm that this will be continued. I must emphasize to write what you want, when you want, if you want. I wish you all the luck in the world, my friend, and thank you for making my night better with your work.
Are you sure her special talent isn't being good at pressing his buttons?
that's interesting on how Hotkey is a thestral/griffon hybrid. i love it!
Lovely story, and gorgeous cover art!
Looking forward to more of these two.
Wow. I am normally very wary about stories with OCs in them (I've come to appreciate HiE stories though), but this was very surprising. Very, very good. I am loving Hotkey, she's a very, well, I guess, sex positive character without being written like a crazed lunatic in constant heat.
Very much looking forward to reading more of this!
Either Johannes simply isn't paying attention when these drinks arrive (most likely) or Hotkeys also possesses a hidden talent with magic. Either way, the encounter between the two of them has been interesting and curious to see where things go from here.
Quirky characters, good writing and a Bat-cat-birb-pon. And human interacting with Equestria. And a computer girl too... yup, let’s see if those switches are clicky or not.
Loved the first chapter, eager to read on!
My "Aw, not little" Pony
Why so many humans fail this much at explaining clothes? I've encountered it many times on fimfic, it's bizarre. Was he living in virtual reality? With no hazards from cold, direct sunlight, insects of all kinds, plants that don't want to be touched? Has he ever tried to stroll through a field or forest undressed?
This is quite an entertaining and engagin read! I'm very interested in how this might develop.
I have to say, the amout of butter Hotkey brough to the conversation is so staggering that our leads both may die from all the cholestorol. She doesn't just showers the guy with flattery and positive feedback, she uses a fire hose! She brushes of fall the negative responses and red flags like it's nothing. While this may be attributed to the fact that she is a cute (and not that little) pony from magical land, for a human it should appear quite unnatural. Is she genuine? Is she desperate herself? 'Going nice and slow' certainly doesn't appear in her vocabulary.
It's also amuzing how she framed her advances very vaguely (friendship with a flirt? Dating? One-night stand?) but put the responsibility on Johannes ('...it’s only as awkward as you make it out to be'). I'm eager to see what comes next.
Take care, stay safe.
Are you going to finish this story
Such a good story.
Good story so far, be awesome to see another chapter or 2, have to check on it from time to time 👌