Australian writer, drawer, and general FoE nut.
Derpy is transported 15 years into the future and into a broken, hellish landscape once known as Ponyville. Now she has to try and find a way back to the past... and hopefully not die in the process.
Cover art by SigmatheAwesome, picture here: http://sigmatheawesome.deviantart.com/art/MLP-FiM-What-Went-Wrong-329084784
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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FIRST!
This looks pretty interesting! I will definitely be reading this!
It's well written and goodly articulated. Also, I like your characterization of Derpy.
Freaking love the way you made my favorite pony, this was funny as hell, poor Derpy, I'll be awaiting more of this and you have a few spelling and grammer errors in this chapter, nothing major though, on to the next one....wonder where Dinky went.
1214602 Grammar and spelling mistakes? Darn.
Could you point some of them out, please? I would like to fix them up.
1214800 No lie, I'm the worst one to ever point out mistakes to anyone, even myself. Would love to help, but I'm not sure where to look, very sorry bro.
1214800 Use Word to spellcheck, ignore everything that you want and accept any spelling mistakes. That's what I do.
This should be interesting...
So why Derpy? The in-story reason, I mean.
1215104 Good question. I shan't say for spoilers, but I'll reference it in future chapters.
Keep it up! I am massively enjoying this.
Derpy has a daughter?!? How in the name of Muffins did that happen?
1231628 It's a piece of strong fanon the MLP:FiM community made some time before I joined in.
1220198 I question your use of 'massive', but OK!
Oooh, shiny...
And I want to know what Dash was doing in the bushes. Something not at all sexual, I assume.
Hmmm....this brings up so many questions such as what the hay happened to Equestria? Why is Soarin with Dash and Thunderlane? Which Princess are they servering? And will Derpy get a very bad ass weapon of her own? Also what happened to Dinky and if the CMC or Mane Six (besides Rainbow Dash of course) and Spike will be in this or not.
1234058 Not at all sexual. You'll find out later.
1234148 All questions will be answered. Eventually.
1232197 Oh... thanks for telling me. I just read up on it, and personally I like the idea of Dinky being Derpy's little sister better. But it's okay.
Anyway, I'm really excited how your story will continue. [Fav.]
Weee!!!! This is just getting 20& cooler!!!
Can't wait 'till the next chapter!
First off, brilliant once again.
Secondly, you better start answering the questions you're creating, or else something bad may happen. Just a tip
Okay....We have someone whose disability makes her a liability trying to navigate her way around a world she doesn't like or understand. We got a cyborg Applejack. We have no idea what happened to Twilight or why RD looks at that tree with sorrow. You got me waiting for chapter four.
HA, love how calm Dash is in this and Derpy is not that great with well...anything, why not just have her use her tail for swords? And Thunderlane huh? Sure why not, HA! The CMC!! Bad ass Wonder what happened to the rest of the Mane Six, so Celestria is the villian this time huh? Nice, guess that makes Luna the hero? Hmmm....sure, why not. What about Spike? Or Sweetie Belle? Onto the next one!
YAY! Great! Can't wait for #4!
1269971 My theories on the nature of pony bodies is that only Earth ponies really have full control of their tails (if this is incorrect according to the show please notify me of which episode so I can view it). As for everything else, guess you'll have to wait a chapter or three before most of everything is answered.
1267963 I wouldn't say Derpy is 'disabled'... just has some slight vision problems which can be fixed by magic or shaking her head enough so her eyes go back to normal. Oh, that, and she has a natural entropic field around her.
1270933
Which means that they can simply drop her on the bad guys and let that iron flank of hers do the rest.
1270950 Hmm... that would be an interesting military tactic.
1270910 Hmmmm.......you have a point, but I think it would be better then using their hooves or teeth still...your story, your rules, I shall await more!
1271146 I get the mouth-grip trigger mechanism, and battle-saddles, from
one ofmy favourite fanfic, Fallout: Equestria. All the weapons in that are built around the use of the mouth or magic (though griffons do have pistol-grip weapons). As for using hooves, I read an explanation somewhere about how hooves have some latent contact telekinetic abilities (hence how ponies can hold things) because they are made of the same type of material as unicorn horns, and I also should have mentioned they were using the trigger bits with their mouths, just resting the crossbows on their hooves.Shit, that bastard shot Derpy!!! They will PAYYYYY.....and a very tragic FlutterDash......WWWWWWWHHHHHHHYYYYYYYY
damn, I love that pairing and it sounds like it has so much heartache to it. Applejack is pissed and wonder what happened to Scootaloo? I konw it seems harsh but I'm hoping Thunderlane dies to give Deerpy a tragic feel, I like him though he's pretty cool.....wonder what happened to Sweetie Belle though. And it's Apple Bloom, not need for a line, and it's other hoof, not hand.
Lemme guess: when the chips were down, Teacher and BBBFF forced Twi to see things their way and AJ is too dim to realize that she isn't the only one who meekly falls in line with family.
That was a brilliant chapter. Particularly that Fluttershy scene.
Well, that has answered a few questions. I still want another chapter, though.
Wait, wait. Don't tell me.
LEEEEROOOOOYY WINGKIINS!!
Also, Red Rule reference ftw.
1289659 I used the line in Apple Bloom's name to make it more of a first name than a fusion name (her surname, and that of the other members of her family, is Apple). But thanks for pointing out that inconsistency.
1295342 Good guess. Also, this reference to this Red Rule is entirely coincidental as I have not heard of it.
1293615 I really really liked writing that Fluttershy scene. It just felt good to write.
1298878
Ahh... well, one of the lines made me think of this story.
1299460 Looks like an interesting read, thank you for pointing it out to me.
why do I have the feeling that Thunderlane is a traitor.
1301855 Well, he did say that Rainbow Dash would understand, and considering she's second to Luna in terms of command, I seriously doubt he'd be a traitor. Or he might, and he's just saying that to calm Derpy down and keep her care-free.
Unless somepony comes and tells Derpy what's going on, guess we'll never know.
Ooh, plot twist.
Can't wait to see what the CSE is like. Hopefully as neutral-looking as the PLR.
HAUZZZZZZZ....heartache has hit Dwerpy in the chest....poor Derpy, but that's how it is in war, no life is spared......I'm glad Sweeite Belle is in this now...can you make her an enemy only pretending to be an ally? And give Derpy a weapon, like a curved knife or something. Damn, so what about Rarity, Spike and Twilight? Shit is getting seriously real.
Wow Pinkie on drugs,for some reason I'm not suprised but I like, won't lie....damn, por Vinyl, she's so heartbroken and you brought in Trixie! My favorite villian of all time, of course in this story she does not seem so much a villian as a bystander....damn. What about the other villians though? Such as Discord, Gilda, lim and Flam brothers and so on, so forth...or the pet's of the Mane Six, Celstria, and Spike?
1340444 Flim, Flam and the mane 6's pets will not be covered in this story. Gilda, maybe, Discord most likely.
MOAR!
1539888 I shall endeavour to finish the last chapter (and the prologue) as soon as possible. Expect it within... a day or two
1540266
All right, good luck.
Allons-y!
Yay, it's finished! But wait, there's more! The epilogue!
Though that will come later. For now, enjoy the sudden transition between grimdark, wartorn Equestria and light, fluffy and happy Equestria.
I feel I may have made the 'ThunDerpLane' at the end a little... sudden. Feel free to agree with me or tell me otherwise.
Other than that, hope you all enjoyed reading this, and thanks for all your feedback
It may have been a little bit sudden, but Dinky's reaction, I think, redeemed it.
Very impressivde ending, did not think furture Dinky would forgive her mother so quickly though and I'm suprised Spike was not more of an adult dragon, was expecting a very large, evil monster....I like that. Rarity seemed very....peppy. Sort of annoying and very odd but it's whatever, I love the way you make Sweetie Belle though, was expecting her to knock Diamond Teria in the mouth LOL, and Celestia following under Sweets? Very odd for a goddess following a mortal unicorn. Huh....I really enjoyed this, always in the mood for a nice romance though, great job.
Oh gods that was cute. Particularly the romance, which was quite sudden, but awesome.
Criticism: Some scenes felt too quick and sudden. There should've been a bit more between when Derpy and Future!Dinky were arguing and their forgiving, and with other scenes which ended up with forgiveness, but that's improvement for next time :)
And you misspelt blanket at the end.
1546772 The Dinky bit was not even planned; I just added it to detract a little from the cheesy ending
1547421 I'm using D&D (Dungeons & Dragons) logic of dragons living for thousands of years, growing up very slowly. Going with 1547472's comment too, I wasn't even planning for Future!Dinky to forgive her mother. As for Celestia following under Sweetie Belle, I think I might have not stated it clearly enough; theoretically, Celestia is still in charge of the Celestian Solar Empire, but practically, as she is opposed to the war, she lets everypony else run it. Or will let. Or did. Stupid time travel messing with my sense of chronology.
1547472 I wrote some scenes quickly for a few reasons: 1) I was a little lazy, 2) I wanted to get this chapter out today, and 3) I've been writing a lot in first-person and I found the lack of being one person and feeling their emotions hard.
In general I enjoyed writing this fiction, but I felt like it wasn't my best work ever. Fortunately, what I'd like to consider is my best work as of recent events will be starting up soon, so
.
What I want to know is will Derpy be able to stop the civil war or is it unavoiduble?
1549136 One word: epilogue.