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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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10241012
Dude, she gives zero shits if they like her or not, she just wants to be left alone.
It's the clearly malicious behavior the mares are exhibiting, behavior which is socially acceptable in Ponyville that's driving her to make the decision, if only to regain some control over the situation.
10241012
In response to your edit- Her caving to the masses would be staying as is and starting a herd...
10241020
Then her and John should just leave Ponyville. Doing otherwise just comes across as her commiting self harm uselessly, permanently hurting herself in a way that can't be recovered and acting like this is somehow helping her. Was this particular turn of the story planned in advance? Because it seems less like her transforming and more her doing something terrible out of depression that will have no effect.
If what you had planned for the story was just this sort of trauma to create tragedy/conflict then just go with that, saying otherwise damages suspension of disbelief. If this was planned because the character and/or author decided they wanted to be something different and the rest just followed, you should probably reexamine her motives and try and come up with something that keeps her as "Lorraine" (even if it isn't as a Luck Dragon) instead of her giving that up as she seems to be doing.
10241038
Yes, the transformation was planned, we just weren't sure when to implement it. Lorraine's gut reaction to being sent to RGRE? Try to work with what she's been given, avoid conflict and do what she can, if she can't escape or de-escalate a situation, she gets loud and assertive. This was shown as early as the first chapter and shown again throughout the story.
Lorraine's shown to push herself beyond what's healthy for her as early as the first short I wrote for this story.
The situation is just reaching it's inevitable conclusion.
10241038
Lorraine lately.
Oh Crud. Incoming Nightmare, Rainbows and Fallout.
10241263
It might just be early but, huh?
villain time?
I'd like to change my vote from the dryad doe to the shadow dogo, i think it suits her better.
10241038
Some people can't deal with the pressure. A lot of people actually. Being a Hero, as in the protagonist of a story with trials, tribulations and things they care about in the balance, is not for everyone.
Lorraine got the call and she failed to be strong enough to answer.
Honestly, yeah, this chapter is needed. The moment she came to Equestria as Special she was marked for everyone as one who got The Call. You were subtle, but maybe too subtle in how you tried to show she's not hero material - surpassing the doubts and fears that suddenly being the one with power brings is a common character arc for heroes. It'd have been better for this to be a private conversation with another character, such as the Kaiju Bug, but it can work like it is.
This also shows that Luna will likely be extremely disappointed in Lorraine. She's a princess of an she of heroes, where many noble souls fought and died to make a better world with not a tenth of the power she got for free... And is abandoning for being too weak to handle the reasonability, too afraid of the burden. She's an insult to all those that died for the cause of greater good.
Or, if you want to see it Lorraine's way, because she committed the great crime of being an actually normal woman tossed into a situation she wants nothing to do with.
Everything can be seen in more than one light, and Lorraine will have to admit who she is to the princesses, because if she runs her entire life she'll never be happy. Even the common life of a common person has moments you have to fight.
10241049
Before this chapter, as I said previously in this comment, it could've been the moment where the hero surpassed her crisis of faith ("I can't do it!") and assumed the mantle. You went against standard storytelling (interesting move there btw), therefore the confusion.
10241358
Kinda the same as above. The hero failed and is consumed by angst. That's usually Nightmare Time in MLP.
You made this chapter to try and show how the special snowflake that got the big power up and sacrifices herself to others isn't a hero, but you used so much hero elements without showcasing her internal conflict over the chapters that this is coming as an heroic character arc - or maybe the fall.
It'll be somewhat anticlimactic if you don't continue to develop this somehow, for example how the change will likely at first buoy her spirits only for them to plummet when she's faced with the exact same pressures as she was before.
Basically girl needs therapy. Like any non-hero without the mettle of those who fight for a better tomorrow.
The change will do nothing for her if the cause is still present, ponyvilles view, the best thing they can do is move, leave Equestria maybe the dragon lands, maybe the changling kingdom if it's post reform, mount Aris or Eris with the hippogriffs/Seaponies if this is post movie, hell even the crystal empire. Even if she goes either shadow dog or plant fawn her John alaster, Gilda will still be harassed by mares wanting them in herds even more so since she is something less threatening then a serpentine dragon, causing the downward spiral all over again
Is it bad I'm actually hoping Lorraine bucks/kicks Luna if she keeps acting like a spoiled child and trys to push Lorraine
10241597
Currently the Doe is beating the doggo by one according to the votes I've counted.
10241049
10241062
As long as you don't destroy the wholesome feeling that made the story enjoyable I'll be fine. I just don't like seeing what appears like someone trying to solve something by making it worse in q way that can't be fixed, its depressing.
Actually I don't kniw why nobody had this idea before vut why not a changeling?
10241690
It will be still be wholesome, can you really blame noodle dragon for wanting to have a choice in what she presents herself as?
We felt like changeling wouldn't really fit her character, as someone that places the emotional and physical wellbeing of her loved ones above her own, becoming a changeling would only enable her self-sacrificing mindset.
10241537
I guess we were too subtle but it shows the strength of Lorraine's character. She didn't see the transformation as an option until she was told it was, reached out to her friends for advice and only broke when both her friend and boss (Luna) put her down for thinking for herself, for wanting to express herself.
Remember, Lorraine considered the idea a pipe dream and would've continued to deal with the stress as best she could if she wasn't told otherwise. Look at how she reacted when Luna stormed in, she was terrified of upsetting Luna. Her final conclusions after the situation dies down? Cave in and do what Luna asked of her.
10241599
She's not happy as a noodle dragon though.
10242079
Fair enough. The only way for her to be "the hero" would be if she passed this test (I bet both those gods saw it as so, a last chance) of character to reveal some inner strength. She didn't, so let's hope she can be happier without the pressure of her heroic form.
To be fair with you guys it's quite rare to see someone fighting, albeit reluctantly, for the right to abandon the call and have a normal life. We might see heroes trying to do so, but it's ultimately a hurdle for them to surpass in their quest, either the acceptance that they're more than that or if all blowing up and being motivation for them to deal with the big bad.
Lorraine just not being hero material comes as refreshing. You did have to be a little more overt either with her being more disgruntled or this decision coming from a greater crisis - maybe the stress caused a breakdown or something like that. It came kinda of nowhere, she seemed to be more of a reluctant hero than a damsel in distress in a wholly wrong role.
Her boyfriend being able to become a Kaiju certainly fits in the "more than mortal" category.
All in all I'm curious to see just how will she fight her fight while being considerably more mundane (although still a race blessed by a God). Maybe she'll finally find/admit that she must seek some help? Being that stressed is not healthy, and although get objectives are noble her quality of life - and of her partners/family - rests on her ability to deal with her own problems and shortcuts.
10242119
This isn't really a hero story. This is basically a couple side characters being thrust into a hero role and them not liking it. They might be heroes at some point, but it's going to take them awhile to get there.
10242157
I wasn't saying it was, but how it felt and how the characters seem(ed) to be. I find it interesting that you've made a character will all the hallmarks of a budging hero that's actually not fit for it, knows it and is tired of trying to be one, even if unwittingly. That's something I had though about writing in the past, "the right to be normal", and it intrigues me that you're doing it. Please do continue!
10242592
Thank you for the support!
fuck this shit!! TACTICAL SNUGGLES INCOMING!!! *grabs deer Alister and tosses him at noodle dragon's pillows* CUDDLE HER YOUR BUCK!! John is already doing it! YOU SHOULD TOO! SHE NEEDS LOVE!!
10244741
Lol.
I couldn't find if there was a poll or something in a blog so I'll write it here: I vote for Doe.
10245129
I've been counting. Doe is still winning.
10246492
Understandable but how exactly does it break immersion? The character has endured harassment for weeks, is being pushed into a role far outside her comfort zone and it was mentioned that there is a readily available option for an individual to change their race but Lorraine has to ask the gods for help to do so because of what she is.
She's been researching the idea as an ecapist fantasy, a pipe dream but now she's aware of her options. Think about it, she's advocating for everyone- mares, stallions and other races- to have a choice in how they live their lives. Would it really be fair if she was denied the very thing she's working towards?