Pinkie Pie didn't tell a lie about her past, she just didn't tell them what it really meant either. In this short story, Pinkie Pie's past is brought to light, all because a very curious mare was confused as to what the town party pony really meant. Twilight's need to learn has unearthed something that no pony could have ever come to expect about a certain Pink mare...
(Click image for better look at Pinkie's Scars)
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how interresting. i never would have thought of that! good show! the king of clop fics is impressed by a teen rated story!
Holy shit, that makes sense.
"You wanna know, how I got these scars?"
I liked this a great deal, I will be curious to see where you take this.
As a dyslexic/dysgraphic person, who is also a kinetic learner, I can relate having trouble getting thoughts into forms of speech or writing. What helps me a great deal is reading what I wrote out loud. Anything you pause or stumble on in your speech, you should revaluate that section via wording, punctation or tenses. I noticed a few parts that could benefit from this. I also caught a couple grammatical errors 'where' where there should of been a were silly stuff.
Other wise I've always liked the dark past pinkie stories I will be curious to see where this goes. Scars OooOO.
This raises a very interesting point, the only thing that doesn't really fit is the cutie mark party part, escaping tied to some party balloons makes more sense with this explanation. The story itself is kind of short, then again sometimes less is more, and even if short the story doesn't really feel rushed or unfinished. A pretty good first attempt at fiction, maybe not perfect but it's worth the time spent reading it and a thumb up.
This was really good. I'd like to see it expanded on, and in the very least, I'd like to see more from you. This is awesome!
1108568
Thanks, I will try to go back and find the mistakes, no guarantees.
1108625
I will try that, mostly I end up with Spoonerisms that make it hell come editing. (I wix my mords up.)
1108592
1108773
I have a few more ideas for scenes with this idea, but do not expect more than one or two more chapters if I do expand.
To everyone else, The Great and Powerful Dave thanks you
I would start on the errors now, but I have to go to work.
I could see a possible sequel for this story.
Hmm. The concept is good, I enjoyed the story, but it needs some work. You portrayal of the emotions in this story seems disconnected. I think the problem is that you're describing what the characters are doing (e.g. Pinkie Pie cried) rather than what they're feeling. (Pinkie Pie glared at Twilight with misty eyes. This was like a nightmare, her friend suddenly disturbing her during the night and tormenting her with the memories of her past. She wanted to tell Twilight to go away, to leave her alone, to stop asking her these painful questions.)
The best stories start with a good idea, and this story has it. I'd love to see more from you! Good luck.
1108573nope! i was first! sorry.
1108592 You all know what we were thinking!
1109715 and where does it say anything about first?
1111024doesnt have to. i'm the first commenter. dave is a good friend of mine and i read his story, like, immediately, so there for, i was the first to be able to comment. idk really. i'm only answering your question.
It made sense, until the thing about Pinkie's voice came up. You see, in that episode, Rarity's plan of escape was annoying them into submission, which they did. But apparently Pinkie Pie, who has been established to often overwhelm all creatures with her energy, was actually hurt when she annoyed the Diamond Dogs. Why didn't the Diamond Dogs hurt Rarity? Sorry, but those two events don't seem to work in the same continuity
1112500
Replying to you in a way that doesn't come off as angry is hard for this comment, I am not angry. I agree, but when I started to see the connections my mind went wild. I literally could not sleep with my brain making such a fuss. Fan fiction is here so that we can share ideas about what ifs and could have beens, in most cases the writers are completely missing many small details. Good eye however.
Alright, I have gone back over the story and fixed a few errors, point them out if I missed some. I have also fixed a few sentences to make it read a little better, the changes are minor and will change almost nothing. I have decided to continue it, like I said before it will only be another one to two more chapters before I am done. I will have another chapter soon, but I have to write it first, I have no Idea how long that will take me, on a side note I have an editor now so there will not be as many mistakes as there were in this chapter.
1112500
Grey Byte has given me just the amount of inspiration to remedy that problem. I also have ideas on how to explain the differences of situations between Rarity and Pinkie's slavery. Going further would spoil the surprise.
Am I being to wordy with this comment?
1117583 Upon reflection, I can think of a way that this could make sense. Seeing that you retconed that Pinkie's rock farm isn't really a rock farm, you could say that Rarity possibly did get hurt, but managed to trick the Diamond Dogs and get them in a position in which they begged Mane 6 to take her away.
Or not. Your story, you do what you want with it. If there was a sequel, I can honestly say that I couldn't wait to read it.
this makes FAR to much sense.
First fanfic? You are an awesome beginner my friend,
I may continue this later on...
This fic doesn't really need the Tragedy tag. It talks about a tragedy that happened, but no tragedy was happening right then.
well isint that just great
This was really good for a first. I found a few spelling mistakes but there was only one real problem I found. When Twilight asked Pinkie about the scars, everything happened too quickly. You should have extended it by making Pinkie in denial or something. Example:
"Scars? What scars?" Pinkie asked while quickly grabbing the blanket back and covering up her body with it.
So on and so forth. Something like that. Have fun!!!
Oh, that makes scene. I think? You still get a 👍.