• Member Since 21st Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen May 9th, 2020

Geo-Sif


"If only I could change myself half as well as I believe I could."

T

On a dark and stormy evening, one young man is ripped from home to a place both familiar and yet different. Torn from everything he’s known, he’s faced with an encounter of the hoofed kind, that changes him arguably for the better. But destiny is a fickle thing. Having traded one existence for another, comparatively boring one, he’s left with little freedom but much guidance. It’s a gilded cage, one from which he can merely catch glimpses of the outside land, of magic and ponies. Fighting both cabin fever and a growing self-doubt, he must have faith, if not in himself, then in finding a way home. For if not for his sanity, then for his sake, he better have the fortitude to withstand the curve balls sent his way.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 22 )

Hum, look interesting, I will read it tomorrow morning, promise always a sucker for Human Turned Pony Stories :raritywink:

So far its been an interesting read, I'm curious to see where this story goes :pinkiehappy:

Sorry for taking so much time with commenting with this story, I was very busy with my studies. So far I think the quality of the story and your writing is excellent, and I think you are doing a excellent job at characterizing characters as Benjamin seems to be pretty much well define and not just a blank slate for readers to project as, he has his own personal history. I wonder what is Luna and Celestia's plans for him as I don't see any obvious reasons as to why they have to hide him in the castle, with being in a magical land, I don't think being a transformed being would be that strange even if it is perpetual, so there has to be more to this then what it first seems. I take it that the jewel has something to do with it and beyond that it might come from the Tree of Harmony I don't see any more significance it might have other that it somehow traveled from on dimension and back, but that doesn't make Ben anything significant to it, the Hint of Luna saying that his tutoring and prince part certainly seems to to give hints at where this is going. From the looks of things, considering that Luna is back and that Celestia and Luna is still in charge it's well before season nine and from the discretion of Discord still being a stature it happens between season two and season three, and with Shining and Cadance still in Canterlot means that this is happening in season two. What I love about HiE is how they human adapts to living in Equestria, and how they adjust to becoming a pony and how they deal with their homesickness, I will be putting special attention on this story looking forward.

For the cover art, no offence to the artist how did the cover art, but it might not have any the necessary elements that you attract attention of potential readers sense it's pretty dark everywhere and don't really see anything to focus the attention on, in spite of how good the art work is.

Good luck on your story

Well, that was fast as heck, didn't expect you to respond on my comment on the art, I think it looks much better this time around, at least I can clearly see the Oc now. I would have wished the dark background to have worked, but without more experienced in judiciousness highlights it wouldn't have worked, then again I have been more then known to be nitpick-y being an artist myself (annoyingly so). But, if I would make just add another minor suggestion it would be to add more of a a shadow beneath him, or at least a slightly pronounced one at least if you are the one doing the edits at least. Sorry on that, then again it might be just a nitpick. Looking forward to the next chapter.

Comment posted by Mix-up deleted Nov 21st, 2019

9952914
Heh, yup, it's me messing with it. It takes a lot of work, surprisingly, especially when you're drawing a blank on titles or cover images!

Thank you for the critique! This is all incredibly new to me, so planning is a challenge to say the least. I just hope the final product holds up to your expectations!

9953109

No problem, I can understand how hard it is for beguine's who start going into art. If you ever want any suggestions or advice in that area let me know. So far, I really do like your work.:twilightsmile:


Also, I don't normally do this for a story who already have a cover art, but I do like to show off and advertise my work when ever I can to potential commissioners with a story that I like. I have done a good number of stories here On FimFiction, some of them you might recognize them. I really too busy with at the moment for taking on any commissions at the moment, so I am really not trying push myself on to you with this:twilightsheepish:, but I do like any feed back or praises I can get for them. Enjoy.

https://www.deviantart.com/amalgamzaku

And how is abducting him and changing his species meant to be "Harmony"? It seem like it was just done to hurt him, and done to him by Luna herself for no reason. Also, did she just steal his necklace?

The princesses do seem rather like they're intimidating him. If they want him to regard them with anything other than fear or submission I don't see why they don't act otherwise, considering they seem to want to help him. Though the Tree of Harmony being having done this to him does make it seem like it is rather cruel. There's no reason for it, it just took away everything he's known. Calling it benevolent just because of what it is makes no sense.

“That’s because you lack a cutie mark. You would draw undue attention to yourself.”

Honestly I don't think he should even get one. He's a human after all, and would be better off as his original species. Speaking of which, what are they even going to do with him? Are they at all trying to turn him human and send him back or do they figure its just the will of harmony or some shit and expect him to give up? Because the latter seem nore likely given that he's being treated like a prisoner with how he's been confined.

9954762
I want to thank you for the insight into the story. I kinda missed quite a bit of things when I was writing it, likely due to poor planning. I'm trying to write the next few chapters to take that into account, so we'll see how well that goes. Honestly, even though I wrote the silly thing, I have trouble remembering just what I wrote half the time.

But I suppose that's what keeps it fun and interesting.

9956180
Really while the Princesses seem a little bad, its not to the point of them being reprehensible, more because they don't seem to have any real plan for him besides keep him prisoner. Sure, they're being decently hospitable but nothing about them is actually likable. They seem have established themselves as beings to be feared, and only seem to half-ass being friends/friendly to where he goes along with their attempts out of fear and obedience, rather than assuring him he isn't in any trouble and they really do wish to be friends. Plus there is the question of what they're going to do. If they intend for him to just give and and stay a pony in equestria then they're basically hostile to him regardless, given it would mean him losing his entire life up to that point. Plus him being locked up makes it seem they consider him in a negative light.

As for why he is a pony in the first place, I can think of two reasons. First is that someone specifically did this to use him for their own ends, and the second is that the Tree of Harmony just plain fucked up. There doesn't seem to be any reason for him to be there that fixes anything or helps to heal him of anything, he seems to be just a regular guy. So either he was brought specifically to be used for something, or the Tree of Harmony made a mistake. Just because the Tree brought him there doesn't mean its right.

9954742
Remember, we're seeing this from the view of a scared human. A lot of this is going to be tainted.

10029225
I am taking that into account. By all appearances Luna doesn't have the intention of being friendly. She terrifies him into submission and asserts her dominance over him, leaving him confused and fearing for his safety. She sinply doesn't attempt ti do anything than force or intimidate him. Given her problem with ponies being terrified of her this makes her look bad because she is intimidating him when he isn't doing anything.

Having read through the story again, I picked up on sone things that I think hint at what is really going on. Putting it in spoiler tags in case I'm right. Benjamin says the amulet that is apparently part of the Tree of Harmony is inherited from his grandmother, and he says he is adopted. This plus what was said earlier about Harmony helping to "find home" makes me think that he is either a pony from equestria, his ancestors were ponies, or he is part pony.

This of course brings up some issues. First off is that if he is an adult he already had a life on earth, and if he's a minor then he was stolen away from the adoptive parents who chose to take him on and raised him, effectively making them his "real" parents. Plus Celestia and Luna are just mistreating him by acting like he is a freak and criminal. Also they stole his grandmother's necklace, he clearly didn't want to give it away but they intimidated him into giving up a family heirloom.

I stared dumbly at her for a moment before my brain fully rebooted,

I didn't see proof it was ever running at all.

Ill give this story a fair shot, however I hate stories where the writer makes the main character a complete dunce. So far, this isn't instilling me with confidence.

The Monk
“On her doorstep was Twilight Sparkle. While Derpy deeply respected the mare, like most in Ponyville, they wished she'd either switch to decaf, or start hitting the harder stuff.” -Dan_s Comments

10037622
hopefully celestia and luna will give it back after he has control of his magic

Pls don't be dead, pls don't be dead author come back to us pls.

Still, I feared for a library’s organization given the way these letters are laid out.

Why do I see in the future Ben having a rousing discussion/debate with Twilight on the pros and cons of the Dewey Decimal System, Library of Congress, BISAC, and whatever classification systems exist in Equestria and possibly its allies and places elsewhere in that world?

How sad it is when the work is left to the mercy of fate, the story of the main character that has just begun.

I enjoyed this and thought it was a good story.

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