- Member Since 29th Jan, 2013
- offline last seen 6 hours ago
accidentallyoffensive
some of us are great writers and some are great editors but where would any of us be without a reader?
accidentallyoffensive
Joined 29th Jan, 2013 ·
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Moar plz.
I need to know how this story ends, my sides hurt of laughing
10111846
Well as long as i made at least one person laugh, I guess i can consider this a success.
In the description, you used the wrong "your"
In this case its "you're"
10113175
Thanks for noticing that. I'll fix it right away!
10113226
Also Equestria is misspelled, as is Guardponies, princess could be capitalized, and the last sentence needs a little better punctuation, such as a comma after “money”, and “if” needs to be either capitalized or put a comma before it. Good premise though
Twilight's mom would make an excellent Mare in the Shower.
Except she wouldn't have missed... Death by Shampoo.
Embarrassing way to die, but a great name for a Hair Metal band!
...I'll see myself out. Loving the story so far!
So far, my impression of this story is " Discworld's version of Princess Bride, crossed with an isekai anime, on drugs"
---
I'm TOTALLY ok with that, for the record.
10113343
Ha ha! Yes! Thank you. These are the comments I live for! I learn from every mistake you point out and it makes me a better writer.
Fixed!
10113655
In hindsight I probably should have looked over and edited my description before publishing this.
10113385
I'm glad your enjoying the story so far, thank you for the comment!
Oof, at least we know who's bucket got pissed in.
Poor Candy Floss
Gotta say, I'm really enjoying this so far.
Why would Luna choose him if he's so bumbling?
10125102
Because this is a comedy, and that was a joke.
11 down votes 0 complaints I can't fix it if ya don't tell me what I'm doing wrong.
Come on lay it on me I can take it
10125132
Well, the first chapter needs to be fixed due to grammar errors and such. I haven't given a dislike though.
10125328
The first chapter is pretty awful. I often consider rewriting it. Does my writing seem to improve in the later chapters?
It's... surprisingly accurate. You are the first person I saw correctly using French on this site. Congratulations.
10125611
What? Really? My French is terrible I had to do extensive research to make sure that was right, and even then i wasnt shure.
yeah.. i would read this but there are too many spelling mistakes in the first chapter.
10125945
Actual mistakes, or an exaggerated country drawl?
Some of the dialogue in the first chapter is grammatically incorrect in order to reflect a rural upbringing.
I don't expect everyone to enjoy this story, but if there are misspelled words please point them out so I can fix them.
10125959
actual mistakes, yeah
10125969
Found a couple of someponies with missing e's and a deadpanned with only one n
But I feel like there's something I might be missing, maybe you could point it out?
10125375
It does seem to be better.
I look forward to more, if there will be
10128059
I'm no quiter I'm gonna finish this!
10127840
Better but not great. Not yet anyways, I'll need to keep practicing if I want to get better.
pun intended or just spelling error?
ah. Was hard to tell with all the times you used 'your' instead of 'you're' and 'to' instead of 'too'.
That's not saying much. My little cousins are more than a match for the royal guard.
Asian dude at a school desk:" Ha! GAAYY-EEEEE!"
You really need a proof-reader, bud. Spellcheck does ONLY that: check your spelling. It doesn't tell you if you're using the correct words for the sentence or if you're missing a word.
10134646
"Was hard to tell with all the times you used 'your' instead of 'you're' and 'to' instead of 'too'."
Ahh. Homonyms have always given me trouble. Thanks for pointing that out I'll be shure to look this over again and make corrections once this is complete.
10134656
Oh my, how embarrassing! your right that one missing word does makes that sentence sound pretty gay.
Fixed! Thanks for spotting that. You've got a sharp eye, I have considered finding myself a proof-reader, but I'm afraid I don't write frequently enough to keep one busy.
Just read the first chapter, and so far I'm loving this character! Nice work.
10134694
It's a problem a lot of people have, whether english is a first or second language, and no matter how long it's studied.
There are definitely mistakes, especially in the first chapter, but they get less as the story goes on.
Some capitalizations that need to be fixed. Might be more.
Really and sure are misspelled.
Overall really liking the fic. Cant wait to see how Ignatius gets out of this one.
Welp. He's dead. So much for that. XD
10143295
"CRINGE"....
....OK i think I got it all fixed! Thanks for pointing out all of those capitalization errors, I really appreciate it. Capitalization is one of the areas in which I need to improve.
Hmm...
shuresure andshugarsugar are two words I'm constantly misspelling I normally catch those on my own but this one seems to have slipped through the cracks.Thanks again for pointing out those errors. I really appreciate it, I try to turn each one into a lesson so that I might improve as a writer.
10143779
(Looks at the chapter, refreshes it a few times, then looks it over again before looking at you)
You sure about that? Looks the same as how the other guy pointed out.
10148472
Oops, looks like i forgot to save after i made some of those corrections.
Should look alot better now.
10148947
Yeah, gotta manually save every time you make a change. This site doesn't have auto save like other story-based sites and apps do.
This is getting better with each new chapter.
Looked through the first six chapters, fixed a bunch of errors, it's still not perfect but at least its tidier.
You should mark this as complete by the way. Unless your gonna do a epilogue.
10161144
I'm currently rereading the story in its entirety, searching for any loose ends that need tying up in the short epilogue I plan to write.
But don't worry I'll switch it over to complete once it's published.
I can think of few things more annoying than an incomplete story that the author was too lazy to Finnish.
Omg I love the interaction btwn Iron and Razor at the end lol.
You forgot the e in Princess.
10161797
Thank you glad you liked it
10161803
and... fixed! Thanks for spotting that.
Is this story nothing but cliches stacked on cliches?
10162341
I don't know? probably?
Truth be told, when I first started writing this it was strictly to entertain myself. I didn't really believe that anyone was actually going to read it. I'm really more suited to telling stories around a campfire than actually writing.
But I was having fun so I continued to write and the more I wrote the better I got and the better I got the more I could see how terrible I was.
Much to my surprise people were actually reading my story and some of them liked it?
I've always believed if your going to do some thing do it well so i got some books and started teaching myself how to
writewrite better. So if you can read through the terrible second person perspective, overcomplicated plot, and awful cliches then I would honestly appreciate you criticism. And don't hold back I really wanna know what makes you go Uhhg this story is awful because... or What was the author thinking why did they write it like that?...10162559
You know what, I think I can do that for you. I was going to stop reading this story outright but, you asks... and that is a lot more than most would do and I applaud you for that. Whether my critique of your story is good or bad you had the fucking balls to ask for it, and as far as I'm concerned that deserves praise.