1. Member Since 14th Aug, 2012
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SapphireLibra3


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Play this song first!

Twilight Sparkle has always been looking forward to her 21st birthday.  It's the day that she's finally recognized as an adult mare, but also the day she's finally able to learn magic on the highest level.  What should have been a great day though, turns out to be the most horrific day in her life.  She finds a prophesy talking about the next great evil in Equestria, and it's HER!  Now she's falling, slowly becoming the very evil she swore to fight against, and not even her closest friends can pick her up in time.  In the end, she may even...

Apple Bloom is tired of being the last in her class to not have her Cutie Mark, but her friends Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo aren't going in the right direction to get their Cutie Marks, and she knows it.  In order to get her Cutie Mark the right way, Apple Bloom begins to have thoughts of separating from her friends, and getting her Cutie Mark on her own.  But her search for her Cutie Mark opens up to a major mystery in Equestria, and Apple Bloom will discover much more than just her special talent...

friends become enemies...

destinies are revealed...

light fades into the darkness...

and through it all, a hero is born...

This is the first main story in the series.

New cover art by my friend The Spectralist.

Link to the TV Tropes page!

First Published
15th Aug 2012
Last Modified
2nd Sep 2012
#1 · 122w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

I will most definitely give this a read. It has potential.

#2 · 122w, 5d ago · 1 · · Chapter 1 ·

Twilight Sparkle would, in fact, be the greatest antagonist ever known to Equestrian history. She produced a love charm that affected half of Ponyville, for crying out loud, and it didn't even take too much effort.

#3 · 122w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

I real like it. Im excited to read the next chapters as they come oly to get my happinrss for twi crushed. U msy eant to proof read it tho

#4 · 122w, 5d ago · 2 · · Chapter 1 ·

Yes....Shes finally come to her senses...:pinkiecrazy:

#5 · 122w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

>>1090123 I'm totally agree with you:twilightsmile:... The story has great potencial:trixieshiftright:.... I'm kidding!:flutterrage: MOAAAARR!!  

T6
#6 · 122w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

I remember reading this some time ago somewhere else, to be honest can't remember where, but my god, is it good! :twilightsmile:

#7 · 122w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Whatever happens next chapter, I will be there.

#8 · 122w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

well i will say it: THIS IS AWESOME!!!!! dark, has the pontental to make me cringe in fear, keep this going

#9 · 122w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

You're title title is a real attention grabber will defiantly give this a read

#10 · 122w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

You have arrived! :pinkiehappy: I was waiting on this to show up here! Can't wait for you to post the rest of the story! Oh, and nice art. Fits the story nicely. :twilightsmile:

Oh, and insta-favorite/watch!

#11 · 122w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

>>1090270 I remember reading this on fanfiction.net, if that helps.

#12 · 122w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

YOU GET MY MEANIE REVIEW BUT SHORTENED DUE TO THE LARGE AMOUNT IVE GIVEN RECENTLY

you have a major problem all new authors have or old ones who were not told otherwise

you need to follow the rule show don't tell. you need to describe more often and im tempted to copy and paste a review i just did on someone else's story but that doesn't fit completely

note meanie reviews do not get any of the good things said about them so i can review faster so dont think your story is not good

#13 · 122w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Feel that? It was my Favorite! keep up the good work!

T6
#14 · 122w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

That's the one Musharna!

#15 · 122w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Read it on Fanfiction.net. Nice to see it here on Fimfiction.

#16 · 122w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

>>1090123

If you ever read "The Immortal Game" it shows just how right you are.  Twilight Sparkle is an absolutely terrifying antagonist.

#17 · 122w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

It's strange, not 5 days ago I read this on FanFiction and now it's here. Well, if I hadn't read it already I would say that the story has potential and that I'd be tracking it, having read the whole thing I can say it's a good story and I'm glad to see it, and you, here on FimFiction. Welcome.

#18 · 122w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Awesome introduction, can't wait for more!

#19 · 122w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

I just want to make this comment to let you know how pissed, butthurt, and furious I am that you've already began writing a story that I've been mulling over in my head for almost a year now.

FUCK. :raritydespair:

#20 · 122w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

D'oh, I've already read a ton of it on Fanfiction, the next 14-some chapters are gonna be spoiled for me... awww...

You're still awesome.

#21 · 122w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Why is spike not a main character in this ?

#22 · 122w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Already read this on FanFiction. Glad you came over and joined the party! :pinkiehappy:

#23 · 122w, 5d ago · 1 · · Chapter 1 ·

The prophecy is a bit direct don't you think? could just as well have said "here is a picture of the Evil. fear it"

Never the less, great story, looking forward to the rest.

#24 · 122w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

This story is gonna be so AWESOME!

can't wait for the next chapter! keep up the great work!:heart:

#25 · 122w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

>>1090112 oh, hello slendy. i didnt see you there, hows it hanging... (avatar)

#26 · 122w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

can wait for moar!!! this has too much potential to just ignore!!!!!!!!

#27 · 122w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

I just finished reading this on fan fiction for the second time yesterday so I'm so excited too see it here as well.

#28 · 122w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

hmm i think i've already seen this on fanfiction but gona have to check.....but anyway this certainly a eyecatcher....>.>....but the blunt statement pinkie almost said kinda bugs me :duck:, idk why, probably the thought of what that meant for the other 5 but whatever not important lol...:twilightoops:

#29 · 122w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

That was good. I caught one small puntuation error, but other than that, can't wait for Chapter 2.

#30 · 122w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

The last sentence I believe to be false. Where it states "Twilight does not believe in coincidences." She used "Its just a coincidence" when she learned about pinkie's Pinkie sense.

#31 · 122w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

If I was Twilight in that point i would probably send Celestia a letter just in case, because i have a feeling that Twilight won't be the same when she wakes up... I have a very bad feeling about this (I love it though) :twilightsmile:

#32 · 122w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Nicely done. Everything felt natural and flowed quite nicely. You've incorporated the fun of the show, while still showing how things can, and usually do, go south. Very nice introduction.

#33 · 122w, 5d ago · 1 · · Chapter 1 ·

When she got into the kitchen she saw a plate of food, nicely prepared with scrambled eggs, turkey bacon (Twilight didn't eat pork) toast, and orange juice

Turkey Bacon

Uuuuh, what? :rainbowhuh:

#35 · 122w, 5d ago · 1 · · Chapter 1 ·

>>1091453

Yes.. CHECK IT NAO! :twilightangry2:

Also yep this is a pretty awesome fic, read it in fanfic, if you can't wait for the next chapters go search for it there same author name.. also read the two sequels on it... <3 it and awesome to know you have joined fimfic Sapphire. Welcome :pinkiecrazy:

#36 · 122w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

>>1091421 This is an earlier file, that was supposed to be changed.  I plan on adjusting that soon.

#37 · 122w, 5d ago · 1 · · Chapter 1 ·

Let the epic tale begin! :yay:

#38 · 122w, 5d ago · 1 · · Chapter 1 ·

......Why does Twilight eat turkey?

#39 · 122w, 5d ago · 1 · · Chapter 1 ·

When she got into the kitchen she saw a plate of food, nicely prepared with scrambled eggs, turkey bacon (Twilight didn't eat pork) toast, and orange juice

.

.

.

.

BACON?!!!! :rainbowhuh: ponies don't eat meat, silly

#40 · 122w, 5d ago · 1 · · Chapter 1 ·

write Celestia a letter in the morning, I have a feeling that in the middle of the day or somewhere when she either dozes off or wakes up she is going to be a lot more evil than before.

#41 · 122w, 5d ago · 1 · · Chapter 2 ·

Wow. I would have never thought of this. You sir have some potential in story writing. Keep up the great work!

#42 · 122w, 5d ago · 1 · · Chapter 1 ·

Anticipation's building...

Can't wait for the next one!

Going great for this story! Flow was there, natural MLP feel was there, everything! Instant-fave!

#43 · 122w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 2 ·

SNOT ME!! That's what Twilight said in the end there, true story... :twilightsheepish:

#44 · 122w, 5d ago · 2 · · Chapter 1 ·

Drinking age of 21? Real ponies start drinking at 18.

#45 · 122w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 2 ·

Holy sweet Celestia ! :rainbowderp:

#46 · 122w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 2 ·

great opening chapter:pinkiehappy: i don't have time right now to read the newly released second chapter right now, but ill get to that later.

a few things of note:

formatting issues:

in the early parts of the first chapter, there are some formatting issues.

Sure enough, the library hadn't looked so clean.

abrupt end to that sentence, you would usually follow up with something; "hadn't looked so clean yesterday" or something like that

causing her magic to go out of control (she later on in life learned that this was Rainbow Dash's Sonic Rainboom.)

when you think about it; brackets "()" are usually not necessary, they can actually disrupt the flow at times.

as a side note: if you have multiple chapters already done, maybe even the whole story, then don't release to many a day please, it's harder to keep reading when you keep piling up new chapters, and if the story isn't finished yet; you get to keep a buffer.

#47 · 122w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 2 ·

Oh, this made it to fimfiction did it? Neat.

#48 · 122w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 2 ·

Ooooh I will for sure be reading this. Such an interesting concept, has very much potential to become a great, great story.

#49 · 122w, 5d ago · 1 · · Chapter 1 ·

>>1091547 Hear hear! Legal drinking age in Alberta is 18!

Who is this "God" of whom Twilight speaks of?

May the Grace of the Valar Protect You

Shire Folk

#50 · 122w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Too many "Gods" (the usage of it as a curse word doesn't exist in Equestria as they have a living goddess,)  and some issues with formatting, but otherwise a great start.

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