'Under Delights' Comedy Club

by Tropical Octave

Under Delights: Set the Stage

"Good news Ms. Ovations, 'Under Delights' is nearing completion."

Standing Ovations wore a sly grin. "Perfect. Now all we need is to spread the word that we're open for business."

"But, ma'am, we don't even have any acts yet. How are we gonna draw ponies in? The waitress asked, scratching her head in confusion.

The olive colored unicorn chuckled, placing a fore-hoof around her assistants neck. "They'll come. I have a feeling everybody will want to throw their hat into the ring.

"Everybody ma'am?"

The owner of Ponyville's newest comedy club threw her head back, laughing to the heavens.

"Yes, my faithful assistant. Everybody."

Nopony knew it yet, but Ponyville was about to become the center of a comedy whirlwind the likes of which had never been experienced before.

Earlier That Same Month...

The mayor's office was in disarray. Papers were everywhere, messages needed to be sent, and, worst of all, the box labeled 'Complaints & Suggestions' was filled to the brim.

"Shelly Shores! Get in here quick!" The mayor shouted from behind her desk.

Her assistant, Shelly Shores, was an amethyst colored unicorn mare desperately trying to get on the mayor's good side.

Shelly tumbled through the doors of the office, raising a hoof to her head in a salute. "Right here ma'am!"

The mayor tried to retain some form of dignity, but quickly decided it was no use. "Shelly, I'll be honest with you. Ponyville has absolutely no entertainment in it. There's nothing at all to distract anypony from their insignificant lives,"

Shelly Shores gulped, she wasn't sure whether she liked where this was going or not. Unfortunately, if it pleased the mayor, she would endure her tirade.

The mayor clapped her fore-hooves together, snapping Shelly back to reality.

"Shelly? Are you even listening to me?"

"Y-y-yes s..ehh, ma'am! I'm all ears!"

The mayor twirled a pencil between her hooves, eyeballing the assistant sarcastically. "Then what did I just say..."

Oh Celestia...what do I do? What do I say? Think of something Shelly!

"How you...wanted to build a comedy club in Ponyville?"

That was so wrong Shelly! The mayor would never do something as stupid as--

"Hold that thought!" The mayor sat up from her desk, trotting over to her assistant. "That's brilliant!"

"It is?" Shelly's mind slapped itself, thinking of how she apparently thought of a great idea by chance.

The mayor laughed heartily. "Yes! It is! Just think about it, Ponyville's own comedy club," The mayor grabbed Shelly by the neck as she beckoned towards the ceiling. "We'll make millions!"

The assistant's face was a mixture of happiness, shock, and relief as Mayor Mare shook her at the shoulders.

"M-m-millions?" Shelly stuttered, barely able to stand after the vigorous shaking she just endured.

Mayor Mare's face lit up like a jack-o-lantern on Nightmare Night. "Yes, my dear! And do you know what we can do with millions?"

"Prance?"

"Yes! Pran- No! Fix this Celestia-forsaken town! Quite honestly, I can't believe you SAID that."

Shelly shrugged. "Just a joke ma'am."

The mayor forgot about Shelly's ramblings, instead turning to flip through a thick yellow book.

Shelly, unable to prevent herself, poked her had over the mayor's shoulders.

"Whatcha readin'?"

The mayor wore a concerned look now, worrying the assistant.

"Do you know anypony willing to own a comedy club? Because I certainly don't."

A bead of sweat began to form on the mayor's brow as she continued to flip through the thick yellow book.

"Actually..." Shelly started, now looking into the mayor's eyes with a slight grin.

"Shelly...are you keeping something from me? You know you're my assistant, so, spill the beans."

Being an amateur comic herself, Shelly comically tipped over an empty can of beans sitting on the mayor's desk.

The mayor laughed. "You've got to be kidding me...you're the comedian? You're joking right?"

Shelly only laughed, forgetting she was talking to her boss.

"No, but I do have a friend from out of town. She's interested in all things comedy, so I'm sure she'd love to help out! For a nominal fee, of course."

The mayor face-hooved. "Yeah...of course. But I'll do anything to keep my town out of the dumps, and complaints off my desk..." The last part the mayor mumbled mostly to herself.

"Heh, well I suppose I should send her a letter then.," Shelly started to turn to leave. "Catch ya later mayor."

The mayor returned to her paper-work with a cringe, but noticed she had forgotten an important detail.

"Shelly! Wait!"

The assistant turned her head towards the mayor. "Yes?"

"What is your friends name? For publicity and all..."

Shelly stared at the floor, embarrassed at the mayor's point. "How clumsy of me...her name's Ovation. Standing Ovation."

Present Time...

"So, Spike. What's going on with you?" The spiritless lavender unicorn asked, finally coming to terms with her boredom.

Spike on the other hoof, was only realizing how bored he really was.

"I'm just finishing 'Equestrian Taxes N' Stuff' and, I must say, it was a thorough read."

"Is that even a real book?"

Twilight slumped further into her sofa, letting the soft cushions consume the entirety her small frame.

"You know Spike, it's a time like this where I really wish I still had my--"

*CRASH*

"Sweet Celestia! My mailbox!" Twilight shouted, nearly face-planting as she scurried off the couch.

Spike, not as shocked as he would've been years ago, just looked out the window at the sight before him.

"Oh Derpy...you're antics never get old..."

Twilight rushed out the door too the mail-mare's side.

The situation in front of Twilight was, well, let's just say for convenience's sake, messy.

One; Derpy had her head stuck in the mailbox. Rather comically I might add.

Two; fliers were strewn through out the street like a tornado had torn through town.

And three; Muffins. Muffins Everywhere.

"Derpy? Are you okay? Here, let me help you...out...of that...mailbox!" Twilight grunted, managing to free the ditzy neighbor from her postal-prison.

"Gee, thanks Twilight! It's a good thing you ca-" Derpy stopped, one eye staring at the mess while another into Twilight's soul.

"D-derpy? Is something wrong?" Twilight cocked an eyebrow, now confused as to why the mail-mare had become a statue.

Spike, now arriving on the scene, stopped to pick up one of the few dozen fliers littering their lawn.

"Hey Twilight, when did Ponyville decide to construct a comedy club?"

Spike casually read through the flier, not paying any attention to Twilight's attempts to break the mail-mare from her spell.

"Hmm...'Under Delights? What a cheesy name. Then again, Icould use this as a chance impress Ponyville..."

Spike figured out a couple formulas in his head.

Spike + Comedy + Fame = Lovers. Lovers = The Hearts of Millions.

And, through deductive reasoning, Spike figured at least one of those millions of hearts would be Rarity's.

"Twilight! I know what I'm gonna do today!"

"That's great Spike. Tell me in a minute."

Twilight Sparkle had finally snapped Derpy out of her trance, levitating a muffin before her muzzle.

"Gee Twilight, it's a good thing you came along when you did! B-but, now I can't finish delivering these fliers."

Derpy was right. The fliers were everywhere. Fortunately, the librarian bookworm knew a spell to help her.

With a wink, Twilight's horn burst into a magenta colored aura, transporting the fliers to every house that needed one.

Derpy went slack-jaw as her wings shot up. "Wow! That was amazing Twilight! You deserve a muffin for that!"

The mail-mare took a muffin from her bag and nudged it to Twilight. "There ya go!"

Twilight blushed. "It was nothing, really Derpy. I'm just glad I could help is all."

Derpy looked at her wrist, pretending she was checking the time. "Oh dear! Auditions for the opening act are going to close tomorrow! See ya later Twilight!" And with that, Derpy was off into the sunset.

"Auditions? For what?" Asked Twilight to nopony in particular.

"For the new comedy club of course!"

Twilight jumped several feet into the air.

"Gah! Pinkie! When the- How the? Wha...never mind. I've give up on trying to understand you. But please, do go on."

Pinkie's smile was so wide it looked like it would split her head. "Silly Twilight, 'Under Delights' comedy club! You mean you didn't just get a flier?"

Twilight looked over at Spike, now filling out a fill-in-the-blank application.

"Well, Spike did apparently. And did you say 'Under Delights'? Celestia that's cheesy."

Pinkie only scoffed. "I think it's kinda clever! I'm on my down there now to see if I can get an act! You wanna come too Twilight?"

Twilight dug a hoof into the dirt path sheepishly. "Well Pinkie, I'm about as good at comedy as I am dancing."

Pinkie chuckled, then smiled at Twilight. "Oh Twi, you'll never know until you try!"

Twilight Sparkle swore she started to hear music in the air. Oh no. This could only mean...

"Luck, chance, comedy, Prance. You never know where you'll go when you're...Fa-mous!
Will you go far, dance in the stars, you never know when you're...Fa-mous!
Life's a game, puns or shame, it doesn't matter if you're...Fa-mous!
Now Twilight, listen here, let auntie Pinkie make you cheer, when you're shown the spotlight you--"

"Okay! Fine! I'll audition...Just stop the music please!"

Pinkie came down from the cloud she was standing on as the cello mysteriously vanished. "Okie Dokie Loki!"

Spike, as the gentledragon he is, applauded the pink songstress.

"Brava Pinkie! Brava!"

Pinkie curtsied, now falling in line with Twilight as the three walked towards the new comedy club.

---

"Wow...there are a lot of ponies in here." Twilight blurted upon entering 'Under Delights'.

The three looked around the building, taking in the sights and sounds of Ponyville's newest attraction.

'Under Delights' didn't hold back on the budget at all. The club had a fully operational bar with staff, the main grounds had dining tables and booths where ever available. And probably the most notably was the gorgeous stage lavished in red.

Off to the corner, a mini-orchestra was playing what sounded like some sort of jazzy tune. Twilight and Spike enjoyed the beat, while Pinkie thought it needed a more up-beat sound to it.

Almost every table was filled with both strangers and townsfolk alike, all eager to see who will be the first ever comedian to show their stuff.

Pinkie Pie's face lit up as the lights went down. "Oh oh oh, Twilight! The show's starting!"

"Yes, I can see. I wonder who'll volunteer first..."

The spotlight now focused in on an olive colored unicorn mare adorned in show attire. With a curly golden mane, the mare proceeded to shush the crowd.

"Okay everyone, settle down. Please, the show is-" Asking nicely wasn't working...as always. "SETTLE DOWN!"

Everypony in the room immediately became quiet as a cloud.

Standing Ovation tipped her hat. "Gotcha. Now, on to the comedy!"

The crowd applauded vigorously.

"Good, good. Now folks, here at 'Under Delights', we select who comes up to the stand by a vote. You write down who you want to come up and BAM, we get their flank up here. Just remember folks...you can pick anybody you know to come up. It doesn't matter who they are, or what they are for that matter because,"

Standing Ovation pointed the mic in the direction of the audience.

The audience was clueless.

Standing face-hooved. "Everything's funny 'Under Delights!'"

The crowd repeated the chant.

"Fantastic...so, who is going to be the lucky sucker to come up first? YOU decide! Because..."

"Everyone's funny 'Under Delights'"!

Comments

[Tropical Octave]

*Face-Hoof*
Boy, that was something.
I blame it on to many flavor-blasted goldfish depriving my brain of coherent thoughts. Oh Well!
I'm sure everybody loves a good laugh, and I laughed at it. So, deductive reasoning would lead me to believe that you laughed at it as well!
I guess for the first guest, the first person to suggest someone wins! lol.

P.S. Goldfish.
wemakethefunny.com/wp-content/uploads/goldfish.jpg
That is all.

[Cascadejackal]

I'm hoping Pinkie volunteers Twilight!
And that Trixie shows up later, too. Probably get booed off the stage, but whatever.

[Kolth]

Let's see some Derpy up there!

And I like the potential this has.

[Zytharros]

Get Iron Will up there. Have Fluttershy and Twilight roast him.

[Tropical Octave]

1085295>>1085297 Woah, people actually read this? I figured it would just stroll off the main page in a casual manner.
In my time since this has been on the main page, I wrote another story. A one-shot about Trollestia in a drunken stupor and such.
It will be submitted momentarily lol.
Also, I guess I can continue this, for you two anyway.

[Tropical Octave]

1085308 III-DDDEEEAAA!
'The Roast of Iron Will'. A short story where he is, well, roasted by the occupants of Ponyville. Thank you!
(Maybe write that one later haha! You will be credited for the helpful hoof you gave lol!)

[Cascadejackal]

1085317 Oh, by Celestia's Sunny-Side Up Flank! Please tell me one of the other Tia's is gonna get on stage at some point!
Molestia and/or Trollestia could do a routine that would make Billy Connolly proud!

[Zytharros]

1085325
Thank you! Rock it!

[Tropical Octave]

1085334 I had an idea where she would wear a hat or something, fooling everypony in the audience. She could be on or the other...or both!

[Cascadejackal]

1085345 I can just imagine what that would do to Twilight.

[ShyYoungBrony]

I like where this is going... Keep it up!
Also, Shelly! Glad to see Virgil's still keeping Spike busy . All of you who don't get where I'm coming from, go read Virgil now!

[Ethrak]

I'd like to see some of the stallions up there. Big Mac could probably poke a lot of fun at his own "country bumpkin" image.

One of the Royal Guards could probably get a few laughs.

[Zytharros]

1085535
Model his act after that one guy who does the you might be a redneck shtick.
Big Mac gets my vote!

[KenDoStudios]

pinkie pie! im mean duh