Everyone knows the classic tale: the Three Bears leave to let their porridge cool, the naive little filly Goldilocks comes in, she does porridge. Hijinks, as the saying goes, shall thus ensue.
Dinky's got a little more behind her "re-imagining" than that, though. Her mind stands trial. Can she outwit the grim judge (big sister Amethyst)? Can she appeal to the all-loving jury (Derpy, walking disaster zone and friend of insurance sellers everywhere)?
Or will she find the chair to be much too hot? And not "just right" at all?
Chapters (1)
Cute! Although it was a bit strange for Dinky to be calling Derpy by that name instead of “mom” or something.
But cute! I like.
Derpethyst for the win! Also: Dinky gets a cutie mark that’s a keyhole with lockpicks sticking out... awesome.
It's an interesting family dynamic, but they seem to be making it work.
Wow I love this! It's so cute!
Very nice! There' nothing better than spending some good time with the family
It's nice. I thought the whole Goldilocks lead in didn't mesh with the rest quite as well as probably hoped, but certainly not to the point that the effort put into making it work regardless isn't still appreciated.
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I was thinking about that too, and it gave me the idea of maybe someday pitching all three of them as sisters trying to make it on their own in the world...but that's an idea probably best explored in a separate story.
Not my favorite take on Best Pony, but still a most enjoyable read. Thank you for it.
Firstly, thank you all for the comments! Always a pleasure to hear from fellow fans, (especially to know they like a story I published).
Now for more specific responses:
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Darn you, I can't think of anything now other than: "Dinky, Equestria's Most Wanted!" Although I imagine she'd make a very polite cat burglar, and mostly be feared by toy stores and bakeries.
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Oh yes. Cobbling together a workable dynamic from unpromising parts is what family (and friends) do best. Honestly, the fun part was giving Dinky, Derpy, and Amethyst each a distinct personality. I always enjoy putting varied characters together and watching them bounce off each other, (especially if sparks fly).
9679695
Fair enough, I can see where you're coming from. In hindsight, the opening and its connection to the rest doesn't come across very explicitly.
The idea I had was that Dinky's story at the beginning was a coded way of making her confession, because she's too nervous to make it directly. This is before Amethyst reveals she already knows. But I guess I need to make that more explicit? Of course, I'm happy to see you had fun with it either way, but it's good to get helpful feedback too.
9679843
Speaking of helpful feedback...
I'm guessing this version's a bit too far on the dim side? I leaned on it a tad more than usual for the comedy value, I'll admit. I want to avoid making her "too perfect" - it's more fun when character flaws or weaknesses make things complicated - but I can concede that I might have overdone it a tad here.
9679895
Coming soon to a bookstore near you! Next month, the release of Little Red Riding Hood: Lessons in Emergency Self-Defence.
9678594, 9679695
Re: Derpy's relationship with Dinky. I am admittedly considering something different, but now you two are giving me more ideas...
OK, so nothing really beats "Derpy Is Best Mom", true.
But we in the fandom are here to experiment with concepts, no? Plus, I do like the idea of trying different approaches to mix things up every now and then. It could be interesting.
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Glad to hear it. (Or read it, technically). Thanks for the compliments! This fic has gone further than I'd expected, and it's always a delight to see people enjoy my work. Thanks again!
9679977
And you did very well!
9679977
Ah, knowing that, now the Goldilocks thing makes much more sense. Yes, conveying more clearly/directly that this was Dinky's intent with all of that would help greatly to clarify it.
As for different approaches to the fanon...I heartily encourage it at least. I typically make it a point to look at the popular fanon and then deliberately go in a direction different from fanon (unless it's important to the story to stick with those popular fanons), very much so to encourage creativity from at least myself. And to show that fanons, as the same should imply, are not necessarily meant to be permanently set in stone.
Hmm... As head of the Prison and Punishment group, I can't say the story quite delivers on the tempting promise of it's title.
Full marks in all other areas, though!
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Well said. By the way, I've gone back and modified the first few paragraphs to make that "nervous confession" thing a bit clearer. Thanks for the feedback. It's much appreciated.
This was a sweet little story.
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9679979
Thanks.
9681045
Glad to hear it. Thank you for the comment!
9681305
You're welcome!
9681305
I just regret not having something more substantive to say
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I mainly look for two things in comments: signs of enjoyment, and/or constructive criticism. So long as you hit one of those targets, I'm a happy writer.
No. Goldilocks may not be a criminal mastermind, but it's pretty clear she has no respect for other people's property. That's the moral of the story "respect others' property".
This was cute and funny as all heck. I really had fun with it! XD
Humorous, creative, and adorable. Amethyst would make a good detective, and the back-and-forth of the siblings sparring (because they know each other so well) was spot on. Our beloved muffin mare was wonderful as always.
Apologies for replying late, to both of you.
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And thanks for saying that about my story. I'm glad you enjoyed it so.
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I intend to revisit these three at a later date with a much more ambitious project, but that takes time amid about a dozen other confounding factors, and so on. This short story was a kind of test-run for some of those ideas, so it's helpful to note what stands out for people. With that in mind, ta very much for the feedback! The Ammy-Dinky dynamic in particular is of great interest to me (for one thing, in the broader fandom, I think Ammy tends to get the shaft re: distinctive characterization, in a way that doesn't happen with Dinky and Derpy).
Am reconsidering Derpy's, though. I'm trying to strike a balance between her canon klutzy side (potential source for comedy and drama, gives her a characteristic flaw) and the more fanon Best Mother side. Too far one way, she's too clownish; too far the other, she's too perfect. So that's another reason I'm grateful for the feedback here.
Thanks again for the comments, guys!
Why didn’t I read this forever ago?! This is great. Very cute.
THis was a fun little story. I enjoyed the intractions between Derpy and her daughters.
It’s cute. Even if I don’t get where the depth dimly thing ever came from.
You can has review!
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"This review is too hot!"