Scootaloo might be no good at sums, but she knows Scootaloo plus scooter equals the fastest, awesomest, most attention-grabbing-est thing on the ground.
She also knows Applejack minus anyone actually fun to be with equals one really lame time.
And yet, spending a day with the Apple farmer and her broader Apple family seems strangely attractive to her. They might not be the most exciting of ponies, (and when it comes to cool, they're certainly the most clueless), but they have something Scootaloo really, really wants. Deep down. Something she keeps coming back for.
Not that she's going to admit it. Cos that would be seriously lame.
Chapters (1)
All right, that's the second of three Cutie Mark Crusader fics done! I'm currently editing the third one, and just for neatness' sake, I'm aiming to get Apple Bloom's fic published in about two days' time.
10562953
Hey there, I'm enjoying the Scootaloo fic. Even if I am halfway through it, I can say it is nicely written. You sure takes your time with writing these stories, don't you?
The interactions are good between the pegasus and Earth ponies. You just written a single story which I am enjoying reading. Good job, Impossible. It's one of the couple that I find interest in. You're doing a splendid job with writing between the three friends who find themselves in their family quality time (it's what this can be called, isn't it?)
Looking forward to more!
10562974
You'd be surprised. Really, though, I like to be thorough in my approach.
And thank you for the lovely comment. Writing's all very well, but I really enjoy seeing people have a good time with my fics.
This story was nice.
A new perspective of scootaloo to the apple family and its price.
She never noticed how cool they could be.
Something she learned to well see.
Filled with oodles of details in a slice of life format.
This story is not something to walk over like a doormat.
I just with there was some outer conflict to see.
But for what it's going for, it's as cute as can be!
9/10
This story delivers well.
10563286
Huh, comments in rhyme. Don't see that very often: couplet criticism needs to be a thing.
Because I wouldn't be me if I didn't ask: Do you mean the fic would have been better if there had been more open conflict between Applejack and Scootaloo? That's my best interpretation of your line at present.
Hey, thanks!
10563449
No, more like something to spice up the story. Like a outside factor or thing. But that's just my preference. Maybe a manticore attacks the party or something, idk
This was cool, Scootaloo gets to 'be a part of a family' and gets to be the center of attention at the same time.
Although I wonder (again) where fan fiction authors get this whole 'Scootaloo is so emotionally fragile that she falls apart at the turn of a back' idea from. This isn't the first time I've seen her written this way but I still don't agree with it; but I do agree with how you wrote everyone else, especially Granny Smith.
I can't tell if that obliviousness was deliberate or not. I thought it was, then her later reply said otherwise
I remember a fic gave her the last name of Equili. Scootaloo Danger Equili has a good ring to it.
Gotta love the "Anger born of worry" trope
Now THAT'S a phrase
All in all, another good story, though it feels just a TAD too long. Not really sure what would need to be shortened, since all the individual scenes are great.
Typical contradictory behavior of emotionally conflicted children.
That one stings a bit, though.
Probably the most important line of the story.
Scootaloo often feels like a rogue banana, I'm sure. Another good one, showing how such different ponies as her and Applejack can find common ground, and even look awesome doing it.
Looking forward to the next story.
According to Hasbro, Winona is a border collie. They do herd sheep, but "sheepdog" is a particular BREED of dog & Winona ain't it.
10563666
Funny you should mention that, actually, because I wouldn't mind writing a fic which includes that kind of external threat as well as internal character conflict, (as you say, to spice it up). The show's been quite good at times balancing the two for effect, and it'd help push my "action quota" up a notch.
10563672
Well, I don't know about "emotionally fragile", but I think there is something to be said for the idea that Scootaloo is (deep down) sensitive about certain things like family and flying. Her relationship with Rainbow Dash seems to blend "devoted fan" with "close sister", which are two very different ways of approaching a familiar relationship, and we know she has some fear issues, rejection issues, and self-consciousness issues from "Sleepless in Ponyville" and "Flight to the Finish". Plus, her resistance to sappiness and longing for praise in "Ponyville Confidential" and "Parental Glideance", respectively, add fuel to the fires of speculation.
It was something I wanted to get at in this fic, the idea that Scootaloo's simultaneously after something personal she desires and very resistant to admitting it.
10563691
Now I think about it, perhaps the pacing issue is in the first half? The apple orchard and the yard with the benches appear twice as Scootaloo goes back and forth, and on a re-read, it doesn't feel like as much is accomplished then as in the second half, when actual actions and consequences build up. Plus, it's a really long stretch of a scene with no breaks for the longest time.
Perhaps that's the source of the feeling? I think it'd be worth me making a note of that, because I might want to streamline such scenes in the future.
10563762
Yep! Scootaloo is one of those kids who wants something kinda sappy, but will go to the ends of the earth rather than ever admit it.
And that line, I'm inordinately happy with. It's that sort of omnipresent security and acceptance that I wanted to get across.
10563799
I thought "What comparison would make Scootaloo feel like a stranger among Apples?" and "banana" just popped into my head. Dunno why a "rogue" one specifically, but I liked the effect.
Weirdly enough, I did consider a bit where the lasso was on fire too, but that felt like overkill (and really questionable child safety). Although it does sound like an idea Scootaloo would throw into the ring.
10564114
Great! Should be ready for submission tomorrow, though it's still in the editing stage at present.
10564495
I think this is a bit too narrow. While there are breeds such as the "Old English Sheepdog" and "Catalan Sheepdog" with a capital S, when it comes to lowercase s "sheepdog", it is a recognized noun in the dictionary that can be used this way. I checked it on dictionary.com recently.
10564877
Winona | My Little Pony Friendship is Magic Wiki | Fandom
"R'over R'ere!"
"Hi Toph! What are you doing here?"
Scootaloo getting in over her head? Never.
I really liked the story, but I would just be repeating others comments.
The Dash clan has acted more like a family to Scoots than Scootaloo's blood relatives ever have.
Yay! A story about the two best characters on the show!
10565019
I was fully expecting someone to pick up the Scooby-Doo thing (not that I wrote it as a reference: I wrote it that way first, realized what I'd just done, and then felt amused enough to leave it in there).
The Toph thing... I was actually going for an "earth ponies are closer to Nature" vibe, with a bit of "they need some experience at it first", but I'm not objecting to another fortuitous parallel. I love the Avatar series.
Mainly, I've always wanted to give earth ponies their own element-based skillset, similar to pegasi with wind/water and unicorns with magic and astronomy.
And of course, I'm happy to see you liked the story!
10566153
Just out of curiosity, when you say the "Dash clan", do you mean "Rainbow Dash and her blood relatives", or "Rainbow Dash and her friends (such as the Apple family)", or both, or something else entirely? It's all right; it's just the phrasing "Dash clan" and the context of the story are kind of throwing me off.
10566615
I'm thrilled - positively thrilled - to see so many people enjoying these stories so much. I don't usually draw this much of a crowd. It's a little overwhelming. Fantastic! But still a bit overwhelming.
10567086
I saw the chance to make to make a joke and I took it. I do like the "Earth Ponies tied to Nature" thing, but the seismic sense stuff reminded me of Toph.
10567117
Now you've mentioned the Avatar connection, I really like the idea of mapping the three pony tribes onto all four elements. Earth pony = earth, so the Toph comparison makes a lot of sense. Pegasi get a twofer: water (because of their weather management) and air (the same, but owes more to their flying skills), both being fluid. Unicorns don't fit particularly well with fire, since magic's more complicated, but it sorta works by elimination. And alicorns are the Avatars, Masters of All Four Elements.
10567131
Fire (pure fire) is born of passion (corrupted fire is born of hatred). An unicorn like Twilight (pre-alicorn), Moondancer, Trixie, Starlight and Sunset had a passion for magic, so the comparison would fit.
Loved it :)
10567142
Hm... fire as passion (and being capable of corruption) works really well, actually. Not necessarily literal fire, but fire as a metaphor for drive and energy. That works for me!
Tangentially, I think the water one could be split into two aspects and one given to the earth ponies. The literal water is still in the pegasus domain, because of their ability to control rain and so on, but the more nurturing side and the close, emotional bonds of the original Water Tribe in the show I think both fit well with e.g. Applejack's kinship focus and Pinkie Pie's enthusiastic social life.
Plus, the Water Tribe is said to be adaptable, and earth ponies tend to be the most varied in the show, since they appear in all kinds of contexts, jobs, and so on. At least, that's what I think.
10567204
10567250
In the episode where Zuko and Aang find the last two Dragons, they are told that to use true firebending, they needed passion, not hate. Hate is what all fire users used after they was told that the last dragons died.
Also, Toph said that Earth Bending is direct and something you need to face head on. Since Air is its opposite, Air Bending is more creative solutions to a problem. Fire and water are also opposites, water, is as you said, adaptability. Thus fire is drive and energy.
I'm just reiterating it because it explains why Iroh can fire bend since he doesn't show a lot of anger. Most fire benders in the show were hot heads (no pun intend), except Iroh.
Thoroughly enjoyed this story. Would love to see another Applejack and Scootaloo. They seem like an odd couple, but ended up getting along so well.
10567086
Mean RD and her parents.
Family is something they have in common, even if they never talk about it openly. Applejack has a big extended family but lost her parents at a young age, Scootaloo keeps in touch with her family but she's noticeably more detached from them. They're both very independent and stubborn, toughened up by their own personal experiences.
10567477
When writing each CMC for these three fics, there was always that one theme where it just clicked for me. For Scootaloo and Applejack, that theme clicked pretty early and naturally as "family".
I was especially reminded of their scenes in "Sleepless in Ponyville": Applejack can clearly tell something's bothering Scootaloo, but each time Scootaloo puts a lid on it, AJ doesn't press the point. I thought that was a lovely detail, very motherly of her, and a nice extra bit of evidence that Scootaloo is really not comfortable talking about her insecurities if she can just skip over them breezily.
10568375
Ah, I see. Yes, there's a reason the first half of "Parental Glideance" is one of my favourite Scootaloo moments (it's literally half an episode of her and Rainbow's parents squeeing like mad, and it is adorable and funny as all get-out).
10569194
Now you've said that, I wish I could have worked in the "missing parents" connection between them somewhere. That would have been a perfect emotional moment. Maybe I'll save it for another fic later on instead.
That was a good story.
An oddball ghost happened across your fic and read it. Have a review!
11313085
Sorry I'm so late in replying - blame procrastination and memory for tag-teaming me on this one - but: thank you very much for the nice comment.
11621114
Awesome!
I really enjoyed this story.
11866200
Thanks!
11866206
You’re welcome.