• Member Since 15th Jun, 2014
  • offline last seen Yesterday

DeltaXeno1138


I like FiM, Star Wars, and Tarantino

Comments ( 17 )

Is this real life? Another TrixiexJckpot story? Oh man oh man cant wait for it.

The story is really good so far great job with great pairing.

Man I’m really loving this, kind of hope neither of them figure out about the other in the end.

This is insane. What a fantastic job the buikdup the dialoges everything seems to work together to get to the point what everyone waits. Woukd recommend cant wait for next one.

Nice chapter, but spotted a couple things you may want to edit.

"Would you do me the honor of acoompanying me for an aftershow lunch date, Ms. Trixie? I feel you deserve it."

That should be "accompanying"

While Jack Pot escorted her to the lunch spot of her choice, Trixie lightly batted his tail hers.

Ans I think a word's missing there.

9706646 Fixed. Thank you for pointing those out.

Oh, Trixie. How true is that statement?!

Great job! Keep going!:moustache:

What is there to talk about? Impregnating your daughter is one of the hottest things you could ever do.

Very nice chapter. Just a few things I feel the need to point out.

. Two seperate, small ziplock bags with a hair from him and a hair from Trixie he managed to swipe followed soon after.

First off, "separate" is misspelled. Secondly, an actual hair follicle doesn't really have the material one can use for a DNA test. It pretty much only works if your get the root or possible some skin from it.

"Well, I loved this game when I was filly, but I never won anything. And I never had a father or special to win anything for me"

I think you want to add a word between "special" and "to", like "somepony". And lastly, I think you're missing a comma at the end of this sentence.
Still, I really enjoyed this chapter and look forward to more.

9715410 Thanks for pointing out the mistakes. Fixed. Damn autocorrect must’ve gotten rid of the pony in somepony.

I may think about changing the DNA thing. It just seemed like the easiest way he could get some kind of sample. And I’ve seen hair used in fiction.

9715590
Perhaps some saliva he got from her wine glass?

9715605 Or any cup she was drinking from

Oh man oh man that was insane. Sound like a broken record now but more please.

that was quite enjoyable. a satisfying ending :twilightsmile:

Exactly as I expected it to end. You didnt disappoint auther. Just kidding. The ending was so sweet that this one goes straight into favorites.

He did it! He said the title of the story!:pinkiehappy:

Great job! Very enjoyable story!:moustache:

"60% of the time it works all the time."

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