That was a pretty good story, makes me glad I didn't go to an American school. We don't get social divisions like that over here in Blighty Some formatting and grammatical problems, nothing that detracts too much from the story however. In the beginning, you overcapitalise a bit. The only words that need capitals are those at the start of sentences, names, places and that's pretty much it. I look forward to more
FIRST HAHA
jk
You need to correct some of the more obvious syntax errors. Im not saying its good or bad, that just needs to be taken care of.
a little rough around the edges but not bad by any means nice story :).
I like the story but your grammar and spelling mistakes makes me want to kill myself
I dont know about the whole shy thing but i like the story.
as in shy i mean calling her SHY
just wondering, is this a feels post? if so I wont read, I hate feels
fucking hell, that was a good story, screw the typos, screw the bad grammar, that was a bloody great story
That is very nice story.
I'll get to work on the typos and syntax. Any other requests?
Ok, I capitalized Fluttershy's Name, and fixed some grammatical errors. I also made some sentences flow better. Any other requests?
i am enjoying this story and i think it would be a wise decision to continue.
Thank you Jadders. I am currently writing the second part. Im making it flow better, and I plan to make various improvements.
That was a pretty good story, makes me glad I didn't go to an American school. We don't get social divisions like that over here in Blighty Some formatting and grammatical problems, nothing that detracts too much from the story however. In the beginning, you overcapitalise a bit. The only words that need capitals are those at the start of sentences, names, places and that's pretty much it. I look forward to more
Ill fix it, I desperately need a prereader though.
I fixed some stuff, like you said.
goodbye? WRONG it would just be bye
bye and goodbye mean two diffrent things
It's a nice story, and I have to admit those douches in the school really makes me want to them.
wow.
fluttershy's first day:
WORST. DAY.
EVER.
OF ALL TIME.
and I thought I had problems on my first day last year!