Yeah, It's ok bro. I can never finish a chapter without having do some alot of stuff around the house or hapening events. And cause of that I'm running out of ideas for my third chapter. I'm going through a writers nightmare atm. But anyways sexy chapter and I'm wondering when Dave will tell his mother about Shy.
1079931 Also, i changed the story title, and included the mane six as characters involved, since there all being thrown in. But the focus is still Dave and Fluttershy.
Same as Cheese2Hooves, i was sad i didn't have more Highschool with Fluttershy! Now i have more to read, i'm happy again This has gotten me to actually go to FimFiction on a regular basis, i never really came here before this story <.<
Finally a chapter where Fluttershy isn't berated, seriously in every other chapter something went wrong for her. I'm just glad to see a chapter dedicated to her being happy.
On a more critical note, the story has become (now) very formulaic. Dave wakes up/sees Flutters in the Bus/Douchebags arrive/shit happens in Lockers/Maths an ass/English & Biology is Fine/Cuddle in Study Hall and/or Lunch scene/Shit happens/Dave back home/Goes to Flutters house to Bow Chicka Wah Wah/and repeat. Also Dave kinda seems to be a bit one dimensional (As in he repeats everything he did yesterday). I don't know if you made him like that so he can have a sort of silent protagonist trait, but if Dave is suppose to be like that. Well...give him more back-story so we can relate to him more, all we know now is that he's a vegetarian. Hell we don't know where his father is. AND FOR GOD SAKE, HE SHOULD REPORT WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY TO THE PRINCIPAL!
Sorry for the short chapter, I have been caught up in alot of irl stuff.
1079475
Yeah, It's ok bro. I can never finish a chapter without having do some alot of stuff around the house or hapening events. And cause of that I'm running out of ideas for my third chapter. I'm going through a writers nightmare atm. But anyways sexy chapter and I'm wondering when Dave will tell his mother about Shy.
1079574 Next chapter will have some.. surprises. And will be really really LONG.
Nice one, not as gooey as i was expecting from your previous comment but still pretty darn good.
when do you think you will have the next chapter up?
1079657 Tommorow or tonight. I already have 1000 words done in it. But, what do you mean less gooey?
1079587 is it affix surprise (like all of the mane 6 appear) or a bad surprise (the bullies come after them again )
1079695 Twilightlicious. Nuff said.
1079738 Doubled?
Love the chapter! I agree it's a bit short but it's a good 1 none the less
1079840 Awesome. The next chapter will be awesome, and long. I might actually release it in a hour or so.
1079700 *GASP*
1079922 Ah, Lets just say
1079700 *GASP*
1079931 Also, i changed the story title, and included the mane six as characters involved, since there all being thrown in. But the focus is still Dave and Fluttershy.
1079943 cool how long do u intend for this story to go on for?
1079957 Until I die, and rot in my grave.
I held her against my chest as I held her ???
being forces to watch what they were doing. ???
1080432 Fixed.
I was getting pissed off, I had to go two days without your stories, and now you have given me 2 chapters to enjoy
Same as Cheese2Hooves, i was sad i didn't have more Highschool with Fluttershy! Now i have more to read, i'm happy again
This has gotten me to actually go to FimFiction on a regular basis, i never really came here before this story <.<
Finally a chapter where Fluttershy isn't berated, seriously in every other chapter something went wrong for her. I'm just glad to see a chapter dedicated to her being happy.
On a more critical note, the story has become (now) very formulaic. Dave wakes up/sees Flutters in the Bus/Douchebags arrive/shit happens in Lockers/Maths an ass/English & Biology is Fine/Cuddle in Study Hall and/or Lunch scene/Shit happens/Dave back home/Goes to Flutters house to Bow Chicka Wah Wah/and repeat. Also Dave kinda seems to be a bit one dimensional (As in he repeats everything he did yesterday). I don't know if you made him like that so he can have a sort of silent protagonist trait, but if Dave is suppose to be like that. Well...give him more back-story so we can relate to him more, all we know now is that he's a vegetarian. Hell we don't know where his father is. AND FOR GOD SAKE, HE SHOULD REPORT WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY TO THE PRINCIPAL!
But all in all, decent fic.