Idea: Rumble tries to save his brother but is betrayed by Femboi!Button to Soarin.

Rumble: Button!Why?!?
Button: Why !?! You broke my heart when you fucking dumped me for Sweetie Belle! Now with Mr. Soarin’s help you’re going to become a Stallion who would never going to even dream about fucking anyone else...

I figure if they can sissify stallions that they have it go the other way...

Great I was really hoping to see another chapter of this great story, loved to see how Thunderlane POV on things, I hope we will see another time skip and see how the conditioning will make his confused if he actually like it or not and I hope Soarin will keep him in his real persona. I would love to see an alternate chapter where the tables are flipped between the to or maybe involve Rumble in the play later as well. Keep it up.

9457643
This one is probably finished, If another chapter does appear it probably won't be for a long time.
9457014
No Idea who Rumble is. 😂 I'm guessing it's a character from one of the episodes I haven't seen.

While I enjoyed this, I preferred the first chapter by a large margin. I find this one to be a bit more rushed and half-baked, and like you wrote a second chapter because you could rather than because you should.

Repetition is perfectly fine, with a bit of variation. At the end of the day, all sex is the same tab going on the same slots. The differences come in tone, positioning, things like that. Don't be afraid to write a scene just because you did something similar in the past, especially where clop is concerned.

By your own admission, it seems like you didn't really feel like doing this second chapter, which is indicative of my earlier point that it may not have been necessary for you to do it. My general rule of thumb is to not write something unless you're super excited to do it (or you get paid a large sack of money, but I digress). I feel like this second chapter sort of bogs the entire story down, and if you were concerned of repetition or didn't put your all into it, as you said you didn't, you may have been better off leaving the story at one chapter.

That said, I still liked this, and it made me think about other, similar scenarios I could play around with. Overall, a solid story that could've used some work.

Good job, keep on improving.

the first chapter was fine, but the second one, is kind of messed up, mostly after sorin undoes the speech block

Spin off? Maybe lesbian mares next time?

thank you, i am sad now

...

I wish it was longer...

Let's all take a moment for Thunderlane for he is now in an eternal prison from which he can never come back out again. Anypony who would like to say something for Thunderlane, stand up please...

9598639
He indeed stuck like that

For myself, I loved the second one way more! I'm just into that evil devious kinks, and torments. Wouldn't even mind if you were repeating events, it's all been amazing, and would love for more just like chapter 2. 😍

heh,could we get a third what if chapter where soarin defaulted on his payments, and got 'repossessed',only to have him and his former slut sold to another much better stallion of a master?~,would be decent karma

9457699
Rumble is Thunderlane's little brother.

Who for some reason looks more like Soarin than Thunderlane.

... Well, that was... something

Usually I read porn largely for the laughs and to take the piss out of, but this one was a bit... darker then I expected.

Given though how I understand dom/sub relationships work, Soarin better watch out. Dom's take the well being of any sub very seriously. Like take a crowbar to your knee caps level of serious

Tears started to well up in Thunderlane's eye's a mix of anger, fear, and yearning for release buried his mind in emotion. “Please... Let me go, You've had your fun, I promise I won't tell anypony. Just let me have my life back.” The waterworks started to trickle down his cheeks, a hushed sob working its way out of his muzzle. “I don't want to be your slave, my dick hurts, and my balls ache so badly... I want to cum, I want to live a normal life again.” Thunderlane couldn't hold back the tears any longer, he cried and pleaded with Soarin.

And here's where Mr Crowbar and his assossiciat BT Mcpliars Esq come into play. I've seen a lot of stories here (nearly all of which I avoid like the plague while said plague is espousing the virtues of communal pedophile organ harvesting, fuck you Fall of Equestria) that deal with individuals and societies who are dedicated to defilement and "training" ponies or whatever. I'm surprised they seem to forget n given how magically powerful ponies they never figured their might be a counter group dedicated to nothing less then their eradication. I say eradication rather thec arrest because, lets face, given how aggressively friendly and dedicated to interpersonal relationships ponies are, this sort of thing is more then likely not held in the highest regard, and is met with appropiate force.

Namely

9591016

All I can say is, I hope someone finds out for you dear thunderlane, if not then I'm just gunna say rest in peace now, because that twisted buck is not changing the way your being treated any time soon, (I mean I doubt ever).

Its weird, but like I said, there's an odd dedication to this sort of thing in this fandom, one that is largely written by those who don't actually understand how dom/sub relationships work (no offense to you Kulpa, and yes, I am aware: fiction).

I'm not into this sort of thing, but I know folks, men and women, who are, and the rules clear: consent is paramount, you don't hurt your sub. Soarin is cruisin for a bruisin and his sub rights revoked along with his to limpless gait and the prefered and standard allotment of testicular presence

Soarin walked over to the bed and picked up a butt plug, it's width clearly wider than Soarin's cock.

Soarin picked up a small electronic box showing it, “Basically I can shock your dick, turn you into a pain-loving slut, or just torment you until I think you've learned your lesson. Just a helpful little reminder so you don't forget your place.”

I think you need to add the dark tag after this chapter.

Like if you are still waiting for a sequel!