This is amazing, it really needs second chapter where real Thunderlane's personality gets releases but his body is under complete control of Soaren. You hinted at it and now I can't stop imagining how hot that would be.

Second Chapter please!

This was a fun really I really hope you will do the second chapter that you talked about, I wonder if this was somehow backfire on Soarin with Thunderlane subject him to the same treatment in turn or something else. Looking forward to more of your work. Good luck. I wonder what the other other Wonderbolts will think of Thunder's change in attitude all of the sudden.

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Was the hint that obvious? :3 That is the current plan for the next chapter, had a change of heart at the last moment and decided it would be better in a separate chapter.

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Eventually/Soon^tm

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Don't go giving me ideas for a possible 3rd chapter. :3

This strikes me as something that could easily shift over towards feminization/sissification, which earns a thumbs up and a favorite.

Will have to read it tomorrow though as I'm still half asleep.

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Damn, that would be pretty amazing. Looking forward to the next.

That's when it hit him, they made his slut's ass taste like blueberries.

i.redd.it/otl9kmd3a7u11.jpg

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Stealing that! 😂😂😂

Very nice. Thanks for making this!

This story is great and super hot. Hits all of my fetishes in the right way I really want to see another chapter!

The issue I do have, though, is everything happened too fast. You could've stretched out this chapter by describing the experiences Thunderlane went through. What was he listening to, what subliminal messages did he see? What did he feel like waking up? I liked the drugging part, and you could've gone and added in a scene about Thunderslut being picked up and having the ponies doing the job discuss options and payment. Something like that would really help add depth to the story, rather than just breaks to skip to the next part.

**orders the treatment for myself** MOAR!!!!!!

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Thanks! I’m glad it’s hitting ‘the right buttons’ for people. I’m also glad that someone else feels the pacing is ‘off’. I felt that way too, but was basically like “I don’t know what to do!” ><

Appreciate the feedback immensely!

Love your works by the way. ^_^

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For me the pacing was off as well. We have three scenes.
The build up
The treatment
The aftermath.

Since we started the build up with all the detail and background, at a slow pace, that should have been reflected throughout. But I felt like we breezed through thunderlane's treatment. Causing the majority of the pacing error here. Then the aftermath, was faster than the build up. To be honest. I think the aftermath would have been better, if Soarin started with the original thunderlane's personality and toyed with him. Telling Thunderlane to pick up some stuff, and when he did, he would feel horny and needy. And have soarin toy with the stallion until he decides to try out the slut mode.

Sorry if this was unwelcome criticism. I do think this story has a good premise. Based on the feed back you got from all of us, do you think you'll be doing a second chapter?

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Any criticism is always welcome! I appreciate the time you took to provide me with it. ^_^ All very valid points.

I said that a second chapter was coming regardless of positive or negative reception ^_^ I want to work on a couple other ideas prior to starting the next chapter, but the ideas for the next chapter are still freshly hopping around in my noggin, so a quick turn around on chapter 2 isn’t out of the realm of possibilities.

Can’t wait for the next chapter

definitely another chapter

Ironically, I don't read much smut these days. Saw this story and, given how relevant to my interests it is, decided to give it a shot. I do not regret my decision in any way.

I think your formatting and similar could use a bit of work. Some of your dashes and other such punctuation feels a bit rough. As well as that, your pacing is a touch inconsistent. I wish you had slipped in another scene with the doctor explaining exactly how the voice commands work, besides just saying that they only worked for Soarin. I also wish you would've skipped explaining how the surgery went down in favor of skipping to when it was done and giving us a nice, long reveal of Thunderslut.

This is a good story. You made some choices that I very much agree with (making Thunderslut more fem, not letting Thunderslut cum for 3 months) as well as some choices I never would've thought of on my own (making Thunderslut bark when he's about to cum). This is a long-winded way of me saying that I really enjoyed this, and I expect more good work from you.

And, of course, you've earned this:
camo.derpicdn.net/f234d99c366f6cbb35d9e5ee19abebf342f8100a?url=https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.discordapp.net%2Fattachments%2F388908666755219456%2F417819078732939274%2FLewdChapterSealOfApproval.png%3Fwidth%3D475%26height%3D474

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Wow, comments and critique from another writer I love! I think I can die happy now. 'Pacing' seems to be a common complaint >< Hopefully I'll figure out a way to address that weakness in the second chapter. I'm also glad that there are a good group of degenerates who share my mutual kinks. ^_^

I usually don't comment on NSFW stuff but holy shit this is something beyond my wildest imagination. This is good I ain't gonna lie.

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Glad you liked it! ^_^

When is the next chapter coming out?

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media1.giphy.com/media/tzHn7A5mohSfe/giphy.gif?cid=3640f6095c624a35556e696136e5dd91

Soarin resented Thunderlane for that. He wished he could just change Thunderlane into something 'perfect'.(——

• Optional 'Complete Control' package, allow your master to command you to do anything he wishes, whether you want to or not, you'll comply.

“I....uh...well you know that, uh, we have been having some... issues-” Thunderlane yawned. “We've both been overlooking each other's faults for a while now.” Another yawn as Thunderlane's eyelids drooped slightly.

You're awake, sorry to keep you waiting so long.

Soarin arrived in the lobby of the of the Therapy Center shortly after receiving word

I quite enjoyed this story.
What I'm wondering is how is the legal situation in Equestria that such a service could be openly advertised?
Maybe by some reforms made by Cadance?
I know this story's focus isn't about this but I still would enjoy an explanation that is somewhat feasible.

“No, God!... No, God, Please, No, No, No, Noooooo! I'll do anything, just let me go please!”

I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE, DON'T DENY IT!

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I’ve been waiting years for someone to get that reference

“Clean that mess up,” Soarin said, gesturing to the mixture of cum and pre on the floor. “Then once you're finished you can meet me in the bedroom.”(——