I write, jam to music, play games, blog, and do some other things as well.
Auron works with a group of super-dimensional people who are mediators in the battle between light and dark. They go to different universes to balence out the dark and the light. Auron's new mission is in the Equestrian universe which has been receiving some weird signals as of lately. He must help the residence of this world deal out with the problem before it is too late.
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One word: Formatting.
The way this is set up is making it very hard to read. A good format is sections with spaces in between. This is very close to the infamous 'Wall of text', the nightmare of formatting.
And while this here just screams 'exposition', that's kinda why it's there for. As for the story itself; basic plot, but it has potential.
Onto the next chapter.
-Glassed
Perhaps just say 7:20 and then say he has to be there in 10 minutes.
Also, it's alsways nice to have something indicating a scene-change. Most people write a [.h.r.] (without the dots) to show it. It makes a line across the screen.
YOU MONSTER!
That's a word?! Wow!
OK, the only thing I'm worried about is making him seem over-powered, but I think it's still OK. He should do fine.
Other than a few grammar errors, and again a bit of formatting (which can be fixed with a few presses on the 'enter'-key and the [.h.r.] (again without the dots) I told you about), I see nothing that needs fixing emmensively.
-Glassed
Why thank you glassed. The only problem is copying it from word. I use word to type up the story, do some tweaking an paste it to the site but it gets rid of my spacings. Also next chapter will get his ass beaten by Lauren to show how weak he can be.