When The Heart Flutters

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Comments ( 6 )

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Krystal Clearskies

Krystal Clearskies #1 · Sep 5th, 2018 · 1 · ·

Those who didn't like the story: can you tell me what you didn't like, so I know and can improve?

Thank you.

Ashfur

Ashfur #2 · Sep 5th, 2018 · 2 · ·

Good story! The only things I can think of to fix (although I didn't go too far into editing mode):

Ditch the line (I know they are sexual innuendos, deal with it) in the diner. Author comments midway through the story are bad practice outside of deliberate 4th wall comedy stoeies.

Also, you keep typing "Iwas" instead of "I was". Missing that space there. Aside from that, excellent work!

Krystal Clearskies

Krystal Clearskies #3 · Sep 5th, 2018 · 1 · ·

9153533
Aye, you can thank Google docs for that problem. I used it to find all instances of i' because it doesn't auto capitalize to I, and it didn't add a space after it. So then I had to go through the entire story and manually correct those mistakes to add spacea. I got 99% of them to be fair. It was just easy to miss some :(

Krystal Clearskies