Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR
The Return of Har-meow-ny,
Episode 2
Part 2
[ Canterlot Castle]
“How did a chicken even get a hold of our sisters regalia?” Princess Luna asked as she and the girls trotted through the hall to check on how Princess Celestia was faring.
“I told you she was a giant chicken!” Sweetiebelle fussed at the others.
Luna ignored the trio as they started bickering again with a small sigh. This had been an exhausting day before Discord was freed. She was starting to feel a bit sorry for Rarity as despite being friends, the three of them dropped into an argument at a moments notice. She was also less than thrilled that Spike had gotten side tracked and couldn't make it out to help her with the three of them. It seemed he was often called onto be the tie breaker in such arguments according to Applebloom, who was then teased about bringing up Spike , which then devolved into another argument.
It had been a long time since she had to deal with fillies and she wasn't sure she was connecting with them properly or not. Granted they weren't afraid of her, which was very nice, many of the nobles couldn't even say that. Of course that was because they all expected a sudden return of Nightmare Moon and every curt statement she made they tried to twist into a second coming of the nightmare.
As such her night court was still short on any petitioners save overflow from the Day court, though most who were to be sent before her instead opted to reschedule. That did not mean she wasn't busy however. Many of the more serious court cases wound up before her. The Guards knew Princess Celestia was a bit of a soft touch for many crimes, and knew that Princess Luna was not. Still Luna was surprised at the crimes that were presented. The worst of which she had seen was an assault charge over a stallion. And even that was a weak case to be brought before her as it had only devolved into a slap fight without any real injuries. It seemed along with common sense most of the criminals as she had seen in the past were also gone. Perhaps Tia was correct in her plans after all.
Of course that was just Equestria. Luna was yet to be allowed to speak with any of the ambassadors. Which was a pity as all the stomping around the Yak ambassadors did when they were here sounded like quite the dance. Tia had said that it was rare they visited at all so it must have been a interesting party as her sister always seemed exhausted after the meetings.
“Hey Princess you okay?” Scootaloo asked hopping into the air and fluttering her wings like mad in order to stay hovering for a few seconds at eye level with the dark furred Princess.
“Ahh yes.. Sorry Scootaloo . We were lost in thought a moment. Is something wrong?” Luna asked snapping back to reality.
“Nah and that's the worrying part. We ain't seen anything crazy in a while.” Applebloom added.
“Yeah aside from the potted plants walking around looking for water this halls pretty empty.”Sweetiebelle pointed out as a fern waddled past it's roots pushed over the edges of the pot it was carrying to act as legs.
“That is troubling.” Luna frowned. “ This seems a lull before something is to happen.”
“Hey do you hear music?” Scootaloo asked her ears perked up.
Luna looked around, her own ears perking as a few strains of music caught her attention and drew her gaze to the end of the hall.
Rolling out of the double doors of the throne room was a massive white ball that took up much of the hallway. As the ball continued to roll squishing slightly against the floor Luna took note of a blue, green and pink tassel attached to one side of it before the ball rolled a little more showing a pair of kicking white legs with golden hoof covers.
“Is that Princess Celestia or another chicken?” Applebloom asked glancing to Sweetiebelle who was just stared at the ball, her jaw dropped.
Luna blinked noticing that the corpulent sun Princess was being rolled out by a small group of shetland ponies with bright orange fur and brilliant green manes and tails. It was from this group the music seemed to be coming from.
“Shoo be, doo bee, doopity doo
We've got quite the conundrum for you.
Shoo be, doo bee, doopity dus
if you are bright, you'll listen to us.”
“What do you get when you guzzle down cake?
Eating as fast as the baker can bake.
Don't be surprised that you're terribly fat.
How can you sit on a throne, like, that?
They don't make them strong enough....”
Luna frowned not sure where the small singing ponies were taking Celestia, or where that last drum beat came from, but she didn't plan to let them do so.
“YOU THERE KNAVES. UNHOOF MINE SISTER AT ONCE!” Luna bellowed brandishing Dr. Choppy at them. The Princess of the Moon was also trying to ignore that Dr. Choppy had developed his own wide toothy grin and would occasionally try to psychoanalyze something she said as if it was a psychiatrist.
This was of course absurd as Dr. Choppy had gotten his doctorates in Education and Engineering.
Also not all of her issues could be traced back to her father, her ax was just sprouting gibberish with that train of thought.
“Yeah let her go!” Sweetiebelle shouted trying to match Luna in stance and poise, brandishing a small wooden ax modeled after Dr. Choppy she had gotten from the Castle gift shop.
It was a better seller that the Princess Celestia wig and Tiara set, which amused Luna to no end.
Luna smirked , thinking the fillies attempts were too cute to be threatening. Still the point seemed to get across to the orange ponies as they all panicked and scampered away rushing back into the throne room and slamming the door behind them.
“Well that was easy.” Scootaloo nodded to herself.
“Umm not tah point it out after ah easy win, but is Princess Celestia still rolling?” Applebloom asked.
Luna glanced down at her charges then back up at her sister whose head rolled into view , the Princess of the Sun looked a little green before her head vanished under her bulk which was decidedly rolling down the hall towards the four of them and picking up speed.
“Oh dear.” Luna frowned.” This was not our most thought out idea. Girls, RUN!”
No further words were needed as the CMC took off like shots, having gotten quite used to fleeing the scene of their cutie mark attempts rather quickly. Luna was almost hard pressed to keep up.
“Ooh I'm going to be ill.” Celestia moaned as she rolled after the group.
[ Ponyville]
“Okay is any one else freaked out by this cause I'm super freaked out about this.” Rainbow Dash asked out loud as she flew a bit above the group looking at the swirling river zipping through the air above town.
“Yeah this is pretty unnerving.” Applejack muttered noting one of the houses was upside down with the occupants inside seemingly unaffected by gravity. The house next to it had a large picture window, though the inside was full of soapy water and laundry and was swishing back and forth with a few ponies flailing in it screaming about a spin cycle.
“Yeah, I know, these cotton candy clouds are too thin and they're only drizzling skim chocolate milk. Who drinks that swill?” Pinkie Pie protested.
“Oh I don't know, there's all sorts of animals I've only read about. There's a jub jub bird. And ooh is that a bandersnach? Oh and that must be a Wolpentinger!” Fluttershy squeed “It's so cute.”
“Fluttershy aren't most of those from that fantasy animal guide I got you a few years ago for Hearths Warming?” Dash asked.” None of those animals are supposed to be real.”
“In any case the sooner we fix this the better.” Rarity frowned looking over Twilight still draped over Applejack's back.”It doesn't seem like there's any change. She's pretty much listless and apathetic. It's worrying to see Twilight like this.”
“Looking at Spike's not much better.” Rainbow Dash frowned.”He's been drooling in my mane for a while now watching the fish...... and now you're all staring at something behind me.....”
The four ponies on the ground stared up at the swirling river behind Rainbow Dash as something emerged from the water behind her.
“Shoo be doo be doo...” A voice murred prompting Dash to scream out and whirl around so fast she sent Spike flying off her back to be caught be Fluttershy as her hoof came around striking the pony like face of the creature that came out of the water behind her.
There was a 'whud' as hoof met mint scaled flesh and the pony creature's head snapped back.
The creatures upper body was that of a mint colored, fish scaled, pony and it's lower body was a large fish tail. Any further observation was cut short as the creature tumbled back into the water dazed and was swept away into the sky by the current.
“K.O.” shouted an announcer like voice from some where.
“Oh dear, I think that was Lyra.” Rarity commented. “Bon Bon is not likely to be happy about that.”
“Ooops.” Dash muttered.
“We really need tah git to the library.” Applejack winced.
“This place is just really wrong.” Applejack muttered ducking under and over-sized green and orange mushroom that had grown out of Quills and Sofas.
“ It is horridly tacky..” Rarity muttered noting the formerly white picket fence in front of another house had been painted plaid.
“ And that's a snufflupagus and ooh that's a converter....”Fluttershy giggled as Pinkie Pie did her best to keep the yellow pegasus from running off after the creatures.
“Well at least some one's enjoying this madness.” Rainbow Dash muttered tossing a ball she had found between her wings to keep Spikes attention with her.
The dumbed down dragon was easily distracted and had tried to run off after something shiny at least twice so far.
The one time he had gotten away he had found an odd pink crown thing and put it on. The confused purple Dragon had turned into a odd little monkey looking thing with a few aspects of his dragon heritage, though Rarity had pointed out that it had decidedly made Spike female for a moment. Removing the crown turned him back to the grayed out dragon.
The mares had shoved the crown into the bottom of the nearest trash can they could find and Rarity magically sealed the lid.
It was still better than Twilight, who hadn't so much as flicked her tail since Applejack started carrying her. She was muttering to her self though all Applejack could hear was some rather badly rhymed poetry and grumbling about how difficult everything was.
Continuing through town the group heard screaming. Looking up they noticed that the sun now had a face and it was what was screaming. Granted it was pitch black for the few moments the sun was up before it set and the moon rose into the sky dripping globs of green cheese across the landscape as everything lit up as bright as day.
“I truly hope everything goes back to normal once Discord is defeated or this will be a horrendous clean up task.” Rarity frowned.
As the sun rose again and the sky grew dark a figure burst out of a veritable jungle of swizzle straws that had grown up around town hall.
“OH THANK THE STARS YOU'RE HERE....”
“GAH!!” * WACK*
Again there was the sound of a hoof hitting flesh as Rainbow Dash lashed out.
“K.O.” the announcer called again.
This time however it was a tan earth pony with bright pink hair that fell over with a crash into a garden of flowers that looked like little fatherly stallions. The flowers protested the abuse and Dash took note that it was a small Herb garden.
“I do believe that was the mayor.” Rarity added.
“Rather punchy today aren't yah Dash?” Applejack stated.
“Well ponies need to stop sneaking up on me!” Rainbow Dash grumbled.
“Umm guys we have another problem.” Pinkie Pie chimed up from a bit further ahead of the group.
“I did not need to hear that.” Rarity winced trotting over to where Pinkie Pie was, the rest of the group on her hooves.
The pink mare was standing before a very large hole in the ground. At the bottom of the hole was a jumbled assortment of lab equipment and supplies and boxed up books.
“Uh oh.” Rarity winced.
“Oh my.” Fluttershy muttered.
“Well shoot....” Applejack grumbled.
“Where the heck is the library!?” Dash demanded of the basement of Golden Oaks, the library tree itself no where to be seen.
Well thats not unexpected the library got up and left. At the moment doubt Twilight cares about Dr Choppy
You described the chaos in Ponyville so vividly that warrent a fanart or two. A cake-filled, rolling Celestia make a great fanart too.
At this point, I want to ask where did that angelic white rabbit go? Left its owner to defend herself like that.
Screw Barb, Spikette is now definitively a thing!
9194433
Rahs came along to Canterlot, plus Angel Bunny has restraining orders from at least two dozen nobles. So Fluttershy left him at home.
I'm not even going to ask how a Super Crown got there and just be thankful ponies don't have the internet yet.
Perhaps my reading comprehension is failing me but what on earth is this talking about?
it's probably up in the air somewhere over the sidewalk under the ground
Easily the best part of this chapter.
9194457
Herb garden. Herb sounds like a fatherly sort of name......
9194445
9194453 This joke was quite literally put in during my last edit of the chapter.
Thank you, Rainbow Dash!
What‽ None of the really great Whangdoodles?
zacksmithwriter.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/whangdoodles.jpg?w=510
(By Julie Edwards. Julie Andrews Edwards. Yes, that Julie Andrews.)
9194433 The white rabbit is late of course
Try looking up... also inform Twilight that all her books are gone, the reaction should be interesting
they skipped a part of the questline, so the conditions for golden oaks library being accessible haven't been met. they need to either go back to the start of the quest and do it all again, or trick the library into thinking they already went through the maze.
or they could try and see if going out of bounds lets them go into the library
9194453
In Before a sexy garbage can is the result of that.
Someone's got the missile hands today
Oh, no. The Super Crown is in this fic, too!? Not even fanfiction is safe. On a side note, Discord cheated and he's gonna earn more than just a boot to the head. I want him to be hurt so much, that his ancestors are gonna feel it.
9194651
Does he even have ancestors or did he go back in time to be his own grandfather just to screw with reality and continuity?
9194683
Not only is he his own grandpa, hes also his own mother, younger brother, and third cousin twice removed.
9194713
This is why you don't screw with time travel. Headaches like this happen.
I bet wilight turned the library into a flying DeathTree(TM).
9194683 Discord HAS to come from somewhere, unless this is a universe where he's created from chaos magic.
9194683 9194713
9194713
"I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate."
9194792
“May the Schwartz be with you!”
9194757
Okay i can explain this now because i doubt it will be coming up in story. All of the Gods of TGaP started as Mortals. Some of them just so long ago that they don't really recall. they all did something that made an aspect of the world take notice of them.
Celestia was born an alicorn and it was thought a birth defect for some time, though she was the first god of the ponies. When she trained and joined with the group of unicorns who raised the sun, the first time she did so the sun chose her thus giving her two portfolios. She gained a third when she made the Zebra, though with the birth of Velkorn as a Zebra god she lost that power and is just the goddess of the sun and ponies.
Luna was a pegasus born a few years after Celestia took full control of the sun. She dreamed of the moon and in one particularly vibrant dream she walked on the surface of it. When she woke she had a horn and the moon had hoof prints on it. This made her god of the moon and dreams. Later she created the Nox- Cal and the Moon Dogs and she's considered the god of them as well though the latter is a shared portfolio with Forthe and the Nox- Cal are a shared portfolio with Celestia as they are from Pony stock.
Discord started as a earth pony court jester who slowly went mad with how the nobles treated him as scum and disposable entertainment. So he started playing tricks on the nobles and setting up other nobles to take the fall for his pranks. His antics started the first war of the tribes and chaos joined him soon after. He came into being perhaps a hundred or so years before Celestia.
All of the others have similar stories that they either forgot or hide.
Cadence's story has already been told.
Gods have 3 tiers of power.
Tier 1 - a race. These gods tend to be the weakest as their power waxes and wanes dependent on the purity, and number of their race on the world at any give point in time.
Tier 2 - an tangible object. The moon , the sun, lightning, storms etc etc. So long as the object exists they draw power and if it's in sight or around them they gain even more power.
Tier 3- a concept. While tier three can be the most powerful it's also situational on what the concept is and how much is around at any given point in time. IE the more chaos Discord causes the more his power grows as it snowballs. A less easy to generate power like love is harder to surround oneself with So Cadence isn't super powerful. Mean while some one like Luna doesn't gain nearly any power from Dreams while away , though she's neigh unstoppable if she's dream walking. A tier three can be the strongest or the weakest power set to have by these variables.
Of course they all stack. Celestia is at 4 all the time as the sun is always shining some where, though while in direct sunlight she goes up to 5.
Luna is a 3, 4 in direct moon light. She cranks up to a 7 in the dream realm however
Cadence hovers around a 1. A 3 when shiny is around.
Discord is about a tier kumquat. fluctuating into a yurt or a bowl of count chocula with strawberry milk dependent on the situation.
Back in Canterlot, of course. While Spike might have solved the original meaning of the riddle, involving the plural "you", Discord more than likely changed the plural to singular and directed the riddle to Twilight. Which of course means finding the elements back where you began could mean a number of different possibilities. Twilight's Tower where she lived prior to Ponyville, Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns where the mane 6 got their cutie marks, Canterlot General Hospital where Twilight was born, and wherever Twilight Velvet and Nightlight were the night Twilight was conceived (which I'm betting is Avianna manor).
Of course if Discord had told that riddle to Rahs then you are all in very deep trouble cause there is no way you're getting to the dream realm anytime soon.
>chocolate skim milk
What even is the point
9194469
exsplane plz so I don’t have to google and spend the rest of my life regretting it.
I immediately imagined Dr. Choppy to look like the Unnatural Axe from Munchkin.
cdn.ozone.bg/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/a4e40ebdc3e371adff845072e1c73f37/u/n/bb702f2bae4f99a7d31177c5a168fd2d/razshirenie-za-igra-s-karti-munchkin-2-unnatural-axe-32.jpg
Love it.
9194898
There's nothing to explain, I just thought it was funny...
9194987
wrong comment got linked for some reason, was trying to link to comment about the super crown
9194651
Does this mean Spike had the shortest Princess reign on record?
9185529 Called it.
Later, at the town dump...
Dr. Choppy needs his/her own backstory!
Was that a Peach Crown/Bowsette Reference I saw in there?! O.O
9195988
yes
9194431
Could be floating above the sky-river? Has any mare thought to look up? Then again, that's just inviting something to fall back down like a pie... or a house... or a house-sized pie...
9196526
I heard tha announcer from Street Fighter IV
I don’t get it
9196509
It’s like a video game, NPCS never look up
9198203
The crown from mario respnsable for all the female bowser posts
9198426
Never played it so that reference went right over my head
9199259
Game with it isn't out yet but the effects of it are all over the internet
TDR, it is a Wolpertingle. One n, not two.
9207975
I think the WoW one is a tinger
9207980
I got that googling. The WoW one is a Wolpertingerl. It's basically the same thing, but with an L.
And now I got that 'Oompa Loompa' song stuck in my head. Thanks for that TDR.
I kid. That actually is a funny image. I'd say it also shows your age, but cable stations still insist showing that movie around Christmas time every year.
Well, all but TNT; they show that 'A Christmas Story'. For 24 hours.
They've been doing that since... well, they were doing it when I was in grade school, and that was almost three decades ago.
Damn, I hate getting old....
9241987
You hate getting old? I'm only 18 and I've been wishing I was still 5 for the last few years.
Excuse me, what?